The case: Phooli Vs Gauri - Page 4

@ hooked - i am not talking about you only but in general. In this forum, I have not read too much bashing of Phooli's parents or Phooli. I have read posts where justifications have been given on behalf of phooli's parents also.

As far Phooli is concerned, she just opposed the marriage and did not give any concrete plan before her father to solve their problem. Had she listened to Anandi and talked with Bhairon about the money and her job and then told her father that she has arranged everything to repay their debt, then may be her father would not have threatened her with suicide.

Though I have doubt about it because Phooli's parents also wanted to get her married by hook or crook - even at the cost of natha pratha. But at least, Phooli would have done her best from her side.

So isn't Phooli weak? Why could not she stand firm on her decision? There are girls in real life who are even younger and less educated than Phooli but they battled with everyone to stop their child marriage. I have made a post about them also in this forum.

Reason for Phooli's weakness can be given as love for her parents, but it cannot be denied that Phooli was weak. She chose her loved ones instead of the right path.

I have stated that Gauri was weak - she was weak for J and still is. She blindly believed J and thought that his happiness is with her. She forgot her self-respect, she forgot her family prestige, she forgot about her own well-being.

As Gauri herself has stated to Shivani, she blindly believed J and thought that he only loves her and cannot live without her. That's why she thought that moving out of J's life won't make any difference in the long run. Even if we think that she was selfish and that's why she tried to make some excuses to herself, but it cannot be denied that Gauri thought about J's happiness too in the whole scheme. She did NOT marry J ONLY to satisfy her ego. Then she would have run after J and told him to marry her to compensate for the cheating.

I have never stated that Gauri has done a great job by being weak and gullible. But overlooking one person's weakness and gullible behavior completely, and bashing another person left, right, and center for a weak decision is what I find surprising.

Now coming to the child issue- Gauri was not thinking of abortion after Jagat insisted on having the child.

She discussed about the illegality problem of the child with Jagat and told him clearly that they have to depend on A's ehsaan forever specially because of the child.
She told Jagat that the family think their marriage illegal, hence they will think their child illegal. G had full knowledge that the child will hardly make any difference to their life. She tried to make Jagat understand. Again Jagat told her that she is thinking too much about it and he is there to tackle every situation.

So she got ready for the child after Jagat insisted. Once again, she trusted Jagat.

If you think that Gauri got ready because she thought that her ticket to the haveli is the child, then please see the episodes once again. It was completely J's illusion that problems will be solved after having the child.

When she came to mumbai, she was not thinking about aborting the child. They told everyone about it. Her friends again reminded her of her career and the hardship she will face. Again she got into a dilemma. She has to choose between Jagat's wish+her baby and her career + illegitimacy issue.

Then , at that time, Shivani convinced her to have the baby. If G would have been SELFISH PERSONIFIED as she has been described, she would not have got convinced with Shivani's argument. What did Shivani told her? She told her that the child will get share in the property. Shivani did not tell her that J's family can accept her after having the child. So, the assumption that Gauri did it with the hope of getting accepted in the Singh family is just an assumption only. G was in a dilemma, and she got confidence to have the child irrespective of other issues after Shivani's talk.

If G would not have thought about Jagat's wish and if she would have given priority to her career+illegitimacy issue, she would have aborted the child. Any selfish person would have done it because, if we think in terms of loss and gain, there is more chance of loss than gain in having the child.

She was asked to stay in the haveli by DS, then got taunted by each family member. DS did not physically forced them to stay, but Gauri stayed for her and Jagat's sake. It was not only G who was happy at that time, but J too.

Gauri dragged Jagya to Jetsar. Agreed. But if the family would have accepted the relationship, then more than her, Jagat would have reaped the benefit.

In all her major decisions, Gauri has thought about Jagat. May be she did not think about others, but saying that Gauri only thought about herself only and never about Jagat, surprises me.

The only expectation that Gauri has from J is that he lose touch with A completely. But J, even after giving an impression that he has no emotional touch with A, showed some different behavior. It started from Jetsar itself. Gauri saw J running after A's jeep, she saw them in the cowshed, she saw J praising about A, she saw J is saying sorry to A - her insecurities started.

It is J who is conveniently changing equations of relationships as per his whims and convenience. J can save Anandi by putting his life in danger, but what G can see is that J did not put his career or life at stake for getting the divorce. Forget about the divorce, J did not even support her when she put her career at stake for Shivani.

J can take money from Anandi and keep it a secret, but he has problem when he finds G has given installments for the car.

J can ask G to shut her mouth if she talks against A, but J did not ask the villagers to shut their mouth when they blamed G in their first visit.


