chup tum raho, chup hum rahein...
Standing by the window of the shabby room, he looked out to see the rain getting heavier....she watched him intently from afar...her gaze made him uncomfortable...he gave her a quick glance and a small forced smile as he walked across to the fireplace and shuffled the logs to keep himself occupied.
“Anuj” dreading the question in her calling his name, he quickly replied with a bland “hmmm” and sat himself in the armchair facing his back to her.
His repulse was hurting her...she would have never agreed to drive back with him from the mandir had she known how awkward it would be for the both of them......had he changed so much in the last five years she thought or was it her who had changed? mentally dismissing the latter she pulled her knees closer to keep herself warm.
He saw her do that from the corner of his eye and said “tum yahan aakar baith jao agar thand lag rahi ho toh” pointing to the sofa covered in a white sheet he got up from his chair to dust it.
“nahin main yahin thik hoon” she refused his offer bluntly with a tone that suggested that its not the cold in the room but his cold behaviour that was bothering her...
Ever since they had met earlier at Bunty and Devika’s intimate wedding, he behaved odd as if they were strangers....she missed the crazy and happy Anuj she once knew but then much had happened after that.....
Resting her face sideways between her arms curled in on her knees she wistfully looked at him watching the embers and recollected another such long and thunderous night...the one that brought them closer...
*****
It was the night before the last final exam and the four of them had planned to get together for group study at Anuj’s place since his parents were out of town....Anu for some strange reason was a little unsure of spending the night away from home but Devika talked her into it like always.”kya yaar Anu, tu Anuj ki girlfriend hai... mujh par na sahi uss par toh bharosa kar, hum tujhe khaa nahi jayenge” said Devika trying to convince Anu. “baat woh nahi hai Devika, maine toh saari padhai bhi kar li hai, bas thoda sa revise karna rehta hai” Anu countered....”haan baba hum sab ko pata hai tu kitni acchi student hai, chal humko hi kuch padha de” Anu knew Devika wouldn’t budge so she gave in and agreed to join them...
Anupama and Anuj or MaAn as everyone at college liked to call them had been in a relationship ever since the first week of college, yes, a week is how long it took Anuj to woo her, at least that is what he believed at first only to know later that Anu was the first to fall for him, ...but it wasn’t love they said, not the romantic kind....they were the best of ‘ friends’ and everybody’s favourites...he was good at sports especially hockey and her passion was dance....they behaved like an ideal couple but failed to see what made them that...it wasn't just friendship, there was a lot more than that but they hadn’t realised it yet... ‘ek ladka aur ladki kabhi dost nahi ho sakte’ they always laughed it off when their friends teased them until things started to change in the last term of the final year...
Devika had started to take interest in Anuj or atleast that is what Anu believed...though the four of them, as in Bunty, Anuj, Devika and her spent most of their time together, Anu started staying aloof when she suspected Devika’s feelings for Anuj while Anuj on the other hand was oblivious to it and was busy setting up Devika with Bunty.
“Anu tujhe ho kya gaya hai yaar..kyu itna weird behave kar rahi hai?” asked Anuj worriedly when he found her sitting by herself outside the dance hall of the farewell party “kuch nahi hua hai, tujhe Devika dhoond rahi hogi, tu jaa?” she said pushing him towards the hall...”Devika mujhe kyu dhoondegi? woh toh ab bas Bunty ko....ek minute....”. he bent a little to look at her sorry face and knew exactly what was going on with her...”are you kidding Anu? tujhe laga mai Devika se? hahahaha” he laughed leaving her perplexed...” Anu meri taraf dekh” he requested but she looked away ....”look at me Anu” he was serious this time...turning her face to him he said ”Anu yaar mai toh tujhse...” he surprised himself and her with an impromptu confession...perhaps they knew it all along but didnt feel the need to say it until now...Anu had very little time to process what just happened and before she knew it, he slid his arm around her waist and pulled her into a tender kiss.
*******
“kuch kehna chah rahi ho?” he asked breaking the eerie silence...she was still savouring the kiss from her flashback and didn't hear him .
”Anu” he said, this time a little louder...expecting a reply he turned the chair around to look at her...”huh? kya kaha tumne?” she was flustered a little to see him facing her...”nevermind” he whispered dejectedly and just as he tried to turn back he heard her say “Anuj hum kya kabhi uss raat ko bhula payenge?” he couldn’t believe she brought night up which made this night a lot more awkward....overwhelmed with her frankness he cautiously said “uss raat...uss raat ko toh maine bohot pehle bhula diya” he lied... both knew they could never forget that night and slipped into a flashback of what had happened 5 years ago....
Half way through the study night Devika got a call from her mum to say she wasn’t feeling well and she had to rush home with Bunty on his scooter leaving Anu behind. Anuj knew Anu wouldnt be comfotable and offered to drop her home once Bunty got back but he never did...It had started to rain and the heavy thunderstorm winds scared Anu....Anuj brought her some chocolate milk to calm her down and tucked her in his bed and got back to his books aiming to pull an all nighter...She tossed and turned but couldn’t get herself to sleep, the loud thunder made it harder and she screamed out loud when the window latch unlocked itself....”Anu, main hoon yahan” he rushed to comfort her...frightened, she begged him to stay by her side until she feel asleep and he obliged. As the thunder quietened and Anu seemed calm, Anuj gently tried to slide her head back onto the pillow from his lap and just as he got up to leave, he felt something tugging his shirt.
******
“hum toh pyaar karte the ne ek dusre se?” Anu needed answers to why he had left her after that night without giving any reasons...flabbergasted, he walked back to the window and looked out hoping she would understand his silence....but she refused to let it go without justification...”batao Anuj, mujhe jaan na hai ki uss raat jo hua kya galat tha? she insisted...and this time he was ready with a fitting reply..”haan galat tha” he yelled walking upto her...”galat tha kyuki maine ye galti tumhein karne di” grinding his his teeth in anger he said “aur galat ye bhi tha ke jab mai tumse milne aaya tha ek saal baad toh tum kisi aur ki hone jaa rahi thi” slapping the wall in frustration Anuj poured his heart out to her...confused and relieved, with tears in eyes she asked “tum mujhse milne aaye the? and he shook his head to say yes...Anu’s face lit up like a Christmas tree to know there was still hope...holding him by his arms she said “Anuj meri taraf dekho” he refused to...”Anuj look at me” this time she bent to get him to look...
“Anuj mai hamesha se tumhari thi aur tumhari hi rahungi” clearing his doubts in an instant she waited for him to speak “par tumne toh shadi...” he asked hoping it weren't true....”nahi ki ” she replied with a twinkle in her eye... He couldn't believe what he had just heard, she belonged to him and him only, the feeling took time to sink in and when it did he lifted and cradled her in his arms and whispered sweet nothings in her ears all through the night...
honton par honton se likhe bin shabdo ke geet
dharti se a,ber tak goonje jismon ka sangeet
ungliyo ko, ungliyo se
mausamo ko mausamo se baat karne do
chup tum raho chup hum rahein
khamoshi ko kamoshi se
bekhudi ko bekhudi se baat karne do...
firstly sorry for the late post and I know it got a little boring, filmy and cheesy as usual but yeah, agar pasand aaye toh please let me know, agli time I’ll try to do better...thank you🤗
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