Is Katrina out of Vicky’s league? - Page 3

Originally posted by: atominis

You made the point I hesitated to post.

Most successful, top achieving men avoid marrying women equally educated, accomplished as themselves and even their families do not prefer DIL to be as educated, earning or accomplished as their son. This is sexist nature of society and reflects lop sided power dynamic in institution of marriage.

This is the reason why people still say in India, that it is harder to find a groom for a girl who is highly educated, high earning, successful and often see achievements of girls as a potential problem thinking the more she achieves, the harder it will be to get her married. Jeetendra said the same in 2002 when he was slightly worried instead of being happy at success of Ekta Kapoor and used exact words saying it would be difficult to get Ekta married or find a groom who can match level of her success and power.

Success of women often becomes a disadvantage for them as men and their families do not prefer to marry such highly accomplished women. And if they do marry such women, the woman is slowly expected to give up her work or downplay her achievements and status with time or behave 'as per expected norms for a wife and DIL' at home and not let anyone feel she has been an achiever or icon.

And if women do not conform they usually begin to live separately or in open marriages as husbands look other way. Hema is one example as she did not give up working after marriage and kids as Dharam wanted her to. She lives separately in Mumbai while Dharam lives with first wife and kids and often spends lot more time at Punjab, his ancestral home.

Meenakshi totally left her work, showbiz and country itself. Sridevi also quit work. Madhuri took a break but behaves normal at home as her husband himself says at home she is so normal that no one can believe she has been such a huge star. Vyjanthimala left work.

Deepika, Anushka are still working but it is yet to be seen how long they are able to work. They luckily have supportive spouses.

Highly accomplished women mostly have to settle for less as men equally or more accomplished than them do not prefer marrying them anyway and seek a more ordinary, docile, less accomplished girl to marry and stay home.

I agree with you bout sexist mindsets of high achieving men. But the reverse is also true, right? We always expect women to marry someone 'above' them. Why?

If higher men don't mind marrying lesser women, why should higher women not marry lesser men? It's good in a way--both sides are equal. Higher men+lesser women and higher women+lesser men.

There is no rule that both spouses should be high flying. In fact, it creates more problems in a marriage.

In fact, look at the way you worded your post. You said, "Higher men PREFER to marry down, but higher women are FORCED TO marry down." Why? Who decides that all women should want to marry someone 'higher' than them?

"Women should always marry someone higher than they are. If they don't, they are so unfortunate"---This mindset is also sexist. Why should women always have a spouse who is more successful than them? Why can't women earning more than husbands be seen as normal? Why is it 'unfortunate'? Do we call men unfortunate when they have less earning or no earning wives? Then shouldn't the same apply to women?

When higher men marry lesser women, it is 'choice'. But when women marry lesser men, it is 'settling'? Isn't it sexist to think women should not marry men who earn less then them?

Nobody is 'settling'. This is the 21st century and women are allowed to have lesser earning husbands. In fact, this is required for women empowerment. We need to shed the mindset that 'woman should always have husbands bigger than them'.. This is an outdated mindset. Wife can also be bigger than husband. This should be normalized.

Sorry. Men consciously make that choice to marry a woman less in age, education, earnings, stature than them and in-laws also prefer such women as they feel she will be easier to control and more obedient as DIL and wife.

Whereas women are mostly left with less or no choice when they fail to get grooms equal to them in all departments. Let alone better than them.

No one is saying women should always marry up. But they can marry their equal at least and feel no need to downplay their status when they are getting married or leave their work or reduce their public appearances later. Most super successful women feel pressure to be extra normal, caring at home or downplay their status and accomplishments and not let anyone in family feel like they are iconic or stars.

Indra Nooyi also wrote how she was expected to be like any ordinary daughter, housewife, mom at home and her family did not bother if she had become a CEO and they would casually ask her to cook or bring milk, get tea etc even if she had to go for a meeting or wanted to share what had happened at work or got an award or promotion.

I wish things were as ideal in real life as you wrote. But it is not so. Atleast not in our society in this part of the world.

