5th June
Kal babuji ki barsi hai. Itne saal ho gaye babuji ko guzare lekin aaj bhi main unhe miss karta hoon - Har din mujhe aisa lagta hai ki babuji darwaze par ayenge aur "Ram puttar" kahke bhulayenge. Babuji ka khayal aata hai to maa ka bhi saath saath aata hai... akhir kahan hai maa? Woh hame chodke 20 saal toh ho gaye lekin mujhe abhi bhi issi baat ka khayal aata hai ki "Why did maa do what she did? Kyon chodke chali gaye - mere liye kyon nahi lada babuji se ... mujhe pata hai ki maa bahut hi upset hui hogi jab niharika ke bare me pata chala hoga - - woh mujhse ek baar bhi zikr nahi kiya iske bare me...kyon baat nahi ki? Babuji ne kaha ki maa kissi aur insaan ke pass chali gayi ... paison ke liye ...' pehle mujhe vishwas nahi hua -- lekin maa kabhi bhi nahi ayi yaa baat karne ki koshish ki ... toh mujhe bhi yahi sachchayi karke manna pada. Un thakleef bhari dino me main akela tha.. aur aaj bhi vahi akelapan mehsoos karta hoon... Mujhe aaj tak samaj nahi aaya ki kaise babuji aur maa ek doosre se itne door chale gaye? maine dekha hai unka pyaar ... bahut bahut pyaar karte the ek doosre se ... toh kaise ek doosre se dhoka diye ?
Main manta hoon ki niharika ne babuji ka saath kabhi nahi choda... kitne bhi boore din aaye, babuji ke pass thi aur issi liye main unhe bahut manta hoon ... lekin maa kyon chali gayi baath kiye bina? Kya main kabhi bhi jaan paaoonga ki kya hua? Maa ne toh babuji ki guzar jaane par bhi nahi aayi... kyon? Mujhe ab bhi bura lag raha hai ki meri maa aisi aurat hai jo paison ki khatir apno ko chod di...
Aaj subah main barsi ke bare me niharika maa se bole ke liye gaya aur wahan maine suna ki maa kissi auction pe jaa rahi hai... Babuji ka barsi hai ... unki yaadon aur zindagi ka kadar karna aur respect karna hamare pyaar ko jatane ka ek hi mauka hai ... aur maa auction pe jana chahathi hai??? Yeh kya ho raha hai? Aur jab maine barsi ki time bola toh woh bol di ki auction khatam hote hi pahunch jayegi... Maa has always been devoted to Babuji, how come she is acting like she does not care that it is his death anniversary... I wanted to ask her but she left without even looking at me' mujhe toh in dino shock pe shock lag rahe hai...
June 6th
Aaj pehli baar maine Babuji ki barsi pe nahi pahunch paya...mere zindagi ka sabse bada commitment aur maine nahi pahuncha wahan par...aur iski vajah hai wo aurat... main toh use nahi chodoonga... kya samaj ke rakhi hai -- maphi maanga, karcha uthane ki baath kiya, paise dene ki bola lekin wo aurat to samja hi nahi... She delayed me to the point where I missed the most important day of my life... I did not pay my respects to my father because of her... she will pay dearly for her gold digging attitude... from today I will see to it that she will suffer hell because of her attitude. she has the guts to stop Ram Kapoor ' me - I will show her what it is to cross me' from now on everyday will be living hell for her and that I promise myself.
Wo jitna bhi takleef jhelegi utna mujhe accha lagega... kitni baar bola ki babuji ki barsi hai -- lekin who mane hi nahi ... is galthi toh use bahut hi mahengi padne wali hai-- Kaise log hai yeh ... maine bola ki barsi hai aur inspite of it she continued to act like that.
The grief that filled my heart when the pandit called and told me that he had finished the pooja as it was getting late... it was immense.. agar meri life mein kuch maine rakhta hai toh woh mere babuji hai...mujhe zindagi bhar ke pyaar diye hai unhone aur ab bas unki yaadein hi jo hai mere paas... aur kuch nahi and that woman took that too from me... how could she? Don't people have any respect for the dead anymore? Could she not see the fact that I was telling the truth and I heard her say.. shall I ask for 2 lakhs.. how cruel and selfish can she be? Paison ki khatir woh itna drama khada kar di aur maine woh drama dekhte raha aur mere life ka sabse important din ko gavaa diya...
