Yes!! Me...😉 surprised right?? I promised an update after 4 days...but I couldn't stop myself from scribbling my rant...😆...anyways go on..ignore typo's... let me know what u guys are.thinking about Zain's past...why he is feeling that way..
Salsabeel dear...I'll fullfill ur wish...Actually I typed but I lost it...no probs I ll.type again...kaan pakdke sorry for making u all wait for teri meri...
Ostracised healer
Chapter 3
Zain's POV
Sky is brilliantly blue ...burning rays of sun is really exhausting me, I settled on Brick patio chair, wiped sweat dropping from my forehead...
I swig whole bottle of water... closed my eyes... that's an exhausting month...It's not about resting...I dnt rest until I'm completely drained out of energy...
Rest... I deleted that word from my dictionary long ago... I sleep to maintain my health that's it...so I dnt really think exhaustion is due to lack of sleep or not having break...I was mentally exhausted...
I know the pain of turning into an orphan all of a sudden... when she questioned me " How else an new Orphan feel??"
I wanted to tell her, none knows better than me...
Time heals every wound...I believe she will find a reason to live her life unlike me...
I'm still not encounter with a single reason to live...I know I'll never find it too...
I'm still alive!! I'm still living...
bcz ...I'm scared!! I'm scared!!
When I was 11, one day decided to end my life...I walked aimlessly...didn't mind about traffic too...I adamantly walked in middle of road... expecting raging vehicles to crash me...but I was missed everytime narrowly...
I simply counted on the chances fate is throwing at me continuing my walk...
I entered into woods, walked on rattle path bare foot as my slippers tore , unable to bear my hasty walk... Sharp stones on rattle path are hurting my feet...I didn't mind pain surging in my bare foot, I kept walking untill I reached a cliff...
Myy walk ended when I found there is no path further...all I could see was space...huge empty space...as I was 11, It scared me little...but I gripped my fears and bent down taking one step carefully...
It's a valley...Valley of how many feet I donno... but I saw Rushing river in the bottom of valley... River was rushing... crashing against many huge rocks situated in the middle of float and sliding down into another valley to which my eyes failed to register bottom...
Fear I gripped started rushing throughout my body slowly...I took one back step, I bent down on my knees...I was aghast...I turned back...I saw same path which I walked through...which can take me back to where I came from...turned again to see empty space infront of me... space which can engulf me... I have clue where it could take me...but it will be better than world which Ostracised me...
About 5 vehicles narrowly missed me...fate had given me five chances to live...I still was dazzed... I was hovering to choose among options fate has given me...
I took a stone and threw it in empty space, my eyes followed it's path...I couldn't watch it's total journey...so I took another stone...a little bigger one and moved forward and hauled it...it sank into rushing river...stone didn't make pebble it straightly sank... no sign of stone was visible in wild float of river... I gulped in fear... and turned to look at my surroundings.. ..
I found something which weights lighter...I carefully launched it into air...it floated, tossed, spinned in air and landed on surface...It didn't give a second for it settle too..it was flodded cruelly hitting different rocks situated in middle along with rivers wild float...
I picturised myself either drowning in river fighting for air or floating, continuously hitted by rocks situated in middle and then slipping into another valley...as I was 11 both the scenarios scared me...I jerked back...and ran from there...not glancing back once...
Burning rays of sun put break to thoughts...I glanced around my surroundings... Cruel rays of sun are piercing leaves making them dangle down weakly... thirsty trees are begging for water...
I whipped up and watered my garden...one plant is on verge of death...it seriously needs strength...water alone will not strengthen it... it's been manydays...but I really cannot mix manure now... I'm tierd...decided to add for this plant alone, for now!!
I took ploughing tool And walked to manure pit...i ploughed manure... and spread it around jasmine tree...plucked riped leaves and gathered dried leaves and flowers and refilled manure pit with them...
I'm feeling hungry, I need to grab a bite...I headed to kitchen...While crossing living room...I saw her in my guest room...she is still sad...a knot formed in my stomach...i know how it feels...how hard it is too digest...I cannot do anything to help her...only time can heal her...
I reverted to kitchen...grabbed sandwich bread and necessary ingredients, I made sandwich for two of us...decided to make orange juice too..
I took oranges from freezer, peeled them and blended them...I strained pulp ..and filled in two glasses... I arranged them on a trey and whipped to her room...
My legs rooted to place where I am...she is examining her face...she has mixed emotions in her face...
I'm intrigued...so I'm calm...
Her grip on mirror tightened...Wohooo she is turning angry...I'm afraid she might break mirror, and it will hurt her.. she raised her hand with full fierce to haul off the mirror...she stopped when she registered my presence...
Her eyes grew wide...and gave me an apologetic look...
" U can throw it..." I stepped into her room...permitting her...
I really feel she will get relief if she does what she wants to do... She raised her brow with Are u sure look!!
I nodded with a smile and said her.. " I'm serious...U can throw..." Mirror crashed with window 's glass making it crack when she hauled it...
she gazed at me with worried face...
"I didn't expect it to reach upto there..." she said in an apologetic tone...
