Is DB correct on men and women?

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Hibernated

Posted: 11 years ago

Whether it is this serial or cases in real life (rape, harassment, casting couch, affairs, fake cases)...

I wonder can men and women never interact normally? Is their interaction bound to be coloured by sexual overtones unless they pledge to be bhai saab and behenji?

Should they remain segregated in their roles, places and interactions?

Or is real life more normal and it is just media that exaggerates sexual awkwardness and deviance when men and women interact at same place (workplace, school, college etc.)?

What is more problematic? Mentality of people or lack of control in men and women (like Rasika or HS son)?

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leavesandwaves

@leavesandwaves

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

Inspite of problems, it is good if men and women study together, work together.

Segregation is not the solution. It is better to have more women than one or two. By this women feel not isolated among too many men.

Of course there will be attractions and affairs. Cant help.

Men and women are not antagonists. It is usually woman versus woman and man versus man.

DB is stupid and should be kicked out and daddu is doing injustice to other members of the family by wanting to keep her, a snake.

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Uma

@adi2512

Sparkler

Posted: 11 years ago

Of course DB is wrong., and that is the reason, they have raised this issue from the mouths of DB and her likes.

Its not the makers are offering any answers to the various questions that are raised by different strata of society, different mentalities and thought processes that we usually come across...

But I feel., they are just making us 'think' , raising these regressive issues by regressive mentalities like DB., and decide for ourselves, what is the best and logical way to go about.

If we look at BV as a show , that should offer answers to these various questions, they should be writing one more " Gita " on these various social stigmas.

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642126

Hibernated

Posted: 11 years ago

I don't know...but sex has increasingly become dominant in mention of male-female relations. Now with these cases of even fathers and brothers raping sisters/daughters or bhabhi having affair with devar or raped...

Can they not interact without letting sex overpower?

I know a tutor in my city has stopped admitting girl students since long because he says he cannot take burden of girls' responsibility. His well known coaching centre teaches only boys.

My mother is a professor in college and I see her and her colleagues wary of male students increasingly entering courses like home science, fine arts, nutrition, fashion/textile, design etc., which were female dominated.

My father does not feel awkward working with lady doctors but does feel clueless what to do when they take too much leave, arrive too late to work...He questions them less. And is mostly lenient as in he does not question them much or instruct them to be on time etc. He does not even talk to them unless on professional matters.

There is either confusion, fear or awkwardness. Never seen anybody normal except kids. Only they seem to be free from gender pressure.

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leavesandwaves

@leavesandwaves

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: atominis
I don't know...but sex has increasingly become dominant in mention of male-female relations. Now with these cases of even fathers and brothers raping sisters/daughters or bhabhi having affair with devar or raped...
Can they not interact without letting sex overpower?

I know a tutor in my city has stopped admitting girl students since long because he says he cannot take burden of girls' responsibility. His well known coaching centre teaches only boys.

My mother is a professor in college and I see her and her colleagues wary of male students increasingly entering courses like home science, fine arts, nutrition, fashion/textile, design etc., which were female dominated.
My father does not feel awkward working with lady doctors but does feel clueless what to do when they take too much leave, arrive too late to work...He questions them less. And is mostly lenient as in he does not question them much or instruct them to be on time etc. He does not even talk to them unless on professional matters.

There is either confusion, fear or awkwardness. Never seen anybody normal except kids. Only they seem to be free from gender pressure.

There is palpable fear and mistrust. Who wants to take risk and get blamed? I think draconian laws and their misuse are also partly responsible. The things have come to such a level that women dont rust men and men dont trust women.

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aparnauma

@GoodDoc_2105

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

We can't really say whether what she said is right or wrong. What she said does happen. Men and women working together getting closer becoming friends is a common enough situation.

Man woman equation or the sex factor doesn't go away even if you are best friends forever.

But this sex dominating a man woman relationship happens not because they are from different gender but happens because people allow that to take precedence over other things that are there in that relationship.

For instance a man and woman who are colleagues working in the same team learn a lot more about each other as they work together as a result of that their work output may be very good.If they allow sex factor to dominate their equation at work may not remain same esp if one or both of thm are committed to a relationship elsewhere.Wise people will leave it just as it is - good friends and a good team and be happy with it even if they would have liked more from their relationship somebody who can't see the bigger picture may let sex dominate the relationship with disastrous consequences.

Segregation is not the answer but conditioning of one's mind is more important to keep the sex factor away from a man - woman equation.

