Anupama's upbringing vs Toshu and Pakhi's selfishness

I couldn't get a better line for the subject. But my point is this that Anupama cannot be blamed for the way Pakhi and Toshu behaves or for their nature. I mean they grew up in a joint family. They do have some goodness in them but I really cannot forgive them for the way their treat their own mother even if they are white-washed again and again. However, that's not the point here. What I think is that Pakhi and Toshu grew up seeing not only Anupama but Baa and Mr Shah as well. These two villians exerted more power and as children, they must have been infuenced by the two of them more than Anupama. Anupama taught them good things but she was always ill-treated; her voice was always suppressed. So, naturally, they grew up thinking Baa and Mr Shah are more powerful/right. Plus, they will talk and behave like their elders. So congrats to Baa and Mr Shah for raising Pakhi and Toshu as their carbon copies.

That's a common problem faced by all submissive mothers in a joint family.

Mr vanraj shah able to provide facilities to pakhi and toshu he is able to give mobile to pakhi

Remember when pakhi take very costly dress in her birthday and vanraj gave her very costly dress in her birthday and I think anupama oppose it why he gave such costly dress to pakhi

To jub father aise wish poori kar rahe they toshu और pakhi ki to woh apni maa ko kyon poochenge jo indoor ke liye ganwar thi और किसी के काम के liye thi in dono ke liye

और plus toshu aur pakhi to hamesha se to vanraj aur baa ka सपोर्ट तो था ही है isliye to aur himmat bhad vayi

And anupama was mentally aone and have no strong financial support as well as moral support and she has gulit also to usk pass chup rehne alwaa aur apne bachon ki Batameej toleterate karne ke elaw koi rasta nahi tha

Abd also in begening of serial some body going to make tea for vanraj as anupama gone out with devika to vanraj ko gussa aa raha tha ki anupama bahar dost ke saath ghumme kyon gayi ( 25 year mein pehli baar anupama gayi thi bahar apne doston ke saath ghumne) to vanraj ko gussa aa raha tha ki use exactly 6pm ke tea kyon anupama nahi di

To kiso ne bola ki vanraj ko tea bana, ke de ga to vanraj ne kaha nahi jiska kaam wohi tea bana ke dega

To aise mein aakur agar father grand mother beech mein galat baat ko support kar rahe they to anupama kya seekhate

Rakhi ka kya hai woh to kabhi saas sasiur ke sath nahi rahi hai shaadi ke baad bhi Rakhi apne mayke mein rahi aur pramod jamai ban ke raha to aur Rakhi ko apne mayke se bhi strong support tha to uska ke kiye aasan tha apni daughter ko kaise paalna hai kaise raise karna hai

Originally posted by: Jefen

I couldn't get a better line for the subject. But my point is this that Anupama cannot be blamed for the way Pakhi and Toshu behaves or for their nature. I mean they grew up in a joint family. They do have some goodness in them but I really cannot forgive them for the way their treat their own mother even if they are white-washed again and again. However, that's not the point here. What I think is that Pakhi and Toshu grew up seeing not only Anupama but Baa and Mr Shah as well. These two villians exerted more power and as children, they must have been infuenced by the two of them more than Anupama. Anupama taught them good things but she was always ill-treated; her voice was always suppressed. So, naturally, they grew up thinking Baa and Mr Shah are more powerful/right. Plus, they will talk and behave like their elders. So congrats to Baa and Mr Shah for raising Pakhi and Toshu as their carbon copies.

As per research a persons 50% character is developed by genes and family traits

Rest 50% is by neighbours education and friends classmates colleagues and life experiences

That is why a Gandhi can have a hari lal who was a theif

When Mahatma gandhi who can handle british cannot handle his own son and teach him honesty and ahimsa can a aupama handle kids?

