PrAja OS- Ehsaas... ~Curtain fall~ [Part 2- Page 5 ] - Page 4

Pratap and Ajabdeh headed together for Ajabdeh's room. Pratap was walking, a smile adorning his face on the past moments. Along with her sudden appearance in the night, and beauty in the moonlight, he was also relishing the look on her face. But then, whatever he had said was true. So, he was also in this air of smartness. He got out of this zone when Ajabdeh raised a question, that broke the vicinity of silence around the two of them.
"Suniye..." Ajabdeh called, and stopped walking.
Pratap jerked at the sudden speech. He turned his head in her direction.
"Kahiye..." said Pratap, in a casual yet warm tone.
"Vo...aapko kaise pata chala ki ham mahal se isi samay bhaag rahe the?" asked Ajabdeh, her eyes lowered with guilt but her mind looking for answers.
Ajabdeh's question seemed to fill a new spirit in Pratap. Very excitedly, he broke the peaceful solitude to answer her question, "Ab...kya karen Ajabdeh? Ham to aapko apne man me hi basa chuke hain. Aap kuch bhi sochti hain, to hame bhi badi saralta se pata chal jata hai" answered Pratap and continued looking at her, the same expression prevailing on her face as before. He smiled. Then turned, and started walking to her room again.
Pratap's reply pushed Ajabdeh in a zone of thinking where everything was just confusing her more. On seeing Pratap move from the spot to her room, she hurried to follow him.

On reaching Ajabdeh's room, Pratap opened the door for her and let her in first. Ajabdeh gave a smile and stepped inside. Even before Ajabdeh could say anything, Pratap joined his hands at the door, "Chalte hain" and he turned without receiving her reply.
"K.." Ajabdeh called behind him but, he had actually already left. She lowered her eyes to the floor in disappointment and turned away from the door, inside her room. Things were just buzzing in her head. One thing, and another, some demoralization, some hope, some fears, some promises, but the starkest thing revolving in her memories was Pratap and his actions and reactions in the past few minutes. The sudden collision under the moonlight, his looks, his words...
Ab kya kare Ajabdeh? Ham to aapko apne man me hi basa chuke hain...' Pratap's voice echoed in her head and heart. She started walking around her room, a tensed expression on her face.
...hamse door jaane ka aap kitna bhi prayaas kar le, kintu niyati aapko hamse door hone nahi degi...' the flashback followed.
"Arre...aisa kaise keh sakte hain Kunwar Pratap? Niyati ka hi to andha khel hai ye jo ham dono, ek doosre ko pasand karte hue bhi, ek nahi ho paa rahe. Niyati aur bhagy ne unke liye kisi aur ko chuna hai, hame nahi...ab ye baat...kaise samjhayen Kunwar Pratap ko? Ve to kisi ki bhi nahi sun rahe aaj-kal..." said Ajabdeh with disappointment, walking around her bed, talking to herself. The moment she finished her sentence, something came under her feet and the stumbled forward. Fortunately, she didn't fall.
What was this?' her mind asked her. She turned to look at this obstruction in her path. And there, she saw an open red scroll, lying face down on the floor. At the first sight Ajabdeh's eyebrows narrowed in suspicion. Then her expression eased and she bent down to pick it. Seemed like a letter. But what was a letter doing on the floor in her room? It should have been on her writing desk, with all the other letters. She flipped over the letter to see its sender's identity and its message.

"Priy sakhi Ajabdeh,
Kuch der ke liye ham swarthi ho gaye the. Hamari bhaawnao ne hame swarthy bana diya tha. Ham sada kehte the na, ki ham aapke jaise kabhi nahi ho sakte? Vivah us se karo, jo aapko pasand kare, us se nahi, jise aap pasand karo. Ab dekhiye na, ham to pasand karte hain Kunwar Pratap ko. Kitnu unhe, unhe to aap achchi lagti hain. Aur aap bhi unhe pasand karti hain.
Hame lagta hai ki aap dono hi ek doosre ke liye bane hain.
Sach Ajabdeh...
Yahi sach hai.
Phoolkanwar "

