How does one truly forgive??

I can see sumitra still harbours resentment for Jagya because of his past and his "do do baar shaadi tootna" even though she says she has forgiven him.

I think Sumi doesn't truely believe that Jagya changed. She was just happy that her son returned to them. Thats all i guess😕.

Ha ha sunna! Great insight!!

The younger Jagya always made his own decisions and usually superseded the orders and expectations his family had of him for his own benefit. However, now he is more mature and while he still prefers taking his own decisions, his decisions are now primarily for the benefit of others (usually his family) and in accordance with his family. I believe Sumitra basically associates his behaviour of making his own decisions(against the family's wishes) with the younger Jagya. As long as he listens to everything she says she will believe that he has reformed, but as soon as his decisions vary from her expectations she will think that he has gone back to his old self. I don't think she has fully forgiven him or else she wouldn't start doubting him the first chance she got. Bhairon on the other hand seems to have forgiven Jagya as he was willing to give his son a chance to explain himself rather than joining the blame game with Sumi.

As Libra123 says the main reason maybe losing anandi forever.
Jagdish will surely make her feel proud one day. and the day is not far off when sumitra will feel so lucky to have ganga as bahu.

Forgiveness is never easy. Not at all. And especially for a person who has had long and sustained history of blunders since childhood.

Right now Sumitra is thinking that this is another zidd and mannmaani of Jagya as it was in case of Gauri. She does not think he is doing it for the family and she does not know the truth.

Given how Jagya did not bother to tell them truth even on phone or wait till putting sindoor in Ganga's maang it will be like a repeat of his past actions in Sumitra's mind.

Sumitra is concerned for Anandi because Anandi did everything to earn their trust. And also because she has guilt of having a girl's life ruined and even her mother dying in her grief thanks to their decision of child marriage and their inability to handle either DS or Jagya. The fact that Anandi did not take Jagya to court over his illegal marriage and rather pushed Bhairon to keep helping him financially and always stood by Jagya, endears her more to DS and Sumitra. Sumitra was helpless at that time. Had no voice as a mother also. So she is indebted to Anandi. Also her own kids only brought her shame and pain with their blunders. Whereas Anandi brought them the respect they had not imagined and rather helped repair their damaged reputation.

It is Sumitra's fault that she is not feeling her own failure in handling responsibility as a mother.

But we can't bash Anandi or Sumitra for having concern for her.

To earn trust completely, Jagya needed to put in efforts for longer time. And let's be honest! Singhs do not like autonomy in their kids! Anandi was obedient and kept bearing everything so she is dear. Jagya is on his own so he is doubted.

I sometimes wonder if Singhs would have supported Anandi had she fallen in love with someone and chosen a man for herself on her own!

In case of Jagya, Sumitra doesn't trust his judgement. She still hates him for leaving Anandi (due to which they also lost a girl like her from their family). She had problems with Gauri and herself wanted GaGa break up (Gauri's not our choice, she's homebreaker, she misled our son and she's cause of Anandi's misery). Now, she thinks their own choice of Sanchi is perfect (because she thinks the family is perfect and is more tempted because of Shiv who proved to be ideal for laado Anandi. So maybe other sibling will also be good).
She never saw Ganga as bahu. She's not her choice.

Jagya hasn't told them anything about Sanchi's misbehaviour, lies, manipulations and pervertedness. So Sumitra thinks he is cribbing for no reason and is trapped by Ganga.

Problem is that a person who has a bad past needs to be absolutely honest, transparent and clean in future in order to be redeemed and forgiven. Here, even if Jagya was hiding Sanchi's truth in good faith, it just backfired at him. He kept Ganga at hospital quarters without telling family. He had only good intention. But since he is hiding stuff again, so Sumitra feels it's an action replay of his past.

That's why it is said one needs to be careful of what they do and say. That age old fable of fake "Sher aaya" call by a boy and later no one coming to save him when actually a sher came...is a lesson for real life.

Jagya claims he is doing things for family. But he has to tell family the entire truth and also take them into confidence to make them believe he was doing something for them and not for himself.

In Sumitra's eyes (though she is wrong this time) Jagya's breaking rishta with Sanchi is similar to how he broke up with Anandi - away in other city. No talk with them. And she learns about it later as a mother!

Jagya needed to have dropped hiding the truth or lying completely (even if done in good faith) if he wanted to be understood by the family.

Trust broke over a long time. Trust would be earned over a considerable period of time too.

Skep, your post was beautiful and very well analyzed. Libra123 is also right though a bit too strong.

Originally posted by: Sunna_Deewani

I think Sumi doesn't truely believe that Jagya changed. She was just happy that her son returned to them. Thats all i guess😕.

Suna I agree with you, and what he do for she that always will be mistake. Except if he do what Sumi wants.

Nice topic Sector.