Arjun FF: O Ri Chiraiya - Part 11 Pg 39-40, 12-Nov

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Swara85

@Swara85

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Posted: 11 years ago

#231

Sorry for commenting late..
Chapter6:
New case seems interesting..
How can these police officers be careless..?😡😡
lets see how they find gauri..
Anjali..cute girl.! I liked the cs of Arjun's family..
will comment on next chapter soon

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Swara85

@Swara85

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Posted: 11 years ago

#232

Chapter 7:
The case is going good..Kidnapping girls for bride..pathetic..
ACP Aman will help..nice..
They found Gauri..
Anjali is so cute..love her..She understands her family well at such age..

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Swara85

@Swara85

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Posted: 11 years ago

#233

Chapter8:
It was beautifully written..
Finally the case is solved..
Gayatri..😡 hate her..Knowing that such things happen in reality just increased my temper..disgusting..!!😡
Glad and appreciate Jaidev kaka's decision of not taking Gauri with him.
Arisha moments were funny and cute..Arjun's mother used to make him wear frocks..🤣
Sam's concern for Shree and Lisa-Chotu in shock mode..😆
Everyone having fun with Anjali..She is so sweet..Her teasing Sam and her bonding with everyone..loved it..
Aashima called Shree finally..he waited for it too long..and sam and her meet .. it was emotional..
cont soon..thanks for pm.

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-Carrie-

@-Carrie-

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+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#234

Commenting on Parts 7 & 8 together.

Apologies for the lateness.

Firstly about the case.

The story I believe is inspired by a real life incident featured in Crime Patrol. A girl had left home on a Sunday to go to a friend's house to see about some school project. A woman on the pretext of helping her locate the address kidnapped her and sold her to be someone's bride in Haryana.

The question in my mind at the time and even now while reading was why should girls have to be forcibly procured? They are needed for something as sacred as marriage not forced prostitution. Why can't the bride hunting net be widened and girls from other states be honourably wedded to their sons? After all the moment a girl is born parents think of little else other than getting her married into a good family. I am sure there is dearth of boys too elsewhere and parents would be more than happy to see their daughters wedded to rich Haryanvi farmers.

Why drag a school girl off the streets and force her into matrimony? There is no scope for love and companionship not to mention the constant risk of discovery and police action. A neat sum of money is also forked out. Stupid really!

The hunt for witness that threw up an important lead in the form of the cab driver was simple old school police work.👏The whole chase across several states was smoothly described.The enitire operation was very well sequenced. No loophole that I could spot😆.Gauri reunited with her father was relief. So many children never come home.

Inspector Aman Ali makes a cameo appearnce. It was jolly fun to see him again.I must catch this actor's work soon. I like him in pictures already.😳

Hasina Bi is the kidnapper. Good choice.😆 How perfectly rotten of her to finally net her friend's daughter also! Humanity at its lowest.

All's well that ends well.

Feel so happy for Jaydev. No father has to go through all this just because he has a daughter for a child.

On the personal front it was heart warming to see Aisha and Arjun bonding over this crisis.❤️ I beg my Good Lord for man who will take one look at me and know what's happening in my mind. Its the rare kind that is so perceptive and so finely attuned to their loved one's emotional temperature.

Then the way he did not hesitate to open up a little just to make her feel better was stirring.Love you for writing this out so beautifully.Absolutely loved the Arjun in a frock touch.😳I am sucker for guys for whom humour comes naturally without trying to be overtly funny.

I am happy the shadow of Roshni's saga is not on this story. Though immensely poignant it does limit us to explore the happy & carefree nature of the man Arjun.

Slightly disheartening was Sunaina's attitude towards Arjun.

It is purely undue resentment and distrust on her part to treat Arjun like he does not belong. If anything she was the interloper in the family. She took the place of the most important member of the Rawte household.Bringing a lot of emotional baggage with her to that place is unfair and uncalled for. The boy lost his mother and she seems to have left no stone unturned to take away his father and his sister and a warm home life

from him. At least for all the comfort and riches bestowed on her courtesy the Rawte fortune she could make efforts to be kind and polite to the son of the family.

