INDEX
Jealous I
She stared at them her heart breaking into two . Scratch that it wasn't breaking but being ground into the ground with a very hard stiletto heel. Specifically hers
Ganga willed the tears not to come . Although she no longer cared about the appearance she had so carefully worked over for the past 3 hrs there were still a lot of people around her and she would be damned before she let any one of them witness her heartbreak. No, she would tuck this away into some dark corner of her heart , just like she had tucked away almost everything that had been her life . In fact the only memories she preferred reliving was her albeit brief, time with the Singhs. And even that no longer seemed as bright as it had been a few minutes before
It was her fault actually. All of it. Her fault for being unutterably, completely foolish. In fact she was worse than the donkey which stood behind the house. Hadn't she learned her lessons well enough to know what she was and what she was entitled to in life? Apparently not
"Arre Ganga!" she jumped and hastily wiped away the two stray tears that had managed to escape her mental willing.
" Ji Dadisa" she conjured up a watery smile at the dear fond face that was peering up at her
" What are you doing here alone and moping in a corner? It's Sharad Purnima, all of us are gathered here today and instead of enjoying with your old Dadisa you prefer to be alone? Dil toot gaya chori , I'm heartbroken"
Ganga couldn't help but chuckle at the dramatic statement and the wanna-be-devastated expression that accompanied it
"Dadi Sa , I think you should go down and rest. You look like you need to use the washroom immediately" she twinkled back and ducked to avoid the swinging cane which came at her the next second.
"Hush! Badmaash! No respect for the elders this new generation. I..." the words trailed off as Dadisa succumbed to whoops along with Ganga, causing the assembled company to turn and look at the duo with mild surprise
Ganga recovered first. Clutching her aching stomach she pulled out a chair for Dadisa seeing that the old woman was tired. The thought that Dadisa tired more quickly nowadays crossed her mind but she pushed it away hurriedly and fussed around the old lady , tucking a blanket around her
Dadisa smiled up at her contentedly
"I love this day, the Sharad Poornima. Of all the days in the year this is one of my favourites"
Looking up at the great golden moon hanging in the night sky, bathing the terrace and its inhabitants in its glorious light, Ganga had to agree. The scene was breathtakingly beautiful
Dadisa noticed her gaze.
"Oh not that. I have seen more than my fair share of full moons and trust me child, this one isn't all that great compared to some gems of my time". Ganga doubted that
" What I meant was this" she waved a hand indicating the half a dozen people standing around them , chatting , laughing and in some cases, having what looked to be a very private conversation. Ganga tried hard not to look in that direction
" This is one of the few days in the year I get to have my entire family gathered around me. You have no idea how happy that makes me child, especially seeing them happy. Just look at Jagdish there now-he looks happy, not like his usual quiet self"
There was no way to avoid this . She had to look up and see him ...and her. Dreading the inevitable moment Ganga lifted her head and looked over. Just as expected but that didn't stop her face from twisting suddenly and feeling like she had been punched in the stomach
They were standing now. When she had first entered the terrace he had been kneeling before her, her foot in his hands , as he fiddled with it. She was looking down at him, blushing prettily and saying something coyly . In response he had looked up at her and his lips had pulled into an unwilling grin. Ganga had wanted to die
And now they were standing together side by side, the wind ruffling up their hair, without doubt making a very pretty picture to everyone who saw them .
Ganga thought they looked hideous.
More specifically she looked hideous
"Sanchi has grown into a beauty , hasn't she?" Dadisa murmured, her gaze too stuck on the couple. Ganga made a non comittant noise and prayed to every single God she knew that this conversation would end right now
The Gods didn't listen. But then she shouldn't be too surprised because they never had
"Jagya has been so lonely this past year. I don't think he has ever looked as carefree as he is looking now for months"
It had taken Miss Perfect's entry to achieve that, thought Ganga bitterly. Although there had been moments before Sanchi came to Jaitsar, when Ganga saw the boy locked up inside that stern, serious Doctor break out. There had been that moment when he had challenged Nandu to a kite flying competition, when he had piggybacked Mannu over the field- laughing with the infant, when he had burst out laughing at her as she stumbled and ended up rolling down a grassy hill...
He had looked so happy then, so handsome in the afternoon sunlight that she hadn't had the heart to scold him for that .Even after she had found out that he had deliberately "forgotten" to tell her about the 4 pieces of straw stuck in her hair after the rolling , all she could do to him was glare. And that was after she walked through the entire village in that condition.
But it was impossible to be angry at him when his face wore that contrite expression, when he was trying hard to tamp down his laughter but his lips kept tilting up, when his eyes danced at her like that. Ganga swallowed . Foolish, Foolish, Foolish
"What's up ladies?" The loud cheerful voice of Shiv's brother Mahi broke her out of her thoughts. She put up another fake smile and turned around hastily
"We were just enjoying the view, weren't we Ganga" Dadisa spoke with deliberation
"Ah yes" Mahi followed their gaze. "A pretty pair aren't they? Should I start asking him about his intentions?"
Dadisa chuckled" Patience child. One thing I have learnt from life is not to interfere in the course of true love. It will only make things worse" she whispered to them, unaware that she had had a narrow escape of being puked on by Ganga
Ganga felt sick to her stomach. She had to get out of here or else she would hurl
Unfortunately Mahi turned to her at that moment and foiled her plan of unobtrusively sliding out of the terrace
"Well how do you like the festivities, Ganga?" he smiled at her
Her smile plastered on her face , she squeaked out a Very Nice
" I should say so , and so are the ladies here tonight" he winked at her, flustering her even more and eliciting a dry bark of laughter from Dadisa
He edged towards her
" As a matter of fact you look gorgeous tonight. That sari really suits you" he whispered surreptitiously, looking warily at Dadisa out of the corner of his eye
She gaped at him . Her tongue seemed to have stuck to the roof of her mouth. She had known city boys were bold, but experience is very different from theory, she was finding out fast
"Gold thread and stone work. Nice" he noted appreciatively his eyes appraising her.
She stared at him. Somewhere a dog growled.
She knew it was nice. In fact she had thought it was beautiful when Doctor saab had brought it for her from the city. She had tried hard not to read too much into it as he had brought saris for everyone , even for Dadisa.
But she had lain awake at nights wondering if he had spent hours choosing this out for her, wondering if he had thought that the gold in the sari would make her eyes sparkle (as it did) when he chose it. She had peacocked in it in front of the mirror wondering if he would think that she looked pretty in it when she finally wore it and she had spent the last 2 hrs making sure that she arranged it perfectly and showed it off well ,just so he would look at her once with appreciation in his eyes
Foolish, foolish, foolish
She mentally banged her head on the wall before coming back to the present. Mahi was still paying his fulsome compliments. Now that Dadisa had moved over to talk with Anandiji, he had become more dramatic
"In fact of all the ladies here tonight , I declare thee fairest of all" he finished with a flourish, falling to one knee before her
She didn't think she could get any more red than she was now. Her mind registered a crashing sound somewhere near but she was too rattled to focus on it. Covered with confusion she muttered something about Mannu needing to be fed and fled the scene
Before she went down the steps she chanced a look back. He was standing in the same position, except now, he was holding Sanchi's hand in a death grip. She couldn't see his face as he was standing with his back to her, facing Dadisa and Mahi and the rest. If the infatuated expression Sanchi was giving was any indicator of what she might see on his face then she didn't want to know
Tears blinding her eyes, she ran down the stairs , away to somewhere she could cry her heart out in peace
