Why ask this question to the gals only?

First Previous

Page

Next Last

Frequent Posters

Priya

@Rhapsody

Navigator

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

#11

Originally posted by: Jan50
All over the world it was the duty of a man to be the provider. In our scripture too it says "udyogam purushan lakshanam". Men don't get pregnant. It is the woman who gives birth and raises the child while the man protects her and the child. This is law of nature.
Will any woman like a husband who is ready to give up his job and sit at home doing house work.? Women always expect their husbands to be smarter and more capable at carrier.
Ther is no need to get so offended by this question asked to women.

Not always! Men are no longer the only breadwinners. For instance- consider fulltime actresses whose husbands are not in the film industry or female CEOs. I'm pretty sure she would really appreciate it if her husband could help raise the kids and take care of the house while she's out there filming all day long or putting out fires at her company, and indeed, many such partnerships exist. Stay-at-home fathers are not unheard of anymore. It's not good to make assumptions for anyone.

Quote

Bvfan123

@Bvfan123

Beginner

Posted: 13 years ago

#12

I find it depressing to think how women in Mumbai lead their lives. They work 9 hrs a day. spend 3 more hours jammed in local trains (standing more often) and then cook dinner at home. They fix breakfast and lunch in the morning. I think it is not only in-human but also namard of their husbands to not help them out. Just because they are women does not mean they get concessions during office work or they do not get tired. They too are made of flesh and blood for god's sake!

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

AnjanaYYZ

@AnjanaYYZ

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 13 years ago

#13

Please don't get me started on this. I work and will con't to work if I ever marry and I don't care if dude is a zilliionare or penniless. I spent too darn long in school and working to give up what is a huge part of my identity and independence. Not to mention... I can give your average guy TAKKAR in breadwinning if not beat them.

The only appropriate question is how do you feel you will manage work-life expectations. And that's a fair q to a guy as well as a gal. Who wants a husband who contributes financially but is never there physically or emotionally?

Btw... my mythical hub better stay outta my kitchen and take out the garbage and mow the lawn... because I am not doing THAT

Edited by AnjanaYYZ - 13 years ago

Quote

XAiShBaBy08X

@XAiShBaBy08X

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

#14

Originally posted by: AnjanaYYZ
Please don't get me started on this. I work and will con't to work if I ever marry and I don't care if dude is a zilliionare or penniless. I spent too darn long in school and working to give up what is a huge part of my identity and independence. Not to mention... I can give your average guy TAKKAR in breadwinning if not beat them.

The only appropriate question is how do you feel you will manage work-life expectations. And that's a fair q to a guy as well as a gal. Who wants a husband who contributes financially but is never there physically or emotionally?

Btw... my mythical hub better stay outta my kitchen and take out the garbage and mow the lawn... because I am not doing THAT

Haha! You go girl!

Quote

dixie123

@dixie123

Sparkler

Posted: 13 years ago

#15

I don't think there was anything wrong in asking Anandi if she wants to work or not after marriage. It was just the process of knowing her. I am sure nobody would want to marry their daughter to an unemployed man. It is kind of very important for a man to have a job in our society. That said, things are changing at the same time. In the book 'The Richer Sex' the author shows how couples are adjusting to the new thing where the husband becomes stay-at-home-dad and supports the wife through her career.

Quote

tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

#16

I think the question "do you want to work after marriage" is asked to girls from the standpoint of work being strictly an economic activity to earn money.

If the husband is earning more than enough (which shivraj is) ... to support both people and family, then girl need not work is the thinking. There is nothing wrong with this thinking per se.

But a woman can explain that she works not for the money, but to develop her personality, or that she has some talents that she wants to express, or that she finds her work fulfilling and gratifying and it makes her into a better person or a better homemaker.

There are many women who would resent being strictly a stay at home mom wiping noses and dressing up children and taking them to school as a sole duty after marriage ... working gives them fulfilment and makes them happy and they become even better homemakers in the evenings and at night because their juices are re-charged at work.

There was an interview with Pratyusha just last week, where she said that she will continue to work after marriage, but just that it wont be acting ,... she may open an academy, she may do some creative pursuit as a business etc. because she wants to be at home with her kids. From a strict standpoint, this can be seen as unfair ... that a woman wants to give up acting, but that is just the way it is.

Smita Bansal and anup soni's wives are both pregnant.

smita has to take maternity leave, and anup soni doesnt have to take leave even though he is also going to be a parent. Just the way things are.

Edited by tinoo - 13 years ago

Quote

Rumjhum Laha

@Patrarekha

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

#17

Originally posted by: AnjanaYYZ
Please don't get me started on this. I work and will con't to work if I ever marry and I don't care if dude is a zilliionare or penniless. I spent too darn long in school and working to give up what is a huge part of my identity and independence. Not to mention... I can give your average guy TAKKAR in breadwinning if not beat them.

