Toshu, Kinjal and Parenting

What most of us have been discussing since before Toshu -Kinjal wedding. The makers are slowly turning cards.

The ultimate product of Immaturity, greediness, and insufficiency - The Toshu baby. He is literally living his nickname "Baby".

This overgrown baby has a habit of getting everything on his hands. He probably did nothing his entire life except for studying. Anu gives everything in his hand, he probably doesn't even know where dishes are placed in the kitchen.

A person usually his age, usually knows how to be self-sufficient. Use sab kuch hath me hi mila he, so now he doesn't see any reason not to accept gifts from his mother-in-law. I don't think he is thinking about his capabilities, like Pakhi he is materialistic. The honeymoon package - only those two were happy. If someone provides for him for life, he won't move a muscle to do anything. I mean basic job or training kise krni he, direct MD ban jau.

He doesn't even think that if that position should be given - it should be given to Kinjal. Like seriously what kind of delusion is that, on what basis he is claiming anything before Kinjal.

On the other hand, Kinjal - the so-called daughter of 'Not So Sanskari' Rakhi. She is been grown beautifully. Apart from a runaway wedding, selecting Toshu as a life partner - She is been perfect in her choices, has been mature and smart. It seems Rakhi was away while she was a kid, which again proves how wrong Anu - Vanraj's parenting is.

If you don't push your child to learn on their own or don't even try to teach them - this is what you get as a product - Toshu, and Pakhi. They got lucky with Samar. Spoonfeeding on every damn thing!!

PS: I am not really against Rakhi giving them a honeymoon package. I think that is how things usually work. One side of the family usually arranges for a honeymoon, if the couple themselves don't.

I didn't understand why they treated it as a Taboo. I mean, every couple in the family has kids - how did they get kids.🤪 Doing it is fine, but you can't discuss a honeymoon trip 🤣

Of course, what Rakhi pointed out was straight to the point - EMA is fine, Vanraj living with Kavya is fine but a newly wedded couple can't discuss a honeymoon trip with their family.

that is what i have said last week regarding pakhi because they have been spoon fed all thier life of course it is parents fault

fine if father had been away but mum was at home all the time ,we cant blame only vanraj for it i know this show is regarding about Anu but every achievement starts from home especially from the child hood yes she is going to work out side is good but what about at home how and what she will teach the outside to the kids that what is right and what is wrong.

Why samar does not become like pakhi and toshu if there is fault in anupama parenting

Anupama ne pakhi aur toshu ko bhi good parenting di hai but toshu and pakhi intentinally refuse to follow anupama good teaching

So fault lie in pakhi and toshu who dont want listen good advice of anupama, fault is not lie in anupama parenting

Everybody's nature is different . Samar was influenced by Anupama more than others while toshu and pakhi are carbon copies of vanraj. The fault def lies with Anupama and vanraj and their parenting ..here parenting is secondary. When anupama doesnt find anything wrong with ba and vanraj (before ema revelation ), her right and wrong were also dictated by these 2 people not Anupama herself. Her eternal belief that everybody is good and kind hearted , her children are perfect is the main problem.

That stage is crossed now where Anupama needs to correct them. They are adults , overgrown kids actually but age wise , adults . They have been spoon fed their entire life n they expect the same . Toshu with his wife and pakhi with Anupama. There r several problems with such adults. N the only way they learn is when they are away from the influence of their parents and grand parents. However in the serial , superwoman Anupama will tc of all, and her belief will stand.

If rakhi should not interfere , ideally Anupama and her family must also not interfere . What kind of wedding it should be what honeymoon what job what should kinjal wear and what her daily routine should not be decided by either of the parents. But since toshu baby was spoonfed his entire life he is enjoying the attention from his mil lol. And kinjal is too desperate to live anupamas life.

In earlier episode anupama did say to toshu u should not take gift ( MD of coaching class) from mother in law when u not at all deserving. U have not complete ur studies so u should not take gift from mother in law

Anupama clearly say to toshu that u r not deserving to recive gift from ur mother in law

Even if toshu dont want to follow what her mother is saying that it is not at all anupama fault

Toshu ko teen logon ne samjhaya, kinjal anupama and baa but it is stubborness of toshu ki usne man bana liya hai ki use kisi ki baat nahi sunni hai. Toshu ko wohi karna hai jo use acha lagta hai

Anupama did protest when she find thing wrong

She clearly said to baa if i quite if vanraj come here that does not mean i did not feel bad

Agar vanraj ko aise baar baar ghar aana hai to vanraj ko ghar se bahaar nikaala hi kyon

Anupama is not spoon feeding toshu. Toshu himself want everbody should spoon feed him

If anupama would have spoon feeding him that she would have not tell toshu that u r not deserving to become MD of coaching class

Originally posted by: kooki07

fine if father had been away but mum was at home all the time ,we cant blame only vanraj for it i know this show is regarding about Anu but every achievement starts from home especially from the child hood yes she is going to work out side is good but what about at home how and what she will teach the outside to the kids that what is right and what is wrong.

Yes exactly, she acknowledges when they something wrong. It is in her gestures, but when she is going to tell them - it is wrong. Acknowledging alone doesn't do anything, they keep making the same mistakes again and again.

I don't even want to start on Pakhi, she is of another level!