Infact the very point 'equally successful spouses creates more problems in marriage' shows what the issue is.

Why can't both be doing well for themselves? Why one needs to be less accomplished, less good looking, less skilled, less aged, less experienced than the other?

If you need someone to be 'less' than you to manage better then it is more of an ego issue than any argument with merit.

Anyway I have seen highly successful and gorgeous women downplay their stature post marriage to less good looking and less accomplished men. But I have never seen men downplay their status or give up their work after marriage to wife less good looking and less accomplished than them. That is because only women are supposed to compromise or adjust for ego massage of husbands and in-laws. There is no such obligation, pressure or expectation from men as husbands. And men are not answerable to their in laws the way women are. Women have to downplay their status or appear 'normal' to calm down their in laws if not husband, as someone or the other keeps getting insecure of the woman's success and stature.

It may be 21st century but mindset of society w.r.t. women as wives and DILs has not changed. They even dislike woman who is same age as man or speaks her mind and is vocal. They are intimidated by a successful, famous, high earning woman who is also beautiful. Most men and in laws seek a simple, younger, less educated, less accomplished girl who can be controlled easily. This is why in such societies women do have to settle for whatever they get and man being decent, not an abuser is an added bonus.

So far I have only seen Madhuri whose husband does not stop her from working nor made her give up everything from her star/celeb life after marriage and does not meddle in her choice of scripts. Anushka is another one whose husband Virat does not restrict her. Though Anushka is not as successful and iconic/popular as Virat anyway and Kohli has no reason to be insecure of her.

These articles about some member of Vicky's family not approving of her or the way the wedding will be celebrated, say a lot about typical sexist society we have. Let's see if Katrina will be still around after marriage or disappear, downplay her status. Though her USP was her looks and dance and not acting talent anyway so I do not know how long she can manage to stay relevant.

If he was not a such a good actor,..just an ordinary one-with a few hits ,fans would not have been this happy for Katrina.

Both are actors and in the same industry..He has overshadowed popular stars in tailor made films made for them.That includes manmarziyaan.That is an ACHIEVEMENT👏

He is young,has the height,the look and the talent to perhaps have an even more satisfying career than her.he has avery bright future.The best in the industrywork and want to work with him

Actresses know when they spot someone special..DP started dating RS from before Ram Leela released.She knew.Haters mocked...Well I knew.I was their ONLY supporter then before RS fans joined the forum.I have the receipts.

I believe that Anu,DP,Kat,Sonam,PC have all found the partners they wanted.Showbiz is cruel to celebs.That is the price they pay for fame.

In a few days ,we will get pics of celebrity arrivals for the wedding..and all the misgivings will be forgotten.

40K views on the shaadi thread ,without any real news.

Expect threads of lakhs and lakhs views next week

Originally posted by: atominis

Sorry. Men consciously make that choice to marry a woman less in age, education, earnings, stature than them and in-laws also prefer such women as they feel she will be easier to control and more obedient as DIL and wife.

Whereas women are mostly left with less or no choice when they fail to get grooms equal to them in all departments. Let alone better than them.

No one is saying women should always marry up. But they can marry their equal at least and feel no need to downplay their status when they are getting married or leave their work or reduce their public appearances later. Most super successful women feel pressure to be extra normal, caring at home or downplay their status and accomplishments and not let anyone in family feel like they are iconic or stars.

Indra Nooyi also wrote how she was expected to be like any ordinary daughter, housewife, mom at home and her family did not bother if she had become a CEO and they would casually ask her to cook or bring milk, get tea etc even if she had to go for a meeting or wanted to share what had happened at work or got an award or promotion.

I wish things were as ideal in real life as you wrote. But it is not so. Atleast not in our society in this part of the world.

Infact the very point 'equally successful spouses creates more problems in marriage' shows what the issue is.

Why can't both be doing well for themselves? Why one needs to be less accomplished, less good looking, less skilled, less aged, less experienced than the other?

If you need someone to be 'less' than you to manage better then it is more of an ego issue than any argument with merit.

