Heres what i think Abhi should do next... - Page 3

@ SValeCalGal and bewajah

Okay folks hold your horses! Really, I'm not suggesting that he actually fantasises over his mum... it's an unconscious thing ... more of "id" than "ego" ...

As for Oedipus Complex... I apologise for using the term loosely... I'm no psychotherapist!

I do not (as im sure you don't wish to be bored) wish to delve too deeply into all things Freud (and Jungian and other subsequent Freudians)... its way beyond the scope here... but shall we, for the sake of argument (and I do love those! 😊) , just skim the surface?

It is the fate of all of us, perhaps, to direct our first sexual impulse towards our mother (says Freud not me, before you unsheathe your daggers!😉) Luckily for us, we invariably resolve it via a balanced upbringing (equal loving participation from parents of both genders)... The resolution of the complex lies in identification with the parent of the same sex... (usually happens between age 3 -5 in boys, again according to Freud, and all a theory )

I think I can safely say that there's a possibility our Abhi didn't get much daddy-love at an earlier age?

Unresolved the complex manifests itself as neurosis (no that doesn't mean he's psychotic, its just the build-up of his psyche and that makes him who he is!) which in his case is repeatedly falling for females older than himself (lucky for our Simi, eh!)... to support this, I offer not just the one incident he related but also his words "9^th standard mein mujhey 12 standard ki larkion se pyar ho jata tha!, suggesting a repeated pattern! We don't know what any of those girls looked like! (are air hostesses hot-as- hell always?) ... And here he is again falling for a much older (unattractive, lets not debate that here) woman... she is not a striking, sexy, worldly, more experienced older woman, which is usually the case why men fall for members of the opposite sex older than themselves!

It has also been suggested that men are sexually attracted to members of the opposite sex that have the physical attributes their mothers (or mother-figures) possessed when they were developing their sexual-psyche (again around the 3-5 yr mark)

Can I safely suggest that Mrs Tarneja was not exactly svelte and willowy when Abhi was that age! 😊

Originally posted by: belledejour

SValeCalGal:

oedipus complex?! Yikes . . . technically, she's NOT his mum . . . right?

bewajah:

but Oedipus complex??
she does behave like she's an older cousin/aunt tho

@ SValeCalGal and bewajah

Okay folks hold your horses! Really, I'm not suggesting that he actually fantasises over his mum... it's an unconscious thing ... more of "id" than "ego" ...

As for Oedipus Complex... I apologise for using the term loosely... I'm no psychotherapist!

I do not (as im sure you don't wish to be bored) wish to delve too deeply into all things Freud (and Jungian and other subsequent Freudians)... its way beyond the scope here... but shall we, for the sake of argument (and I do love those! 😊) , just skim the surface?

It is the fate of all of us, perhaps, to direct our first sexual impulse towards our mother (says Freud not me, before you unsheathe your daggers!😉) Luckily for us, we invariably resolve it via a balanced upbringing (equal loving participation from parents of both genders)... The resolution of the complex lies in identification with the parent of the same sex... (usually happens between age 3 -5 in boys, again according to Freud, and all a theory )

I think I can safely say that there's a possibility our Abhi didn't get much daddy-love at an earlier age?

Unresolved the complex manifests itself as neurosis (no that doesn't mean he's psychotic, its just the build-up of his psyche and that makes him who he is!) which in his case is repeatedly falling for females older than himself (lucky for our Simi, eh!)... to support this, I offer not just the one incident he related but also his words "9^th standard mein mujhey 12 standard ki larkion se pyar ho jata tha!, suggesting a repeated pattern! We don't know what any of those girls looked like! (are air hostesses hot-as- hell always?) ... And here he is again falling for a much older (unattractive, lets not debate that here) woman... she is not a striking, sexy, worldly, more experienced older woman, which is usually the case why men fall for members of the opposite sex older than themselves!

It has also been suggested that men are sexually attracted to members of the opposite sex that have the physical attributes their mothers (or mother-figures) possessed when they were developing their sexual-psyche (again around the 3-5 yr mark)

Can I safely suggest that Mrs Tarneja was not exactly svelte and willowy when Abhi was that age! 😊

belledejour....

thanks for enlightening us about the oedipus complex ...

Abhi was in boarding school........so the assumption that he was closer to his mum than dad is questionable........

Originally posted by: N.i.s.a

belledejour....

thanks for enlightening us about the oedipus complex ...

Glad to be of service... 😊 unless ofcourse i've missed the subtle notes of sarcasm... pitfalls of the medium 😊

Abhi was in boarding school........so the assumption that he was closer to his mum than dad is questionable........

went away in "7th standard" didn't he? well past the 5 yr mark (the formative years) i think... remember the tent pegged in the graden for three days? 😊

the theory requires a resolution of the complex via idenification with the same sex parent ... hence special bonding wih the mother is not a requisite... that is instincive...

.

No, sarcasm...

I missed the 7th grade part..

Originally posted by: N.i.s.a

No, sarcasm...

I missed the 7th grade part..

Now what happens if he was adopted?