The Devil's Trap - Chandra Nandini SS Story - Completed - Page 3

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AshtaVasus thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#21

Originally posted by: aishwish

One word, "wow", ,mazaa aa gaya!

too good ya sangeetha.

I really loved your penning style in this update, no dialogues and just thought process, and a thought process so accurate.Your grasp on the characters are so perfect. one more thing which I liked was the fact that it focused on CC vs greek , and how other characters have a passive appearance. I know probably later they will participate actively, but as of now, I really appreciate it.

the update was very crisp. I can see it is a four short. So, I will come back when you have updated the last part, so that I can read in one go.


Thanks Aish.
After reading most of the FFs with all sorts of dialogs, I actually was worried, that nobody is going to read my piece, with no dialogs !!! But I just enjoyed typing my thoughts, so I went ahead and posted it.
And I am learning a few other lessons too. I drafted it as a one shot first. The space constraint here made me split and expand story into two Chapters. After Posting 1st Chapter and while finetuning the second Chapter, I realise that it could turn into 4 chapters. Funny, The more I delay posting, the more ideas crop up. And the chapter keeps expanding.
Thankfully, my Title has some connection with the story and its end. I wonder how people pick the titles for their 50 plus episode writing. Hats off to them.

Other characters having Passive appearance - I actually dint plan it. May be, the Passive writing style made them appear passive?!

Even I prefer to read stories at one go. Would wait for your comments when I finish.


aishwish thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#22

Originally posted by: rajatshweta



Other characters having Passive appearance - I actually dint plan it. May be, the Passive writing style made them appear passive?!


I think I worded wrongly, my thoughts. what I meant was, for instance, Nandini, she doesn't has anything to do in the update, but still she appears in the story, when Helena, introspects. we get a glimpse of the bond between C & N, when Helena thinks "his nandini". Still the prime focus was on CC and greek gang, I know Nandini later will be in action, but as of now, it was nice, to have CC vs Greeks and only CC vs Greeks.
Edited by aishwish - 8 years ago
AshtaVasus thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#23

Originally posted by: aishwish


I think I worded wrongly, my thoughts. what I meant was, for instance, Nandini, she doesn't has anything to do in the update, but still she appears in the story, when Helena, introspects. we get a glimpse of the bond between C & N, when Helena thinks "his nandini". Still the prime focus was on CC and greek gang, I know Nandini later will be in action, but as of now, it was nice, to have CC vs Greeks and only CC vs Greeks.




More than the glimpse of the bond between C & N, I wanted the jealousy and hatred of Helena that shines through the words "His Nandini" ...

Both Mother and Daughter have been caught. But both of them feel absolutely NO remorse, for their actions. Instead, they feel it's their privilege to play with Chandra's feelings and Chandra's life. They feel Chandra is their Slave King.

While Mom feels that she and her family has done a favour to Chandra, Daughter feels that she has a right to eliminate people from his life. Their Arrogance, and their Pride in exercising their Power is revealed.

Even now, their focus is NOT to seek pardon from Chandra, but. How to escape from the situation, and How to make Chandra Surrender to them...




Edited by rajatshweta - 8 years ago
JanakNandini thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#24
Yes,absolutely. THESE duo are perfect antagonists.
I like your duo.Apama enhance the flavour to your ff.
Expecting a sinster plot from them.
Abinaya_24 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#25
This was an awesome start Sangeetha👏👏 will come up with my comments once I'm free
AshtaVasus thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#26
Chapter 2

King Chandragupta Maurya was standing in his chamber's balcony, with his hands stretched out on the balcony wall. He was thinking about the events that happened a few minutes back... The real Rajdrohis of Magadh, Apama and Helena were caught red-handed. They were immediately locked in separate secret rooms without balconies. Nobody in the palace knew about it except Him, Nandini, Moora, Daadi and Chanakya.

He looked at the Moon. He was happy and visibly relieved. He felt all the weight has been lifted from his chest after a long time. He felt light. The curtain of doubt has been lifted. The trust in Nandini has been reinstated. His Nandini is cleared of all doubts and crimes in Durdhara's death. His heart was rejoicing against the victory over his mind. For once, the mind also agreed with his heart.

