DDLJ recap

Meet Raj: rich-brat, prankster, the only student to fail out of college

Meet Simran: conservative, pragmatic, just found out she's getting an arranged marriage

Her super scarydouche dad presses her to marry. She agrees " but only if her dad will allow her one last huzzah: a month-long vacay in Europe with her friends

Convinced that there won't be any harm, he agrees. And she's off! Almost missing the train until ...

Voila! Our beloved hero and heroine meet, and the violins play, as he helps her get onto the train before it departs

Raj basically annoys the hell out of Simran for ... pretty much the entire trip

He flirts, teases, and brags. She finally has enough of his arrogance and makes him perform (hint hint: song & dance number coming up) in front of a crowd in Paris.

Instead of failing, he wows the crowd & brings the roof down!

Simran is not happy and does her best to avoid him. But the next day, due to Raj's antics, they both end up missing the train

Much to Simran's delight, Raj follows her all around town

Stranded in a foreign country, they both strike a compromise

They find a place to stay for the night. But wait! There's only 1 room with 1 bed

This doesn't fly with Simran. She will not share a room with Raj and runs off to sleep in a barn, where it's cold and freezing

Raj feels bad for her when he sees her shivering. He slyly offers her some beer to warm her up, totally not expecting her to take him up on it.

But she gives in, leading to a whole night of this goodness:

The morning after, Simran wakes up in the hotel room, not remembering what happened the night before.

Simran - naturally - freaks out and starts bawling, until Raj calms her down & tells her he was joking.

By now the fuzzies are forming. Raj & Simran chat and are getting friendly without bickering

Forming a tentative friendship, Raj & Simran finally manage to make their way to the right train station, where Raj has something to say

You can't deny the fuzzies, Raj!

They get on the train and finally return to their hometown, in London

With a little mysterious smirk, he leaves

Since the last time we met Rahul and Anjali Raj and Simran ...

They part at the train station, where Raj isn't too happy that Simran is engaged to someone else

Raj tries to move on

But he hits a roadblock - in the form of an abusive dream-sequence!

An abusive dream sequence is kinda like a nightmare, except cuter and with hideous costumes

On her way home, Simran gets the same dream, realizing that Raj is just too irresistible

Especially when he looks like this:

So Simran loves Raj. Raj loves Simran. They live happily ever after!

Pshh ... we're still at the 2 hour mark. It's far from over

Upon discovering Simran's affair, her dad decides to hasten her marriage

Poor Raj finds Simran's house too late - she's already been kidnapped left

He's about to give up .. But then! He spots the cowbell she bought in Switzerland, on her door, and realizes that she does love him back!

So he decides to chase after her all the way to India

After all, how can he resist this?

Far away in India, Simran is forced into her relatives' home

There a new boy appears

Meet Village Idiot: Simran's fiance, wanna-be mob boss, and total douchebag

Sick of Village Idiot, Simran leaves the house for a bit & look who turns up!

Raj appears in the middle of a flowery field ... only in bollywood

They reunite & get the love-fest on

Raj devises a plan to get into Simran's house

Once he's in, Raj works his charm on everyone - starting with Simran's dad

Her relatives

And even her lil sister

Poor Raj. All that effort, still no action

But he's no quitter. During engagement festivities, he openly flirts with Simran

It raises a few suspicions

But everyone just brushes it off

So Raj and Simran happily sneak off to feed each other

Little do they know " they've been caught!

Simran's mom spots them & encourages them to run away and be happy

But secrets never stay hidden. Soon enough, Simran's dad discovers their affair

And he gets his 2-step anger face on

Step 1:

Step 2:

Simran steps in to protect her man

But her dad isn't budging

Instead of arguing, Raj basically admits the affair then ditches Simran

Raj decides to be the bigger man, and leaves, to guilt-trip Simran's dad

But not before getting attacked by Village Idiot & his henchmen. Simran's dad breaks up the fight, and tells Raj to get lost

The guilt-trip's starting to take effect, but Simran's dad still isn't relenting

He tells her to go after Raj, right when the train is leaving " such a tease!

So Simran makes a run for it

At the last moment, she makes it!

Really, what else did you expect " tripping and face-planting on the platform?

They get together and live happily ever after ... with lil unibrow babies!

THE END