Karan Affairs: Dear Trolls, You Don't Get Me, Never Will

goatian thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#1

Karan Johar

While most people have alarm clocks, I get to wake up every morning to "gay ma*****od, good morning".

It is, I grant you, not the usual, but there it is.

I was one of the first early Twitter users from the film fraternity. And back then in 2009, I thought I was going to enter a world where people liked me, knew me, knew my work - it was going to be fine! All about the love, not the hate. And it was. At first.

But then started the phase where I began to wake up to "gay ma*****od, good morning". Every morning. Or just "hi gay". I am routinely called "chakka". Every so often, I'm told I'm a transsexual/transvestite/sister-shagging homosexual, which is actually, if you think about it, a contradiction in terms.

And I've tried to figure out what's behind the nonstop trolling. I've discussed it with friends, family, even my therapist. Why is it that every time I put up a pouting picture on Instagram, I'm just called chakka, gay, I'm told "chup kar ch***ye? That's my favourite, by the way. My absolute favourite. Anything I ever say, these three golden words are thrown at me.

So I'm back at my therapist asking what is it about me that makes people abuse me. I understand I'm not the most masculine human being, I'm not the most macho stud walking the block, and I also understand (even if I think it's ridiculous) that if you're seen as a little effeminate, you're made fun of. And I know I can be sometimes, especially when I dance. (When I dance I forget what happens to my hands and feet, and it's a bit of a problem. You see, while in my heart I feel I'm matching Vyjayanthimala and Hema Malini step for step, I also know I'm coming across as a strange caricature of a Hindi film heroine. On acid.) Then there's the fact that I pout and I can't help it because I want to suck in my cheekbones, and then my lips protrude (and I do have kind of luscious lips), and there I am, and I can never smile for a picture again. If I did have a six-pack to show and a great waistline to put out there to the universe or beautiful muscular legs, then I would not have to pout. The only thing I have going for me is a jawline. And dammit, I will use it! And so, ok, when I do, my eyes on their own sort shift to a half-lidded, Blue Steel type stare, but well, it goes so well with the pout. Of course now I've reached a point where I no longer know how to smile for a camera. It has become a disorder: I call it poutitus. (Maybe medical science could call me since I'm so good with the diagnosis?) And since I am so afflicted, I clearly deserve the trolling I get daily.
Only, of course not.

I realise that I'm kind of everywhere: I'm judging a reality show, then I'm dancing on it (which I really need to rethink); I'm hosting a talk show; I'm directing movies; I'm producing movies; I'm writing. So is it my over-accessibility, my sometimes unjustified affability, and my constant availability - the reasons I am so regularly trolled?

No, of course, it's not. As the famous line goes, I do know it's not me, it's them.

I went through the stages, the three emotions: anger to indifference to high levels of amusement. At this stage, frankly, I'm almost excited to be trolled, or I would be were it just about the trollers and their sad little minds.

By the way - it's not like I consider being called gay an abuse or a bad word (though I am intrigued - endlessly - by the equally endless obsession with my sex life. Or, umm, lack thereof).

What gets my goat is the misogyny therein, the sexism that's so rampant. The ability to hurt and wound.

Take Anushka Sharma, what did she have to do with a lost match?

There's a particular brand of pervert just looking to hate, and they're often drowning us out in the din.

My therapist says I should write it out, so Dear Troller, here's what am I saying to you:

You're probably as unattractive as you seem to think me. You probably hate my selfies, because you don't love what you see in your's. You obviously have no job! And your solution to life's frustrations is to take it out on me (and a few unlucky others). And now that we have the pleasantries out of the way, I want to tell you that you don't actually disturb me any more. What would disturb me was if I allowed you the smallest amount of influence over my life.

"Good morning, gay m********" is now my wake-up call. I used to wake to a more standard, let's call it sun salutation, but now there's something new and I am getting used to it.

And so even though you don't deserve it, I'm going to share this with you: I do realise that famous people are the most annoying to those who aren't.

What you don't realise is that with a certain level of fame and celebrity come deep levels of insecurity and anxiety which none of you accounts for. Everyone thinks I land in a chopper on top of my building and I have the most cushy existence. Could you understand that I might have the most messed up life myself? That I am probably in bed lonely most nights, sometimes even crying myself to sleep. I acknowledge that I am materially privileged, but I am not emotionally privileged. There are reasons for me to be lonely and sad on most days and I am probably as sad as you, the troller.

The difference is I energize myself and my surroundings with a certain amount of positivity and optimism, and all you do is hate.

I maybe as sad as you, as lonely as you, as messed up as you, but here's what I also know: I'm just a lot nicer than you.
Edited by --hhh-- - 9 years ago

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923901 thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#2
Kinda feel sad for this lad.
Amount of homophobic comments he faces daily. It's kinda sad that it's mostly from the fans of many superstars (basically all fan clubs) as I've seen it myself. It's become rather disgusting and at same time annoying. Calling someone gay repetitively makes you or your sexuality more superior? How?BTW, bravo Kjo👏
Edited by SunSaathiya - 9 years ago
Novarieaa thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#3
KJo wrote this?

A great write up. Some people actually think it's okay to say hurtful words to stars/celebs because they're public figures. they feel as if they've got some kind of right to insult & abuse them. This is a sad mentality. And I'm afraid there's a lot of people out there who vent their daily life frustrations hating on celebs online.

And bang on about homophobia and misogyny.


Edited by Lilac_N_Maple - 9 years ago
hotchic thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#4
Bravo. It always takes a lot of courage that anyone can't imagine, to open up about your deepest fears, insecurities before the world.👏
Trollers need to get a life. High time.
Edited by hotchic - 9 years ago
dingle thumbnail
19th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#5
Team KJo. Noone deserves to be abused online unless theyre a bigot or criminal

Good on him for writing this... made me smile.
Mallika-E-Bhais thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#6
Call him "gay, "sister sagging homosexual", "nepotism practicing asshole" and a few might be right too, but there is in KJo, a certain great sense of humour , a certain vulnerability & a deep sort of loneliness that I see, acknowledge & connect to. Maybe that is, what unbeknownst to them, is what these trolls connect to, too.


Always liked this man heaps for the numerous faces he presents to us. Love this article, TFS.
Sanely_Insane thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#7
When I read the title, I thought this was about KSG. 😆
Tinah thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#8
I don't judge people by whether or not they are straight or gay, but I do judge them based on their character. If Karan is anything like the guy he is on Koffee with Karan, instigating fights or lighting fire between actors for his own satisfaction, then sorry, he's not as nice as he claims to be. Let's not forget the fact that he himself makes fun of gay people in his films...you want respect, earn it!
Edited by Tinah - 9 years ago
Mallika-E-Bhais thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#9

Originally posted by: Sanely_Insane

When I read the title, I thought this was about KSG. 😆



Me too 😆 and I looove your DP!! Jamesie. ❤️
Meeti-Mirchi thumbnail
9th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 9 years ago
#10


When you read him, he comes across as a nice, gentle lamb - it's when you see and hear him, that snootiness rips through the frame - maybe ...it's my sad, lonely , grief stricken, pathetic soul that sees it ...

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