Oh My God.. My Nandini is innocent! She is proved innocent! She din't commit Durdhara's murder! She was actually framed by Helena and Apama for it! I can't wait to see her, take her in my arms and tell her how happy Iam...

Immediately he became sad. His face fell. He felt pain, thinking of all the things he had done to hurt Nandini - Everytime. Deeply. Purposely. Deliberately.

All this because of Apama and Helena ??

He thought of all the relatives who had plotted against him and played with his feelings. Apama, Sunanda, Roopa, Malay, Gautami, Avantika.... All of them are in-laws. All extended family members. Except Avantika, all others have proven to be traitors.

Could Avantika also be involved in this Plan ? Why Not? She could be taking revenge for her daughter Roopa? He remembered how his Rajmudra was stolen from his chamber and Avantika had misused it to release her mad son from the Palace. But, apart from that, she was not involved in any other crimes. Was she actually involved in the Rajmudra theft, or was she trying to save her daughter Roopa's identity at that time? Is there something more to it than meets the eye?

He wanted to leave no stones unturned in unravelling this mystery. He summoned Avantika to his room. He told her that now he have some records in his possession to prove that she did not actually steal his Rajmudra from his chamber. He questioned her why she took that blame on her.

Avantika, the ex-queen and mother of Nandini, had been rudely woken up from her sleep and summoned by the King in the middle of the night, without any explanation. Her mind was clearly out of her wits.

She straightaway confessed that she did indeed witness Nandini stealing the Rajmudra, saw her writing something with her hand on a Scroll and then used the Rajmudra on it. She took the blame on herself because she wanted to save her daughter from Chandra's wrath. In fact, after taking the blame for that crime in front of Chandra, she had reprimanded Nandini for her act. And Nandini very clearly told her that she had NOT left her room the previous night; and she would NEVER do such an act against the King.

At that time, that she was not aware of her daughter Roopa's existence and it was all her doing. Avantika regretted that since Roopa is dead, she won't be able to prove this truth to Chandra now.

Chandra was listening to her without interruption. No way to prove whether Roopa wrote the Scroll ? Why Not ? The Scroll was used to release Pandugrath, the last son of Nand and Avantika. The scroll is still lying in the Dept. Of Criminal Acts and Records. We can cross check the handwriting of Nandini and Avantika with that Scroll.

He dismissed her and ordered a maid to bring the Scroll to be brought to him immediately.

Chandra couldn't sit in one place. He walked restlessly, hither and thither in his chamber. The thoughts were flowing lucidly and in sequence now.

Apama had joined hands with Sunanda. Sunanda raised Roopa. Roopa played Nandini's impostor and made him believe that Nandini was having an affair with Malay. Malay also turned out to be a traitor.

Chandra remembered how he had taunted and tortured Nandini by reading out all letters that she had supposedly written to Malay. Wait... the letters are still lying in my room. He hurriedly opened his cupboard drawer and pulled out the letters.

Now that both his heart and mind were working together, he was able to see things much clearly. He saw all 3 letters that Nandini had supposedly written to Malay were in 3 different handwriting.

Just at that time, the maid returned with the Scroll that he had ordered for. He found that the handwriting of one of those 3 letters and the Scroll matched perfectly. So this is Roopa's Handwriting ? Whose handwriting is there in the other two letters ?

My God, How many people are involved in this? How long have they been plotting against Nandini ? Wait... how long have they been playing with ME ?

He rushed to the Dept. Of Criminal Acts and Records in the middle of the night. He remembered, during Durdhara's abortion attempt, he and Acharya had taken letters from each and every lady of the Palace, in the pretext of recording their gold possession. He din't bother waking up the book keepers. He himself started searching for those letters in that Department records.

His heart and mind were now set on course to clear Nandini's name first, at any cost. He first searched for Nandini's letter. Nandini's handwritten letter showed that she did not write either the Scroll or any of the 3 letters in her name.

What ? Nandini is innocent in Durdhara's murder. Nandini is innocent in the Rajmudra theft. And Nandini is innocent in this act too ? And he had tortured her good heart and made her cry unnecessarily? He had called her a characterless woman; accused her of having an extramarital affair; insulted her chastity; he even thought she was keeping Vrath for Malay; he had manhandled her. What all have I done?

