Disclaimer: Any resemblance fictional or real, is purely a coincidence. The Characters belong to the serial Beintehaa.
A/N: dedicated to Shippu,Anwi,Khyati,Sim and her cutie pie(harshu's youngest fan)-zainedil jr. Love ya guys :*
"And if I ever get Alzheimer's..and forget you..?"
"I'll remind you who I am..everyday.."
(Aaliya's diary)
18th May, Monday,1998.
When we were young our love was quite indistinguishable from lust. Our passion bonded us together, our laughter and our good times kept us happy. Then you went away, just for the summer, and I ceased to function as I had before. There was hole, an emptiness where you had been. Everything in the apartment reminded me of you and I would get your clothes from the closet just to smell your musky scent. I missed you. My illusion that we were in a carefree relationship fell away, a future without you was no future at all. You were part of my being , your love had seeped into my skin and rested in my bones. The bond that had been invisible until that moment became obvious, tangible and robust. I had never understood marriage before, but now all I wanted was to promise myself to you for the rest of my life, to honour you, nurture you, keep you in sickness and health. I wanted to wake up with you for the rest of my life, to be your partner, your true friend, your love.
Do you remember the day we got married, the circumstances under which we did. You used to hate me the, KitKit ! You stopped talking to me, so many days after our marriage..trying to hurt my feelings, taunting me at very corner..but I never realised when my childhood nemesis turned into my best friend, my lover, and my partner in this long race..
You were furious at Mamu too, frustrated at his incredulous decision and belief that both of us were perfect for each other...And then we became dependent on each other, we started needing each other KitKit..and yes,I still like calling you by that name..as much as I like it when you call me mamu Ki Bhanji..
Zain, I am filling the very first page of this journal...because very soon..my memories are going to leave me and fade away into oblivion. So I need you to remind me..remember that promise of yours..that'll you remind me every day who you are, how much you love me..you'll read from the pages of this diary and remind me of our love...I love you Zain,never think otherwise,and even when am far , away..I'll always be with you...always..
(Present Day)
A beacon of light pierced through the mullioned panes of glass, bathing the black and white tile floor in a crisscross of iridescent colour ; illuminating the darkened room.
The note book sat heavy in the palm of his hand. It wasn't a large book or particularly thick, but inside lay the answer he had sought all his life.The pages had turned yellow..with the years,and the caress of his fingers,for he had been turning them for quite some time. Zian Osman Abdullah looked at her,his wife,Aliya.She had faded away..once again..there was this blank look in her eyes,making him wonder ,whether she ever got flashes of him ,of the, and their children..
He was about to get up..
"Do you remember her..?" It was the first time, she had spoken to him, in days..
She turned to look at him, with the same wonderment with which a person looks at a complete stranger'.
"You wife.."she whispered..her voice as feeble as a gasping breath.
Zain sat down beside her "I do.."
"O..You really love her don't you..?"
"Yeah, I do.."
"You are lucky..sometimes I think someone loved me too...Do you think he still loves me...?"She was looking back at him.
"He does.." The grief surged with every expelled breath, always reaching higher peaks, never sufficiently soothed by his long intakes of the damp spring air..Zain closed his eyes...trying to choke back his tears,which he ahd promised never to shed in front of her.
"But he never comes to visit me.."she stopped and her eyes met his. Zain looked at Alaiya,her eyes were no longer the same .They eyes were lifeless. The spark that existed before had vanished. There was nothing left, not an ounce of life in her eyes,except a glossy emptiness,which he wished he could fill...
"But you do...You come to visit me every day..." The corner of her lips twitched in a smile..a smile that brought back a whirlpool memory to his mind..
As soon as Aaliya smiled at him, his fear whisked away like a bunch of fruit-flies caught in a heavy gust of wind. Excitement rushed through his veins. Happiness flared in her eyes and for the first time in a while it began in his too. Even if the world around Zain started collapsing, his heart would not get crushed as long as he was looking at her.
"You like me don't you -"
"zain.."she smiled absent-mindedly,as if trying to figure out how it would sound coming out from her lips,before she actually said it aloud.
"Zain..."she mumbled..almost in a trance."
"You like me, don't you Zain..?"
He grappled for words.."I knew it!" it was almost as if,the little girl in her was alive,as she clasped her hands together in glee.."Then why don't you ask me out..."
"You want me to ask you out..?"
His question remained unanswered..as the horizon of her thoughts,faded away,once again and he was left alone in that cold room..to look at her,while she slowly disappeared in the abyss of the oblivion.Leaving him to grasp onto the threads of memories, that was his only anchor to life now.
He recalled that when they were courting and had separated for the summer, time would slow to a trickle and those sunny weeks were an age. Now he would give anything to go back and find a way to spend that time by her side, savouring those moments instead of wishing them away. As she lay dying -slowly, in his arms time flooded through his fingers with no regard for his feelings. He wished he could just stop moving forwards and exist in that moment together. Not thinking. Not breathing. Just not apart . Then he lay next to her just to feel her body heat and bring his head close to hers.
Zain Abdullah, kept the diary on the bedside table..he'd read her the rest of the pages, some other day...
Jab bhi layegi zindagi,khud usko dhoondke...
Pechanenge hum ek pal mei aankhe bhi moond ke...
Jahan koi ranjish na ho.jahan ki koi bandish na ho..
Hoga ishq woh..
Beintehaa...Beintehaaa...
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From
Ann
Book Talk
Anupamaa
