Us ourselves vs. what we represent

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

To this date, I have not been able to figure out whether J fell in love with (and still is with) G -- because of some innate characteristics that she herself had which appealed to him -- or whether she represented something that he craved ("modernity")

How can I distinguish this with individuals who want to befriend me -- ie whether it is me really or whether it is something that i represent?

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Monamie

@monamie111

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

i have no idea J really loved G or not..and of course G also really loved J or not..i m waiting for the CVs input in this matter..😛

but yes it is very difficult to understand what a person exactly thinks when he\she wants to be my fren..is that person really likes me..really wants to be a good fren..if tomorrow i'll show my anger to that person..will that person still continue liking me with all my deficiency? i don't know if there is any such formula to understand human minds...i think there is none..human mind is the most complex thing to understand..😛

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: asru
Not sure about this..whatever the reasons could be, it is certain that G never gave J a chance to prove his love!! She was too much in a hurry!! So we still don't know if J's love for G is true or not!

Actually, I am not talking about romantic love -- I am exploring a completely different situation but I like this point you've made ... even though it doesnt completely answer my question

Yes, she should have made J prove her love in this situation by asking him to get a divorce initially (even though there was no legal marriage to divorce in their minds at the time, but still asked him to close the chapter with A) , atleast asking him to get a divorce after she found the marriage was illegal, and forcing him to get a divorce when she found she was with child.

In all cases, she was a little late in asking for these things (though she did ask after much water had flown down the bridge) -- and he has conveniently said no -- he is an escapist by nature.

So, he has told her very clearly that divorce from A not possible -- so he loves her only to the extent that he does not have to get a divorce -- if he does, he wont go forward.

consequently, he doesnt really love her per se but the idea of living with her.

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Purva

@-Purva-

Dazzler

+ 5

Posted: 13 years ago

For Jagya, Gauri was an ideal in many ways that Anandi wasn't.

She was the girl who needed his protection on the first day arousing his protective male instinct. Contrast it with Anandi who shielded him. In his relation with Anandi she was always the stronger one.

Afterwards, when he saw Gauri settle down in the college life, again he was contrasting her with Anandi who refused to wear the modern clothes he bought for her when they came to Mumbai.

Later it was the girl who was successful and sought after, the girl he had to chase. Again contrast with Anandi as the girl who was always available.

So for him it was never love but once he made that commitment to her, then she became more of a lifestyle choice. Living in village with his family with Anandi as the wife who spent her life in the kitchen versus the Working Doctor wife who gave a modern Double Income Single Child family.

So for his Gauri is not a person he loves but an embodiment of what she represents.

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Purva

@-Purva-

Dazzler

+ 5

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: tinoo

How can I distinguish this with individuals who want to befriend me -- ie whether it is me really or whether it is something that i represent?

I have a simple rule of thumb for this, call up a person out of the blue and tell them that you need them. It could be something trivial - a lift from one point to another, to pick up something for you from near their home, pass a message to someone for you. Anything, and just gauge how much importance that person would give your request. Most often you would not even have to pick up the phone to make that call, because you know how the person would react. True success in life is keeping the people who fill your life with meaningless chatter at arm's length and identifying and appreciating the few who bring happiness to you.

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Nisha

@KyunkiImafan

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

I do not believe either of them love each other. Both of them do whatever is convenient for them, with their selfish motives. They never take a decision together. They are always ready to blame eachother. They don't even know eachother well. If G let her be 1st, 2nd or 3rd illegal wife...doesn't matter but if she so loved J, she would not keep on doubting him. Both can't share all things with eachother. They both are with eachother for different reasons. G had options, but when she found out he was married and that she was married to him in childhood...taa daa she was all ready to marry him! Remember when she got to haveli and told DS I am the same girl, you wanted me as haveli's beendni then so whats the problem now! Since their so called marriage, both have lied to eachother over and over and over. J is stuck, he doesn't want to tell the world that he made a wrong choice, he wanted a modern girl, instead got a girl who constantly looks for ways to blame him. I love how she has made him a servant..hahahhaha.

Anyways, what they have can never be considered LOVE. They don't even respect eachother. You can not love when you can't respect.

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Nisha

@KyunkiImafan

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: tinoo

How can I distinguish this with individuals who want to befriend me -- ie whether it is me really or whether it is something that i represent?

Complicated yet simple at times!

Simple way to find - of course when a person is in need, when he or she is having a not-so-happy/good life, the people who are there to help, support not the ones who enjoy surely are the ones who are worth of friendship/love/relationship.

Complicated - When a person is having the happy/good life, then observing other's daily interactions to pick up their intentions will tell what they are in for.

Sometimes its tougher but a person who truly cares is usually the one who makes a place in heart without a doubt in mind.

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Monamie

@monamie111

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: asru

Monamie, If u think that someone might dislike u when u show ur anger..then u need not worry about that friendship/love relation...just let go off that person!! Cuz u can't be in ur best of moods all ur life!! If someone can understand u and love u despite ur weaknesses, then u really need to hold on to that person..cuz it's really difficult to find such people and that is called genuine love whether it is from a friend or a life partner!

thank u soo much Asru for telling me so sweet things..🤗

yes so true..it is very hard to find someone who will accept me with all my weakness..🤔

and of course the person who can't accept me with my weakness and can't stay with me when i m in sorrow or when everything is not good in life..that person is not a true fren!!..

so i think Tinoo..u can judge..who is there with u at the tough time of life..that person is ur true fren..

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anshansh

@anshansh

Inactive

Posted: 13 years ago

😆 since last one year their selfish cheter character has been justified by the cv's that they don't care for others and want what they like right or wrong and G'S selfish mother is supportive in her deeds and can commit wrong to others to any extent
gauri lured jagya by parties gifts nothing else
jagya lured himself to modern city life nothing else he got just proved selfish idiot man😕😕😕😕😕

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moon1209

@moon1209

Beginner

Posted: 13 years ago

#10

The base of evry LOVE relation is trust...but the base of JG's relation is a bundle of LIES...so for me the relation is NOT a true one wen d person involved is not true...

J,himself is a CONFUSED person...In both cases he has always needed someone who suited d purpose...when he was in village A was d perfect one n in d city life G can fill d place of an educated so-called modern wife...

Till now Jagya only LOVES HIMSELF...

lets see wat CV's shows us...

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