Romanticising & infantilizing Anupamaa's braindead traits..

By people calling her bholi, seedhi, saaf mann ki, etc. Is she well-intentioned? Sure. But is she naive? Heck no. This 40s-something woman is immensely dumb at best & willfully ignorant at worst. Treating dumb/ignorant women as 'innocent' is so deep-rooted in our society that the audience is enjoying it!

We've already seen how cunning she is with financial golmaal. Enough iski-topi-uske-sarr has happened with the workshop. She's too dumb for paperwork but very quick at asking for huge amounts of money at odd hours.

Now coming to how willfully ignorant she is.. There was no freakin way, even in the show's world, that Anu could have landed the partnership with Anuj if he didn't have a personal connection with her. And yet, she asked him to treat her like a normal employee to keep up appearances in her head. She surely should have taken up the golden opportunity! But at least Kavya, for example, is self-aware & honest enough to acknowledge the beneficial personal connection with Anuj.

Then there's Samar. The trauma that he survived at the hands of Vanraj is so much worse than what Anu herself survived. V entered Anu's life in adulthood & had her silent consent while abusive her. But Samar, he has lived like this literally all his life. He has no happy childhood memories of a loving father to go back to. While Anu herself divorced Vanraj & keeps reminding him about how bad he was to her.. She only ever pushes Samar to go back to normalcy with Vanraj. We already know that Anu can recognise abuse. So when was the last time she acknowledged the abuse that her child faced? Let alone apologize for allowing that to happen to him in her presence? Samar is now so hungry for paternal love that he has latched on to a man he has known for barely a month..

... That isn't bhola & seedha hona. Those actions by a woman whose whole identity is built around being a great 'Maa'.. That's willful ignorance & selfishness.

Originally posted by: usernameyrkkh

By people calling her bholi, seedhi, saaf mann ki, etc. Is she well-intentioned? Sure. But is she naive? Heck no. This is a 40s-something woman who's immensely dumb at best & willfully ignorant at worst.

We've already seen how cunning she is with financial golmaal. Enough iski-topi-uske-sarr has happened with the workshop. She's too dumb for paperwork but very quick at asking for huge amounts of money at odd hours.

Now coming to how willfully ignorant she is.. There was no freakin way, even in the show's world, that Anu could have landed the partnership with Anuj if he didn't have a personal connection with her. And yet, she asked him to treat her like a normal employee to keep up appearances in her head. She surely should have taken up the golden opportunity! But at least Kavya, for example, is self-aware & honest enough to acknowledge the beneficial personal connection with Anuj.

Then there's Samar. The trauma that he survived at the hands of Vanraj is so much worse than what Anu herself survived. V entered Anu's life in adulthood & had her silent consent while abusive her. But Samar, he has lived like this literally all his life. He has no happy childhood memories of a loving father to go back to. While Anu herself divorced Vanraj & keeps reminding him about how bad he was to her.. She only ever pushes Samar to go back to normalcy with Vanraj. We already know that Anu can recognise abuse. So when was the last time she acknowledged the abuse that her child faced? Let alone apologize for allowing that to happen to him in her presence? Samar is now so hungry for paternal love that he has latched on to a man he has known for barely a month..

... That isn't bhola & seedha hona. Those actions by a woman whose whole identity is built around being a great 'Maa'.. That's willful ignorance.

Ab to dono mein dosti ka rishta ban gaya hai ab Anupama bhi Anuj ko apna dost manne lagi hai. Bas love hona baaki hai😆Khair aajkal ko Anuj aur Anupama ke beech chal raha hai wo normal boss aur employee se jyada hi hai to jo Anupama ka kehna tha ki hum sirf professional relation rahkege wo baat to kab ki chali gayi🤣And i think ki Anu itni dumb hai ki usse Anuj se pyaar ho bhi jayege tab bhi wo realize nahi karege ki usse pyaar hai. jab tak Anuj ke saath koi haadsa nahi hoga.

A much needed post actually!

I just can't understand why Anupamaa always asked Samar to be normal with his dad. Just hated it when in the initial episodes Samar was constantly tagged as loser and she just used to smile and let it go as if nothing happened.

For once she did not scold or questioned Toshu or Pakhi when they gave her place to Kavya for their respective programmes and their reasons being 'Anupamaa is good for nothing'.But Samar has a reason and his fears of not telling Vanraj anything.Why is she not understanding his fears?What guarantee does Anupamaa give that a man who broke his sons rishta twice over petty reasons and his own selfish motives will wholeheartedly support him now?

I am very sure that if Anuj was not involved in Rohan's case,the first thing he would do was to insult Nandini and ask Samar to leave her...he and his ladle Toshu don't even care about Samar's life...My blood boiled when Toshu said in one of the episode that Anuj got into Shah house because of his accident and blamed him...how much more selfish and insensitive can the baap beta jodi can be?

Yes, thank you!

Characters like Anupamaa perpetuate such harmful expectations from women in our society.

Women see Anu & aspire to be like that. If they too dumb themselves down, stay docile, & walk right into abuse in the name of family.. They will be put on a pedestal & be called 'mahaan'. Men look at Anu & get a hard-on. Aspiring to date/marry dependent, all-forgiving, willing-to-get-manipulated women like her.

