Adoption & One-Child-Policy as China!! - PG3 - Page 3

Originally posted by: dsupriya

Interesting debate. I think what happens when correct balance of love, discipline and is not given then these sort of incidents happen. From this case my opinion is that, the boy was given more importance than the due, and somewhere the society at large is also responsible for drumming this that blood is thicker than water. That is why all this happened. But never the less it will not happen with biological child is also mute. Because I know in my family only one of the biological child has turned into the criminal and no one knows his whereabouts. In his case he had some psychological issues which the parents did not want to accept or treat him.

But at times it becomes inevitable that you have to disclose to the child that he or she is adopted. Like in my case where I am a single unmarried woman who has adopted a lovely girl. As she grows up the question of father will come and at some point in time will have to disclose her gently and make her understand that she is adopted but very special and dear to us. And maybe here is when I also plan to counselling sessions by counselors who are apt at handling such situations and who can give me appropriate guidance. Unfortunately in India going to psychiatrist or a counselor be it for marriage, child handling, or anything is looked down upon. So we need to spread awareness on this as well, as this will definitely help in many cases as they will know how to talk to them guide them.

Originally posted by: Debbiee

I can see so many apprehensions regarding adoption, many of them are logical as well. What they show in "Sabdhan India" or any other show can not be ignored.

However I would like to know what is the percentage of adopted kids who turn insane? The same logic could be applied to biological children as well.

In countries like China "One child policy" (Reference - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One-child_policy) is already applied officially. Any second child means the family has to adopt. In a country like India where the pressure on land is high due to heavy degree of population, don't you think a similar policy would be appropriate?

Just like eradication of yesterday's policies like Satee, no-divorce, child marriage.. ; one day we might have an adopted kid in every home. That might abolish the taboo that we have in our society for adopting kids 😊

Originally posted by: libsrocks

well said...imagine if children who find they are adopted think they are in debt of the their adopted parents even if the parents had adopted him for parenthood then how would anandi's child feel when s/he grows up? 😲 ...the way anandi is saying everything regardign her future kid it looks that if her adopted child ever questions her she will throw the same explanation of love and care she is giving now...how would her child feel that her/his mother just adopted her to give the love and care to those who are deprived of it...if i would have ever been given that kind of explanation that i was nothing more than one more social project for my parents which became successful 😭

Originally posted by: hooked

Exactly !

Anandi's or rather CV's point in "adopting" seems to be - for the "HAVEs to do some charity for the HAVE NOTs" !

Like our local pet society keeps organizing "adopt a stray" projects. they wash, sterilize, neuter cats and dogs and ask people to come and offer their homes as otherwise these bechara's will have to live on the street.

But I think adopting a kid shud require little more than just having the money and space to keep and raise a kid. That is the part that the CV's are missing and not tuned into at all.

And that is the part that SHIV too will need to understand. If he now gets bitter and says - I was just treated like - oh - your candy fell in the dust - here - have mine - that wud be grossly unfair to the sacrifice Meenu made and to the love Alok has for Ira.

I've read some pretty drastic opinions about Alok - about how he was a cheat and a despicable character who shud have taken his psychotic biwi to a therapist to accept her pain and who - did not spare even a minute to cry over his dead daughter !!!

Such crazy and extreme views are 😲 and make me 😡 and .

Alok probably saw Ira go thru lots of pain both times and maybe Meenu did too. And maybe - when Ira lost her kid and was unconscious - Meenu had a healthy boy and heard about it and offered on her own.

She must have given a logic like - we all live together - the kid will have all of our love and I can't bear to see Didi in pain again.

It makes perfect sense to me. I'm sure it wud make perfect sense to Daddu too ! It is not a tragedy by any standards and Shiv has no business feeling he was lied to and betrayed and treated like a lost and found parcel at the post ofice.

This is too much drama and it makes the concept of "adoption" a joke.

To be able to love a tiny little life - for its own sake - without bothering about who the parents were - about their religion, about their value system, about their reasons/causes of desperation for giving up - -- and taking care of it and delighting in its smiles and spending sleepless nights carrying them on your shoulder when they can't breathe coz they hv a cold.

Changing their diapers, cleaning their vomits, urging them to eat one more bite, making them finish their milk and giving them good values and teaching them to be happy and polite and helpful little people - requires a little more than money and nannies !!

It requires genuine love. Love that Ira n Alok gave to Shiv. And Shiv shud be shown to think about all this and respect their dedication and not question their love. Chhoti Ma gave up her right to be called "MA" but she didn't ever stop loving him did she ?

If anything Shiv won - he got loved by two moms.

If they show Shiv upset or rude or sarcastic or cynical - it will be like a slap on Meenu and Alok's face.

And it will be like shutting the lid on the coffin of the concept of "ADOPTION" as CV's see it.

Originally posted by: hooked

It requires genuine love. Love that Ira n Alok gave to Shiv. And Shiv shud be shown to think about all this and respect their dedication and not question their love. Chhoti Ma gave up her right to be called "MA" but she didn't ever stop loving him did she ?

If anything Shiv won - he got loved by two moms.

If they show Shiv upset or rude or sarcastic or cynical - it will be like a slap on Meenu and Alok's face.

And it will be like shutting the lid on the coffin of the concept of "ADOPTION" as CV's see it.

Originally posted by: Debbiee

I can see so many apprehensions regarding adoption, many of them are logical as well. What they show in "Sabdhan India" or any other show can not be ignored.

However I would like to know what is the percentage of adopted kids who turn insane? The same logic could be applied to biological children as well.

In countries like China "One child policy" (Reference - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One-child_policy) is already applied officially. Any second child means the family has to adopt. In a country like India where the pressure on land is high due to heavy degree of population, don't you think a similar policy would be appropriate?