Ajabdeh's eyes widened with shock. Her mind was ramshackled. It stumbled and fumbled for explanations.
W...m..k..n...m..k...' she forced her blank mind to interpret this letter. But this stuttering, was all that her mind could come up with. Desperately, she wanted to know it, she wanted to know if her mind agreed with her conscience, but her mind wasn't helping her in the vain attempt. She had actually forgotten to look at the place where the answer was quite clear...in her heart...
A storm of flashbacks awaited her as she raised her eyes above from the letter. Lightening thundered the skies. Wind started blowing. The curtains in her room started flying, especially the ones on the balcony. She was drowning in a pool of memories, every single one of them telling her something else. Her face was utterly frightened. This flood of memories actually made her loose every sense..
Hame lagta hai ki aap dono hi ek doosre ke liye bane hain...'
Phool Kunwar Pratap se vivah karne ke liye kitni aatir hain ki ham aapko kya batayen...'
Rajput kehte hain aap swayam ko! Apne diye vachan ka bhi maan nahi rakh paye...' (Uma Devi rebuking her father when Bijolia broke the rishta with Toranmal)
Hamne kisi ko bhi aapse upar nahi rakha kyuki...kyuki hame aap achchi lagti hain Ajabdeh...'
Vivah us se karo, jo aapko pasand kare, us se nahi, jise aap pasand karo...'
Aap dono ke bhaagy me jo bhi pati hai, us se haste-khelte vivah kar rahi hain aap dono...'
hamse door jaane ka aap kitna bhi prayaas kar le, kintu niyati aapko hamse door hone nahi degi...'
Ham Toranmalji se vivah nahi kar sakte...' (When she had herself stood up against her marriage with Toranmal)
Chal kiya hai aapne hamare saath Ajabdeh..chal kiya hai!!...'
Hamne apni swikriti de di hai...'
Nahi maante ham aapki is jhooti swikriti ko...'
Ham aapke in...kya naam hai..Totamal..oh, kshama kijiye...Toranmal..ham inhe nikat se dekhna chahte hain...'
Kunwar Pratap ne aapke apharan ki yojna banai hai...'
Daan ka samaan to aur hota hai, ye to nishchit roop se shagun ka hi samaan hai...'
Jab hame apne vivah ka shubh samachar mila, prasannta ke mare paao nahi par rahe dharti par hamare...'
Wah Ajabdeh... Hamne aapko aise shringaar ke saath aaj tak nahi dekha...'
Ham sab yahi chahte the na ki Ajabdeh ka rishta barabari ke parivar me ho...samanth ka beta, aur samanth ki beti...'
Toranmal ji pehle se hi vivahik hain...'
Vo Toranmal ek jhoota hai...aur ham jaante hain aapko jhoot se kitni ghrina hai...'
Yahi meethepan aur bholepan ka aavradot banakar cheen liya aapne Kunwar Pratap ko...'
Hame koi aapatti nahi hai...'
Jise aap asambhav samajh rahi hain ve sambhav ho sakta hai...sangharsh karna parega aapko...'
Jodiyan banana vale ham aur aap kaun hote hain...jodiyan to swayam uparwale ke ghar se banker aati hain...'
Hame mil chuki hai vo...aur hamare saamne khadi hai...'
Aapke aur Kunwar Pratap ke beech itna kuch hota raha...aur aapne hame bhanak bhi nahi lagne di...'
Hamari dharti aapse aapki bhaawnao ka balidaan maang rahi hai...'
Yahan bhi Ajabdeh...aapko hamara hi balidan dikh raha hai? Aap bhi to balidaan de rahi hain Ajabdeh...'
Jab bhi hamari raahen adhipaty hui, sambandh bigde hain..rajaon ke beech, raajyon ke beech...'
Aap aayengi..hamare vivah me...'
Jald hi...tujhe ye teri khoyi hui mala kisi mehetvapoorn vastu, ya kisi vishesh vyakti se milane vali hai...'
Ham is mala ko bahut shubh, bahut mehetvpoorn maante hain..'
Ab chup-chap khadi kyu hai...Chaliye!...'
Jal aur doodh mil gaye, to unhe koi alag nahi kar sakta...vaise hi aap dono...'
Laxmi...chuniye...'
Aapka chehra...'
Aapki isi vivad ki aadat se..ve aapse peecha chudake bhaagega...'
Aapko Phoolkanwar se vivah karna parega..'
Kyuki Phool vo nahi..jise dekh kar ham sab kuch bhool saken...'
Hame lagta hai ki aapko bhoomigat ho jaana chahiye...vaise hi bahut samasyaen khadi kar chuki hain aap...'
Chup-chap apne saaman bandhiye aur Bijolia ke liye nikal jaaiye...'
Hansa massiji...hame bas ek baar Ajabdeh se milne dijiye...'
Kuch der ke liye ham swarthi ho gaye the. Hamari bhaawnao ne hame swarthy bana diya tha...'
Ham aapke jeevan ko aisi hi sugandh se bharna chahte hain...aapse vivah karke...'
Hamare hote hue aap kisi aur se vivah kaise kar sakti hain...'
Ab kya kare Ajabdeh? Ham to aapko apne man me hi basa chuke hain...'
Aapko Kunwar Pratap achche lagte hain...'

