Obligations in marriage

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hppppp

@hppppp

Inactive

Posted: 14 years ago

Many things that Gauri and Jagya are doing appear weird and unrealistic to me...e.g. not even trying to find out the legalities while marrying someone, Jagya's begging money from Anandi, Gauri's constant asking for family approval etc etc...( I feel its unrealistic to show any MBBS doctor ...SO unrealistically unaware of marital laws even in case of their OWN marriage!...or for that matter even so financially dependent when banks are competing to give students loans for professional education...All this looks just so weird..!!)

However, for this discussion, lets keep all this discussion,legalities of marriage, and discussions on parents approval necessary/not necessary, children born/not borne etc... on one side...and focus exclusively on the obligations of a man and woman married to each other. Because this serial makes me think to what extent commitment in marriage be enforced...and what do we Indians feel about it...?

NOW...say a man, who has a dependent and devoted wife...falls in love with another woman...and feels that he cannot love his devoted wife(who has no fault) any more, and for the rest of his life he will only "love" the other woman...and he cannot be happy ever with his wife. Lets assume he tries to love his wife...but keeps thinking about this other woman.

--Should he continue to make compromises for the rest of his life, and keep loving the other woman...while suppressing his feelings?

OR...

--Should he give the wife due alimony...settlement...maintenance... apologize...and ask for divorce from his wife, to marry the other woman?

anything else...?

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494651

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Posted: 14 years ago

Of course 2nd option treat U'r ex as a human being and he should let her know that he has fallen out of love and there is nothing wrong in that no one has to suffocate them selves in a relationship but be responsible, be humane and respect your spouse, In Bv case J hasn't done anything thing than belittle A every chance he got.

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sonali_dg

@sonali_dg

Voyager

Posted: 14 years ago

Hey!!!! 😊 Mast post, liked it! 😊

Of course, option two! Considering the situation you suggested..not Jagya- gauri wala dumb case.. but otherwise, option two lock kiya jaae 😆

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hppppp

@hppppp

Inactive

Posted: 14 years ago

Originally posted by: RBO_Addict
Of course 2nd option treat U'r ex as a human being and he should let her know that he has fallen out of love and there is nothing wrong in that no one has to suffocate them selves in a relationship but be responsible, be humane and respect your spouse, In Bv case J hasn't done anything thing than belittle A every chance he got.

Very well said...I guess its alright to move on, as long as you take things in humane way. not treat your ex as if she is an inanimate object, but give her due respect for the contribution she had in your life at least till sometime back...makes sense.

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parulwashere

@parulwashere

Explorer

Posted: 14 years ago

I would say first option 1 ... it is not very easy to keep relationship alive ... whenever you move away from your partner in a new environment , and meet someone new , it is very likely that you fall in love or develop a crush on new person ... wat J had with G is not love , i bet , if he goes out of country , he will dump G and fall in love with some angrejan ... he was from village and he liked a city girl ... while there were no problems with his relationship wt A. He behaved like a child who wants a new toy for himself ... so working on ur relationship is number one ... if after trying everything to it doesnt work , then yes ... option 2 to move on ...

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hppppp

@hppppp

Inactive

Posted: 14 years ago

Originally posted by: sonali_dg
Hey!!!! 😊 Mast post, liked it! 😊

Of course, option two! Considering the situation you suggested..not Jagya- gauri wala dumb case.. but otherwise, option two lock kiya jaae 😆

Heyy Sonali...thankizz hai..!!
yeah Jags-Gauri is a completely dumb, unrealistic case...where no one seems to have common sense or basic general knowledge.!!...
But yeah, the scenario does... strike the question in my mind...if one person in marriage, wants to move on--while his wife is completely innocent from a rural bckgrd, and there is no fault of hers, and given her social situation she might not even be able to re-marry...what are the options for the guy??...

Should he continue his marriage for the sake of "pity" becoz if he doesn't his wife's life might be spoilt...but at the same time he can never love her.