His heart ached. He banged his fist hard against the Pillar. The guilt enraged him with a thirst to find out the real culprits who had framed his beloved wife and manipulated him to do all such acts that he never dreamt of doing to his Lover. He vowed that he is going to get to the bottom of this issue.

He looked at those letters again.

(a) Avantika's handwriting also did not match any of the letters. So, the handwriting which matched both the Scroll and the Letter must have been written by Roopa only.

(b) The second letter handwriting was a bit different. There was no record of that handwriting in his earlier records.

(c) The third letter handwriting matched with ... Helena??

He remembered reading that specific letter on Malay's birthday; and how Helena kept pointing out that Nandini cried for Malay while making his Mukhut; and how everytime she provoked his anger that he asked Nandini to make his Suhag Raat bed arrangement with Helena; how he had insulted Nandini to decorate his Hamam while he bathed with Helena... He thought he was making Nandini jealous. Now when he reminisced all that, he realised how disgusting his behaviour had been.

Wait... These events happened much before Durdhara's death. Even before Chaya's miscarriage. All this happened right after Nandini's certification at Balgram. So, Helena's involved in this for a very long time ??? And Apama was not in Pataliputra at that time... His head started spinning.

Ok... Murder. Kidnapping. Usurping. Betrayal. Deception. Defamation. Manipulation. Coercion. Treason. Invasion. Conspiracy. He started investigation on one issue, and one link has lead to another link. This matter is getting deeper and dirtier by the hour.

He realised that this is not going to be just a hearing and punishment declaration at the Rajsabha the next day morning. This is much more than that. The fact that the minute he declares punishment for the Greek Queen, the impending war break out between Greek and Magadhians loomed large in front of his eyes. This has to be handled diplomatically; delicately; strategically; tactfully. I have to bring this to the notice of Acharya as soon as possible.

Saam... Dhan.. Bhed... Dhand... His Acharya's teaching was ringing in his ears, as he walked back towards his Daadi's Chamber.

**************************


If you like this chapter, please click on the "LIKE" Button. I would love to receive your feedback on the chapters - so kindly leave your comments.


Edited by rajatshweta - 8 years ago


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JanakNandini thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#27
Perfect King...
Simply awesome! I felt like reading about real cgm.
Thanks a lot sangeetha to bring a brainy plot...
Simply superb!
Actually i expected some apama convo...cgm is a surprise to me!
Yes he was right all played with him...

One line except Avantika all are traitors...
Iam swooning 'imagining cgm taking myname lol

shailusri1983 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#28
Sangeeta, I am definitely intrigued about how you will take this one forward. You have shown a Samrat who thinks in logical steps, executes his thoughts into actions, and makes deductions based on them. He is not one who keeps swinging between the opposite needles of emotion indiscriminately. He listens to both his heart and brain.
Edited by shailusri1983 - 8 years ago
jayaks02 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#29
This is a very nice OS or series on the horrid happenings of the serial.

After so much terrible happenings in serial, you have still managed to bring in a sense of proportion, balance, thinking in both CnC, especially Chandra.

Very well written - The speed at which Chandra is connecting in your story astounds me. 😉

I am used to the brainless, emotional idiot on screen who has become a woman abuser also these days.

You should write good number of chapters with this plot. I liked it much.
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Posted: 8 years ago
#30

Originally posted by: shailusri1983

Sangeeta, I am definitely intrigued about how you will take this one forward. You have shown a Samrat who thinks in logical steps, executes his thoughts into actions, and makes deductions based on them. He is not one who keeps swinging between the opposite needles of emotion indiscriminately. He listens to both his heart and brain.



The credit of Chandra's monologue goes to You, Jodha and Siva.
As I said earlier, I wrote a small OS and later developed into Chapters. Chandra was not part of it at all. I had included Chandra in C and C conversation only.

It is only after after feedback from you guys, that I included Chandra's monologue.
I realised that Chandra is the lynch pin of this story. Every single character in the story is related to him, and revolves around him.
But when I started writing his thoughts, it went up to 8 pages straight that I had to split it again 😉

Just goes to show how valuable the readers comments are... so, thank you dear.
Edited by rajatshweta - 8 years ago

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