Anandi: Respect must be commanded not demanded - Page 2

Debbie,

Anandi had goal of being a teacher and making some difference in society. Later her goal was family.

We can't say Anandi has no goal.

I agree that Anandi should have made her stand clear to Shekhars...that if Sanchi is unable to adjust or cope after marriage then they shouldn't come blaming her. Also she needed to make it clear that even if Jagya listens to her it does not mean she remote-controls him and can mould him as anyone wants.

She may not want to fight but she can ask poilitely, that if matter is about teling truth then why is it an issue of maayka and sasra?

That said, I don't think Shiv is behaving like some mother hen who kicks offspring out of the nest to make it learn how to fly on its own!

Shiv only hands down his decision and washes his hands. Then he leaves people to work around it.

Like he first declared he loved Anandi and would marry her. And left family to cope with this decision.

You talk of Anandi's coping mechanism. I wonder what coping was Shiv doing throughout these months!

Anyway, right now he has suddenly decided to salvage his hurt ego and assuage his guilt of not doing anything for sister in past so he has announced his decision to Anandi and Singhs and left them to deal with.

He's like those men who make their decision, announce it and leave others to cope.

Excellent and much needed one debbie ..

Originally posted by: Skepblun

Debbie,

Anandi had goal of being a teacher and making some difference in society. Later her goal was family.

We can't say Anandi has no goal.

I agree that Anandi should have made her stand clear to Shekhars...that if Sanchi is unable to adjust or cope after marriage then they shouldn't come blaming her. Also she needed to make it clear that even if Jagya listens to her it does not mean she remote-controls him and can mould him as anyone wants.

She may not want to fight but she can ask poilitely, that if matter is about teling truth then why is it an issue of maayka and sasra?

That said, I don't think Shiv is behaving like some mother hen who kicks offspring out of the nest to make it learn how to fly on its own!

Shiv only hands down his decision and washes his hands. Then he leaves people to work around it.

Like he first declared he loved Anandi and would marry her. And left family to cope with this decision.

You talk of Anandi's coping mechanism. I wonder what coping was Shiv doing throughout these months!

Anyway, right now he has suddenly decided to salvage his hurt ego and assuage his guilt of not doing anything for sister in past so he has announced his decision to Anandi and Singhs and left them to deal with.

He's like those men who make their decision, announce it and leave others to cope.

Originally posted by: aspbhargavi

Excellent and much needed one debbie ..

There was a story in my childhood about a ferocious snake who used to bite every one ..then a saint came gave her Gyan and the snake became too good even stopped hissing, then everyone who used to go by the road started throwing rocks at her ..Then after some days the saint came back and asked "what happned ""..the snake told every thing ..

then the saint told " one can't forgot who we are " ..Then the Snake started to hiss but not bite ,,then again everyone stopped hitting

I think the story goes to Anandi also who used to be tigress now became a cat( even a cat becomes a tiger when it is in a closed room)

Anandi should protect herself ( being Mum is not giving respect to elders but losing self respect )

Originally posted by: Debbiee

Well question is not how Shiv behaving. But question is what Anandi is doing in retaliation.

If a senior rags you in college; would you keep mum or take action?

If a topper, ex-Sarpanch can not stand for herself what an average Indian girl would do?

What kind of role model she is playing in the show?

I think I found her immature the day Choti Maa asked her "How would you manage family with your work" before marriage.

She said "Family would always be my first priority.." and may be "If everyone allows then I would think of working.." blah blah.

Do we consider Anandi's marriage is the worst marriage in Indian society? I hope not.

Let me jot down the extreme conditions under which girls (even educated ones) have to live.

1. Physical violence

2. Husband cheating, having relationship with others

3. Dowry issues

4. Husband not in relationship with girl

5. Impotency

and the list is long.

Which category she belongs to? I would consider her problem at in-laws place is pretty minor.

She herself is not strong herself to manage 😊

Originally posted by: PRB_Shonit

*Edit -

Having said that, God helps them who help themselves.. Anandi can give lectures to all village wives/girls not to tolerate any nonsense from anyone, always to stand up for the right and against the wrong, and here when she herself is required to follow the same, she gives such confusing expressions and is letting anyone come and insult her, treat her liuke doormat.. !!