Anyway I have seen highly successful and gorgeous women downplay their stature post marriage to less good looking and less accomplished men. But I have never seen men downplay their status or give up their work after marriage to wife less good looking and less accomplished than them. That is because only women are supposed to compromise or adjust for ego massage of husbands and in-laws. There is no such obligation, pressure or expectation from men as husbands. And men are not answerable to their in laws the way women are. Women have to downplay their status or appear 'normal' to calm down their in laws if not husband, as someone or the other keeps getting insecure of the woman's success and stature.

It may be 21st century but mindset of society w.r.t. women as wives and DILs has not changed. They even dislike woman who is same age as man or speaks her mind and is vocal. They are intimidated by a successful, famous, high earning woman who is also beautiful. Most men and in laws seek a simple, younger, less educated, less accomplished girl who can be controlled easily. This is why in such societies women do have to settle for whatever they get and man being decent, not an abuser is an added bonus.

So far I have only seen Madhuri whose husband does not stop her from working nor made her give up everything from her star/celeb life after marriage and does not meddle in her choice of scripts. Anushka is another one whose husband Virat does not restrict her. Though Anushka is not as successful and iconic/popular as Virat anyway and Kohli has no reason to be insecure of her.

These articles about some member of Vicky's family not approving of her or the way the wedding will be celebrated, say a lot about typical sexist society we have. Let's see if Katrina will be still around after marriage or disappear, downplay her status. Though her USP was her looks and dance and not acting talent anyway so I do not know how long she can manage to stay relevant.

But a woman like Katrina will never marry out of 'compulsion' since she's not a desi woman with a desi mindset. She'll not marry someone if she's not sure or doesn't like him. Western women don't marry out of social pressure. This alone is enough to prove that your assumption is an erroneous one.

Also, like you said, life is not ideal. Often it creates problems in marriage if both spouses are in highly demanding careers with no time to spare at home. This depends a lot on the type of careers they're in. It helps if one is working more and the other is spending more time at home and managing the household. Yes, it sucks that it's only the women who are asked to stay home. It should go both ways. Which is why it's good if high achieving women marry less successful men. It's good for her and the man. She can have both career and a great married life.

This is what I'm saying. Less achiever does not always been bad person or bad life partner. Ultimately you need peace at home. With a less earning husband, a woman can concentrate on her career without constantly feeling pressured for her domestic duties. Isn't that great?

Life is not a zero sum game. Not everything can always be equal equal. There has to be a balance. Even men are forced to marry down because they will be insecure and unhappy of an equal woman. They are also 'forced' if you see that way. 😆

We cannot assume that Katrina is being 'forced to settle', she's not an Indian woman with Indian mindset. Besides, Vicky isn't an extra. He's an upcoming star. He may be lesser than Katrina as of yet, but he's still a STAR dude. It's not like Katrina is marrying an extra or a spotboy. Vicky's one of the hottest upcoming young stars of this generation.

Sonam and Anushka married men who were way more accomplished, wealthier than them. Sonam's husband is a billionaire with huge properties in India and abroad. Anushka's husband is THE Virat Kohli who is way more popular and iconic than her.

I found their mention odd since Sonam and Anushka are not out of Virat and Anand's league. While the topic is about marrying a guy who is not really comparable to Kat.

RS has become top male superstar anyway. So RS-DP mentions do not seem relevant to me as he may not be comparable to DP in looks and lineage but in career he began to do really well.

I do agree Vicky is a good actor, has potential and is not down and out or surviving only due to family name unlike others who got trophy wives they did not deserve.

Good luck to him and Kat.

I find it amusing that you call it compulsion for men to marry lesser educated, less good looking, less successful, less tall women as them as 'they may be unhappy or it may hurt their ego'. Lulz.

That is not compulsion but their own ego and pettiness, inability to digest a woman who outshines them in any aspect.

As for Katrina, she may be a western woman but she lives here no? And her choices were narrowing with time as per her age and all those rumours about her background or past. So in a way, she does not have as much freedom of selection and choice at her disposal anymore. Her surgeries also reflect her growing insecurities.