Shaken by this sudden flood of flashbacks, unable to think of anything, utterly lost, confused, perplexed, caught in the shackles of the past, Ajabdeh collapsed like a straw hut in a storm against a pillar, ahead of which was the balcony to her room. She herself was in no weaker a storm of flashbacks that made her feel vulnerable to the slightest of things. Unconsciously, she slid down against the pillar to the floor with helplessness. This sudden gust of emotions and memories, she was unable to handle and soon broke into sobs, tears streaming out of her eyes, the wind still blowing outside.
In no time, Pratap appeared on the entrance of the room with a plate of food in his hands, unaware of Ajabdeh's situation.
His eyes checking the plate of food, he called her, "Ajabdeh, aaiye bhojan kar..." but the moment they caught a glimpse of Ajabdeh's shattered form, they widened with horror and he froze in his tracks at the sight of Ajabdeh sitting lifelessly on the floor against the pillar, crying that bad. A sudden fear gripped him immediately. What happened to her?' his mind subconsciously asked. He quickly kept the plate of food on the table and rushed to her side.
The moment she heard Pratap's voice, she came back to the reality. The world of flashbacks she was lost in was giving her a hard time full of pangs of shock, loss, separation and struggle. In a hurry not to let anything out and trouble him, she quickly wiped her tears and stood up before Pratap reached her.
"Ajabdeh? Ajabdeh kya hua aapko? Aap...aap ro rahi thi?" asked a worried Pratap.
"Err...nahi. H..hamm ham kyu rone lage?" replied Ajabdeh trying to act casual, looking away from him in order to hide her teary and possibly red eyes.
"Hamse chupane ka prayas mat kijiye Ajabdeh. Aap bhali bhanti jaanti hain ki ham aapka asaty palak-jhapakte hi pakad lete hain. Kyu ro rahi thi aap, bataiye?" stated Pratap, determined to know every reason behind her every tear.
"Nahi, nahi...a...aisi koi baat nahi hai. Vo to bas ham..." Ajabdeh tried again to divert him from the topic, but he interrupted her.
"Ajabdeh..." he said with a fixing stare, keeping his hands on her shoulders and making her face him. "Kya hua hai?" he asked again, with a tone of calm inquisitiveness.
His last move seemed to have given her some strength. She dared to look up into his eyes. His eyes full of hope and warmth were enough to break her fragile wall of concealment and immediately, the dams of her eyes broke letting out a stream of fresh tears on her face which was already etched with tear tracks. With deep agony and constant sobs, she turned away and started spilling out whatever came to her mind.
"Kyu..." she cried, "Kyu ho raha hai ye sab hamare saath? Jo bhi marg chunte hain, usme hamesha koi na koi baadha aa jati hai. Apnon ke liye soche, to ve hamse mukh mor lete hain aur swayam ke liye soche, to na jaane kaise kuch aisa ho jaata hai jo hame galat thehra deta hai. Bachpan se..." she took a deep breath, "bachpan se hamne dada ke katu shabd sune...kitnu hamne kabhi koi aapatti nahi jatai. Na jaane kitni baar Phool ke dosh swayam par liye kintu kuch nahi kaha, jeevan ne kitni baar hamare samaksh kanton ka maarg rakha kintu bina kisi shikayat ke, sab swikar kiya. Aur phir, hamne aapko dekha. Ham bhi kitne murkh the jo hamara man aise swapn bunne laga jo kabhi poorn ho hi nahi sakte. Ham to apne man ki komal bhavnayen swayam tak rakhkar aapse matr maitri karna chahte jab Phool ne bataya ki ve aapko pasand karti hai. Ve hamari bachpan ki sakhi hain, unhone hame apnaya jab sansaar ne hame thukra diya tha. Unki ichchaon ka maan rakhne ke liye hamne apni ichchaen daba di. Aapko kitna kasht pahunchaya, swayam ko kitna kasht pahunchaya. Aur jab hamne apne hriday ko mana liya aapse door jaane ke liye, to ve kehti hain ki ham ek doosre ke liye bane hain? Jabki unki dadi hame unke vivah ke shagun ke bare me bata rahi thi. Koi kuch kehta hai to koi kuch aur. Hame kuch samajh nahi aa raha Kunwar Pratap, hame kuch samajh nahi aa raha..." her speech died away in tears. She turned to face him, still crying, her face buried in her hands and not really expecting anything.
