Viewing our value through the eyes of others

tinoo thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#1
I think that one of the reasons Jagya is embarassed about anandi is that he perceives her 'gawarpan' as something that will diminish his value in the eyes of others... and gauri and her education and modernity increase his value in the eyes of others.
But I find myself doing the same thing - I too want a "trophy husband" so that people will say "wow tinoo must be really valueable if she can score a husband like that" (shallow I know, dont hit me - just being honest and sifting through my values. šŸ˜†šŸ˜†)
I really want to be like Lal singh who just didnt care what anyone thought of him, his child marriage or his gawar wife. He is so grounded in who he is and values himself so much that he proudly introduced koyal to his 'modern friends'. He didnt need a glamorous doctor wife to add to his value.
I identify with Jagya in many ways - and am glad this serial came along because it has caused me to think about my own self-esteem issues - and has struck a chord in me.
I want to get to a point where I can just be me -- and no external entity can add or subtract any value from me.
I am not really asking a specific question per se ... but any comments or insights that this triggers off are more than welcome from all of you. It will be very, very helpful to me.
Edited by tinoo - 14 years ago

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vm69 thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#2
I dont think that looking for a "trophy husband" is bad. If this is what you really really want.
But just dont deceive anybody and be honest about it !
tanvismile thumbnail
16th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 14 years ago
#3
Anandi was inteligent enough to become so i dnt think he left anandi for that reason his reason was he liked someone. coming to u,i dnt think its wrong to high expections of husband.u have the right for best,stay positive.i dnt say being more educated is imp ,other qualities r also imp what is there to expect both. [;)]
woman11 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#4
yes yes a trophy husband is a great idea, better so get a husband first, test him for some time, and if you find a better upgrade, switch to that one. It's just like changing your cellphones, who would want to carry their old nokia models with i-phones in the market!😳

And of course Jagya fell in love with Gauri because he loved Gauri as a person. Even if Gauri was an uneducated village girl, wearing traditional clothes and a potential for being a housewife, Dr.Jagat would have fallen for her and would have proudly flaunted her in front of his other shahri daactaar friends. The problem lay totally with Anandi, not in her social status, nor in her rural disposition, it's solely about the person Anandi herself why Jagya left her. Who can stand her anyway? 🤣


hppppp thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#5
Most young boys are like Jagya...in terms of beong fickle about love...and though he is the supposed monster...but his parents cannot completely shrug of the responsibilty of putting a girl to sleep with him as a wife at a stage, where MOST men are emotionally fickle about love...

When boys attain puberty, they would not care much about established rules...apart from feeling the attraction towards opposite sex. The feeling of attraction is just so high in case of a teenaged boy who's close to being an adult...that he feels high level of attraction woman/girl who is approachable --he feels like calling it "love"...but that's just hormones he hasn't learnt to control...

When he has moved into a young adult stage...he is governed by the desire to make all his dreams come true...but by then--he has seen the world outside school, and now he has a feeling of what kind of woman he wants--and yes, a LOT of guys, if they really feel that a woman fits exactly into his frame of "perfect" woman--would go to any length for her...including lying to parents, and infact they would lie to anybody...

Honestly, we can hate Jagya...but lot of boys are very, very similar to Jagya in terms of being fickle about love...and a lot of them understand responsibilty only little later in their lives--when they undertake the responsibility of marriage in complete sense--while providing for the wife and children...but until that stage really enters a guy's life...lot of guys will be confused...lie about their own feelings...about their own actions.

Parents are experienced people...they should advise their daughters to take their time in getting married to a guy who is passing through an adloescent/young adult phase... ..YES our grand fathers did get married at 17 and stayed loyal to their child brides...but they didn't have too many options either! finding and dating a woman on their own too!