The only appropriate question is how do you feel you will manage work-life expectations. And that's a fair q to a guy as well as a gal. Who wants a husband who contributes financially but is never there physically or emotionally?

Btw... my mythical hub better stay outta my kitchen and take out the garbage and mow the lawn... because I am not doing THAT

hats off to you dear...
i decided i am not going to marry until my career got stabled

Quote

Monamie

@monamie111

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#18

thank u sooo much everyone for the gr8t replies 🤗...i loved everyone's reply here!..

definitely i agree with u all that women are homemaker..and this concept is there since the ancient ages...its not like that i am very ambitious about my career\job or i want to work throughout of my life!! it is also true that whenever i was asked this question i answered something like anandi answered..i never miss-behaved with the person who asked me that question! but somehow inside my mind i hated this question as i think this kind of question depicts the inequality between a man and a woman..this kind of questions does not inspire a woman but states that a woman's desire will always be influenced by some other person of this society..her decisions can not be solely hers!! and i have a fear that someday this disliking inside my mind will be out like a volcano! 😆...and that will affect my family too...and ultimately i will become a saddened person in my life..

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anandi is not an ordinary gal like me...she is doing something exceptional..not everyone can do it! she is making change & development in the society, in people's mind, and in this process she is also developing the economy of a state..right? Shiv's family was impressed hearing about her work..still she was asked if she wants to work after marriage or not! no exception for an exceptional gal too..

when shiv came to kithchen once and helped her in making the halwa i was so happy that he will be there with her all the time to help her 😳...but after watching yesterday's episode..i don know why but i am feeling that after their marriage somehow anandi's work will create problem in the family! 🤔...question will be raised on her coming home late & running to help someone else all the time...

Quote

tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

#19

monamie,

chill !! 😎

I think you are making way too much of a big deal out of this.

Shiv's mom and aunt are from the previous generation in India where marriage and work were either/or choices for women. I know many women doctors (elderly) etc. who could not get married because there were not many families who wanted doctors as wives, daughters-in-law etc. It is very difficult for families of the previous generation to have that kind of orientation that someone can do both.

They think anandi is working because she does not have a husband just now, to keep herself occupied since she has no husband or kids.

And to a certain extent their perception is correct too.

If Jagya had been her beendh, and come home from college to work in the hospital in jayetsar, would dadisa have allowed anandi to become sarpanch or to work outside the home? No. Would dadisa allow gehna to be a teacher? No.

The only reason that anandi is a sarpanch is because dadisa saw that she has no beendh.

So why should we fault shiv's family for asking this question?

The aunt just asked a question for the sake of making conversation. It is not as if - if anandi says yes, i want to work, then she will have objections or make a big deal of it. It is not an arranged marriage where she has that much say. shiv has already made his decision to marry her.

And the biggest point in this is that we need not see anandi as a victim either of her own family or of shiv's family in the future.

At this point, anandi is fully educated and fully independent to step out on her own and not be in the clutches of either family if it does not suit her. She gets into situations because it suits her.

The reason things have come to this sorry state of affairs of being forced again into a remarriage is because she insisted on living with the singhs. If she had taken bapusa's offer of studying for college or something, she would have gone to the city and living in a hostel and having a great life without any force being inflicted on her. So no need to sympathize that her career is being destroyed by shivs family or anything. if she wants it she can take a stand.

Quote

Monamie

@monamie111

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#20

Originally posted by: bluerobin
yaar mona , very tricky question . I will try to answer . A man works , his wife also works. The lady has to work more :- in office, after reaching home do all domestic work , look after children . But when husband returns from work a cup of tea should be ready for him . But nobody thinks of giving a cup of tea to the wife who works more and is more stressed out than the husband . People , I mean society made rules and people are still following it . Hope someday will arrive in the future when men will also think of preparing a cup of tea and give it to his wife .

aparna..i agree with u!! 😳...but don u think that we women are also responsible that these rules are still the same? not becoz we are r tolerating..but becoz we are not trying to make any changes in the mentality of our kids!!...one day they will be adult and what we will teach them at home at their childhood..they will learn that only..they will become that only!

my son is gonna be someone else's husband in future...so i think what kind of a husband he will be in future is somehow depends on what i will teach him today!..teaching ur son to help his wife at the kitchen or making a cup of tea for ur wife will not harm u or ur son instead it falls under ur duty..so just think about it gals..😳

Quote

1 2 3

Why ask this question to the gals only? - Page 2

Related Topics

Explore Topics