Posted:
hi...nice discussion and great points...
however, i'll, disagree a bit with the point tht modern day feminist independent women, make it a matter of male chauvinism..every time men fail to do housework. In India, a lot of domestic help is available...so managing housework shouldn't be so much of an issue between a man and woman especially in a double income family. Infact why would men and women fight over housework, when there's anyways so less to do-with dhobi/bartanwaali/cook/gardener/cleaning help...with soo much help I don't understand why would just ANY couple fight over work...and if whtever little house chores remain--if they dont want to EVEN that, then God help them...!!!...Maybe some people do cooking on their own...but I don't see a problem if cooking is the ONLY chore they need to take care of--be it men or women. Some people are really spoilt---they want to order tea, every few hours...leave their dishes and clothes around...whether they are men/women, they should be outrightly told to do their basic stuff themselves, whether they are working or not--whatever gender they belong to.
however...in other countries where women have to do laundry, cooking, dishes jobs, focus on career growth, drive around----help from men is expected...but if men are lazy because of the way they were brought up...its very frustrating for women. I know very few women, who sit around lazying--while there husbands do the house chores...in most cases of working women abroad, I find women are over worked, while men have a hard time doing their share of house chores. Exceptions are there...but in such stressful conditions lot of women lose their patience...because if they are efficiently working 15/16 hours a day...they would expect some level of efficiency from men too...I guess the frustration might sometimes come from the stress of work--more than from the ideas of feminism.
Yeah modern women expect equality...and to some extent they are given equality too...but doesnt mean they're lazying around----so probably sometimes women might get frustrated seeing men taking things too easy or slow or carelessly, when they themselves have to work like hell. But back in India, equipped with a complete army of domestic help---if men and women still fight about that teenie weenie bit of remaining work...I think then both of them are just lazy!
in Jagya's and Gauri's case...from the updates I can gather that it was about him promising to do a piece of work, and at the last moment telling her that its not been done. If someone owns up something they should do it, or they should not own it up...so I guess its not about division of work between man/woman..I think its about just two people ...irrespective of their genders----I guess anyone would get annoyed if the other promises something, and at the last moment tells the other that it has not been done. So I don't see it as a gender based problem...if Jagya had been at Gauri's place and if he had gotten annoyed ... I would have considered it normal too.
Abt oily stuff...I feel if someone doesn't want to eat greasy stuff-just let them eat whtever he/she wants to...without being too touchy about it. I mean if I had a partner who didn't want to eat oily paranthaas made by me...I would ask him to go help himself with oatmeal, while I treat myself royally with additional paranthaaas !!!...why should ur partners love be measured by the number of oily paranthaas he eats 😕???/...why should anyone--man or woman take it as a personal insult??😆...frankly I don't feel Gauri is treating Jagya bad or anything...or that Jagya is paying off for wht he did to Anandi. I think on his busy and stressful days, Jagya might sometimes lose patience too , like Gauri did..and tht would be ok too...after all, we all are humans-men or women--we all get tired and stressed of work sometimes, we all get annoyed sometimes...its ok to understand our partner's stressful conditions sometimes, again irrespective of our genders. Men or women doing little bit of housework that is temporarily not appreciated..or even questioned, because the other one is preoccupied/stressed out is probably not wht I'd relate to exploitation/feminism/male chauvinism etc...:)
however, i'll, disagree a bit with the point tht modern day feminist independent women, make it a matter of male chauvinism..every time men fail to do housework. In India, a lot of domestic help is available...so managing housework shouldn't be so much of an issue between a man and woman especially in a double income family. Infact why would men and women fight over housework, when there's anyways so less to do-with dhobi/bartanwaali/cook/gardener/cleaning help...with soo much help I don't understand why would just ANY couple fight over work...and if whtever little house chores remain--if they dont want to EVEN that, then God help them...!!!...Maybe some people do cooking on their own...but I don't see a problem if cooking is the ONLY chore they need to take care of--be it men or women. Some people are really spoilt---they want to order tea, every few hours...leave their dishes and clothes around...whether they are men/women, they should be outrightly told to do their basic stuff themselves, whether they are working or not--whatever gender they belong to.
however...in other countries where women have to do laundry, cooking, dishes jobs, focus on career growth, drive around----help from men is expected...but if men are lazy because of the way they were brought up...its very frustrating for women. I know very few women, who sit around lazying--while there husbands do the house chores...in most cases of working women abroad, I find women are over worked, while men have a hard time doing their share of house chores. Exceptions are there...but in such stressful conditions lot of women lose their patience...because if they are efficiently working 15/16 hours a day...they would expect some level of efficiency from men too...I guess the frustration might sometimes come from the stress of work--more than from the ideas of feminism.
Yeah modern women expect equality...and to some extent they are given equality too...but doesnt mean they're lazying around----so probably sometimes women might get frustrated seeing men taking things too easy or slow or carelessly, when they themselves have to work like hell. But back in India, equipped with a complete army of domestic help---if men and women still fight about that teenie weenie bit of remaining work...I think then both of them are just lazy!
in Jagya's and Gauri's case...from the updates I can gather that it was about him promising to do a piece of work, and at the last moment telling her that its not been done. If someone owns up something they should do it, or they should not own it up...so I guess its not about division of work between man/woman..I think its about just two people ...irrespective of their genders----I guess anyone would get annoyed if the other promises something, and at the last moment tells the other that it has not been done. So I don't see it as a gender based problem...if Jagya had been at Gauri's place and if he had gotten annoyed ... I would have considered it normal too.
Abt oily stuff...I feel if someone doesn't want to eat greasy stuff-just let them eat whtever he/she wants to...without being too touchy about it. I mean if I had a partner who didn't want to eat oily paranthaas made by me...I would ask him to go help himself with oatmeal, while I treat myself royally with additional paranthaaas !!!...why should ur partners love be measured by the number of oily paranthaas he eats 😕???/...why should anyone--man or woman take it as a personal insult??😆...frankly I don't feel Gauri is treating Jagya bad or anything...or that Jagya is paying off for wht he did to Anandi. I think on his busy and stressful days, Jagya might sometimes lose patience too , like Gauri did..and tht would be ok too...after all, we all are humans-men or women--we all get tired and stressed of work sometimes, we all get annoyed sometimes...its ok to understand our partner's stressful conditions sometimes, again irrespective of our genders. Men or women doing little bit of housework that is temporarily not appreciated..or even questioned, because the other one is preoccupied/stressed out is probably not wht I'd relate to exploitation/feminism/male chauvinism etc...:)
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