"I'm glad to know u r gaining back energy, that proves it.." I said her with a smile...she was very week actually...
I sat beside her and offered her to eat Sandwich and juice... she didn't protest...had little of it but gulped entire juice... mean while I too completed my food... She was silent through out meal...I washed my hands and pulled side draw...and displayed her medicines infront of her...
I really dnt want to do more,she can take care of rest... doing more is nothing but searching a weapon to break walls protecting me...
I wish I could avoid her...but Sadly I cannot...
I held the empty tray and turned back to leave...
" I need a help..." I stopped when I heard her...tears were ready to crawl down...
"what is it?? " I questioned, trying to sound normal...
Those tears I really hate them...I remember warmth it offered to my frozen heart...
Her tears made me suspect about what I am...
Can I really sooth pain of a woman...?? Did I ebb her pain?? Did she felt secure??
No then she is wrong...she is not secured with me!! She is not secured with me..!!
I give only Pain!! I don't sooth pain!!
I hate her tears which are assuring my heart about of whom I can never turn into..., they are making me suspect of what I am...
Now I feel one day her tears might turn into a weapon which can break my walls...walls which are protecting me...
I fixed my eyes to floor in an attempt to avoid her tears...and waited for her to ask...
" I need... I mean I want to use net..." I heard her, her voice suddenly turned to desparateness...
I nodded and headed to my study...placing tray on kitchen bar...
I returned back...I saw her takings medicines...waited for her to feel my presence... when she didn't, I knocked on door...
She placed all her medicines into box along with prescription and placed it a side from where she can access it on her own...Well!! Well!! That's good...I dnt need to remaind her everyday... I dnt need to take care...
She glanced at me but soon her gaze shifted my hands holding ipad...she smiled looking at it.. I handed it to her, and walked out...
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I should clean kitchen...and then I have little work, need to draft a mail to branch head affixing newly drafted budget... Then I should type my documentary on currency fluctuations...before that I should make proper research... date is nearing..i need it submit soon...
I sent mail after verifying and altering drafted budget... I instructed branch head...im typing documentary... still more than half is pending... no point in sitting now...my eyes are drooping...i logged out, closed my books and arranged them in shelves...
It 's been more than 4 hours I should check on her once...before I sleep...she might be hungry too... I boiled milk and filled two glasses...I gulped mine... I mixed grated badam in her glass... she really needs energy... I walked to her room holding her glass of milk...
I twisted door knob and reluctantly open door...lights are still on...but she is sleeping... I placed glass on table and turned to look at her...
Corners of her eyes are strained with tears...Her eyes are swollen...she is hugging my ipad to her chest tightly...
I slowly tried to slide out it from her hold..she stirred in sleep...I pulled back my hand in fear.. I shouldn't disturb her sleep...she hardly sleep...but her grip on it is loosened...
Wonder what she was browsed... I pressed power button yawning...
A family photo flashed...my drooping eyelids widened... It's a picture of teddy along with his parents...itseems she is going through pictures which she uploaded in face book...there are many optics in the album...
Suddenly I'm intrigued to see her real face...I remember her saying " Mom use to tell me I'm beautiful like grana..."
I swiped screen for another picture...Next was her parents pictures...then comes teddy...pictures of teddy riding cycle...cleaning his dog... Teddy standing holding a cricket bat...
I didn't realise until I feel wetness agains my cheeks...I'm crying...she lost such a beautiful family...again it's Teddy he is looking younger than now...he was on back of girl circling his hands around her neck...Girl is wearing a merune sweater...she has curly hair...is She Aliya...?? She is beautiful...
I donno if it's she or someone else.. I swiped for another pic...Now it's a complete family pic...which includes Aliya... Yes she is Aliya...she is beautiful before too ...and now even ...
I swiped for rest of pics, there are pictures of hers with her family...friends...
I recognised Hana among them...I have seen her when she came to see Aliya...Aliya was unconscious...she stayed for more than 20 days...she asked me not. To tell Aliya about her visit until she comes back...
Hana doesn't want to talk over phone too... bcz she said it's tough for her to handle it over phone...she is coming tomorrow... that's a relief...
There are pictures of her with a guy...itseems they both are close... but he didn't come to see her...
College group pics, many more...
I cannot take more...I hastily logged out from her profile saving her family pic as tablets wallpaper and placed it beside her...
I settled back on couch sinking my head into cushion...my head is throbbing...it's not going to be simple on her... I could see differences in her...not about her face...
Earlier her face was marked for happiness...and now happiness is completely drained from her...she mostly cries...as her mother said she was beautiful earlier too...
I studied her face when she is sleeping...after cosmic surgery too she is not completely different...she is not same but if we carefully observe few features are still alike...
I covered her with sheets and moved to switchboard to turnoff light... room is pitch dark without light...she might get scared if she awakes in middle...so I left them on and moved to my room...
How was it??😳 Let me know buddies...thank u for wonderfull comments...I ll reply to everyone...once I get time...hit like button pls..
Edited by madhufx9... - 10 years ago
Cricket
Kundali Bhagya
Geet - Hui Sabse Parayee
Anupamaa
