There is no Anandi v. Gauri

I just don't see this as an Anandi v. Gauri showdown. Anandi's character has been trained from childhood to be accomodating, understanding, unquestioning towards elders and to think about others before yourself. To some extent this is all required to live in a multi-generational joint family, the family unit would not be able to survive without those traits of silence, acceptance, and patience.

Gauri has more exposure, experience, education but more significantly she has lived on her own (not even with her parents) and that patently changes your reactions and focus. You have to think about yourself to survive when you are out in the world alone.

Their reactions to everything happening is contextually right. Sure Gauri would lose her temper if she perceives someone to insult her and absolutely Anandi will keep quiet, wait, or try to understand the situation --she has been trained this way.

Each is right in their own way.

And Jagat's family "insulting" or not accepting Gauri is the ONLY way they can really support Anandi and show disapproval towards their son --they disowned their own, only son who erred for their daughter-in-law, that is incredibly "progressive." and truly fictional (it would rarely happen in real life).

That's complete BS that Jagya never loved Anandi or there was never any compatibility between them. There are plenty of touching scenes between J and A. And given the right background score and compelling early characterization of Gauri, sure a chemistry was formed with J and G too.

People can have their preferences of which girl is best suited but the fact is that the character Jagya has no solid foundations or principles. Much less than the passionate people of this forum.

He wanted to fit into city life and he met a bindass girl who helped him, boom, he is in love and he justifies it with some goobleygook about child marriage. He did his share of romancing with Anandi after the leap. His parents made a commitment for him when he was too young to understand it BUT BUT he made a commitment, an actual one to Anandi AFTER the leap and that has NOTHING to do with child marriage.

Now he is back into the family. He realizes he misses them. He realizes what he gave up when he told his mom, dad to take a hike in Mumbai. He just can't leave home (so he is lying about tickets) and now at home in Jetsair, he realizes that Anandi is probably more compatible with regard to life in a joint family.

Playing house in Mumbai is fun with Gauri but being a married couple in Jetsair requires an Anandi --- ah the plight of most males: the fiery one for myself and the subservient one for my family.

This was/is never about Gauri or Anandi --its about Jagya's character getting carried away, trying to fit in, unable to see when he is wrong until it is way too late.

And mark my words, HE will DITCH Gauri once he finds out that akhir shaadi hua hi nahi hai, he will be relieved of the entire mess he has found himself in with two wives which is probably one too many for most. ;-)

He won't want to "officially" divorce Anandi ---and I hope Gauri doesn't put up with him.

The fact is that Gauri -between the two women- in the position to have picked a strong, independent man not a man who resorts to lies and deceit because he can't face reality. You fall for a liar because you didn't know he lied, you don't find out and marry him and its not like he lied out of a noble reason, he lied to save his sad self. He lied to make himself look good and he kept lying because he knew he was doing something wrong.

I hope they show a really strong scene where they show Jagya facing some harsh realities of himself.

I hope Gauri goes back to being the bindass, happy, ambitious modern girl they introduced her as and realizes that marrying a married man is setting her standard too low --she should marry a modern guy, preferably in a non-joint family setting.

And Anandi, I hope they show her finishing her education and they WILL show Jagya and Anandi together (no way they will show a divorce in a village high profile family) BUT I hope they show that marriage is a tough relationship and requires effort and maturity and how the couple has to work together to be together --not Jagya deserves it.

you have described each character and reasoning for their behavior so well... I completely agree with you... well said

i agree with everything you say except one thing i'd like to add if you don't mind...

Originally posted by: divadesi

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He wanted to fit into city life and he met a bindass girl who helped him, boom, he is in love and he justifies it with some goobleygook about child marriage. He did his share of romancing with Anandi after the leap. His parents made a commitment for him when he was too young to understand it BUT BUT he made a commitment, an actual one to Anandi AFTER the leap and that has NOTHING to do with child marriage.

Nice Post ! 👏 I agree with most of your part except the bold.

J and A were married in childhood and since then, they have been socially conditioned to believe that they are couple and it's their duty to stay together.

We are always taught from childhood about the relationships that we need to build up with others. For example, if a young boy and girl are taught since childhood that they should behave as brother and sister, it's very likely they would consider each other the same after growing up.