I beg pardon for coming down heavily on one of your characters but the woman touched a raw nerve. She is real. Her attitude is real.Its because of people like her single parents dread to find happiness in a new life partner and choose to lead a lonely and empty life.

I am certain you have a back story up your sleeve for her. Though I will not pretend to understand her at least I might be able to accept her for what she is.Waiting for it.

Another person who disappointed me is Mr RAwte. He allowed this sort of an attitude from Sunaina to continue for nearly a decade. So sharp and pinching are the vibes from her towards Arjun that even little Anjali feels them and ponders over them. I am happy the man is at least aware of them and is not living in denial that all is well with his world. But sitting alone reflecting late into the night about the issue does not help Arjun in

any way. Hope he instills some sort of fear in to his wife. Because with people like her nothing else works better other than threat that their rich and comfy life might disappear over night.

In some way I think Arjun understands her and that is what has kept the peace in the family.

All the tender moments of the rest of the story were beautifully captured. I think we will see more of that in the next update.

Very well written.Kudos!👍🏼

Edited by -Carrie- - 11 years ago

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Maham

@Mahaali2905

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+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#235

Awesome update
and thanx 4 pm

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Swara85

@Swara85

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Posted: 11 years ago

#236

When are you going to update this..?please update soon

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Snehajain

@Snehajain

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+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#237

Update!!!!

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Shravani / Arohi

@skrafty

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

#238

Update soon dear
waiting for it

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Bhavna Antriwale-Gargate

@bgargate

Voyager

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#239

First of all... a big Thanks all who hit the Like button 😊

@Goldie ... Thanks Dear 😊 .. yes... the case is finally solved now ... And this was the beginning of Arjun - Aisha's full fledged relationship 😊 ... Well... Ashima k liye important tha ... that she pours her heart out ... but no pain anymore ... Sam will be with her 😊

@Annu ... Thanks Dear 😊 ... ab kya kiya jaaye ... aise cases hote rehte hain ... yes ab jaldi hi full fledged Arisha track aayega 😊 ... ab Ashima k saath Sam ki setting hai hi ... to wo hi pehle Anjali ki bhabhi banegi 😉 ... Aisha ko bhi wo bahut jaldi bhabhi bolegi 😉

@Sneha ... Thanks Dear 😊 ... I knew ... she is a very good actress ... she specializes in such roles 😛 ... keep reading for more fun 😊

@Laila ... Thanks Dear 😊 ... Awww... I should be thanking you and all the readers ... its a big encouragement for me 😊 ... yes.. that little funny twist of frocks ... I added it for fun 😛 ... True ... women too are equally responsible in many such cases 🤢 ... Anjali is the dhamaal element in this story 😉 ... yes... finally they met 😊

@unishaz ... Thanks Dear 😊

@Godly_Affection ... Thanks Dear 😊 ... ur comment is still Reserved 😊

@Shanaya ... Thanks Dear 😊 ...yes... it was disgusting 😡 ... but aise cases hote hain 😡 ... haan tumhara Juno boy frock pehenta tha 😆😆😆 ... Anjali is full on masti and dhamaal element ... keep reading for more fun 😊

@Zubiya ... Thanks Dear 😊

@skrafty ... Thanks Dear 😊 ... update coming soon 😊

@pinkerbell ... Thanks Dear 😊

@anika ... Thanks Dear 😊 ... yes... finally things are sorted out 😊 ... ur Sam bhaiya is a rockstar 😉

@Megha ... Thanks Dear 😊 ...kya kiya jaaye ... aise log bhi hain duniya mein 🤢... relax... mujhe bhi aise logo par gussa aata hai ... but kya karey

@Heli ... Thanks Dear 😊 ... yes case is finally over ... coming up is Sam-Ashima part ... I hope u I m able to live up to the expectations of all the readers 😊