What i mean is both parents may be great human still their kid may become bad

In toshu pakhi case their genes means Baa bapuji vanraj 75% genes are bad so they would turn out same even if anupama does anything even if they grew up away from joint family only with anupama still they would be selfish and narcissist and running after other wealth etc become it comes in genes

Samar has got anupama more genes but if he keeps living with vanraj and baa slowly he will become like toshu pakhi without anupama round

Originally posted by: Jefen

I couldn't get a better line for the subject. But my point is this that Anupama cannot be blamed for the way Pakhi and Toshu behaves or for their nature. I mean they grew up in a joint family. They do have some goodness in them but I really cannot forgive them for the way their treat their own mother even if they are white-washed again and again. However, that's not the point here. What I think is that Pakhi and Toshu grew up seeing not only Anupama but Baa and Mr Shah as well. These two villians exerted more power and as children, they must have been infuenced by the two of them more than Anupama. Anupama taught them good things but she was always ill-treated; her voice was always suppressed. So, naturally, they grew up thinking Baa and Mr Shah are more powerful/right. Plus, they will talk and behave like their elders. So congrats to Baa and Mr Shah for raising Pakhi and Toshu as their carbon copies.

Are you claiming, having a doormat of a mother, who constantly worships her abusive husband and in laws, doesn't make a difference to how kids grow up?

The reason they were influenced more my vanraj is because her behavior made her have zero respect. Who can respect such a person?

Even today she is constantly roaming around her abusers house, serving their family and listening to their taunts

No children in the world will respect such a doormat of a parent. And when you don't respect, you don't obey from them and learn from them.

And a lot of that is Anupama's fault

Partly true. Anupama's obsession for their in laws and ex is beyond me. She needs to have some self-respect. However, it's also true that selfishness, greed, treating people poorly etc did not come from Anupama at least. It came from Vanraj and Baa.

Anupama kya bolti है kya sochi है anupama ki khud ki opinion kya hai does it really matter for anyone

When ever anupama try to give her own thought regarding to any thing she is always badly crictised by some character of serial

No for once try to understand from anupama try to understand pov bus anupama ko yahi proove karne ki. Koshish karte ki tum illetrate ho bus 12th pass to tumhasre अंदर तो बिलकुल akal nahi tum to bevkoof ho

Anupama ne khuch bola nahi apne विचार रखे nahi sub uske upar chad jaate है

Originally posted by: Harish111

Are you claiming, having a doormat of a mother, who constantly worships her abusive husband and in laws, doesn't make a difference to how kids grow up?

The reason they were influenced more my vanraj is because her behavior made her have zero respect. Who can respect such a person?

Even today she is constantly roaming around her abusers house, serving their family and listening to their taunts

No children in the world will respect such a doormat of a parent. And when you don't respect, you don't obey from them and learn from them.

And a lot of that is Anupama's fault

Totally agree on this.

Also this is the case in most of the household where the father holds more influence & say while mom is just taken for granted.

While we do get irritated with Anupamaa for her doormat behaviour towards the Shahs, it is fair to note that she does try to teach her children good things at least when she isn't busy crying and acting like a helpless woman. Toshu is a gone case- he's a grown up and is going to be a father so there is no point in trying to drill any sense into him now. Pakhi is still growing and could be corrected provided she grows a brain. Like we saw in the food wasting track, Anupamaa was furious and was tackling Pakhi very nicely but Vanraj did not allow any punishment and Kavya was also fueling the fire. Imagine how it must have been when the kids were growing- even if Anupamaa wanted to discipline her kids, Vanraj and Baa must be coming to their aid and belittling Anupamaa- a trait picked up by the kids and also applied against their father later on. Even in today's episode, Anupamaa was explaining very nicely to Pakhi and it could've worked if Anuj hadn't interfered. But then again, Anupamaa can be more assertive now and should at least be strong and tough whenever Toshu and Pakhi start their nonsense instead of getting emotional and bursting into tears.

Exactly. Even cut connections with them man. These educated fools. Anupama runs business and is married to Anuj Kapadia. Areh, marrying a good guy like Anuj shows her character. People don't marry anyone unless they see good qualities in them. She is more successful in life then these two stupids. She shouldn't allow them to insult her like this all the time. It's time she does something.

Anyway, I got a badge today. I am now promoted to GroupBie.