Stigma against divorcees - Is it justified? - Page 3

Originally posted by: lovesunshine

I want to share a story from one of my husbands relatives. this boy was working out of India. He came back for holidays and as per parents wishes started looking for arranged marriage matches for himself. He liked a simple Indian girl and because he wanted to take her away with her to his country of residence they quickly went for registry marriage. then he went off to his country.

the realtionship was going good, both side parents and families were very happy...suddenly in our local community magazine my Mother in law found an 'looking for bride' add with this guy's photo !

after further inquiries we found out that the boy's parents were not happy with the girl anymore and asked him divorce/breakoff! the reason given by the boy's mother /father to us was they had to take the girl for one family function (pooja) and they asked her to wear a saree for the ocassion and she denied because she said she is uncomfortable in a saree. and then they started disliking her!

Then they got him married second time again arranged marriage and he gave up his job and settled in India,this girl was an MBA and was working on a very high position in a company, the father of the boy asked her to come home early to cook even though he knew she had work related commitments and due to her position in the company has to attend them. Then the in laws denied her to watch tv and asked her only to do bhajans of god instead..for an educated lady it started getting highly intolerable.


So the couple started staying separately. even then they had issues ..the boy was earning quite a decnet salary himself. The girl had only her father in her maayka and wanted to give her entire salary to her father to which the boy opposed. then they both divorced...

Now this boy has met someone new via online chatting and has recently married this girl - third time!


I hope everything falls in place for him this time and they live happily ever after😉

Originally posted by: angelic8219

The parents are so picky and was it really wrong for the girl to give salary to her father if the guy is earning good anyway?

Originally posted by: lovesunshine

I want to share a story from one of my husbands relatives. this boy was working out of India. He came back for holidays and as per parents wishes started looking for arranged marriage matches for himself. He liked a simple Indian girl and because he wanted to take her away with her to his country of residence they quickly went for registry marriage. then he went off to his country.

the realtionship was going good, both side parents and families were very happy...suddenly in our local community magazine my Mother in law found an 'looking for bride' add with this guy's photo !

after further inquiries we found out that the boy's parents were not happy with the girl anymore and asked him divorce/breakoff! the reason given by the boy's mother /father to us was they had to take the girl for one family function (pooja) and they asked her to wear a saree for the ocassion and she denied because she said she is uncomfortable in a saree. and then they started disliking her!

Then they got him married second time again arranged marriage and he gave up his job and settled in India,this girl was an MBA and was working on a very high position in a company, the father of the boy asked her to come home early to cook even though he knew she had work related commitments and due to her position in the company has to attend them. Then the in laws denied her to watch tv and asked her only to do bhajans of god instead..for an educated lady it started getting highly intolerable.


So the couple started staying separately. even then they had issues ..the boy was earning quite a decnet salary himself. The girl had only her father in her maayka and wanted to give her entire salary to her father to which the boy opposed. then they both divorced...

Now this boy has met someone new via online chatting and has recently married this girl - third time!


I hope everything falls in place for him this time and they live happily ever after😉

Originally posted by: ilove..sidyusha

I have a Friend

the boys have refused to marry her because her parents are divorced.😡

there is no fault of the girl but people don't accept her...

t

Originally posted by: Skepblun

I've witnessed it in real life and also seen many discussions on it online.

Is it fair to have suspicions and stigma against a male or female who's been divorced?

What if people don't get along or marriage doesn't work out for some reason? Don't they have right to move on?
And if the law itself gives them full right to nullify their marriage and move on, then why does society still stigmatise divorcees?

(Same for widows and widowers. If law gives them right to remarry then why society has to bark? What's one's fault if their spouse has expired?)

Is it fair to doubt a person's character if he or she had a failed marriage?

Many couples find happiness in second marriage. They are happy but society or family still barks about them and reminds them of their previously failed relationship.
There are accusations of lack of mental stability, bad fortune or lack of sense, bad character etc. and accusations of trapping some new spouse or marrying out of desperation (likes of Shiv get taunts "ismein koi kami thi kya jo aisi ladki se shaadi kar li"/ or are thought to be fooled and seduced by a divorcee).

Is it fair? Is it justified?

Do you in real life, get repulsed by divorcee tag? Would you reject someone if you knew he or she was a divorcee? Would you feel a sense of "shame" if you or your family member got a divorce?

I'd request members to share their POV on divorce and divorcees and sense of "shame"/"honour" associated with it, here.

I dont know about how divorcees feel or how they are treated by the society ..

But such topics should certainly not be discussed on this forum. This is not the place to discuss it, there may be few divorcess amongst the members who might feel offended.

You must stick to the discussion on BV only.