Dadisa's thinking

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hooked

@hooked

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

#31

Ganga's condition has ofcourse shaken up the women of the house and it is a lot to absorb and accept in one shot.

Its not fair to expect that anyone will listen to a medical opinion with such a huge impact on all their lives - and promptly accept it - without seeking solutions for it.

Do people even with terminal cancer or other conditions just accept it as God's will and sit at home and make peace with fate ? Don't their families do all they possibly can to seek a solution and try new cures looking for a miracle when doctors tell them otherwise ?

Shud one just listen and accept and not try anything ?

If that were true - there wud be no research and no point in researching medicine and trying to find solutions where there seem none. 20 years back - IVF was not that popular or the treatment this commonly available in India or known or accepted as such.

Even then some thought- one shud just accept that as God's will and not fight fate.

But today that is common practice. Infertility is not a curse anymore and in a lot of cases - couples have been helped by science. Here too - Ganga has a weak womb - which may or may not heal over time but - maybe her eggs are salvageable and both her and the Singh women's dream of a Jagya clone can be a possibility.

This does not make them petty and narrow minded or unaccepting of Mannu or a wimp out of Jagya.

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hooked

@hooked

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

#32

Originally posted by: Shinya

The very first sentence is wrong. Ratan married again because she was not able to conceive.

Ganga realised she was pregnant the day he brought in his new wife.

That is what we said, the only difference between singhs and ratan's family is that they are not using violence.

We cant forget that dadisa was responsible for basant's first wife's death and the reason was same. She ws not able to give them a child.

My mistake - I didn't remember- she was just expecting and had not had Mannu by then.

But child birth is not always as safe as an appendectomy. More so in a village with not even a decent hospital to call its own. At the time Basant's first wife died - we weren't even shown the circumstances. We don't know what complications were there. Was it sugar or high BP or just a case that required an experienced gyno and the place had just a mid -wife ???

We don't know what happened.

So its not fair to assume DS deliberately went and killed Basant's wife coz she did not have a baby. Sumi did survive both her kids didn't she ?

Even Smita Patil died in childbrith - and I'm sure she cud afford the best care possible and had it too. Sometimes these things happen.

Edited by hooked - 11 years ago

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Missesha

@Missesha

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#33

I feel it is unfair to compare Singhs with Rat's family and bring them at the same level.

Rat's family only and only believed in having a male heir. They did not care for the women involved, whether Ganga or Padma. When Padma delivered a baby girl, Padma too did not remain in their good books either (just that P was bold / strong enough to look after herself).

Singhs are not demanding anything in particular from Ganga. Yes they are upset with the news, as they have always had a desire to see J's baby. Such news is always hard to digest. Their reactions thereafter are quite normal too. They are using their brains and working out different solutions whether it is through medical or pooja and hoping for a way to get their desire fulfilled. They have not hinted all these discussions to Ganga, just because they don't want to hurt her. Niether do they wish to risk her life in an attempt to have a JaGan baby, unlike RAT.

Mannu is not being side-lined either. He is being looked after by everyone and as a fairly grown-up toddler, he always does not need only G's attention as there are many people around. Hence G feels a bit less concerned about Mannu and is focusing on another baby. That does not make her a bad mother.

Yes it is indeed stupid of her not to have disclosed this in family, and there by risking her own life at her own cost. But Singhs cannot be blamed for pressurising her. They have not.

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 11 years ago

#34

Originally posted by: Shinya

Tinoo, then what is the difference between SInghs and Ratan's family? Ratan's family too wanted their own flesh and blood.

Shinya, the point I'm making is perhaps there is no difference whatsoever.

The singhs never said to ganga "we will be different than ratan's family"... they never made any commitment to her that they would accept Manu as their own child and never want a blood-line heir from Jagya.

The point I'm making is that we cant fault them for behaving in a manner now which they never agreed to behave in to begin with.

The singhs are what they are. I feel that all of us waste too much time debating how people "should be". Everyone just is the way they are and we have to move on and find our own positioning and stance and stick up for our own beliefs and points of view.

Now it remains for Jagya and ganga to stand up for Ganga's health concerns if she were to get pregnant and lose her life in the bargain. (which she already is pregnant secretly)

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 11 years ago

#35

Originally posted by: hooked
[
Even Smita Patil died in childbrith - and I'm sure she cud afford the best care possible and had it too. Sometimes these things happen.

Smita Patil did not die in childbirth. She died twenty days after her child was born ... of a brain hemmorage that occurred suddenly. she was fine for about 19 days after her child was born and quite normal.

She already had a leakage in her brain pre-pregnancy -- and the doctors had already told her that having a child and going through labour pains and contractions might bring on a brain hemmorage -- but she was so particular on having a child with Raj Babbar that she ignored it and went ahead and that is exactly what did end up happening.

The leak which was of concern, but otherwise not exceptionally harmful got aggravated owing to the pressure of pregnancy.

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 11 years ago

#36

Originally posted by: hooked

Just bcoz Ganga already has a kid - does not mean she has no right to want another kid - this time from a guy she adores.

This is truly not the case, and therefore why we are having so much discussion on the forum. Ganga is not doing this because she wants to have a part of Jagya inside her or because she wants a love child with the man she adores.

