Why is Ram the way he is??

After yesterday's episode, this question is what buzzing my mind. Why is he like this?

-He loves his step family and people like Vedhika (totally undeserving bunch) unconditionally, even when he could see they don't consider him the same way. They always kept him at a distance and betrayed him. Still he turns a blind eye to them.

- Puts the same set of undeserving hypocrites before everyone, including his very good friends and now his wife and In law's.

- Always falls for sweet words, fakeness and buttering, but doesn't even bother to try to understand the blamed victim's perception and give them a chance to hear their words of reasoning.

Why is he like this? Was it because he was raised motherless, with a step mother and always yearned for the maternal and familial acceptance from them? Seems like to earn their acceptance he would be ready to put down other important relationships in his life, who doesn't deserve such indifference from him likw this from time to time.

I think they gave us insight into Ram's characteristics in the pre diwali conversation between him and Priya. Ram is a MASSIVE people pleaser only because deep down he has low self worth as a person 🤔... Having lost both his parents he somehow has this belief of not being worthy of love, so whatever love and acceptance he found from the people around him at the time (his mom, Shivi, Shubham, Vedika, Adi, Brinda, Vikrant, Kunal etc) he just embraced it. Some of this love is obviously genuine (mainly from his friends❤️) but some of it is calculated and self preservative (like most of his useless family members and vile Vedika 😵). Ram is also so scared of being alone that he seems blindly believe and support his family & friends, no matter what😕. I think they've established this from the start, when Shivina was adamant on getting married to Akki and Ram was willing to do whatever it takes.

Ram really struggles to take a stand against his family because of his own insecurities. Compare this to Priya who is so much more stronger as a character, she loves her family but not at the cost of forgetting what is right and what is wrong. No wonder she had the guts to get her own father arrested. Ram is however the complete opposite and he will grovel at his family's feet regardless of what they do. No wonder it did not take him even 2 seconds yesterday to trash all the love he had for Meera Maa by calling her "aunty" in light of Akki hurting his sister 🤢

What I do think they are laying good foundation for in this story is that when Ram finds out about Priya's dad being his own father's alleged killer, I really think Ram will go to the extent of divorcing/separating from Priya. And it will make sense because with this current track it is very obvious that Ram sees Priya's family as being responsible for Shivina being hurt, just because they are related to Akki. Ram is way too emotional, jumps to wrong conclusions quickly and I have to say sometimes he lacks the capacity to use his own brain

That will be the last track, the truth of his dad's death. By then, Ram and Priya would have overcome all their obstacles. If the track opens now, definitely it will lead to separation. Frankly, Priya is better off without Ram.

Okay so this is my take! A person’s mind has three parts: Conscious, Subconscious and unconscious…

Ram too has all these three aspects in his mind…

Unconsciously, he knows Nandini, Shivi and Shubham don’t give him any regard in their life and subsconsciously he WANTS them to give him regard. So he “consciously”does everything he can in his subconscious attempt to woo them and make a place for himself in their heart. He knows , in his subconscious, they are all undeserving buffoons but his conscious mind has been fed the trash all his life— first by his father and then by Nandini— that he needs them all “to survive” in this BIG BAD WORLD, that they are his ONLY family… and that he needs to do things right BY them and FOR them to save himself from being alone and lonely. Unconsciously he knows he is wrong and that these people will NEVER be his own, unless by some miracle or divine intervention(read: Priya) they undergo a complete change.(not including vedika)

Also, in his unconscious and subconscious, he knows that Priya, His friends and Meera Ma will always be there for him… NO MATTER WHAT! That he does not have to go lengths to impress any of them. And probably that’s why he consciously chooses to sometimes hurt them, because he THINKS they’ll always understand them…. Where he is going wrong is that he is not realising that in chasing people who do not care a dime about him, he is hurting the ones who love him. And that is something he need to consciously realise so that his conscious, subconscious and unconscious are all aligned into a single force— the one that makes him see things rationally and that makes him negate the “extras” from his life and keep them at bay… while giving REAL value to all those who REALLY MATTER

Ram is like this because he survived a big loss, and more than one. And some cunning people took advantage of this and inspired immortal guilt for every breath "in the wrong direction." He clings to these people, afraid of the biggest pain in this world - loneliness. Therefore, I want to shock and send him to the shower for what he does with his beloved and his new family, but at the same time I can not be angry with him. I feel about like Priya towards him. I believe that together they will get out of this... Ram is not the one who deserves to be abandoned because of this, and Priya is not the one who quits at the first big and not very difficulties

True! And honestly, We are all here to give him all the chances he deserves! Because at the end of the day, even if his ”good deeds” are directed towards bad people… they are still good deeds which prove that he is a man of value and a man who is absolutely good at heart. And he has people who won’t ever leave him or his side… no matter what! They’ll fight him, tackle him but also in the end they are always able to and will always do knock sense into him.

He is grown up man with a child like heart… desperate to get some love, yearning to be someone’s priority. And he is! He is a priority for his friends, Priya and now even Priya’s family… they somehow understand his unsaid feelings, his need for people to love him… they see the child in him and they know that they got to protect that man-child from the bad people around him because he is too frail hearted to save himself. But that too is not a problem. He now has Priya— a woman so strong, she didn’t hesitate to fight off even her father, when she realised his wrong doings… so she’ll be his pillar of strength and help him get stronger by the day.

He deserves this chance of redemption without any unnecessary negative criticism and we are all here to give him that!💓

This trope of being lonely, yearning for acceptance / affection does not make full sense as Ram never lacked close real friends who did almost as much for him as real siblings. Also it appears that his dad was alive & well until he was in his early 20s, and he was not neglected by his dad after remarrying, so he did not have a lonely childhood.

Some people did everything to make Ram feel like that. And yes, you are right, he does this with those who love him because he knows that they will accept any step he takes, even the wrong one. Ram is like every or almost every one of us. We hit those who accept us in any way. And for those, others, no, you have already named the reason. Now he really needs to connect the dots inside and outside himself, so as not to lose the most valuable and real thing in his life. He can handle it, you should believe in him, a person needs a chance. Priya gives him a chance all the time, all the lovers around him give a chance, why don't we?

I think even Priya is kind of laid back when it comes to herself. Be it mahendra Sood or Neeraj or for that matter, she hardly defends herself. Even with Maitree she could not defend herself fiercely the way she does for Akshay or Sandy or her mother. They both are suffering from low self esteem. Ram never tried to defend himself, when it comes to annulment paper, Priya did not defend herself when it comes to the party.

But Priya still has a home, people who love her care for her, Ram actually has none and he knows that.

All very interesting and valid points of view. But none of it explains his extreme attachment to Vedika. Even in a real love relationship people are not so attached or dependant on their loved one.