@Piya ... Thanks Dear 😊 ... haan mil gayi 😊 ... but aise cases hote hi rehte hain 🤢 ... keep reading ... aur Arisha aayega jaldi hi 😉 ... Yes ... family time is always fun 😊

@Birdie ... Thanks Dear 😊 ... Aman was in a guest appearance 😊... but I will see if I can get him back for another case in future 😊 True ... girls really need to be very careful 😊 ... yes... ek baar Sam-Ashima aur Sunaina ka track theek kar doon ... fir Arisha ka full fledged track start karungi 😊 ... Anjali is all about the happiness in everybody's lives 😊 ... Sam-Ashima ... more coming up in next part abt them ... I hope I don't disappoint u all 😳

@Sumu ... Thanks Dear 😊 ... but ur comment is still reserved 😊

@Swara ... Thanks Dear 😊 ... no worries ... yes... it is disgusting to see that such things do happen around us 🤢 ... family time is always happy time 😊

@Zuby ... Thanks Dear 😊 ... no worries dear ... take ur own time 😊 ... yes u r right ... while I agree that bride hunting can be widened and people can go out and look for brides in another state ... but think about people from other states... who would get their daughters married to a man whose family just want a male child producing machine in the name of a bride? even though they r rich, but their mentality doesn't change 😡

Thanks for praises on my writing style ... 😳 I tried my best to keep it clear 😊 ... happy that u liked it 😊 ... Hasina Bi 😛 ... she is a very good actress and specialises in such roles ... she has actually been type casted in such roles 😊... sadly, such cases do happen in reality

Arisha ... very soon I will be opening up their track 😊

Sunaina ... more about her attitude in next part ...😊 I completely agree with your outburst here 😊 ... I have tried to answer all your questions in upcoming part ... a special thanks to you for this ... your comment helped me portray Sunaina's feeling in a better way. Sunaina actually doesn't have any problem with Arjun... Mr Rawte ... his part also coming up 😊 ... he actually didn't want to come between Sunaina and Arjun ... as he was scared to take sides ... but very soon he will be stepping in and sort out the matter 😊 ... ummm... fear is no way to solve the matter... at this moment he doesn't know the actual problem ... but very soon things will be on track 😊

Arjun has matured over the period of time and he knows how to balance things 😊

Keep reading for more 😊

@Maha ... Thanks Dear 😊 ... update coming soon 😊

@Nikita ... Thanks Dear 😊

Edited by bgargate - 11 years ago

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Bhavna Antriwale-Gargate

@bgargate

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+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#240

Part 9 A

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She looked back at Sameer, raised her hand and touched his shoulder to make sure she was not hallucinating and he was there for real. Sameer kept the bouquet to her side as Shree got up and stood aside. Sameer held her hand and called her with love "Ashima"... She closed her eyes, hugged him and broke into crying loud.

She felt her voice coming back and she could scream and cry her heart out. Sameer tightened his grip around her as he sat next to her on the bed. The world seemed to be stopped for them and they were lost in each other's embrace.

Ashima kept on sobbing resting her head on Sameer's shoulder and he kept on holding her close to his heart.

Shree went out of the room giving them some time in private.

After sometime Sameer try to part the hug and wipe her tears but she tightened her grip around him. She was scared to lose him.

Sameer: Ashima! meri taraf dekho

Ashima parted the hug but held his hands tightly and looked a Sameer and found him smiling. He wiped her tears.

Sameer: Nahi... ab aur nahi ... ab ek bhi aansu nahi nikalega tumhari aankhon se ... ab mai aa gaya hoon ... ab tum jaldi se theek ho jao...aur fir hum ek nayi zindagi shuru karenge

Ashima was in tears again and hugged him back.

