Who is better Mom?

Everyone agrees that among the two girls Sia and Aastha, Sia is a matured girl and Aastha is a brat. We can say Sia's maturity is inherited from her mother, Dr.Simran and that it's in her genes. At the same time, one's maturity depends on one's upbringing as well. Don't you agree?

Who do you feel is a better mom Simran or Archana?

It appears that Archana brought up Sia with love and yet managed not to spoil her .It could be because Simran was a celebrity parent and Aastha enjoyed all the resultant advantages.

Also Sia spent her life with her mom and nani while Astha was the object of the affection of so many people - Simran ,Shaguna ,Nanu , her Dada Dadi and her Mausi and Mausa (Rashmi and her husband)

Well, both of them gave all the love to their adopted kids, but it seems that Astha & Sia received the love in different ways.. What I mean that Simran loved Astha who turned out to be a brat.. While Archana's love made Sia a mature pleasant girl.. Maybe the genes have something to do with it.. But, I think Archana is a better mom...

Who is a better mom?

Very good and interesting question.I remember telling my son many times that if he did not turn out good,I would be blamed for not bringing him up well.After re locating to Hong Kong I used to always worry what if he went astray because we were in a foreign land away from our own culture.But that's not true.Our children are products of our own environment at home and then the outside environment.

Moving a little away from the topic,I want to say that I feel bad when, often in Indian movies and TV serials they show Indian(and other Asian) kids who have grown up abroad as spoilt,arrogant and totally westernised.It's not true most of the times. I could go on but it would seem a different topic altogether.

With reference to Astitva,I am glad that Divya,Victor and Sia were shown as good children.(or even Harsh,Bua's son, for that matter.

I am an ardent fan of Simran,so I hate to admit that in this case Archana has turned out to be a better mother.Both were single parents to their daughters.A parent has to give love along with discipline to a child.It's not that Simran did not instill the right values but because of her own insecurities,she overindulged Astha. Her's is a typical case of"Spare the rod and spoil the child".I am refering to her behavior before she came to know the truth.Now her anger and resentment is fully justified.She just doesn't care anymore about Simran's feelings because she feels cheated.

All said and done,I think Simran's personality did undergo a huge change after the loss of her daughter and Abhi's desertion.She may have moved on professionally and tried to find solace in Gudiya but obviously she was not as strong willed and courageous as before.That's why she resoted to lies and still is,even if it's to protect Astha.

I'm going to totally disagree. Sia is level headed because she grew up in a multicultural society, and had friends like Divya and Victor. But Archana was not necessarily a good mom, lets look at some facts:

when Sia wanted to find out about her biological family, her mom faked suicide and was doing all kinds of natak to prevent her from finding out about the kidnapping

She kidnapped Sia

she told many lies to keep Sia

Sia is impetuous and hot headed, she accused 'anand' of Divyas rape and murder

Sia kept secrets from her 'mom' - about anand

Sia was very rude with Simran when Sim was giving her advice about an older man

Yes, Sia now is very polite and calm, but she hasn't been perfect. She's more mature, but she is older and she grew up in a society where she had to balance two identies - an "Indian" one and an "English" one. And Archana...well ...

Simran has been overprotective with Aastha without question, and Aastha has been spoiled by everyone because of Sias kidnapping and Abhi/Neha not being with her, and the fear of Radhaji, but ...please don't be saying that Archana, someone who committed a felony crime is a better parent than someone who is trying to make up for tragedy in someone's life (All the death and sadness around Aasthas childhood and her own)

Further, the entire reason Sim's character is 'lying' to people is to let the story continue, remember it's not Simran, it's the writers.

Hey Victory,

I am sooo happy to see another Simran fan.For the first time I said something not in favor of simran.😉

I agree with you that Sia has also made her mistakes. And one lie should not be the judgemental factor for writing off Simran as a bad mom. Simran basically being straight forward by nature did not resort to any gimmicks to keep Astha back with her while Nani and Archana went on to do some more wile acts to hold on to Sia

Archana is definitely NOT a better person but has been a good mother to Sia.

Actually I agree with almost everything you have said.

Except

[Further, the entire reason Sim's character is 'lying' to people is to let the story continue, remember it's not Simran, it's the writers.]

We are all aware that it's the writers doing.Infact that goes for all the characters.The whole show runs on the assumption that it's all real and hence we make comments and have discussions.😉

But I liked all that you wrote and the way you expressed.Please continue to comment and be a part of this fun fiction.Please don't feel offended.

Cheers

Akshata

haha, no worries, I don't offend easily;)

Actually, I used to *hate* this show, but my mom loved it, and then when she passed away, I started watching it (and she was right!)