Practise what you preach Anandi ! 😡

Originally posted by: Debbiee

Ansh & Law of Diminishing Returns

Now the curve of returns goes downwards.

Anandi left her job. She does not prepare mouth-watering pakodas anymore, or may be not upto the taste of her mom/sister-in-law. She has nothing meaningful to do; she alongwith the other duo of house watches Sas-Bahu serials on tele. Listening to tantrums from anyone & everyone of the show is her goal of life now.

The curve now moving down-down-downwards beyond the red mark as Shiv might have realized his mistake in choosing the life partner who has no goal, no initiative and no coping mechanism in life. For how long someone speak for somebody if a grown up man/woman can not stand for him/herself. Even the mother kicks her children from the nest if the baby bird is too scared of flying. May be that's what Anandi needs now. A big shock which would make her think where exactly she failed miserably.

Being only good is not enough in life. You need to make your own place in life so that others would start respecting you on their own.

Anandi; respect could never be demanded; but commanded.

Originally posted by: aparnauma

That's the biggest flaw of Anandi...she is brave and intelligent and speaks fearlessly but only for outsiders not for herself or her own family...she just dos not see the difference between being patient in tough times and fighting for your self-respect...no matter how much stress today Shekhars are in they have no right to blame Anandi like this and Anandi needs to realize that soon...@Debbie i don't think Anandi will ever realize this big shortcoming in her character unless someone directly speaks or rather lectures her on this...it's not the first time people have trodden over her and after whatever happened it surprises me how much dumb she can be...Anandi needs to tell Ira that she herself brought her as bahu of KB respectfully so it's her duty to talk to her properly...tell Saanchi to behave properly...why does she get so down in front of Saanchi...Anandi is very weak character...Shekhars in that sense are very real...even in real world pepole don't respect people like Anandi for her patience and everything...they actually look up to girls who can control their sasural properly and manage to retain their respect...why is she so afraid of getting thrown from KB...it's no dhrama sankat here...no strong willed girl would want support from a family who keeps changing their behavior towards their bahu according to their daughter's mood

@Debbie

I quite liked your post on importance of working. 😊

I think it was really inspirational when Anandi was working as teacher and later became Sarpanch. DS, Gehna and Sumitra were also educating themselves or refreshing their learning.

CVs killed it all to make Anandi the same housewife as she was in BH. Holding trays, bearing worst behavior or hiding flaws of brats.

I think Anandi should work and have some life of her own because if one has suffered such shocks in life earlier then one must be prepared for anything.

I hate how working and education in BV are only for single/widowed or broken marriage girls! 😡

In that sense rival like DABH is better. At least the girl hasn't abandoned her dream to be IPS officer!

I think Anandi is too much under influence of DS conditioning and has inferiority complex and fears due to her past. She became more wary after Ira blasted her for UD drama.
Since then Ira and Sanchi have been blaming her often even for things where she had no role, like Sanchi's rape or everyone drunk on bhaang on Holi (it was Sanchi's job!).

Ira and Sanchi, earlier CM, then some colleagues of Shekhars keep bringing up Anandi's rural background and divorce child bride again and again. This makes her reluctant to act or raise her voice I guess.

She was independent and freespirit only in childhood. After that, systematically people have worked on moulding her and making her feel she needs some support or needs to bear anything that sasra or beend do.

All this Tigress mode is for outsiders. Not immediate family.

Rest, I think we should not forget that she is new in Shekhar family. Most Indian women are clueless or submissive when they are newly married.

I think that weird and backward ceremony itself had shown what Shekhars expected Anandi to do - Ira yelping something, Shiv drawing out plates with his sword and Anandi silently holding them all and balancing them all. 😡

Anandi might have held those plates. But handling people is not as easy as handling plates!

I think main reason for Anandi being confused is that her marriage is not outright bad or violent. I mean, they aren't torturing her. Or violent. So she tries to give them a chance or hopes not to offend them. She knows how much they love Sanchi. She wonders if anyone will trust her or not. After all, Ira did blast her saying, "You mean my daughter has some weakness? You think she is not worth it for marriage to Jagya?"
And Mr. Shiv also did not accept when Anandi told him truth of Sanchi. He was silent. Then accused her of deliberately not telling this earlier and letting family be insulted, saying "Mom was right!".
He did laugh off or brush aside her reservations earlier too.

No wonder Anandi was confused whether to speak up or not.