He watched her in silence. He listened to everything she spoke. For a moment he felt proud for loving a girl who was so strong inside, a true Rajputani, and yet a very kind person, but at the same time, he felt the agony that she was feeling. His insides twisted in pain as he wondered how hard it must be for her to sacrifice so much for so long and yet, never be open to happiness. All of her pain, all that she had endured from the very beginning; everything was flowing out now in her endless tears. However, he maintained his calm. He could not lose his head and heart when Ajabdeh had already lost herself. He had to pull her out of this mess. Who would do that, other than him? He could not see her breaking right in front of her eyes; it was so painful, so very painful. Her pain affected him to the core and a single tear leaked out of his right eye as he witnessed Ajabdeh crying rivers without a pause. He quickly wiped it off; he had to keep composed himself to pull her back together.
He took a deep breath, and advanced towards her. She was continuously crying. When he was close enough, he softly yet clearly uttered...
"Ajabdeh..."
Ajabdeh looked up from her hands and raised her eyes to his face. The calm composure and silent determination that his visage showed was able to stop her sobs, but not her tears. As they flowed down every few seconds from her eyes, she didn't realise that Pratap's stare had engaged her so much that she had forgotten to even blink. Although whatever his face showed was true, but his eyes were far deeper, displaying a myriad of unsaid thoughts and emotions that he was going through, and trying to hide at the same time.
As seconds melted into minutes, both of them stayed still. Lost in each other's eyes, each second was equal to a lifetime as they felt peace and pain at the same time. Surroundings lay forgotten, and so did time; nothing could be heard. Even the storm outside had calmed into a breeze.
After a few minutes, Pratap broke the silence.
"Ajabdeh..." he spoke in the same still tone. It had a quality of silence, a visible calmness, and a deep felt pain that made everything else inaudible. He continued in the same voice, "...apne aansu pochiye. Ab ham aapse jo bhi prashn karenge, aap hame sach sach uska uttar dengi." There was command in his voice, but it was so soft that it felt more like a plea. Ajabdeh blinked; then quickly wiped off the tears from her face and looked back at him attentively.
"Apni aankhe band kijiye..." he said. With one last glance at his face, Ajabdeh slowly dropped her eyelids; breathing slowly but heavily. "Ab jab tak ham na kahe, apni aankhen mat kholiyega," he instructed her.
For a few moments, he kept looking at her face. In those past moments, it had certainly calmed down a bit; but the agony inside her was still visible. Steeling himself, he took a step closer towards her. He took another deep breath; and stretched out his right hand and placed it around Ajabdeh's waist. He pulled her frail figure closer to his taut frame, and held her in that position.
Ajabdeh jerked. Her eyes were still closed. Her breathing laboured. It felt so right. But was it right? Puzzled and afraid of her own doubts, she shuffled restlessly in his grip and spluttered out in a very scared tone, "K-K-Kunwar Pratp...y-ye kya kar rahe hain aap? A-a-gar koi...koi aa gaya to...? H-ham..." she shuddered but Pratap simply pulled her closer and tightened his embrace. With his other hand, he silenced Ajabdeh...
"Shhh..." he muttered with his finger on her lips, "Aap bas hamare prashnon ka uttar dijiye" he asked her in the same composed tone. Ajabdeh fell silent again. Having her near him had worked its magic; despite of the pain that he felt along with her, he gained some strength. Ajabdeh slowly nodded in response; not uttering a single word.
She stood still, in the very position in which Pratap had held her. Although she couldn't really see the proximity, but the feel of it was enough. It felt as if her pain was slowly melting away; just by staying there. She felt so relieved, and this place felt so right; enclosed in Pratap's arms, close to him; it felt so true.
Pratap gazed her face in silence. Before beginning, he told her, "Ajabdeh, ham is baar matr aapke hriday ki baat sunna chahte hain, aapke mastishk ka nahi. Sach sach uttar dijiyega Ajabdeh...jo bhi aapka hriday kahe..." Ajabdeh nodded slowly again. It was as if his embrace, this moment, it had silenced her muddled mind and all that she could do was what her heart told her to.

