Freedom to choose - Page 2

Originally posted by: sailat@PA

True!! JC, i don't think she can choose....she doesn't have any options.....she is a good human....she does what's being told....but then i feel she believes that's what all wives have to do...to pick up after their families....but in her case....when she does something that's not asked of her she's reminded of her status.....DM did it soo brutally!! and always the viewer can see this hesitancy and doubt in her actions....the whole prasad scene....she had to look at DM surreptitiously to see what her next sequence of actions wud be!!

she chooses to do as she is told. There is the choice she makes. Circumstance may force her to choose one option over the other.. but its a choice she still makes because the outcome of that choice is something she prefers over the outcome of not making that choice... ie. she will no longer be seen as the ideal dhramapatni like the background music indicates everytime she does something. So she wants to be the ideal wife as is her concept of an ideal wife.. hence her choice to do and tolerate and sacrifice. I feel little sympathy for her. Not that i am indifferent to her suffering but i feel she as a woman has some strenght in her to face the situation she is in. And thats what she is doing. Hopefully she'll be pushed to a maximum sometime soon wherein she'll let the inner strenght come out explicitly.

Opti,

Great topic Opti.
As per Santu having a choice is not true. She practically did not have a choice. She had to think of her sisters and Nanaji. Nanaji worked for Dm and you really think after DM getting refused by Santu in front of the entire village, would Nanaji still have his job? What would they eat and where would they live? After all this is the Darampur. Another thing in life is that when you are that poor as they show them and no formal edjucation, you really do not have any choices. YOu go as the life takes you. You might get luckey and things might get better. It may sound harsh but " ye sab paise ka khel hai".
DM's kids have advantage of having edjucation, prominent father who is rich and has lots of power. They have seen how it is to have a choice and can afford to make a choice. It is another issue that the kind of choices they make is harmful or helpful to themselves.
Hiten is stubborn and unnecessrily resisting his father's help. He does need to act like an adult and learn to talk instead of arguing. HIs lesson should be look, listen and then talk.
Maulik as someone mentoned before is a lost case. He is finiacially, ethically ,emotionally corrupted. He has no morals. What can you say for someone who is letting his brother die for his mistake and then when he is caught ,runs away?
Kadambari is young. She has right concerns about her life and lifepartner.She does not have family support or anyone she can confine in to regading it.
The biggest problem with DM is that it is his way or the highway.He is willing to listen nor willing to change himself.
I hope i have not gone overboard.This forum can get my writing skills back in track as i am D- in writing.

Soapie... for someone who had let other make her decisions, she wasn't too lost or indesisive when she declared that justice to her would be if Maulik repaid what he took away from her family. So in my pov she is very much capable of making her own decisions because she has a strong sense of right and wrong. People are only indecisive when they don't know what is the right thing to do.

Now i feel i am might be a bit premature to judge because i have not watched the show fromt he beginning.. but still.. IMO she let others make her decision.. not because she wasn't capable of making those decisions for herself, but because she chose to live like that.

Originally posted by: -JC-

My take on freedom to choose.. is that no matter what the situation, human being always has a choice...there is always two ways. Each person has to choose one path over the other weighing their pros and cons. But a choice is always made my self. Santu doesn't excersise her right to say no. She chooses to follow, to respect, to abide and to obey. She chooses to stay even after the ill treatment. There is a choice. no?

Originally posted by: -JC-

she chooses to do as she is told. There is the choice she makes. Circumstance may force her to choose one option over the other.. but its a choice she still makes because the outcome of that choice is something she prefers over the outcome of not making that choice... ie. she will no longer be seen as the ideal dhramapatni like the background music indicates everytime she does something. So she wants to be the ideal wife as is her concept of an ideal wife.. hence her choice to do and tolerate and sacrifice. I feel little sympathy for her. Not that i am indifferent to her suffering but i feel she as a woman has some strenght in her to face the situation she is in. And thats what she is doing. Hopefully she'll be pushed to a maximum sometime soon wherein she'll let the inner strenght come out explicitly.

Originally posted by: soapie

Opti,

I love reading your posts for the unique POV they have and ofcourse, your writing style is very impressive too!

Coming back to Santu, she has indeed never had the freedom of choice! But then again, coming from her circumstances, I doubt what Santu would do, if she indeed had the freedom to choose!

Someone who has always let other make decision on her behalf, would in all probability be lost & indesicive if life ever gives her a chance to live her life on her own terms.

Santu was given a choice during her wedding ceremony...if she had a bit more courage and the foresight to see what her life would become, she could have put her foot down and negated DM's proposal of marriage...but all that she could think of and see was her Nanaji and Village's honor...infact, she was forced to overlook her personal happiness and look at the larger picture.

I fully agree on the fact that the treatment meted out to her at DM's house is very sad...it was so poignant to see her telling Champakali that she was happier in the storeroom and now when she is actually sharing her husband's room, she feels like a Bandini!

On another note, I feel that everyone gets a choice to make in life...but sometimes circumstances dictate the choices to be very narrow and even though we chose to make our own decisions, we feel that they were thrust upon us, because the choices given to us were not of our liking!

Soapie

my post about freedom of choice was not at all understood as i see from your reply akka. Newho i don't think i can say it differently i'll probably end up confusing myself.😆

I don't think Santu needs any outside help to break free of her shackles. She has it in her to do it. Its evident from the way she conducts herself in face of the atrocities she faces. There is a simple grace to her that comes only from a strength of character. Her lack would only be in that she is uneducated and therefore does not know the way to liberate herself. But life will teach it to her soon enough. She absolutely has it in her to turn her life around. And i believe she'll do it with some support, sure but she'll do it her way and she'll be the one to take that decision which will turn her life around, and she might have already started.

i think yesterday's episode was a landmark, in the sense that it is the first time she has voiced a displeasure with the way she is being treated. i think we are going to see a slightly different santu now.

Originally posted by: gawker

i think yesterday's episode was a landmark, in the sense that it is the first time she has voiced a displeasure with the way she is being treated. i think we are going to see a slightly different santu now.

she does have a choice in the little-big things everyday, and so far she seems to be have been making one that will only deepen her problems.

- dm is covered in holi colours - choice is ignore/give him a napkin/clean the colours with your dupatta. she chooses to do what will irritate him the most.

- your clothes don't fit in his cupboard - choice is keep them outside/remove what is inside and keep yours instead. she chooses to do what will irritate him the most.

- you don't know where you stand with him - choice is keep waiting/keep him guessing/ask him when i get to play wife. she chooses to do what will irritate him the most.

not to forget the wise choices she's made:

- motiben gives her her jewellery to save maulik. choice is to return jewellery to motiben or to dm. she chooses to return them to dm. wise girl.

- she finds a blank receipt book. choice is to return it to dm personally or give through birwa. clever girl birwa helps her decide to return it to dm.

- motiben gives her second sari and jeweller to wear. choice is to wear it or show it to dm first. she chooses to get his approval, so avoiding another arm pinching.

so our little heroine is quite clever. i think she'll surprise us with wiser choices soon.

Even though I haven't seen much of the epis I have read about them and I couldn't agree more Manu. It is not like DM has a knife put to her throat at all times it is the initial awe of the man that makes her forget reasoning in his presence. Though when she is on her own she had quite a sharp mind. I am sure once she gets over self pity phase she has the potential to make her prsence felt. And she always has the choice to do that.