Commode plays cupid



Ektaji is back on telly, but without any band ya baja. Just as well I think, because not only has she come back with the same bakwaas, this time she has actually arrived with some stolen story ideas. For her Bandini, Ektaji has simply copy-pasted the old-dulha-baby-bahu idea from Balika Badhu and added Mihir to it — with a new name, a dhoti and a pointy-pointy moonch. So Bandini is all about a poor, young girl Santok marrying grumpy old diamond merchant Dharampratap Mahiyavanshi (DM), followed by lots of tension, tears and punar-janam. In the episode I watched, many people in fancy dresses had come for Santok and DM's shaadi. While girls in ghagra-cholis and men in dhoti-kurtas were eagerly waiting to eat and dance, at DM's house there was loud-loud talk of bad sitare and good sitare. Suddenly, DM muttered something about age and ego and nakshatra and the wedding was called off.I toh got fully bored and moved to Ektaji's next Kitani Mohabbat Hai — this is a story of love, paisa and ladies' toilets. Arjun Punj is a business tycoon with lips that look like fresh-fresh bread-pakoras. He's always shouting, never shaving and very angry that this one girl, Arohi, works in his office. Anyway, Arohi comes to Arjun's office, all wet-wet. When I say wet, I mean fully, totally, drip... drip... type of wet. She walks into his office, dripping all over his carpet. He gets angry and quickly takes out the AC remote and puts thandi-thandi hawa on full blast. Arohi starts shivering. But because she is Ektaji's heroine, she immediately begins to stare at the AC — kya pata, Balaji may suddenly grant her supernatural powers to vaporise all air conditioners. Instead, because of the AC's thandi-thandi hawa she feels very joor-se su-su and gets up to go to the ladies'. But she lands up in a men's toilet where many men in suits are in the middle of... you know..., zips down and all. Arohi ko dekh kar they all feel shame-shame, looking very dazed and cross. Anyway, Arohi does her thing and goes back to Arjun's office. The AC's still on full blast, so she again feels su-su and Arohi-Arjun ki su-su ki kahaani keeps moving in and out of rooms, with and without commodes... Bechari Ektaji seems to have run out of story ideas and has got a toilet pot to play cupid which brings her lovers together.
Meanwhile, suspicious couch-aloo Dr Sridevi G. writes from Secunderabad, "I have been wondering why no one has commented on reality shows and their voting system? Why do these shows have judges when all the decisions are taken through SMSes? Producers are hand in glove with mobile network providers and it's all a ploy to generate revenue. Voting and mounting mobile bills can elevate your blood pressure, so stick to saas-bahu serials!"
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