meeting boyfriend's expectations

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Mmm

@xsweetbabygyalx

Explorer

Posted: 16 years ago

😕hi.....sorry 😕 if i post this question in the wrong section. I had posted about relocating car to Mumbai but I switched the subject and the problem around because on that issue, I will ask a lawyer or whoever I can.

I don't know if I meet the full 100 percent of my boyfriend's expectations and this is where I need some help. To give a little background, I try to be romantic as I can, surprise him with gifts, and help him in his problems as well as dressing as much attractive as I can and changing my style at times to still be attractive for him. He has chosen to marry me and now is much more serious and desperate and I am also very serious about marrying him just as he is about me. I am really worried about meeting his expectations because I want to keep him happy and be that dreamgirl of his. I used to dress like a tomboy but i now started dressing ladylike. To give his background, he is simple, Indian born, Indian cultured, dresses classy and casual and I think the down to Earth type. I don't have a brother so I don't know what exactly guys expect from us girls, esp boyfriends. I already know what to do for our wedding but I think I should change my personality slightly a little bit as I am the quiet type.

GUYS: what do you expect from a girlfriend to keep you happy?

GIRLS: feel free to comment, tell me your suggesstions and advice if you have any.

thanks for taking your time in reading my problem 😊

Edited by xsweetbabygyalx - 16 years ago

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Arun - <--haa ji meri tasveer hai

@AsliiGuy

Dazzler

Posted: 16 years ago

Good questions..

I can see how you want to meet and keep his expectations but I would like someone for who they are...I wouldnt want her to change at all.

As far as expectations, i dont think you can meet every single one, and it goes the other way too, a guy cant meet everyone of a girls...

But if you ever think you fall short at one, I would talk about it..Dont hide it..Like lets say, he loves something and you dont know about it tell him.

i am kinda like your bf, except i was not born in india and dont have extremely strong tradtional-indian upbrining, but i am sure he would love for who you are, and accept you..

I heard from others that marriage is like a new world, its like you never knew the person once your married (because so much connections are made again, and so much is revealed i heard)..

But in all, i think you are taking a good approach being concerned about his happiness, as he should be doing the same for you.. I wouldnt worry too much, just put love first..

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Eran

@umrao_jaan

Inactive

+ 3

Posted: 16 years ago

The golden rule is "Marry the person who loves yoou for what you are."

But in reality, I know its very hard. Its a pretty common situation.

All guys want someone they can show off proudly "Look she's mine". The fact you want to adjust yourself to your boyfriend, shows how willing you are to make a committment.

But, don't let it make you feel inferior. If you think you should be more outgoing-do it because YOU, not HIM wants it. You should first love YOURSELF before you are capable of loving another person.

If he critcizes you, tell him how much effort you have taken to change.And that he must appreciate it. Develope your self-confidence-that's a thing all guys like.

And I think, before thinking of marriage-the two of you should get to know each other better.

Hope this helped.👍🏼 Looking forwards to hear what's happening now from you. :D

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Maan-Diwani

@Maan-Diwani

Inactive

+ 2

Posted: 16 years ago

if ur bf can't accept you for who u are 100% than i'm sorry to say that he's not worth it, you should never try to change urself for somebody because than you just end up losing urself.

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dream

@dream

Voyager

Posted: 16 years ago

yea..u should just be yourself...apart from that spend more n more time with him..n try to ccok his fav food..i knw guys luv it....n what else..just be loyal to him & love him..i think thats enough fr a guy!

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Mmm

@xsweetbabygyalx

Explorer

Posted: 16 years ago

he doesn't have too many expectations (i think) but I can honestly say that he never told me what he expects in a girlfriend or wife. The only expectations I know he has is being beautiful, hot, and fit (meaning toned body) and I think that's it. I had kinda transformed myself in dressing more of a girl-girl because I don't want to be mistakenly called a "son" again 😆.(when I was 13, I was standing at the bus stop with my mom and baby sister dressed as a tomboy with a purple baseball cap and 3inch heel white sketchers gym shoe and a guy with long white hair said "excuse me son" and I was shocked) Keeping my body toned is my own goal.

He one day said that I meet 68 percent of his expectations. That's why I am a bit worried because I don't know if that's a good thing or bad 😕 then he said that he was joking I guess I shouldn't worry about it 😆 The problem is, we're in a long distance relationship due to my house circumstances but am planning to visit him this year. I know in reality when we both meet, he's going to be really happy.