She is only doing this out of gratitude for dadisa and trying to 'repay' the singhs for the 'ehsaan' they have done (or she perceives that they have done). That is why we are having this discussion.

If Ganga wanted to do this out of love for Jagya and to fulfill her OWN desire, then we would not be talking about this topic at all, or maybe not as a point of debate.

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Missesha

@Missesha

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#37

There is particularly a lot of difference between Singhs and Rat's family.

The desire to have one's own blood prevails almost in every household and all bahus (whether conventional or modern) knows that she will be expected to give them a child. Most women are quite happy with it because they too want to become mothers.

The real test happens when the bahu and family finds out that she has some difficulties in producing. The family's patience is actually then tested - the way they behave with their bahu on finding out the news.

Singhs have behaved very well withG after knowing the news, and this is where the difference lies. While RAT was more inclined to bring another woman in his life, Singhs have not done that with Ganga. Singhs did something similar in past and bear the guilt of Jamuna's death and Gehna's poor health during her pregnancies.

Singhs have learnt their lesson, while RAT & family is even far from realising their mistake.

Singhs are far different from RAT & Co.

Besides which both G and Singhs expected that one day G will become a mother of J's child too, but they have already given Mannu a place in the family. It was not a pre-condition by G that she will not have a second child neither did Singhs tell her upfron that Mannu is all they want in the name of a grand child.

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hooked

@hooked

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

#38

@tinoo

wiki says Smita Patil died due to complications arising due to childbirth. Now whether it was her mid section or her brain or her lungs - it doesn't matter.

What matters is - somehow child birth over whelmed her system and the doctors of the day then - could not save the situation.

My point was - Basant's first wife also passed away quite a long while back -atleast 20 yrs ago as per the serial's time span. At that time - even the best carae in a metro cud not save a very famous person - so who knows what went wrong with Basant's wife in a tiny remote village ?

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This is immaterial. The point I was making is - Dadisa cannot be held guilty of murder and have to absolve herself by accepting Ganga's status as is.

I remember Ganga saying very clearly in one scene that she wanted to have a kid with DactarSa for him and for his family.

The kid was not an ehsaan utaro - and if thats how some see it - even then, Ganga is at fault - not DS or Sumi.

Now too - despite being an educated nurse and having heard the doctor's reasons and advice - if she has decied to keep her pregnancy a secret - that is her own lunacy - NOT to be confused with DS's aspirations.

The problem will not come now while it is safe to abort - it will be later when the baby is becoming heavier and her body can't take the strain. at that point - the sufferers will be Jagya and Mannu - and their culprit will be Ganga and not DS.

DS - being a product of her times- will want to consult a priest first and a doctor later. Her desire to see Jagya's kid is but natural as is Sumi's.

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Bringing a new life into the world is a huge responsibility and one that shud merit very careful consideration. To have a kid on a whim to please so-and-so is not sufficient ground IMO.

The new life will depend on the parent for providing nutrition and guidance both physical and emotional growth and lots and lots of love to make it a wholesome caring person.

If the parent hasn't thought clearly about the reasons or the responsibilities involved - they shud not have one or adopt one or take charge of any life as a guardian.

To adopt a kid to set an example of good work to society at large - OR - to risk continuing an ill-advised pregnancy just to please an aging matriarch who will not live long enuf to look after the lives you leave behind - is not smart.

Edited by hooked - 11 years ago

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SPuja

@SPuja

Rocker

Posted: 11 years ago

#39

When Smita Patil died, the news was that she died of encephalitis or brain fever type of disease.

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SPuja

@SPuja

Rocker

Posted: 11 years ago

#40

Originally posted by: Missesha
There is particularly a lot of difference between Singhs and Rat's family.
The desire to have one's own blood prevails almost in every household and all bahus (whether conventional or modern) knows that she will be expected to give them a child. Most women are quite happy with it because they too want to become mothers.

The real test happens when the bahu and family finds out that she has some difficulties in producing. The family's patience is actually then tested - the way they behave with their bahu on finding out the news.

Singhs have behaved very well withG after knowing the news, and this is where the difference lies. While RAT was more inclined to bring another woman in his life, Singhs have not done that with Ganga. Singhs did something similar in past and bear the guilt of Jamuna's death and Gehna's poor health during her pregnancies.

Singhs have learnt their lesson, while RAT & family is even far from realising their mistake.

Singhs are far different from RAT & Co.

Besides which both G and Singhs expected that one day G will become a mother of J's child too, but they have already given Mannu a place in the family. It was not a pre-condition by G that she will not have a second child neither did Singhs tell her upfron that Mannu is all they want in the name of a grand child.

@bold- Singhs are nice to Ganga and will never do anything like they did to Jamuna or even Gahna. What is strange is their making this such a big issue that Basant stopped Bhairo- who was going on work- to discuss the matter and then both of them went immediately to hospital to discuss this with Jagya. Again they involved DS. DS did not agree with surrogacy but is ready to go to pandit to find a way. Singhs are treating this as a matter of urgency when actually Jagya-Ganga marriage is not even two months old. @blue above is true and when Jagya married they expected that one day they will see Jagya's child but did they expected pregnancy so soon? If not why all the family is thinking about Ganga's condition and ways to get Jagya's own child?

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