The commitment that J gave was a result of his social conditioning and not exactly because he chose A at his will after being adult.

If A and J had not been married in childhood and they had been very good friends and were given an option to marry after being adult, would they have married each other? Or if J would have got the option by his family to choose b/w Anandi and Gauri - whom would he have chosen after being adult?

J - had always shown a liking for the modern city girl (his buying of modern clothes for Anandi in their teenage years, his attempt to make Anandi to wear mini skirt are few of the proofs) So it seems unlikely, that given a choice, he would choose a village girl over a city girl.

But let's not assume anything what would have been J's choice - whether it would have been A or G, it would have been at least entirely his choice without any prior social conditioning and he would have made the decision considering his desire and family's benefit and knowing fully about the responsibility in marriage.

As far the romancing part is considered, again - we have seen that JA developed a strong bond of friendship which eventually both thought to be love.It was true love for Anandi which was proved by her sacrifices and her compromises before and after the leap.

But J?? - J might be romancing with A, but did he really love A? Love does not mean doing coochey coo in the fields. It means understanding, respecting and adjusting with your loved ones.

A always molded herself per J's wish and adjusted with J - so the incompatibility was not clear but had A been adamant in few cases, it would have been proved in broad daylight, how different these two persons are.

The image of a modern, educated woman which J always tried to find in A, was ultimately seen in G and hence, he got attracted to her. Of course, J, being selfish wants G to be accommodating as A - otherwise he is facing lots of problem.

Despite all this, it does not mean J had the right to cheat A and treat her like doormat. At least for the sake of friendship, he should have been honest with to A; just for sake of humanity if not love, he should have supported A to get her education and give A a chance to stand on her own feet.

My understanding is that J has no personality. he is like aaya toh aayaram gaya toh gayaram type of person. If its not A then J wouldn't have gone to Med school or mumbai to meet G at 1st place.

Even outside of the child marriage context, the family you come from and your upbringing (social conditioning) impact your expectations of marriage and a life partner. Falling in love and making a marriage work require different skills-set, if you are lucky you fall in love with a person who can also be a true partner in the mundane challenges of home and life management.

But that is not always the case, where you fall in love with someone who can not make the necessary adjustments to make a marriage work, you always have conflict.

I actually don't find Jagya to be a very modern character.

(His father is a true progressive who has embraced the best of modern thinking while trying to live up to his duties of being a good son. And often Bhairon's modernity has clashed with Dadisa's tradtional expectations of a good son and they show him straddling the conflict with conviction and sometimes with resignation.)

And this is what most urban Indians do in real life--straddle the modern with the traditional; try to embrace the progressive without giving up what is good about our culture. It's filled with gray lines but you do the best to live a good life.

I don't think Jagya prefers a modern woman. Wanting to see your teenage bride in a mini skirt doesn't make him modern, if he preferred a modern woman, he would not repeatedly chide Gauri for lashing out at what she perceives as insulting. He would not TRY to change her --now that she is married to him. If he loved her bindass-ness, he would not put her in a position where she needs to bear injustices.

Jagya is a cherry picker.

He wants to pick and choose what works for him. Real love involves some qualities of selflessness and huge quantities of patience and understanding esp. when your dedication is tested and twisted in the worst ways possible. Real love means being there for each other when all you want to do is walk away.

Anandi loved Jagya, when he came back from college after the ragging incident, she didn't let him mope around the village but encouraged him to face his fears and conquer his goals (even if that meant living without him for years). And this is just one example.

And even Gauri loves him. Despite his betrayal, she overlooked his shortcomings and married him; she didn't walk away from him.

Does he "love" either of them?

Only when it suits him.

Everyone has their opinion who LOOKS better together; I think both couples LOOK great together and come on, you put some glorious music in the background, the ankhon hi ankhon look, the youthful attraction comes through the scene.

But Jagya truly only LOVES himself. He doesn't have the maturity and way too much ego to love anyone else.

Until he realizes that about himself---he is incapable of knowing who is truly compatible with him because a relationship is not just about these beautiful girls and what they bring to the table but what he brings to the relationship ---the way I see it, right now he just brings a lot of ego.