I am talking from my own experience

I studied in all girls school till twelfth after that I entered Medical College which obviously co - ed.

It was strange situation where a bunch of 18 year old boys and girls are placed in a situation where there are so many challenges.

One side it was the age just 18 where people spend time battling with the hormones and the other side it is the pressure of academics. Academic pressure was quite a bit because till then you are always among top 5 or top 10 in your batch and now you enter a course where getting a passing score itself is

a huge challenge.

I used to be quite inhibited or rather conscious about the fact that there are boys around but as time went by and with all these struggle to keep up with academics and also due to the fact that we were all divided into groups which contained both boys and girls the frequent interactions and also spent time studying and learning the inhibitions just went away.

Now at my work place I have more ale friends than female friends now.Sex factor doesn't go away but it becomes such a minor factor in the face of all the things that you have in your relationship with that man as a colleague/ senior or a junior.My friends do flirt or tease but it's all in lighter vein because we all know our equation at work is more important than anything else.

It all depends on how you learn to appreciate the person for what she is or he is that makes the sex factor less dominant in your equations with members from opposite sex

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SPuja

@SPuja

Rocker

Posted: 11 years ago

The more society strive to separate men and women, boys and girls - the more problem they will face. Same is with inequality - such problem is more in society where inequality is more. And the most important thing is how the elder teach/do not teach a person about the relationship of man and woman.

In North Indian middle class families (because I know them better than how things are elsewhere) - some boundaries are ingrained in the young minds - restriction on girls, curfew hours, household work, generally taught to be submissive (replying back or arguments are always discouraged) and preference to all-girls school in smaller cities. They learn that they have to save them from boys (misplaced sense of honour) etc. Boys are brought up differently - they generally get what they want, they learn women are inferior to men (by seeing how things are around them), they know that they are preferred over their sisters and generally can get away even if they break a rule - elders will save them. This may be the reason of some mistrust between men and women in working life. In offices, people mix freely, still women tend to interact more with other women and men remain either cautious or arrogant depending upon their own nature. If a male and female colleague spend most of the time together - even in government offices some people assume a relationship more than just friendship. This mentality, though wrong, can not be done away because of the lesson they learnt since childhood and stereotype ingrained in their mind.

I myself have friends - male and female in office, still somehow, in conferences and meetings where there is no protocol seating arrangement, I generally end up with my female friends (even junior female colleagues than male colleagues of my rank). There is no mistrust here, perhaps some subconscious reasoning.

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leavesandwaves

@leavesandwaves

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

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aparnauma

@GoodDoc_2105

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: leavesandwaves
I myself have friends - male and female in office, still somehow, in conferences and meetings where there is no protocol seating arrangement, I generally end up with my female friends (even junior female colleagues than male colleagues of my rank). There is no mistrust here, perhaps some subconscious reasoning.

Maybe comfort factor.

Even I end up sitting with women when I go to new place or surrounded by new people.Comfort factor is probably one reason

While you may not have problems with men who meet on daily basis when it comes to meeting men who are not familiar with the hesitancy will be there.

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seetha74

@seetha74

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: atominis
Whether it is this serial or cases in real life (rape, harassment, casting couch, affairs, fake cases)...
I wonder can men and women never interact normally? Is their interaction bound to be coloured by sexual overtones unless they pledge to be bhai saab and behenji?

Should they remain segregated in their roles, places and interactions?

Or is real life more normal and it is just media that exaggerates sexual awkwardness and deviance when men and women interact at same place (workplace, school, college etc.)?

What is more problematic? Mentality of people or lack of control in men and women (like Rasika or HS son)?

Skep ...a very good topic to discuss ...meaningful, and a vast scope is there to agree as well as to disagree !

Sometimes the conclusions agree with the present day happenings, but at times, the theories disagree / contradict the reality in basic practical rural / urban situations !

There are variations concerning the relationship between a man and a woman to share common interests,without having any discomfort ...but there are success stories too on either side of this dilemma ! I strongly believe that ...clean and healthy relationships are quite possible between people of the opposite sex! Yes it depends on the maturity levels and as a matter of fact, as a member rightly described ...depends on the age, with implied 'hormone factor' of the people concerned.

Over exposure to electronic media at an early age is contributing to crimes towards women and doing enormous damage to social fabric !

Want to see a strict punishment to DB from Daddu ...not a sorry from the protagonist ...the least .