Dealing with Predators like Rajiv - Page 3

Originally posted by: gbala9

Good post, and very good points.

It is often the so called harmless seeming types that can surprise you. Also another trait is they always tag themselves as 'friends', give loads of attention to gain trust, slowly start emotionally manipulating and before you know it make a move and the victim is left wondering if he/she is at fault or did they give wrong vibes.

Originally posted by: axeion

I think Sana is just in that stage of life where she loves the attention. Be it Vishal, Rajiv or Aashka, she's almost their first priority and she goes back to them always. Karishma on the other hand treated her equal, which did not go very well with Sana. I think both Sana and Rajiv are equally responsible for the fiasco this forum is talking about.

@TheBoss - Nice post, and I hope each one of us reading it implements it in their own lives (if not done already). It somewhere goes hand-in-hand with Hadey's post on where to draw lines in a relationship/friendship. As important as it is to say NO to the other person, I feel it is equally important to realize what we want out of that relationship/friendship.

Sana does like getting attention and flirts a lot, just like any young woman. She is not a bad person or wh**e as some people make her out to be. She just hasn't learned discretion in her flirting yet. One of the important things we learn as we mature is the difference between 'healthy' attention and 'unhealthy' attention. A little bit of flirting and teasing is harmless. Being touchy feely and cuddly with some friends can feel nice and be fun. Most good people know the limitations and don't push it. Unfortunately, there are some people out there who take flirting to mean more, who take advantage of closeness. Sana too will learn it to someday. I think we all do learn the hard way, it's the only way the lesson sinks.

Very well said. I feel the same about rajiv..no offence to anyone. I used to be neutral for him but he gives me creeps lately. I would have rather appreciated if he had confessed that he is falling for Sana and would want to date her or something outside the show like Santosh rather than hum acche dost hain blah blah..that is very much like a predator. Dil me kuch aur muah me kuch and also girl like Sana can be manipulated and exploited very easily. She is a nice girl but needs to learn to draw the line.

This is one of the best post. For what reason your post was blocked I don't know. From now on I should read your posts with some amount of attention. I used to read your posts just like any other posts.

Originally posted by: Petition

Back in university I had a friend who displayed all the signs.

Signs
- He was touchy and feely like Rajeev.
- He appeared harmless like Rajeev.
- He acted over smart with some people. He was a "doormat" with others.
- If you didn't speak to him then he tried to make you feel "guilty".
- If you tried to maintain your distance then he would abuse you.

In short he seemed harmless/the "go-to" guy/the trigger was his constant emotional blackmail + manipulation + touchy/feely habit.

I also remember the time when someone asked me out. He threatened the guy to stay away from me or else... He was furious with the other guy and he was furious with me. He was concerned as "a brother" (his words).

I never gave him any ghaas. He realized that none of his attempts were working on me and we stopped talking.

To be honest I never thought he was a predator until today. I found his behavior really strange, but he always appeared harmless that he never struck me as a predator. We have this false impression of predators as the macho guys when in fact it could be the harmless guy next door.

They tend to make us feel guilty. The tend to act like the victim. They tend to act like we are misunderstanding them. When we feel guilty they take advantage of us.

The problem with Sana is that she feels guilty very easily. He makes us her feel guilty. She is convinced "This is Rajeev. He is harmless. Bechara hai Rajeev itna bura nahin hai..He helps me out..." so she gives up and starts talking to him.