After a few moments, he asked in his subtle serious tone...

"Kaisa lag raha hai yahan?"

"Surakshit" Ajabdeh replied after a moment in the same tone as Pratap, "Aisa lag raha hai jaise koi shatru ham par aankh uthakar bhi nahi dekh sakta jab tak ham yahan hain...jaise yahan sabhi pareshaniya aur kathinaiya hamse door rahengi...jaise yahan koi bhi kushakti, koi bhi bura bhaav, yahan pravesh hi nahi kar payega... jaise vishv ki koi kathinai hame nahi chhu sakti yahan..." Her speech was satisfied, calm and true; as if her heart was speaking from inside.

"Kaisa anubhav kar rahi hain aap yahan?"

"Santusht...jaise hame yahan kisi bhi vastu ya vyakti ki aavashyakta nahi padegi...jaise jo kuch bhi hame chahiye, sab yahan hai...jaise hamari sabhi ichchaen pehle se hi poorn hai yahan...jaise hame na chahte hue bhi sab kuch mil jayega yahan..."

"Bhavishy me kya dikh raha hai aapko?"

"Khushiyan...aseem khushiyan. Jaise sab achcha hai, jaise nakratmatta ka saya yaha se bahut door hai...jaise vishv ki saari prasannta simat kar isi ghere me aa gayi hai...jaise, jaise hamare jeevan ki sabhi mushkilon ki raat ke baad ka savera yahan hai..."

"Aage kahan jaana chahti hain..?"

"Kahin nahi...ham bas-bas yahi rehna chahte hain, yahin par. Aur kahi nahi. Sadev ke liye. Yahin hai sab kuch. Hamara parivaar, hamara sukh, aapka sukh, sabhi dayitv, sabhi kartavy. Yahan sab kuch poorn hai."

"To kyu darti hain aap yahan aane se?"

"Kyuki...kyuki..." her heart searched for answers. In the pages of the past, all explanations were clear as a crystal. And the yet to unfold future seemed certain.

"Kyuki aap saty se itni bhaybheet hain ki aap use swikar hi nahi kar paa rahi hain. Aap apne bhay ki patti apni aankhon se hataiye, tab aap samjhengi ki jin Kunwar Pratap ke liye aap swayam ko yogy nahi samajhti, unhi Kunwar Pratap ko aapse achchi jeevan saathi mil hi nahi sakti. Jin parivaaron ke karan aap swayam ko itna dukh de rahi thi, ve bhi aapke sukh ke hit me hain. Jis oudhe ke karan aapke pitaji Chittor rajparivaar ke saath sambandh jodne se mana kar rahe the, ve aaj usi parivaar ke saath prem se bhojan kar rahe hain, bina apne oudhe ya padh ki chinta ke. Jis sakhi ke liye aap apni samasth khushiyan balidaan de rahi thi, ve sakhi bhi aapki bhaavnaon ko samajh chuki hai. Aur jis niyati ko aap doshi thehra rahi thi, us niyati ne aaj hamare marg ek doosre ki ore nirdharit kar diye hain."