As far as DS is concerned, what punishment did she get? Panchayat asked her to apologize, she had a tiff with her son Bhairon. But that too - only for some days. Then her ladesar went against the family. J did not do it purposely to punish DS. J tried to butter DS and had been always polite to her. DS rejected J and now she is happy with the way life is going on. She knows that J is well and good in Mumbai, hence she does not have too much concern. At the same time, by not supporting J directly, she is happily living with the family.

DS did not suffer the way Gauri's parents had suffered. Same crime but different punishments.

G and her parents remembers the panchayat's decision very well. But when G married J after being adult, they saw the whole situation from legal perspective and JG's happiness. G thought they are going to be legally married and J and she would be happy in their marriage.

If marriage or getting social and legal acceptance was the only concern of G then she would not have stayed with J after knowing her status. If one argues that she stayed with J to keep him away from A, then one should remember that G was leaving J and not vice versa. Her ego was already satisfied because J left his family for her. G stayed in the relationship for J. If anyone does not want to believe it, then that's his/her problem.

It's surprising to see that when G loves J and does things like arranging birthday party or supporting J, she has been taunted. Again, when she asserts her rights over J and wants J to listen to her wishes, she is again bashed!!!!

doyel: nobody is denying that Gauri arranged birthday parties for Jagya and it does show her love but the point is arranging birthday parties did not call for any compromise of Gauri's own interests. Whenever there has been a clash between Jagya's interests and wishes versus Gauri's interests and wishes, Gauri has always looked into her own interest first.

1. Jagya-Gauri marriage. Why did Gauri agree to marry Jagya? Was it because she took pity on Jagya and decided to sacrifice her life for his happiness or did she want to save Anandi out of philanthropic reasons? NO. She married Jagya precisely because she was convinced that the marriage will work in her best interest. She was ensured of Jagya's loyalty to her, she could avert the emotional loss of breaking a five year old r'ship and moreover she could score over the Singh family. All in all, it was a win win situation for Gauri. If she had sensed any prospect of loss or suffering (that she is going through now) before the marriage, she would not have undertaken it, no matter what Jagya might have felt. So the marriage was undertaken, and Gauri's parents also agreed, keeping Gauri's interests in mind. If Jagya's offer did not seem good enough to Gauri, she would not have agreed to it just for Jagya's sake.

2. The ashirwaad mission. I do not agree with you at all that Gauri's ashirwaad mission was done with Jagya's well being in mind. Yes, it would have made sense if it was only his family that was present there---then Gauri's gesture would have been a gesture of reconciling the son with the family. But the catch is the family that Gauri visited also consisted of the first wife. Now tell me honestly, would you ever forcibly drag your husband to face his ex , unless you have an ulterior motive of showing off to his ex? During that visit Jagya was uncomfortable and guilty every time he met Anandi, didn't Gauri foresee that? What was Gauri's motive in insisting for a shared room or suhaag raat in front of Anandi, if her only objective was to pacify the elders? Whose well being was she thinking about when she dragged Jagya to a family that is already distraught and upset with their son and where Jagya will have to face the very girl with whom he recently had a bitter breakup? My answer is she was NOT thinking about Jagya here, she was only concerned about her own bahu rights and her obsession with "Iss bar woh log mujhe apna lenge"

3. The baby. The decision to keep the baby was again not for Jagya's sake. The trajectory of decision and indecision that you provided is correct, but I look at it in a different way.
a) Gauri decides to abort the baby first.
b) Jagya tells her everything will be fine, he is there to handle everything. The scene after Gauri's meltdown ends with Jagya pacifying her. There is no indication that Gauri makes a final decision to keep the baby. They just leave for Mumbai.
c) Gauri does NOT tell everyone about her pregnancy. In the house her parents welcome her and she is pretty taken aback when her colleagues congratulate her, because Jagya had already shared the news. Gauri is again in dilemma to abort.
d) Gauri takes a final decision to keep the baby only after talking to Shivani. Now what does Shivani tell her? That (i) the baby will get all rights and more importantly (ii) as a woman shivani missed out on her motherhood, so Gauri should not let go off her own chance of becoming a mother. Gauri is convinced.
Now where does Jagya's emotions come in here? When does Gauri take this decision because Jagya wanted so? Gauri-Shivani's discussion of motherhood does not include Jagya dynamics, the whole point was that there should be a child to call your own and evade the loneliness of a woman's life (even if there is no husband later like shivani).
Here too, it is only after Gauri is convinced of her own gains in having the child that she decides to keep the child. Jagya's wishes mattered only when her own wishes were fulfilled.

