Don't blame the kids!

It's no surprise that so many of the children in this show grew up to be terrible adults. They did not have any good role models in their lives in their childhood.

Vanraj was an abusive, unfaithful and overbearing man. Anupamaa justified all the abuse by preaching that obeying one's malicious elders, sacrificing one's own dreams and being a doormat are all great virtues. Both of them were physically abusive towards their children. Baa was downright cruel and Baapuji's protests against all this were inconsistent and ineffective.

None of the adults knew how to communicate, lay down their boundaries or express their emotions in a healthy way. Even when Anuj appeared as a relatively ok role model, he and Anupamaa were so bad at communicating that everything fell apart. In fact, when Anuj belatedly raised concerns and tried to communicate after the car accident, instead of resolving the conflict like a mature adult, Anupamaa ran away and totally ghosted her own family (including her traumatised child!!!) for years.

It is no surprise that Toshu, Pakhi and CA developed deep-seated issues and insecurities. In fact it's a miracle that Samar somehow turned out relatively ok despite all this terrible parenting.

Of course, as adults it's the responsibility of the children to work through their trauma and become better people. But I cannot stand it when Anupamaa lectures everyone as if she is not at all responsible for the sorry state of her children.

As long as she sees herself only as a victim, she will not be able to see the immense harm that she has caused to the people she claims she loves.

Agree with every bit of this post. A big joint family with no role model can only spoil kids and make them terrible adults. I think Anupama's efforts are futile now because in their developing years she kept quiet for all the abuse. I weak mother can not raise strong mature children.

Even vanraj was an abusive husband no matter how much makers show him as ache pita. A good father treats the mother of his children with utmost respect and love. That's where children learn and connect as a family.

Agree! Children growing up in households where one parent disrespects the other parent are unlikely to shape up well and develop good value systems...A marriage where there is no mutual love, respect, and understanding only spells doom for the future generations of the family!

Exactly!

At least if any one of the adults (especially Anupamaa since she's supposed to be the FL and the saviour of the universe) knew how to acknowledge their mistakes, it would be a good influence. If they genuinely repented and made amends...

But no. They don't even know how to take responsibility and apologise properly. Where will the children learn all this then? What is the use of "sanskaar" if the adults can't even model basic decency and self-awareness?

Acknowledge? Mistakes? What are those?

Before that, she has to identify/recognise the mistake in the first place.

I think there is a phundamental poblem.

We use words that are spoken in Our World. Anupamaverse uses a spesulised dictionary.

Hence there is no solusun of the poblem.