Parent one up manship

In india what happens is that there is parent one up manship or competitions going on from kids childhood

Usually father pampers daughters or a son may be if there are 3 like Shahs

Mother usually pampers her raja beta

By pampering i mean favoritism and saving them from other parents warth

This happen in every house not only Shahs that dad has his favourites mom has her favourites

And if child needs some money or workk done which father may refuse to do or give money they run to favourite mother

Same thing for fathers favourite if mom objects or does not give money get from father

This happens in other countries too but not as much as india maybe

Major reason is each parents catch a favorite like mom makes usually boy her favorite because in old age she thinks they will remember how she went against father or hide from dad his crimes and will take care of her. I have seen most mothers give this reason why they love their raja betas and not beti usually

Fathers are not that insecure about old age etc as they know wife there to take care so them so spoiling raja beta is rare they spoil daughters as they will marry and leave

This competition goes on till kids become adults and all run away from home finally mother father realize no use of favoritism panchi udd hi jayega in these times. In olden times favoratism worked because parents would live with one son after retirement till death. With breaking of social fabrics there is no use of such favoritism games between mother father. Usually men die first and mothers live more so may be they pamper raja betas in hope they will take care of them in old age

But in reality this favouratism between mom dad spoils kids and makes them either nnot confident like Samar or over misbehaving like pakhi and toshu

Its not only Shah house you observe all family same thing happens but in some to lesser extent some more extent

Like if father refuses to give money for picnic mom will hide and give money to raja beta in school or college for parties

Like if mother refuses dad will buy dress for pari beti

They are playing one upmanship for love and vote of kids but it actually back fires in long run

Both anupama and vanraj are responsible for their 3 kids turning like this

Anupama never really tried to get close to pakhi or toshu in life or teach them any manners. Ok i know all will blame Baa and vanraj but same thing happens every house not to this extreme extent may be.

Vanraj always removed his grudge on anupama by humilaiting samar because he was her favourite and ignoring him never developed bond with him. To be honest if toshu was anupama favourite he would meet same fate too from vanraj.

So both are having such kids in old age one a insecure scared crow samar other two misbehaving brats they are actually reflection of their fav parent characters

Finally what happens in old age is no kid remains they just use mom dad to fulfill needs and walk off after marraige separate

I have seen mother with 6 sons too where 2 ae her favourites to look after after father death they will start of like shes your fav you take her shes your fav yuou take her to your home. Finally none of the 6 are ready o take mother to their homes. 4 will say you played favouratism and pampered those two go to their house we do not care. The fav two sons will say we are not only sons go to other 4. Finally parents are abandoned. Thats how majority live alone in old age or in old age home or ashram.

So do you think this favoritism played by parents really benefits kids? Why do parents play favourites?

This kind of favouratism also will come in house work etc. Son is mom raja beta so he must not do any house work only sttudy or play at home

Daughter is not so favourite of mom her home work can be done later help in kitchen etc

From childhood only bad blood created between siblings by parents thats why as adult many siblings are not close and fight. Fight for property this that because no real bond developed

I am surprised Samar is nce to Toshu and pakhi in real life lot of bad blood happens and enmity like auragnzeb and dara sikoh between brothers or siblings if favoritism played in childhood by parent

All this hum saath saath hain is only in serials not real life between siblings who are made against each other from childhood like samar verusu toshu

There are so many issues to explore but just to make anupama mahaan such angles ignored i feel

Generally bache maa se Kam darte hai papa se jyaada se darte hai

If u see many mother need their husband support to discipline children

Mother kehte kehte thak jaati hai ki apna Saman jagah pe rakho kapde change Karo apna khaana finish Karo green vegetables khaao but children Generally don't listen to her mother and just keep on playing

Tub maa kehti hai bachone aane to papa ko sham tumhari shikayat lagate hai to papa ki darr se bache apna kaam shuru kar dete hai

To mother alone khuch nahi kar sakti in joint family nein she definitely need her husband support atleat to discipline children

Anupama is not allow to scold her children she is not allow to give one slap to her children agar woh aisa karti to vanraj to apne khuch nahi kehta ulta anupama ko Ghar ki Bahar nikaal deta

And second thing why anupama could not scold her children because she think uske bache English jaante hai uske bacche use jyaada intelligent hai .Mai to sirf 12 pass hoon to isi wajah se anupama ki andar guilt ki feeling aati thi main hi galat hoon because main sirf 12th pass hoon aur bache sahi hai kyonki woh mujhse jyaada padhe like hai

Anupama ko Bahar jaane ko nahi milta hai for enjoyment anupama apne Ghar se aadhey km se jyaada kahin gayi nahi hogi ( aadjey km mein she can buy vegetables milk and grocery) but toshu and pakhi vanraj ke saath bahut jagah gaye hinge to ukhe bahut si chemin Pata chal gayi .jo anupama ko nahi Pata thi

To isi feeling se ki bache mujhss jyaada jaante hai aur main hi bevkoof hoon isi wajah se anupama bachon ko nahi daant paayi when they are rude to her

When story is about anupama why they should not highlight anupama

No matter what track.come but this story will be always about anupama only

Very easy to say but Jo mother us environment mein rehti hai jahan pur use kisi bhi Prakar ka support nahi hai wohi log jaanti hai Kitna mushkil Hota Hai bachon ko Tameej Sikhana aise environment mein