Anupama's real problem - Page 2

In Indian culture, we don't acknowledge emotional abuse, emotional neglect, physical abuse, Domestic Violence Cycle and how it shapes individuals. We are high on collective culture where everyone comes before us, in Anu case she literally grew up in an abusive house hold, for ages, when now a days ppl are slowly realizing mental health concerns and its effects on themselves, Anu just like most of indians didnt understand DV n IPV, until she had solid slap on her 25th wedding anniversary. She isn't going to change overnight no matter how much progress she have been making, ppl go back to old patterns n comfortzones, that is why Anu struggles to let go her Mayka. She is good person, and these days goodness, humanity is considered Mahaan or Ignorance, she forgives despite the pain n humuliation to survive the pain, she slowly started making vhanges but when really pushed in a corner she does pounce, despite of how badly kids treat parents parents always forgive them n hope them best (like Anu). Not saying kids are always wrong or parents r always right, in general. I grew up in that area of values. Selfless love and not known what is wrong or right by kids/parents n being called bad for pointing them out (kids/parents). Years of abuse without proper acknowledge n healing is not gonna change or happen overnight, hence Anu is putting herself in same situations, also Anu shows signs of Stockholm Syndrome, not totally but partially..she will never forget the pain or kids, but she should learn to place boundaries. She should know love n care can be shown in prayers or being around, without being under same space.

For ex, initially Anuj never wanted to cause problems in Anus life and when she was finding herself the blame went to Anuj and he blamed himself. Same Anu doesn't see certain abuse signs unless someone esp Anuj, K n K, Devika show it to her.

My best friend was beaten an inch to death in 2009, for standing for herself and saying she wants to support family n not marry, she is married, separated with useless spineless hubby who visits her n I blame her family for ruining her life. We friends trying interfering in 2009, but it was of no use.

I read this on twitter and I connected with it, 'for some Anupama is just a show. For me it helped me heal, love self, identify n work on issues, helped me move forward in taking steps I never would have'i feel same that is why I understand more also being a therapist I see more.

Originally posted by: TitanFan

In Indian culture, we don't acknowledge emotional abuse, emotional neglect, physical abuse, Domestic Violence Cycle and how it shapes individuals. We are high on collective culture where everyone comes before us, in Anu case she literally grew up in an abusive house hold, for ages, when now a days ppl are slowly realizing mental health concerns and its effects on themselves, Anu just like most of indians didnt understand DV n IPV, until she had solid slap on her 25th wedding anniversary. She isn't going to change overnight no matter how much progress she have been making, ppl go back to old patterns n comfortzones, that is why Anu struggles to let go her Mayka. She is good person, and these days goodness, humanity is considered Mahaan or Ignorance, she forgives despite the pain n humuliation to survive the pain, she slowly started making vhanges but when really pushed in a corner she does pounce, despite of how badly kids treat parents parents always forgive them n hope them best (like Anu). Not saying kids are always wrong or parents r always right, in general. I grew up in that area of values. Selfless love and not known what is wrong or right by kids/parents n being called bad for pointing them out (kids/parents). Years of abuse without proper acknowledge n healing is not gonna change or happen overnight, hence Anu is putting herself in same situations, also Anu shows signs of Stockholm Syndrome, not totally but partially..she will never forget the pain or kids, but she should learn to place boundaries. She should know love n care can be shown in prayers or being around, without being under same space.

For ex, initially Anuj never wanted to cause problems in Anus life and when she was finding herself the blame went to Anuj and he blamed himself. Same Anu doesn't see certain abuse signs unless someone esp Anuj, K n K, Devika show it to her.

My best friend was beaten an inch to death in 2009, for standing for herself and saying she wants to support family n not marry, she is married, separated with useless spineless hubby who visits her n I blame her family for ruining her life. We friends trying interfering in 2009, but it was of no use.

I read this on twitter and I connected with it, 'for some Anupama is just a show. For me it helped me heal, love self, identify n work on issues, helped me move forward in taking steps I never would have'i feel same that is why I understand more also being a therapist I see more.

Coming to the show, they have a strong medium in their hands. Many a time they have done amazing things with the show like getting Anu divorced and getting remarried not because someone asked her to but because she wanted to. That was a remarkable thing.

I know it's not easy to shed patterns. I still struggle to. I know it's very difficult. But, it being a medium of not just entertainment but also infotainment, they can work on this aspect too, Anu standing up for her self respect. This is her journey. But it will not be complete for me unless she learns to stand up for her self respect and doesn't want to show goodness instead of everyone apologising to Anupama and accepting her back into their lives. Like uski acchai kaam aayi. It doesn't happen in real life as per my experiences.

Originally posted by: ChirpyKiya10

Hi Dear,

I couldn't have said it any better.

I want to add one more thing, Whenever it comes to Pakhi and Toshu, Anu behaves like a helpless woman.. starts her surri surri Jaap. we also sometimes say sorry to our kids but in that case when we genuinely feel that it was our mistake or sometimes in anger or to cut in to stop the argument or dont talk for a while. Then kids also realize that they are at fault.

Why cant this lady cant leave kids on their own for sometime. After all, kids are not so small that you cannot leave them.

One more thing, When it comes to another person like Mukku, she is an entirely different personality. I dont understand why and how? Sometimes, it feels just to garner sympathy votes, she behaves like abla, helpless woman in front of Shahs.

Thanks

Yes she seems like a person who likes to victimized herself to garner sympathy it looks like abuse gives her some kind of kick. Anupama Character is written so bad that it looks like she has stockhome syndrome. Once in the show they did talk about therapy for Pakhi and if they show same for anupama like Anuj tries to help her or any counsler as sometimes it does happen that long years of abuse make someone habitual of that abuse and they develop stock home syndrome. But here they show Anu both physically and mentally sound so if I have to judge based on the story I have seen I will say she is shrewd manipulative, want sympathy control over everyone related to her.

Anu Loves her abusers. And if someone is abusing or insulting her she won't leave that space until and unless that person becomes total evil and speaks all the worst things they know.

Answering someone when they disrespect you is different than it can be said she stood her ground. but to me she looks pathetic most of the time

Wanted to write this earlier but didn't

What's the stupidity of sending Anu in same school as pakhi just so choti Anu should also get bad treatment and name calling daily like she got. Every city has atleast two or three best school which provides best education also she can enroll choti Anu in special classes like singing dancing or horse riding if there is anything unavailable but why only Pakhi 's school to make things worse for both the girls and whenever something unwanted happens give lecture be great and try to pacify the situation make pakhi look bad chotu Anu victim and get insult for herself also by Shah's then sing maaa

2 nd thing why both Anu and Anuj want। Choti Anu to visit Shah house it's not like she knew any of them will be welcomed by all . Right now she only needs her parents and security feeling of being important loved secure not some doubts in her innocent mind that she is the reason of fights why they want her to suffer it's beyond my understanding

And big drama day both Anu and Anuj knew what would happen she could have avoided taking choti Anu with her go hug your children and get insult and still say Suri Suri but why you are making chotu Anu see all this drama and hurtful words . I don't think any mother would take her 5yr old to a house where she knew she would get abuse, accuse and fight us going to happen unless it's emergency

But Anupama is greatest so can't say anything further

But mere humans avoid unnecessary fights and try to protect their small child from this indecent exposure