Marriage is about a guy being a mess and a women fixing him- Shahid - Page 13

He's a public figure and making controversial statements will get you backlash. He and his statements don't exist in a vacuum. When you say shit in public, you get judged for it. Rule as old as time. So he's free to say what he wants on his marriage, and am free to judge him for it.

And it becomes public discourse because women have been treated like they are rehab centers for men for the longest time. you better believe some of us are fed up and we do not play this game of misogyny. we are not interested in fixing man children.

Originally posted by: Sritishabir1

He's a public figure and making controversial statements will get you backlash. He and his statements don't exist in a vacuum. When you say shit in public, you get judged for it. Rule as old as time. So he's free to say what he wants on his marriage, and am free to judge him for it.

And it becomes public discourse because women have been treated like they are rehab centers for men for the longest time. you better believe some of us are fed up and we do not play this game of misogyny. we are not interested in fixing man children.

1. Shahid's statement does not speak of and had any hint of misogyny, unless you know what misogyny means, infect he is even downplaying his own gender stating that he NEEDS a woman so that he can be a better version of himself

2. Calling himself a Mess is obviously not in a serious way, he is not calling himself a man child or someone who is horrible and needs a Rehab, obviously no sane one will pass such statement about themselves in public, it's obvious he is just been playful in a joviol way.

3. Since when we take this RESPONSIBILITY to JUDGE others like idiots and twist the celebs' personal statement about their relationship only stated in a fun way, to make it a punching bag and label it against all women and men, and do all this faaltu ka dark disturbing drama?

Dont take someone's seemingly good play of words on the face value, try to decode the negativity, sadism, venomous generic judgements and unproductive pessimistic thinking behind seemingly nice posts, just bcoz of good play of words.

Focus less on the fancy words, and more on the thought process to see what it is inducing inside your own mind.

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Ignore them. They are not worth it.

Guess it hit a raw nerve somewhere as some of them may be like Shahid in own life or hold same views as them.

When they got nothing they start personal attacks and stalking every post they disagree with.

Useless hyper religious trad right wingers.

Misogyny is staple for them.

Or maybe just a bunch of butthurt Shahid fans getting defensive.

Same guys like toxic abuser Salman too. So the rants are a given.

Originally posted by: myviewprem

In india elders think for everything marraige is the fix

Man is drunkard marry him off he will stop drinking

Man is irresponsible marry him off he will become responsible

Man is unemployed marry him off he will start working

Man has sickness marry him off he will get cured

Man is doing wrong marry him off he will leave unlawful activities

Man has girl friend parents dislike marry him off to another girl

Man is idealistic marry him off it will make him worldly wise

Man parents die no one to take care marry him off

Man first wife dies marry him off as fast as possible so someone take care of him and his house

For girls exact opposite you do if girl is wayward, bad, sick etc never marry her shes unfit to be anyone wife

Anyways boys or sons are spoilt rot by parents in india from childhood than daughters because having a son is very big thing in india and hence wife has to fix them after marriage mostly.

in reality no one changes much after marriage like drunkard will not stop drinking or bad man will not become good or unemployed will turn employed, its just that woman will bear all responsibility of man and his house and family mostly do job for them on behalf of husband and themselves. Parent just push thei son responsibility on wife head thats all. Very few change after marraige mostly they reamin same with minor changes

Lol this is so true. I have an uncle who has reached 50 and still unmarried. He was very carefree kind of guy, still is. Didn't complete his studies, now runs a shop.

He has got lonely and wants to get married. Whole family is trying to find a girl for him including my parents. We all know he's not marriage material. But everyone thinks he would change after he gets married.

I told my family once, its okay if they're finding a girl for him, but don't hide his true nature and personality, or anything about him to the girl's family, like it often happens in arranged marriages. Otherwise it would be ruining the girl's life. And ideally you shouldn't find a girl for him because he's not husband material. They got offended and said I'm selfish for thinking that way. He's family so we should help him.

As I like such books (with humour), I read it...

Originally posted by: atominis

This is not how we are meant to be. This is what patriarchal society compels women to be. Always asking even little girls to be more mature or quieter or patient or responsible and justifying even violent, reckless behaviour of even adult men in name of men will be men.

One can see lot of brainwashed women with low self esteem, self hate, internalised misogyny, or probably brainwashed by religion, serials, films, society, culture, defending Shahid.

It is there only among humans. Never seen any species where female has to coddle or fix adult male and serve him all life. Only humans seem to want woman to mother them all life.

This is not according to universe but manmade society.

Some women also seem to take pride in the fact that man depends on them or is too dependent on them and see that dependence as some form of love.

They raise their sons, nephews, grandsons same way. Too entitled, spoiled, coddled ROTTEN. No wonder same coddled boys grow up to be overgrown manchild with zero responsibility or accountability and assuming all women should fix them, serve them, be a punching bag, tolerate it all or be the 'bigger person' blah blah, while the man gets away with anything and still pretends to be superior or head of the family even if he cannot even clean his mess or take responsibility or accountability for own behaviour nor knows where his own clothes are kept or arrange his own wardrobe.

I wonder if men are 'a mess' and woman has to fix them then why are they labeled or think they are head of the family? Let woman be in charge then. Why should a mess of a man think he has to lead family?

Red - now, that's why it's the saddest. It's hypocritical as well. One can't take pride in the 'I can fix him' like theyare a rehab centre; then cry about their life. Same way, it's always women who pushes another woman 'to fix' these men. & they come in many packaging.

- After marriage he'll stop fcuking around.

- Things aren't going well? Have children, he'll come around.

- Endure. With time, you'll be alright.

- It must be you who's lacking. Otherwise, why'd he go to other women.

Wife died? Oh poor 80 year old bhai saab, get married. You need someone to take care of you.

Husband died? You are 25? 18. If you have children. Live for your children. If you don't have children, be a maid or be abandoned.

Family? In worst cases : This is your destiny. What can we do even.

Having problems? - Keep your attitude your check. You gotta learn to compromise.

Society? What a bad omen. Unlucky. Arrogant.

Eh! Husband left him? Must be her fault. She left husband? What a s!ut.

That's our society. 🙃

Some closed-minded town-criers here ... 😃

Can't believe this thread is still on !!

Irrespective of whatever insights we have from forum members, Shahid has a happy family..he spends good time with kids, his wife seems cheerful in general..no bored or angry looks..He has a great relation with his half brothers and sister..his step mom gives him credit for keeping the family together and his mom calls him her anchor.

One thing we can accuse him for is not being politically correct or fake..also a bad sense of humor.

Anyways opinion of random people who don't know him doesn't make a difference to his family

Originally posted by: Clochette

As I like such books (with humour), I read it...

Was avoiding this thread..thanks for bringing me back 😞

No thanks

If people have had sad or negative experiences in life they should change the environment which is sucking life out of them. It's good to go out and meet some really nice people..they exist