I need an advice on how to deal with my cousin. He is one year elder to me. Since early childhood days, our relatives always compared him and me and always praised me. I can claim that I never did so myself. Rather, I always helped him to the best possible extent and was always nice to him. Earlier he used to appreciate me for this. But he has changed in the last few months.
Now, he keeps on putting me down. His father is very influential. He has very good money and has contacts in high places. He tells me that I am nice to him simply because I need help from his father. But I have never taken help from his father. While behaving nicely with him, I never think that his father is a big man, so I should be nice. But he thinks that I am nice to him only because his father is a big man.
When he is working on some problem (e.g. Mathematics) and he does not know, then he asks me how to solve. I explain to him nicely how to solve. After I have helped him and his purpose is served, then he gets very offensive. He does not like that I could solve a problem, which he could not. He starts shouting at me and saying things like, "Do you think you know too much? I know many people in the world, who know more than you. You are nothing compared to them. You are not a nobel prize winner."
This shocks me because he himself asked me for solution.
He picks up a book on some topic, sees a problem in it and also sees the answer. He memorizes the answer. Then closes the book and asks the question to me. When I start solving, then after just a few seconds he tells the answer because he already saw the answer. Then he shouts at me by saying that everybody praises me for nothing and he could solve that problem in seconds. One time when he did this, then I told him that he had already seen the answer. But he shouted at me. Then I changed his problem very slightly. In his problem, there was a number 7 in one place. I changed it to 5 and asked him to solve in seconds. He shouted that I was daring to test him and I should be within my limits.
He keeps reminding him to be within my limits becaue his family is richer than mine. He keeps on reminding me of this.
There are many other ways by which he keeps on insulting me and also my brothers and sisters.
I am capable of putting him in his place because I know that he cannot harm me. His family being rich does not matter to me because I have nothing to do with his father's money. But the reason I tolerate is because I do not want to hurt his father (i.e. my uncle). My uncle is a very sweet person. He really wishes best for me. He has requested me to spend lots of time with his son. My cousin talks to me very nicely in front of my uncle and other elders in relation. But when they are not around, then he behaves very badly. In front of elders, he lies very convincingly.
So, I do not know how to deal with him without hurting his parents? I swear that I have never insulted/shouted at/put down my cousin.
Kumkum Bhagya
