Originally posted by: Rakhie_08
I'm sorry, but while I'm prepared to admit that D's behaviour these last ten years left much to be desired, I am certainly not going to condemn him because Santu happens to have been a young 'inexperienced girl' at the time.
Santu has always shown far more maturity than expected in a teenager. It's one of the reasons that most of the family members accepted her one by one. It's one reason DM began to love about her. He admired and respected her ability to see things in a mature way and to deal with them as such.
So, to say she was inexperienced and young doesn't cut it. She knew full well what she was doing at the time. Granted she had no idea of the negative impact it would have on the family. But she knew perfectly, the effect it would have and has had on DM. I don't however agree with his isolating himself from the rest of the family. I'm merely talking about their relationship. She isjust receieving the treatment that she induced him to give her.
DM is wiser, older I agree, does that mean then that by default he should always be the one to do right? It is the responsibility of both of them to do the right thing by the other. And bearing in mind how mature Santu has always portrayed herself she should not have taken such a matter into her own hands with complete disregard for her husbands feelings.
It is not Santu's inexperience or age which is to blame, but her matagiri!DM's behaviour likewise is not about his age or experience, but about him being broken by the fact that his wife thought it was acceptable to sacrifice their relationship without involving him in her decision. Marriage, and relationships in general are of two halves. Santu disregarded the feelings of the other half of her marriage.
In DM's shoes I'd be mighty miffed too!
I condone neither. I merely point out that they have both been foolish, but the greater portion of the blame must lie with Santu for having taken that fateful step and setting the course of events as has happened with regard to her relationship with DM. The rest of the motley crew are a whole other issue!