Ayan :I feel extremely jealous when Ranbir..

Written By Anuradha ChoudharyPosted Mon, Aug 12, 2013

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Had this film not worked, it would have made me feel lost. I'd have felt that I couldn't connect with India. With my first film Wake Up Sid (WUS) I was led on to the Bollywood bus, even though I was just about hanging onto it. There were times when I thought I would have to get off the bus. Now I believe I have a seat in the bus. My film has received acceptance. I have taken a step closer to popular entertainment. I find myself less pretentious as a person. I made WUS with equal honesty but there's a degree of cleverness there. With YJHD, it was a fuller expression.

Absolutely! Even with WUS I was hoping for a big box-office. I knew the film was off the cuff but it was a warm film. People did love it, I received many messages. But we didn't get the numbers I thought we would. Maybe I didn't know the business well enough. People were happy to watch it on DVD or television. This time I wanted to make a larger-than-life film, where the songs entice you and the look of the film is like a five-star lobby. I also tried to retain some philosophy in my writing. There was no external conflict in the film like parents objecting to the couples' romance. There was an internal conflict that kept the characters' apart from each other. The philosophy came from a personal space.

WUS is a better film than YJHD but if you ask me which film I'm more proud of, I would say YJHD. People find the tone of WUS more delicate. But I am more proud of YJHD because I think the film is deeper. The life span of the characters was much harder to understand. I found it difficult to express myself in this film than I did in my first film. In YJHD I struggled a lot more with everything, from the commercial aspect, to the music and also with the philosophy of the film. So, I was proud that I could manage to bring it all under one roof. There has been criticism. It has come more from the so-called English speaking intellectual world. And it hurts. I want to tell myself don't read a review because it doesn't matter. As for the critics who haven't liked the film, I may not agree with the manner they reviewed the film. I might feel they didn't see it in the correct context. I might feel if they could just allow themselves to watch the film perhaps they would see the things that are packed into it. But still I'm absorbing everybody's criticism. And I hope that with my next film, they will be more convinced.

No one remembers the box-office collections more than the person who made the film. WUS was a film with average reviews. If you compare the reviews of both the films, you'll see that they have the same review ratings. WUS reviews said that it's a nice film, a breath of fresh air but not unconventional. It follows in the tradition of Dil Chahta Hai and others before it. Even YJHD's reviews are in a similar zone. YJHD is a much bigger film and in your face. With WUS the criticism felt mild but when it comes to a big film, the bite is sharper. I know the grass is not greener on the other side, its green on this side where I'm now. In fact, it's so green that I'm worried I'll get too intoxicated by it.

I never finished writing this film. We assume the film has worked so this is how the film was intended to be made. Frankly, Karan (Johar, producer) is the only reason why this film has done well. I did not have the script in place and however much you may want to support a Ranbir Kapoor film, the kind of process it involved, I don't think anyone would have had the courage to support it. I am indebted to Karan for this. He allowed the film to keep growing. YJHD was not built around a story or a character. It was built around a philosophy. It's about deep happiness, which people feel in rare moments. Feelings like being at your closest friend's marriage or sleeping with someone you love or when you have a good time with your parents. I wanted to take those feelings and wrap it up in a film. But I didn't want to sound as if I was giving gyaan. So it was a hard script to write.

The truth is that I first approached Deepika Padukone. I'd met her for dinner and told her I was writing a film and that she'd be apt for the role. But yes, there was a time after that when I was interested in Katrina. I saw something in her. There were several other actresses we met too. All of them are my friends. So I discussed my film with a bunch of women. The stars were shinning on me when Deepika agreed because of all the people in the film, her contribution and commitment was the deepest. She holds her own against Ranbir. People fell in love with Shah Rukh Khan in Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge because of Kajol, because of the way she falls in love with him. It's the same with Ranbir. You love him because of Deepika.

I do feel a little like Karan's blue-eyed boy. I want to wear that spot with full pride. There's a sense of affection and confidence I believe he has in me. I wouldn't have been a 23-year-old writing a script, if Karan had not told me, 'Ayan you can write'. Karan is intelligent and has an understanding of the different directors who work for him. He allows me to work in my style not because he's affectionate towards me but because he realises that this boy can make a good film.

Maybe some of my people skills are similar to Karan's. But he has a better heart than I do. If you have a problem Karan will be there to sort it. He's a nice guy. I'm not so nice. I am a haraami at heart. I am much more selfish than he is. I'm not overtly sentimental.

My friendship with Ranbir is extremely strong. We don't chat every day. I can ask him for anything as easily I'd ask my parents. Over the years, you see friendships souring in our industry. I hope that's not the case with Ranbir and me. I hope we've established a friendship for life. He's my only best friend, he's the only person who knows exactly what's happening with me and I know what's happening with him. There's a great assurance in that feeling. It's a great connection. I'm proud of him. His success is my success. I'm anxious every time he has a release. I feel extremely jealous when he works with other directors. I feel he should only work with me. The one thing that makes me happy about YJHD is that he and I didn't make a flop product.

(Laughs) The story of my childhood is more complex than any movie ever made. My mother (Amrit Mukerji) is and was a strong and independent woman. She came from Delhi in the '50s to make her life. She didn't come from a sophisticated background. She belonged to a 'no money' and completely Hindi background. But for that, she lived a progressive life. She was married once before and had three children. Then she met my father, she had a divorce and married him. My half brother committed suicide. That's my mother's side of the story. My generation doesn't know my grandfather S Mukerji (legendary filmmaker) well. Whenever I meet anyone from the older generation like Rishi Kapoor and Javed Akhtar, they recall him as a central figure in the industry. We were one of those big film khandaans, which fell on bad days. I've cousins who have done exceptionally well, like Kajol. But I also have many cousins who didn't do well. A shadow of failure had fallen on my father's side of the family. There were lovely, happy guys but they weren't successful.

I believe my background is a gift. It allowed me to develop an individuality. Fact is that life need not follow only one way. It's like what Ranbir says in the film, you study at a certain age, work at a certain age, marry at a certain age. I believe I'm free from such restrictions. I'm so happy for my twisted family background. When the time is right; stories will come out about my father's background, my mother's background and mine.