These are not feminine virtues! Sita Mata was the manifestation of womanhood.. And even she went back to Dharti Maata instead of living in a lack of respect. That is aspirational femininity & motherhood! Not whatever Anupamaa gets called mahaan for.

I LOVE that they have a character like Devika who shows Anu the mirror. But would really appreciate if she started calling Anu dumb instead of mahaan.

Because it is TV show, they are exaggerating some things. but in anu's generation, getting married by the age of 18 and she has been gaslighted, made into believe that she was good for nothing for the past 25 years. It is not easy to shrug all of those overnight. and most of the ladies dint know if they can speak up at all in Anu's generation. They keep quiet becoz they dont know if it is right to speak up, due to their maayke financial situations, they dont want to insult their mom by doing anyting which will invite accusations from their MIL. That is how girls are brought up in india. All the childhood, teenage and the moment till you get married, all things will be related to marriage of the girl only and they are expected to shut their mouth and adjust for a peaceful life. Most of the ladies from previous generation are like that. They are made into believe that they dont know anyting and lose their confidence completely.

So i accept that some of scenarios in anupama are bit too much but still it is not totally out of reality. They are many women who still struggle.

Just becoz pakhi and toshu do some mistakes she cant allow samar also do the same mistake. She is just trying to make him do what is right.

Jo anupama ne anuj ko praise kiya devika ke saamne anuj ke prati ne anupama ne jo sincere thanks show kiya . Yeh bhi kya anupama ki dumbness, hai ?

Anupama dumb hoti to anupama aur moorkh mandali like toshu , vanraj aur baa ki tarah anuj pe blame laga rahi hot

And I feel nothing wrong in when anupama said to anuj mujhe specially treat nahin kiya jaaye . Dont understand is anupama ki dishonesty ki baat kahan se aa gayi . Anupama ne anuj ko impartial hone ko bola hai. Anupama nahin chahtti ki anuj anupama ko specially treat kare to isme khuch bhi गलत nahin hai

.

Anupamaa asked Anuj to not give her preferential treatment & yet keeps asking for it (or accepting it without even acknowledging that she's getting it).

That's willful ignorance, lady.

Well, it's not just how she is. In fact, that makes her relatable. And her getting divorced? That was a commendable feat for Indian TV. That's why I got hooked on to this show.

But it's the reverence that her dumbness/ignorance gets that's off. A character needs to call her out on her BS. Asking Samar to act normal isn't the 'right thing'. When she herself got divorced & acknowledges how abusive Vanraj was towards her.. Why does she turn a blind eye to the abuse that Samar suffered (and TBH still suffers depending on Vanraj's mood). When will she stop gaslighting Samar by chanting that Vanraj has always been a great father? When will she apologize for never taking a stand for Samar, when he was a child & couldn't take a stand for himself?

Have u seen day before yesterday episode how anu sincerly personally thanks to anuj for what anuj did to anupama

And anupama really dont know that lehnga is given by anuj. ( i think u refer special treatment to anu when anu get her favorite color lehnga and she is happy seeing lehna as gift by anuj )but Anupama still think that lehnga is gifted by devika . And it is anuj and devika urges anupama to they will drop anupama so they urges anupama to sit in car otherwise anupama already told that she will go by auto. So anupama wanting specially treatment is out of question

And it is not about dumbness. It is about faireness from anupama side. Anupama ne samar ko vanraj ko isliye batane ke liye bola taaki kul ko log yeh nahin keh paayein anupama samar se ki tumne apne father ko batane ki zarurat nahin samjhi. Kam se kam anupama ke paas yeh to jawab hoga, ki maine to bataya tha aapko rohan ke bare mein magar aapne kya kiya

Ek lawyer ke pass jaao woh bhi apne client ko apni taraf se fair hone ki salaah hi deta hai chahe doosri opponent party kitni galat hai. There is real incident where daughter in law become new mother but she is not coming to sasurali to show baby

Baat lawyer to gayi to lawyer ne kaha ki bahu galat hai but aap log apni taraf se fair ho ke khud bahu bete se milne chali jaagiye

To woh bahu pote se milne khud chale gaye. Ab yeh hoga ki log saas ke upar question nahin k kar paayenge ki tum apne pote nahin milne gayi tabhi to bahu tumhe poochti nahin

Is tarah anupama jo respect deti hai baa ko to anupama apni taraf se fair hai

Log yahi kahenge anupama to achi hai yahi leela dusht hai

Agar anupama leela ko lad rahi hoti to sab anupama ko hi galat bolte specially mohally ki aunty ki anupama ko hi bolti ki tum aisa baa se, ladti ho tabhi tumhare saath aisa behave hota, hai phir mauhally ki aunty ko leela ke prati sympathy hoti aur blame anupama pe lagta ki tumne baa, ki life Hell hoti hai

To yahaan baat dumbness or great ness ki nahin yahan baat fairnes ki hai. Anupama apni taraf se fair rahi to anupama koi question nahin kar paayega ki tum aisa, karti thi isliye saamne wala, tumhare saath aisa misbehave karta, tha