Or maybe he should go against the social norms...and try to uplift his wife financially/educationally, so that at least, after being separated-- she too could be stronger socially.. But I doubt if a guy from this selfish world, would do so much for just an ex wife, or a wife he'd want to leave.....

anyways...aapkaa second option lock kar diyaa jaata hai...and SAHI JAWAAB ...you win a crore~~😳😆

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hppppp

@hppppp

Inactive

Posted: 14 years ago

Originally posted by: parulwashere
I would say first option 1 ... it is not very easy to keep relationship alive ... whenever you move away from your partner in a new environment , and meet someone new , it is very likely that you fall in love or develop a crush on new person ... wat J had with G is not love , i bet , if he goes out of country , he will dump G and fall in love with some angrejan ... he was from village and he liked a city girl ... while there were no problems with his relationship wt A. He behaved like a child who wants a new toy for himself ... so working on ur relationship is number one ... if after trying everything to it doesnt work , then yes ... option 2 to move on ...

ok..from wht I understand of your post... ..after trying everything only one should move on in marriage...and not everytime you feel your heart missed a beat for another woman...atleast give yourself a chance to try to stay away from the woman you're now in love with, try to work on your marriage...if things dont work, and you still love the other woman, then move on...hmmm makes sense. One should give his marriage the best shot.

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tinoo

@tinoo

Rocker

Posted: 14 years ago

I think there are certain relationships of birth which cannot be changed and other relationships which we make ourselves.

I have fights with my parents all the time and it would never occur to me to change my parents. We will argue over something and make up as if nothing ever happened. Grudges never stay in this relationship. Does Jagya say "I dont like this dadisa, I want a new dadisa?"

So, I think that relationships which are made by man (eg. marriage) also deserve the same amount of respect and the effort to make them work. In the case of marriage, it is highly individual, but I think that unless there is some terrible cruelty involved, just walking out like Jagya did saying that anandi no longer suited him is incorrect.

I would therefore endorse option 1.

Edited by tinoo - 14 years ago

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hppppp

@hppppp

Inactive

Posted: 14 years ago

the reason I am speculating this question is that divorce is a very common thing in India these days too...but everytime you hear about it-- almost ALWAYS there is some kind of abuse/torture involved.
Very rarely I have seen people taking divorce in India becoz they are no longer in love with each other...or one of them is in love with someone else.

when men fall in love with another woman, they simply carry on an extra marital and keep it under covers...while the marital life just goes on for the heck of it. When women fall in love with another guy...I don't even know what they do...because I guess women don't even talk abt it, so you never get to know what they really do abt it...marriage still goes on......but the reality is--people do fall out of love in real life...so what are the "right" options??...what are the wrong options??

Edited by hima_123 - 14 years ago

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hppppp

@hppppp

Inactive

Posted: 14 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: tinoo
I think there are certain relationships of birth which cannot be changed and other relationships which we make ourselves.

I have fights with my parents all the time and it would never occur to me to change my parents. We will argue over something and make up as if nothing ever happened. Grudges never stay in this relationship. Does Jagya say "I dont like this dadisa, I want a new dadisa?"

So, I think that relationships which are made by man (eg. marriage) also deserve the same amount of respect and the effort to make them work. In the case of marriage, it is highly individual, but I think that unless there is some terrible cruelty involved, just walking out like Jagya did saying that anandi no longer suited him is incorrect.

I would therefore endorse option 1.

Ideally I would like to agree with you...wish a man-woman relationship continues the way...but guess reality is different. While people generally do not fall "out" of love with thr parents, but they do with their spouses... I guess it is because people expect a lot of benefits from their spouses...and "love" has a lot to do with attraction too...and sad, but true-its not the purest form of love.

So while we can believe that people wouldn't fall out of love with their spouses...and brush this question under the carpet...while hoping that people never stop loving their partners (while those who do keep hiding it and keep pretending that everything is alright with thier marriage)...

.but shouldn't we take a problem that exists head on and speculate--what are the options for people who don't love their partners anymore?

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