Sameer: Mai janta hoon jo hua wo theek nahi tha ... aur dukh mujhe is baat ka hai ... ki jab mere pyaar ko meri sabse zyada zarurat thi ... tab mai uske paas nahi tha ... par ab nahi ... jo bhi galat hua hai ... usey hum mil ke sudhaar lenge ... tum dogi na mera saath?

Ashima parted from him and shook her head in a No. Sameer was surprised.

Sameer: kyun? naraaz ho mujhse?

Ashima again shook her head and burst into crying again holding his hands. The medication for almost 2 years left her weak. It took her some time to frame a sentence in her mind and then speak it.

Ashima(whispers): Nahi... mai.. tumhare pyaar ... ke ...kabil .. nahi ... hoon... maine...tumhara ... dil... toda... tumhe ..dukh.. diya ... iski

... sazaa ... mili ... (her words trail off and Sameer pulled her back in his embrace)

Sameer: Nahi Ashima ... aisa mat kaho ... please ... mai kal bhi tumse pyaar karta tha, aaj bhi karta hoon aur humesha karta rahunga ... aur aisa kyun kehti ho ki tum mere pyaar ke kabil nahi ho? ... tumne jo bhi kiya wo us waqt sahi tha ... tumhari koi galti nahi thi... par agar kismat mein yehi likha tha to hum kya kar saktey hain... par dekho na... kismat ne humein dobara milaya hai... socho kyun?

Ashima parts from him and looks intently in his eyes.

Sameer: kyunki hum ek dusre k liye hi baney hain ... aur ab humein koi alag nahi kar sakta ... koi nahi ... ab mai tumhe apne se door nahi hone dunga ... aur ab Shree bhi meri zimmedari hai ... hum ek nayi duniya basayenge ... bas tum jaldi se theek ho jao (wipes her tears)

Ashima(whispers): Sameer!! kya... aisa... ho ... sakta ... hai?

Sameer: kyun nahi ho sakta? doctor se baat huyi hai Shree ki ... doctors ne kaha hai ki tum mein bahut improvement hai ... aur ek specialist doctor bhi bahut jaldi tumhe dekhne aayenge ... bas tum apni himmat banaye rakho ... mai aur Shree har hafte tumse milne aayenge ...

Ashima tilts her head trying to smile and fighting her tears. Sameer wiped her tears with his thumbs and cupped her face in his palms.

Shree comes back to the room and comes closer to Ashima and Sameer.

Ashima(low tone, struggling to complete her sentence): Shree... tum ... Sameer... kaise...?

Shree: Di ... Rathod sir mere chief hain ...

Ashima: tum... police ...force... mein?

Shree(smiles and clarifies): Technical expert hoon Di ... ETF mein ...

Ashima: par ... mere ... barey ... mein ... (scared thinking if Shree had discussed her domestic violence case with Sameer. She didn't want Sameer to know anything)

Sameer(chuckles): uske liye to Arjun ko thanks bolna padega ... usine pata lagaya ... ki Shree tumhara bhai hai ...

Ashima takes a pause and smiles remembering the prankster Arjun.

Ashima: Arjun ... wo ... kaisa ... hai?

Sameer: wo bhi theek hai ... uski family aayi huyi hai Kolhapur se... isliye wo aaj nahi aa paya ... but wo bhi jaldi hi tumse milne aayega...

Ashima is again in tears remembering something.

Ashima: Arjun... sach ... kehta... tha ... tumse ... door ... mai... kabhi ...khush... nahi... reh... sakti ... mujhe ... sazaa mili ...

Sameer(cuts her short): Aisa nahi hai Ashima ... Arjun ka ye matlab kabhi nahi tha ... aur fir haalat ke aagey humein jhukna padta hai ... ab please ye sab mat socho ... chalo... ab hum chaltey hain ... tumhare therapy session ka time bhi ho raha hai ... hum next week fir se aayenge ...

Shree and Sameer bid her bye and leave.

Ashima was very happy. And as she had started speaking, doctor was very happy. It was a big step towards improvement.

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Scroll down for part 9 B

Edited by bgargate - 11 years ago