How did you get to name your younger son Dharam? My father shifted to our Juhu home when I was born. He named his four kids Sunny, Lali, Anu and Bobby. So, I had thought if I got married and had kids, I would have four and name them that, as the names were unisex. I have only two boys as my wife is from the next generation. When Aryaman was born, I wanted to name him after my father, but everyone was uncomfortable with the idea of calling him by my father's name. Then, when I had my second son, I said, 'You know what, no one calls papa by his name anyway.' So, we named our second son Dharam. And I have no pet names for him, as I hated the idea of pet names. My pet name is Bobby and the real name Vijay is on documents like on my passport. So, it's really confusing. If an Indian is the immigration officer, I have to keep telling him, '
Main hi hoon yaar Vijay Singh Deol' (Singh as they are Aryasamaji Sikhs). Likewise, Sunny's name is Ajay Singh Deol. Abhay had the cutest dimples as a child and thus, his pet name was Dimpy, but he uses his real name otherwise.
How did you cope with living in a traditional family, being a modern child? I used to be a rebel. Until I was 17, I wanted to party and was not allowed to go out. In school, my deadline was 6 that got extended to 9 in college. I couldn't understand why. I wanted to party and do the regular stupid boy things and would sneak out at night. Abhay and I shared a room. Once when I was back, I looked at Abhay sleeping next to me and realized that even he had snuck out. My mom always told me I was a bad influence on him. But, as you grow older, you realize that every parent has their insecurity about their child, and you realize that only after you have your own kids. The pain that you thought you got while growing up, becomes all love of your parents towards you. It happened to me as soon as my first son was born. He was unwell and in the ICU for a week. It's then, when I saw my parents and family, I got my strength. All the hardships and pain your parents go through to bring you up just hits you.
Let's talk about your father... I worship my parents. I was studying in Jamnabai Narsee School and when I was in Class VI, Billa and Ranga kidnapped my best friend Manish Parekh. He was the only child who had survived their kidnapping. So, he came back home and narrated how he had been harassed. The cops came to our home to warn us to also be careful. That's it. Manish was eventually allowed to go out, but my parents just became more rigid about not letting me go. But, I enjoyed my childhood, which kids today don't get to enjoy as the world around them has become so fast. The internet has ruined them and they look at things much before their parents can get a chance to explain it to them. I slept in my parents' room till the age of 14. But I was a big child, so soon I was thrown on to a
gadda. My father is my superman and is extremely protective about me. I have always believed that my father can take away difficulties and make things better. Even though we live in the same house, I may not see him for weeks, but I know that if he is there, everything will be fine. He always wants to look after everybody, not just his own family, but his extended family, and has settled everyone. He's a giver and is a people's person. He can be walking anywhere and even if people don't know him, they love him. He attracts people around him. It's not that we have not had arguments or not hurt each other, but he is my hero.
Let's talk about your mother... My mother is the strongest woman in my life. To be from a small town and be a part of the industry, which is about so much glam, where everything is in your face, your personal life is not your own and to not only cope with that, but be the strength of the house, look after every one and still be happy, is amazing. She was not even a proper adult when she got married. She is my strength. If I am low and need to talk to someone, I will call her. Though now, I don't, as I know she will get upset. I am so glad I am not a woman as I would not have been able to cope with it.
It's obvious that your brother Sunny loves you a lot... My brother is like a father to me. When I look at him with his sons, I tell his sons you are so lucky. I had to go through what they don't. He is quite lenient with them. He would not let me go out and he had no interest in going out himself. We became better friends when I grew up.
Are you still too protected? I am still a child and have been protected for too long. It's not good, as to face the world you cannot be so protected. That's why I am away from things as I am too honest about everything.
What is your wife Tanya like? It was love at first sight. I met her after my first film
Gupt, when I broke my leg falling off a horse and had to slow down. I was 27 then and never gambled ever, but that night, I tagged along with one of my friends to play cards on Diwali, as I had a handicap. She was there and I saw her. I chose to lose money to her and asked her out for dinner. I would have married her even earlier, but had to wait for five months to marry her as I had to wait for my operation to get over. She is really strong and has a lot of positiveness in her and has a never-give-up attitude. My wife tells me I am too soft and naive and too good for the world. And, yes, she would like me to be more of an adult.
How different are you with your sons vs how your father was with you? I try and spend a lot of time with them. My dad used to almost live out of the studios. He spent the most time with me as I was the youngest. I love watching soccer and F1 with my kids. We all live together and
bhaiya and me don't disturb our kids when all four of them are watching sports together. I always eat at home and love being in our joint family.
Bhaiya can't stay away from dealing with the outer world as he is my older brother and has chosen to be my second father. But I just don't belong to this period. I wish I was born 50 years ago, when things were far simpler.
What would Dharamji and Sunny's advice be to you? I have two fathers. And they both think that I am the best in the world and tell me, 'Why don't you let it out and show it to people?'
SRC 
Ye Hai Mohabbatein
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