"Ajabdeh, jo saty hota hai, jo sahi hota hai, ve kisi na kisi prakar se hoke rehta hain. Kintu use hone me jo baandha hoti hai, vo matr hamare dristikon ki hoti hai. Ye sab jo ho raha tha, ye dooriyan, ye bhay, ye aswikriti, ye sabhi kathonaiyan, ve to niyati ka khel tha. Agar aap use hi saty samajh kar baith jayengi, to kuch sambhav nahi hoga. Niyati ka adbhud vichar hi aisa hai, ki jab tak prem parikshaon se nahi joonjhta, tab tak usse sachche prem ka audha nahi milta, tab tak use safal hone ka marg bhi nahi milta. Hamne niyati ki parikshaon ko safalta-poorvak sampann kar liya hai Ajabdeh, kintu abhi bhi, agar aapko niyati pe, apne hriday pe, ya ham pe vishvas nahi hai Ajabdeh, to ham aapse hatt nahi karenge. Aap chahti hain, to ham chale jayenge..." and with that, Pratap withdrew his arms and stepped away from Ajabdeh.

The sweet, blissful oblivion that felt so right, in an instant, vanished with Pratap's arms and fear and uncertainity made their way to her. Afraid and shocked, she opened her eyes, only to see Pratap retreating, away from her, a step at a time.

"Nahi...!" she muttered.

In a second, everything that he had said, that she had felt, it felt so obvious and true; why was she holding back for no reason?
Pratap read all the transitions in her eyes. And yet, he could not retrace his path back to her. Cause this time, it was her turn to show her strength. He would only make her self-resolution weaker if he helped her this time. He could only clarify the mist in front on her eyes' to see the truth beyond it had to be her own effort. Stop me...' Pratap thought to himself.

The next second, everything happened in a flash...

Ajabdeh had let go of everything; all that mattered to her now was to stop him. She forgot all her fears and worries, and accepted everything the way it was: true and true. She ran towards him, she ran without anything to hold her back, and threw herself onto him, holding him tight, close to her, never to let go again. She cried in happiness, and each tear strengthened her grip onto him. Tears streamed down her eyes, the way they had done before, but the only difference was that they were reflecting her bliss and pleasure; she finally was where she belonged, close to his heart.

Pratap was taken aback. As he watched her, crying and breathless form wrapped all over him, he didn't know how to react. It was hard to believe that she had finally listened to her heart; that the old true Ajabdeh was in front of him again. He stood rooted to his spot while Ajabdeh cried and cried on his chest.

"Nahi jaana hame kahin! Ham yahin hai, bas yahin, sadev ke liye, aapke paas. Mrit bhi ho jaye, tab bhi aapki chaaya ki tarah, sadev aapke rahenge," Ajabdeh confessed amidst her tears.
On her words, Pratap held her arms and detached her from the hug.
"Ajabdeh," he said, "Phir kabhi apni mrityu ki baat karne ka dus-saahas mat kijiyege." He then released her arms and cupped her face, "Kyuki aapke bina ham kaise jeevit reh payenge. Jab hamare shareer se hamari aatma hi chale jayegi, to ham kaise jee sakenge?" he told her.
Ajabdeh gave a very pleased smile and once again threw herself on him. As she did so, she stepped on her lehenga and her foot slipped.
"Aaa!" she yelled as she lost all control and tumbled forward.
"Ajabdeh!" Pratap stepped towards her threw his protective arms around her to save her from falling. But he couldn't do much. She was falling with such force that she collided straight into his chest making him lose his balance. The carpet under their feet only helped in slipping more.

Thud!

The next moment, both of them were on the floor, one atop the other. Ajabdeh was right upon him, while Pratap had still not released her from his protective embrace. Ajabdeh looked at her hands which were upon his chest, then diverted her gaze to his face, which was more closer to hers than it had ever been.
She looked into his eyes.
He looked back into hers.
No one spoke a word.
they got lost in the love in each other's eyes.
After some long lost moments on the floor, both of them came back to their senses and looked away. They hastily scrambled to their feet and straightened their clothes.
"Vo..." Pratap stuttered to explain.
"Vo..." Ajabdeh did the same.
"Vo hame kshama kijiye!" Ajabdeh burst out, "Hamara pao phisal gaya aur ham santulan nahi rakh paye to...isiliye gir gaye. Hame nahi pata thi ki aisa kuch ho jayega! Hame kshama kariye," she said hastily with a hint of shyness in her voice.
Pratap looked at her with furrowed brows.
"Kshama?" he asked apprehensively.
Ajabdeh pursed her lips. She looked up into his eyes.
In a couple of moments, both of them burst out laughing.
Finally, they both hugged each other lovingly. Finally, they were together, they were one. They remained in each other affectionate love for a long time.

Somewhere in distance, wedding bells were ringing.