Now I'm living for the updates (go figure;))

I think Archana has been a good mother, but we've seen indications of her emotional manipulations. Sia mentioned a few times that Archana didn't eat when Sia wasn't around, so she had to phone, etc; and Archana's suicide stunt (though it was fake) show a lot of emotional manipulations. It's possible that as Sia grows up, she may exhibit some of those tendancies - or that Sim's influence will pay off and she won't.

Sim's a good mom- and we see this with how she treats Sid, how she treated Vic and Divya and Sia. Also how she treats Aastha, but Aastha has been her weak spot. It was in another thread that Sim sees her as happiness, and when Aastha is unhappy, Sim is afraid that her whole world will shatter. For a long time, Aastha was all Sim had...and she was living each moment as though there wouldn't be another one. She didn't know when Aastha might be taken by Radhaji and she also knew how easy it is to loose love (Abhi, the doctor..what was his name) and children (Sia/Aastha) - so she's overcompensating...

:) how's that, I'm more coherent now that the morning is getting underway.

Hey Akshata and victory

you guys have mooted some great points - akshata i was aware of your writings but I can see we have another person (amongsts many others here) that can also write well..

On the whole, I think I will agree with Victory here.... I can see nothing that implies to me that archana has been a good mother. In fact, all the qualities of Sia that have shone through are qualities possesed by Simran that have been highlighted in Sia. Some of abhi's good qualities have also been shown.

In additon to the dark side of archana that victory put forward, I would like to remind everybody of something else; cast your mind back to the very first telephone conversation we were shown between Sia and Archana on the telephone - it was at the end of this dialogue that archana's face was revealed to us. During that conversation, Archana was insisting Sia return, to which Sia refused. Archana got angry and hung up. Do you all remember that Sia then said that Archana will throw the phone now, then pick it up and redial to Sia? Well this is precisely what happened.

Now, bearing in mind this point that I have made as well as the numerous points that victory made about archana's character, how can anyone think that she was a good mother. I know people that do this "phone throwing" stuff and i most certainly do not consider them a good mother.

There is nothing in the serial that point the finger to Sia's behaviour being as a result of archana's good upbringing. Conversly, everything points to Simran genes. Even if I try, I can't figure out anything good that archana has done.

Simran's behaviour with gudiya has actually not been ideal .... not telling gudiya when she had the chance was an incredible blunder on simrans part...and her current behaviour is no different. I can understand how she is feeling though - whilst simran has always been honest in the past of 18yrs ago, she is lying thru her teeth to gudiya because she thinks she is protecting her and has no choice. I can understand this. As far as simran is concerned there is no other road, and therefore she is simply taking the path that is "the lesser of two evils". The lies simran is telling are not even comparable to the lies archana told. What archana did was just downright evil. Inexcusable, yet very commendable that for Sia's sake, both abhi and simran are turning a blind eye to it.

So i suppose folks, what I am saying is that yes, Simran has not been the ideal mother but then her situation was far from ideal. And whilst not ideal, she has definately still been a good mother. How can she even be compared to archana, well I don't know or understand.

Please feel free to totally disagree with the above - but if u do, then please explain clearly why u feel that way. It will make interesting reading..

We have never been shown how Sia was brought up. We are shown a grown Sia and her relation with Archana and Nani. Sia is a more mature, confinent person and that can be attributed to her genes, but it can also be attributed to her upbringing. But if you have mentally unstable mother, how could the mother have been a sensible one. From what we see, Archana loves Sia, there is no doubt about that, but was she in the right frame of mind to bring up a child? Seeing Sia's independent nature and behaviour it looked like she did things mostly by herself and was used to this routine.

Similary we do not know how Simran has brought up Astha. We do see that Astha and Simran love each other. Simran has a very dominating personality ( not that I find that wrong... ) and because of that she has not let Astha walk by herself... sometimes I wonder if she is treating Astha as somebody's else's precious thing and is taking that extra care, so nobody points a finger at her.

I am not sure I can actually say if Archana is a better mother or Simran, because they are both so different mentally and situations are so different too. Archana and Simran did not harm their kids in any manner, they love their kids and cannot live without them. If Archana and Simran had the similar mental make, I would have compared them. Both are bringing up somebody else's child and thus far they are equal.

I do not see an ideal mother anywhere... everybody's mother is ideal to them, I cannot see myself with a different lady as my mother. If I see that my friend's mother is doing something I do not like, does not mean my friend's mother is not as good as my mom.

Hey Victory,II and Vazz,

Victory, that was"out" standing.

Some very valid points. I agree with you guys.A person who is a good human being cannot be a bad mother at any time.She may make mistakes,after all she is human but she cannot teach or do bad to people around her intentionally.

Sia is a product of her environment. Yes, she has shown signs of tantrums and anger.

Simran's situation was far from ideal,no doubt about that.Challenge at every step.

There can never be a"better"or "ideal" mother. Vazz,some very thought provoking points there.

Cheers