I can cook, had been cooking ever since I was 12 1/2 and was always good at it but this year my cooking is Mmm delicious (I myself enjoy my good cooking 😆) I grew up here in America so I don't know the basic indian cooking but I know his favorite food and the good thing is that I can cook most of them but just need to learn only a few more.

my question is: meeting 68 percent of his expectation, is it a good thing? 😕

I noticed something about him, he worries too oo oo much about keeping me happy and whenever I get busy with my life and don't communicate with him for one day or one week, he starts panicking......I know this is very sweet of him or very adorable but sometimes it gets me kinda irritated then makes me laugh my heads off. He is also worried about meeting my expectations and he doesn't want to make another mistake again where I would get upset, I know this because he told me this on New Year's Day. I don't know how else to explain him that I like him the way he is. I guess he pretty much likes me the way I am due to my personality because his behavior pretty much shows it.

I will keep you posted 😊😉

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Mmm

@xsweetbabygyalx

Explorer

Posted: 16 years ago

Originally posted by: AsliiGuy
Good questions..

I can see how you want to meet and keep his expectations but I would like someone for who they are...I wouldnt want her to change at all.

As far as expectations, i dont think you can meet every single one, and it goes the other way too, a guy cant meet everyone of a girls...

But if you ever think you fall short at one, I would talk about it..Dont hide it..Like lets say, he loves something and you dont know about it tell him.

i am kinda like your bf, except i was not born in india and dont have extremely strong tradtional-indian upbrining, but i am sure he would love for who you are, and accept you..

I heard from others that marriage is like a new world, its like you never knew the person once your married (because so much connections are made again, and so much is revealed i heard)..

But in all, i think you are taking a good approach being concerned about his happiness, as he should be doing the same for you.. I wouldnt worry too much, just put love first..

Thanks buddy =).....great advice and thank you soo much for encouraging me and giving me an idea.

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Mmm

@xsweetbabygyalx

Explorer

Posted: 16 years ago

Originally posted by: umrao_jaan
The golden rule is "Marry the person who loves yoou for what you are."

But in reality, I know its very hard. Its a pretty common situation.

All guys want someone they can show off proudly "Look she's mine". The fact you want to adjust yourself to your boyfriend, shows how willing you are to make a committment.

But, don't let it make you feel inferior. If you think you should be more outgoing-do it because YOU, not HIM wants it. You should first love YOURSELF before you are capable of loving another person.

If he critcizes you, tell him how much effort you have taken to change.And that he must appreciate it. Develope your self-confidence-that's a thing all guys like.

And I think, before thinking of marriage-the two of you should get to know each other better.

Hope this helped.👍🏼 Looking forwards to hear what's happening now from you. :D

Thanks =) I really appreciate it.😊 Since we are in a long distance relationship, I am planning to visit him this year as soon as I can to get to know him better. Your advice has helped me out a lot! along with Arun's advice.

I will keep you posted😉

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Mmm

@xsweetbabygyalx

Explorer

Posted: 16 years ago

Originally posted by: kuch kuch hota
if ur bf can't accept you for who u are 100% than i'm sorry to say that he's not worth it, you should never try to change urself for somebody because than you just end up losing urself.

Thank you for your suggestion, reminded me of something very important. I should be extremely careful before I get hurt. I don't wanna change myself completely but only slightly, such as being more confident and more girly as I am kind of tired being a all day long tomboy.

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Mmm

@xsweetbabygyalx

Explorer

Posted: 16 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: dream
yea..u should just be yourself...apart from that spend more n more time with him..n try to ccok his fav food..i knw guys luv it....n what else..just be loyal to him & love him..i think thats enough fr a guy!

thank you! 😊 I really appreciate it.

Thanks for the great idea, I will definitely cook for him once we meet in person. I know how to cook some of his favorite food, just need to learn 2 more recipes as I grew up cooking Pakistani and American food. I am new in cooking pure Indian food 😆 but I can learn once I find the recipe.

Talking about being loyal and loving him....that is something I do daily so it isn't a hard job for me at all.....at times I throw jokes at him or tease him around just to entertain him because I know he can get bored with me being serious all the time.

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