4. Now the final question. Why doesn't Gauri leave Jagya in spite of everything? Well, she herself gave the answer yesterday. Did you hear carefully what she told Shivani after ranting about Anandi and her own insecurities? She said "mujhe daar lagta hai woh Jagat ko mujhse chheen kar leke chali jayegi, main haar jayungi". It all boils down to the question of her win and loss over Anandi. She has always been in a covert competition with Anandi, and sees Anandi as her eternal competitor, so much so that he measures her own success, her own suffering, her own name, her own identity always in comparison to Anandi. Keeping Jagya to herself is also part of that constant competition-------I am not saying she does not love him at all------but she loves herself and her own ego much more than Jagat.
She will be happy for Jagya, will do things for him, will make him happy, as long as her own interests and happiness is served. If there is ever any happiness for Jagya that excludes her own happiness---like the diwali sequence---she will not be content. She just cannot look beyond herself, no matter who the other person is.

Anyway, I guess we are never going to agree on this, so lets just put forward our respective perspectives and amicably agree to disagree. 😛

Coming back to Phooli issue, read this interesting article on Indian surrogacy laws: http://www.expressindia.com/latest-news/Baby-biz-Indian-set-to-trump-global-surrogacy-laws/375458/

Originally posted by: woman11

Coming back to Phooli issue, read this interesting article on Indian surrogacy laws: http://www.expressindia.com/latest-news/Baby-biz-Indian-set-to-trump-global-surrogacy-laws/375458/

@antara v.well said 4 ur above post👏👏👏 &thanx 4 sharing this news article!!

Originally posted by: tiny15

@antara v.well said 4 ur above post👏👏👏 &thanx 4 sharing this news article!!

i agree that G luvs J but she keeps her interest 1st priority just like J does. an di don't think any true luver"ll or wud'd done like these 2 r behaving. both of them think that they luv each oder but both don't know the meaning of luv leave alons true luv. i agree that unconditional luv is rare but ppl atleast do take care of their luved ones & feel happiness in their happiness. but here its reverse if G gets happy then J bcums unhappy & vice-versa.

and ppl r saying that G is being taunted 4 arranging b'day parties 4 J but didn't sum ppl taunted A 4 her doing gud 4 J or teaching elders of village??and G was taunted 4 her thinking of arranging b'day parties as a symbol of luv but wenever J's true happiness is concerned she gets unhappy. by saying this i don't want2 absolve of J of the same thing or i m sympathising wid J. i m happy that now J is getting his own bitter medicine 2 taste but wen G"ll taste the same bitter pill shes giving 2 J though shes equally at fault now!!🤢🤢

and arranging b'day parties doesn't mean luving sum1. we've seen so many celeberities & even common ppl who arrange such lavish parties 4 their luv but nxt month or yr. they r again arranging the lavish b'day parties but 4 difft prsn.🤢

and G is equally responsible 4 whole of this mess. shes not an innocent.phooli is not weak but G is weak bcoz she shouts each & every time & blames oders esply A!!

Gauri is an educated woman who lives in the city and not bound by customs and traditions of a small town like Phooli...

If you remember, after marriage when Bhairon and everyone had chastised Gauri and Jagya

Gauri had stopped the car in between and had asked jagya to leave her...

As @woman1 has said, Gauri has always been in competition with Anandi and oes not think of J's happiness...

Gauri very well knew the consequences b4 the marriage and she should not seek sympathy from anybody...

G is being accused of being selfish, JAG GAURI MARIAGE-tel if at al anandi died ,ds wud decide to get g back in family wud g say yes?obviously nt ,it was very evident dat her heart melted down when j said i have only u in my life n if u also leave i wil die,again when she took j to haveli ,it was also keeping in mind of j n herself ,she dint want to b a person or culprit who snatched their son frm family,in haveli there have been so many times she fought for j,coming to child issue-she was clear enough that she dint want a child as of now,bt it was for j hapiness that she kept quite,bt she was somewhere scared becoz her baby might go through injustice,she knew her marriage was ilegal so dat was making more messy,after shivani explained bacha toh bacha hota hai,yeh kaide toh duniya ne banaye hain n then her doubts were cleared.tel me one thing if g never bothered j interest she wud ever go in delima wether she should give birth to kid.n leaving in ilegal marriage was also nt decision she dint leave jag for whom ,for obviously him.she had even refused to share bed with him due to illegality ,everywhere she had her opinions bt she always took care of jagya hapiness,when one is termed selfish? when dat person thinks of her hapines n doesnt care for other hapiness n gauri always cared for j.if ul think being with j is abt wining the battle with A then let me remind ul she was the one to tel jagya dat she is leaving.