Originally posted by: surabhi01

In earlier episode anupama did say to toshu u should not take gift ( MD of coaching class) from mother in law when u not at all deserving. U have not complete ur studies so u should not take gift from mother in law

Anupama clearly say to toshu that u r not deserving to recive gift from ur mother in law

Even if toshu dont want to follow what her mother is saying that it is not at all anupama fault

Toshu ko teen logon ne samjhaya, kinjal anupama and baa but it is stubborness of toshu ki usne man bana liya hai ki use kisi ki baat nahi sunni hai. Toshu ko wohi karna hai jo use acha lagta hai

Anupama did protest when she find thing wrong

She clearly said to baa if i quite if vanraj come here that does not mean i did not feel bad

Agar vanraj ko aise baar baar ghar aana hai to vanraj ko ghar se bahaar nikaala hi kyon

Anupama is not spoon feeding toshu. Toshu himself want everbody should spoon feed him

If anupama would have spoon feeding him that she would have not tell toshu that u r not deserving to become MD of coaching class

Yup, I partially agree. But my main point is - it is somewhere fault of Anu and Vanraj that both are like this. Anu started speaking recently like 2 weeks back. To me, she is still spoonfeeding all of them. Why Toshu is so used to spoonfeeding - if it is wrong why Anu is still not refusing it in the first place?

Spoonfeeding includes minor details - serving your own dish, helping out in the house when there is a crisis - you help solve them and don't get married and just add one more mouth to feed. Ever seen Toshu in Kitchen even to get his own food? Ever seen Anu encouraging any of the kids to learn a basic dish - so they can feed themselves when there is a situation? There are many other things. (Her response usually is - beta tu mat kar me hu na)

Do you remember her ever telling Toshu or Pakhi off when they used to throw tantrums and used Anu as a punching bag every now and then. It all started from somewhere - and it wasn't stopped back then. So hence, we see two grown children throwing tantrums whenever things don't work their way.

Right now, Toshu is not throwing tantrums partially because Kinjal is the one opposing.

And I don't even want to start on Pakhi! What she has been doing doesn't seem humanly possible to me.

In short, I pointed out parenting because - although these are just characters. But there has been some growth to them. I don't want to put the entire blame on parenting, but there has been the scope of improvement many times, which was neglected.

I couldn't stop comparing Toshu and Kinjal - because Rakhi is projected as a bad mom. While Anu you know it already. So, it is basically big hypocrisy to me that CVs ignore such minor but important details of the characters.

PS: I don't solely blame Anu. Vanraj is as much as responsible. (To some extent Baa and Bapuji too, they are elders after all) But I stopped analyzing that trash a while back. So my points might be heavier on Anu's side.

Ya i remember anupama telling pakhi and toshu off when both insult anupama

Anupama did feel hurt and said to toshu that u told to ur papa about kinjal but not to me . ( toshu being love to kinjal share only to vanraj not to anupama)

And toshu Even said to vanraj that i dont want mother ( anupama) to come infront of kinjal mother because my mother is not educated and if mother come infront of kinjal mother then then i could not marry kinjal

So he ask vanraj to brinh kavya as my mother in front of rakhi .

So when anupama was not at home at that time kavya became mother of toshu and serving snacks to kinjal family

When anupama come to know that toshu and pakhi bring kavya as her mother infront of rakhi. . Then she ask toshu that why he did so. Toshu said because u r not educated to mera rishta kinjal ke saath toot jaata if kinjal mother have meet u

Then anupama said sternly said to toshu and pakshi that maa ki qualification nahi di jaati maa ka pyaar dekha jaata hai

Even toshu said to anupama that how can u take decison of grand father operation without papa permission ( grand father has heart attack and anupama and samar keep trying vanraj phone that his father has heart attack but vanraj is not picking phone at all as his phone was silent)

So doctor ask anupama to take decison soon as vanraj is not picking phone

So anupama took decison of operation on advise of doctor

So when toshu to anupama that how she can take decison of operation of grand father witout papa permission then at that time anupama tell toshu off

Toshu Even Dont want anupama to learn driving but anupama tell toshu off

And Even anupama slap toshu when he come drunk at home and insulting every one at home

Anupama said to pakhi marriage is important but gettting educated and standing on ur feet is Very important so before gettting married u shoulder become self independent and stand on ur feet

Anupama Even question pakhi about cigarette when anupama found cigarette in pakhi school bag

So there are many example where anupama did tell pakhi and toshu off. And did give nice advise and score to both when both pakhi and toshu are wrong and try to insult and dominate anupama

But as i told toshu and pakhi ko wohi karna hai jo woh chahte hain. Woh anupama ki baat ko ignore karte hain

So if toshu and pakhi ignoring anupama teaching to galti to pakhi and toshu ki hui. Anupama ki nahin

I like your take on this. Toshu turned to be extremely pampered as the oldest 'baby' in the house. The family members were so happy to have their first third gen kid that they did not allow him to learn anything on his own. The preconceived society notions with the mother being pressurised to step back, the father looking at him as the zariya to achieve his dreams - MBA, Baa and Bapuji looking at him as taking the vansh forward and making him think as if he is the smartest on this earth has all played with his understanding. He loves Kinjal hence he is not acting out right now.

Kinjal has seen her parents start the coaching class. There may have been many times during her childhood when her parents (esp. Rakhi) must have been travelling to expand the business and create a brand of their own. She was expected to understand and learn to do things on her own, hence she is always eager to take up a challenge and complete it with utmost dedication. Rakhi may not be an ideal neighbour/society member in that she is classist, but never has she taught her daughter to compromise on her ideals and dreams, which she seems to be doing in her current role.

Lets see how this contrast works moving forward, and how the duo resolves their conflicts!