I think parents who encourage young women to sleep with the young guys in their "Fickle" stage as wives are the ones to blame really. They have seen the world...and know what boys are! Hate these boys, if you must...but hating cannot solve a problem...finding a solution in "realistic" scenario is more practical, than crying over diminishing ideals!
hppppp thumbnail
16th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#6

Originally posted by: tinoo

I think that one of the reasons Jagya is embarassed about anandi is that he perceives her 'gawarpan' as something that will diminish his value in the eyes of others... and gauri and her education and modernity increase his value in the eyes of others.

But I find myself doing the same thing - I too want a "trophy husband" so that people will say "wow tinoo must be really valueable if she can score a husband like that" (shallow I know, dont hit me - just being honest and sifting through my values. šŸ˜†šŸ˜†)
I really want to be like Lal singh who just didnt care what anyone thought of him, his child marriage or his gawar wife. He is so grounded in who he is and values himself so much that he proudly introduced koyal to his 'modern friends'. He didnt need a glamorous doctor wife to add to his value.
I identify with Jagya in many ways - and am glad this serial came along because it has caused me to think about my own self-esteem issues - and has struck a chord in me.
I want to get to a point where I can just be me -- and no external entity can add or subtract any value from me.
I am not really asking a specific question per se ... but any comments or insights that this triggers off are more than welcome from all of you. It will be very, very helpful to me.



if you want a "trophy husband"...go get him girl...nothing wrong in knowing what you want in life...😳...
ankit111 thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail Fascinator 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#7
Wanting a prize husband or dream wife is not bad, but trying to update ur existing husband or wife is not good for me, becoz there is no limit of updates and dream and u can't keep updating everyday. In certain things u hv to adjust urself. If u keep dreaming a better options even after ur marriage thn u can't be loyal to ur partner and thn there is no meaning of marriage.
intruderfast thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Trailblazer Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 14 years ago
#8

i agree ankit but then this is the issue of child marriage , and child marriage is not a small issue here cannot be overlooked.

i know u will say he accepted her after 18 and blah blah but then even 18 is not the right age , u cant expect everyone to be serious abt marriage at the age of 18
ankit111 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#9

Originally posted by: intruderfast

i agree ankit but then this is the issue of child marriage , and child marriage is not a small issue here cannot be overlooked.

i know u will say he accepted her after 18 and blah blah but then even 18 is not the right age , u cant expect everyone to be serious abt marriage at the age of 18

For some people even 30 is not rit age to marry, and Jogia is one of thmšŸ˜†šŸ˜† u can cover up his adultery under Child marriage, but do u think his behaviour is still as mature person?? he still keep lying, his reasoning, his way of handeling the situation, his logics, his behaviour show this person will never growšŸ˜†šŸ˜† if he is so matured and so responsible, and his this updated marriage is result of child marriage mistake, thn why he still remember romantic scenes with Anandi, why he still comparing A with G😔
vasuja thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#10
Being in love with Anandi at 18 years is immaturity but loving Gauri at the same age is true... Ok whatever ...I don't give a damn...But which educated smart couple get married at 23 when neither their future financial condition is not settled. People in love wait for years to settle down and get married. In GAGA's case their was no reason to hurry:

Gauri's parents would have agreed her marrying anyone even an underground daada...All Gauri has to do is speak of true love. They were waiting to get rid of her...So Gauri has no threat from her parents.

Jagat has left his parents and his wife. According to him child marriage is illegal and it will remain illegal even after 3 to 4 years. Since his parents stopped all the communication with him and he was ready to leave his family for Gauri why the hurry to marry??

I can understand Jaggu's hurry to marry, becoz he must have felt that if Gauri gets to know the full truth she may not marry him. If Gauri knew about so many badduahs then she would have thought for a sec atleast. I understand Jaggu's hurry to marry and secure a trophy wife

But why did Gauri hurry to marry Jaggu??? for kunda thai or did she think Jaggu is the trophy husband who she should not let go

Jaggu a trophy husbandšŸ˜†šŸ˜†šŸ˜†šŸ˜†šŸ˜†šŸ˜†šŸ˜†šŸ˜†šŸ˜†

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