June 9th
Yeh ghar me maa party kyon rakhthi hai??? Mujhe niche jake sab ko hello bolna, socialize karna, bilkul accha nahi lagta... par karna padta hai maa ke liye...aur aaj to mera mood bhi theek nahi hai... maine us aurat ka jeena haram karne ka kaam toh shuru kiya hai aur uski beti aake khadi hogayee mafi mangne, but main bilkul mood mein nahi hoon use maf karne ki... use jannaa hoga kya hota hai Ram Kapoor se ulajne ka ...dekhthe rah jayegi jab main kheloonga unki peace of mind se...
If that woman's greedy nature is disgusting, what I saw of Mrs. Walia makes me cringe... how can a woman talk about my sisters like that? She had the audacity to comment on Natasha's character -- Natasha who is my life. I remember the day I first met Natasha, she was about a year old and since that day she has been the centre of my universe. I love her - not as a sister but as a daughter and I know that if a situation came up ki mujhe choose karna pada Natasha aur mere zindagi ke beech me toh main zaroor Natasha ko hi choose karoonga... aur yeh Mrs. Walia, mere hi ghar me khade hokar, mere choti ke bare mein itna bhala bura kaha... I cant even imagine what Choti would do if she had heard whatever nonsense that woman spoke ... I don't care that people think that I have spoilt her -- she is my life -- how can I deny her anything? Maa keeps telling me that I am responsible for the way Natasha behaves ... but how can I tell Natasha anything?
The past few days have been harrowing... pehle barsi ko miss karna aur ab yeh aurat mere choti ke bare mein bolna... Nothing seems to be right...aur is sab mein Vikram ka constant shaadi kar, shaadi kar ka chorus UFFF!!!!
June 11th
Today I saw the blood of my loved ones flow and my heart turned cold... what in the hell is happening in my life? For the past 20 years I have lived a life that has moved without any hiccups' suddenly too many things are happening in my life...and there seems to be no break in between incidents... Itna dard kaise bardasht karron main?
Aaj pehli baar mujhe mehsoos hua ki kitna thakleef hota hai jab hamare apne khudkhushi karne par tule hote hai... Aaj Natasha ne yeh kya kar diya... main use bahut acchi tarah se janta hoon... woh apne aap se zyaada kissi ko pyaar nahi karthi hai, itna self centered ladki aaj khud ko itna thakleef di...kyon? I know that there must be a boy involved in all this?? My instincts tell me that kissi roadside romeo mere behan ka phayda uthana chahta hain aur main use chodoonga nahin. Maa bhi ajeeb sa behave kar rahi hai... Maine bol toh liya ki koi Natasha se iske bare mein baat karenge...lekin Maa aur ishika ka bharosa nahi...in mamlon mein...mujhe Choti ke pass hi rehna hoga aur sab ko divert karna hoga jab tak woh theek ho jayegi!!!Itna lamba raat mere zindagi me phele baar kata hoon main... I was unable to breathe in peace until the doctor told me that Natasha was fine. And then Natasha started talking about some Karthik... must be the gold digger who has influenced her so much that she took such a drastic step!!!!
Main baap bana hoon uska aur mujhe itni dukh hoti hai use suffer karthe dekhkar... Maine Vikram se us karthik ka pata lagane ki kaha aur socha ki us ladke ko khatam karoon jo mere Choti ko dukh pahoonchaya... Lekin maa ne ake mujhe ek aur shock diya ...she wants me to talk to the boy and get Natasha and the boy married!!!! What is wrong with everyone? Why can't they see that the boy is taking advantage of Natasha...aur uski family... poore ke poore lalchi log hia... phone pe baat hua toh us nalayak Karthik ke behen choti ko cheez bolti hai aur dhamki dethi hai ki woh media ko involve karegi... Kis type ke log hai yeh?!?!? Aur yeh bhi boli ki main shukr karoo ki woh log mujhse paisa nahi mange... My ek business man hoon aur bahut tarah ke nikaammo ko dekha hoon, lekin yeh Karthik aur uski family toh bilkul alg kisam ke log hai' Aur mujhe unse rishte ke baat karna hai... hey bhagwan, yeh kya ho raha hai????
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