I am surprised you posted about equality in one post but now say everything cannot be equal equal in life.

That seems contradictory.

Nobody is saying Vicky is a bad guy or jobless flop struggler. Just that Kat is indeed out of his league and he may himself not have dreamt of getting a wife like her who is as popular, famous, good looking, successful, accomplished as her.

I responded as per title of the topic and OP. Otherwise no one said Vicky is a bad guy or a loser. Just that his marrying someone like Shraddha seems believable but his being able to get someone like Kat is a big, unexpected deal for him.

Whether Kat has a great career and married life- both, is her choice, her life and yet to be seen. I am not making value judgements on her future. I wrote a general comment in response to other posts on pattern of women being made to downplay their success, influence and status after marriage to less successful men or made to give up work altogether.

It will be great if Kat does not have to downplay her stature and take a backseat after marriage and I hope her in laws and husband have no issues with her success or fame and it creates no ego issues. I wish them best of luck.

The comment about men being 'forced' was in a comical vein. 😆 Anyway, you misunderstood my point on equality. I meant, it is equal if both high achieving men and women were getting the opportunity to shine and lead great lives by marrying less achiever spouses. That is equality for me.

At the same time, when you look within a marriage, one spouse has to sacrifice more to make the marriage work. It's a harsh reality. Not everything can be ideal in a marriage. You cannot always expect husband and wife to be equal in every single way everywhere. That mostly doesn't happen.

So, in order to maintain balance and equality in society, higher men should marry lesser women, and higher women should marry lesser men. That makes men and women equal in the society as a whole.

That way all the parties are happy and nobody has to deal with unnecessary ego tussles and the challenges of balancing work and life.

As for playing down your star status, look at Kareena and Deepika. Do they downplay their star status after marriage? Does Sonam? NO. So this 'downplaying this status' is a thing of the past. Especially Kareena and Sonam who married less successful/less known spouses. Saif was always a smaller star than Kareena. Sonam's husband is nobody famous. Deepika was famous much before Ranveer, she never downplayed her star status when she was dating him and he was only an upcoming star.

Originally posted by: Galouti

Yeh toh khushi ki baat hui na? I would've thrown party if the person I don't like would've married someone "poor and ugly".

The very fact that one needs to ask this Q, is wholly ridiculous. In every way, Katrina is far above Vicky’s league. Am sure he’ll catch up to her, in fact surpass her b/c she’s a totally mediocre actor at best, and he’s a seriously talented one, but as of now, she’s very much out of Vicky’s league. There’s no denying that or being blind to that at all.

Originally posted by: Mahisa_22

The comment about men being 'forced' was in a comical vein. 😆 Anyway, you misunderstood my point on equality. I meant, it is equal if both high achieving men and women were getting the opportunity to shine and lead great lives by marrying less achiever spouses. That is equality for me.

At the same time, when you look within a marriage, one spouse has to sacrifice more to make the marriage work. It's a harsh reality. Not everything can be ideal in a marriage. You cannot always expect husband and wife to be equal in every single way everywhere. That mostly doesn't happen.

So, in order to maintain balance and equality in society, higher men should marry lesser women, and higher women should marry lesser men. That makes men and women equal in the society as a whole.

That way all the parties are happy and nobody has to deal with unnecessary ego tussles and the challenges of balancing work and life.

As for playing down your star status, look at Kareena and Deepika. Do they downplay their star status after marriage? Does Sonam? NO. So this 'downplaying this status' is a thing of the past. Especially Kareena and Sonam who married less successful/less known spouses. Saif was always a smaller star than Kareena. Sonam's husband is nobody famous. Deepika was famous much before Ranveer, she never downplayed her star status when she was dating him and he was only an upcoming star.

agreed to all this except while Sonam’s husband isn’t anyone famous, he’s an achiever in his own right & thank God for Sonam, comes from a very well-to-do business family 😆 They’re on the same level I would say, only depends on what you hold dear/ hold to be of more value- Fame or money. As for Kareena, she married into a big royal family with big stars- So again, tomato, to-mah-to.