Chapter 3
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[MEMBERSONLY]
EXPELLIARMUS 2013-06-29 05:49:29
2) Dono hain alag disha...
"Why don't we talk about what's really going on here?"
He just couldn't believe his ears.
He couldn't accept the fact that this woman, who had single-handedly thrown him back into the nightmares of his past, now wanted to initiate a conversation about that very event?
He pulled in a deep breath as he fought for control and tried to remind himself about where exactly they were standing.
This wasn't the time or place for this, and Ms.Khushi Kumari Gupta needed to be made aware of that fact.
Not that there was a time or place for this, ever.
He did not want to revisit his past, and certainly not with the woman who had...
"What's wrong, Mr.Raizada? I'm just confronting you with the truth here. Both you and I know that everything you've said and done today has been fueled by the events of a decade ago,and I don't..."
"Enough!!"
She stilled, and took an involuntary step backwards.
Apprehension clouded the hazel of her eyes for a moment, but he was gone too far to care now.
"I am not going to stand here and discuss the past with you, of all people! And may I remind you, Ms.Gupta, that the issue was the lack of relevant details in the file, and whatever happened a decade ago has nothing to do with that. And moreover..."
He took one step towards her, deliberately invading her personal space.
"...it's one thing to merely talk about being professional, Ms.Gupta. I think it's time that you started acting like one too, and keep your personal issues out of this."
"I am not the one who has brought my personal baggage into my professional life! Ever since I saw you this morning, I have done my level best to try and remain civil and polite, and perform my job to the best of my ability. But your anger and resentment isn't allowing me to do that, so you are the one responsible for this!"
Beyond furious now, he took another step towards her, but the tense silence was broken by a new voice, and both turned towards the source of the interruption immediately.
It was his driver, and he was standing there with his cell-phone in his hand.
"You forgot this in the car, Sir. It's been ringing continuously.."
"Thank you."
He took the phone from the man, and waited while he walked back the way he had come.
He turned back to face Khushi, but before he could say a word, his phone rang again.
"Hello? Nani? No, I'm fine, I've just been delayed after a press conference. I'll be home soon, don't worry."
He cut the call, then spoke in low, tense words.
"The past has nothing to do with this, and I do not want you to ever mention that again. Do you understand?"
"I don't take kindly to threats. Or manhandling, for that matter. Do you understand that, Mr.Raizada? As for the past, if you don't want it to be mentioned, then start acting that way. You could begin by behaving like any other employer, for a change."
His anger abruptly lessened when he realized the truth behind her words.
How could he expect their work to be unblemished by the past, if he allowed it to occupy his mind over all else?
He was stuck with her for the next few months, there was no doubt about that. What would he gain by making things uncomfortable between them?
It wouldn't change the past, would it?
Nothing could.
That thought made his breath catch as the old, familiar grief swept through him, and he turned away before she could see the vulnerability in his eyes.
"We'll begin with a clean slate tomorrow, Ms.Gupta. At least, I'll try to."
That was the best he could do, and he quickly walked away before she could say anything.
But even as he walked down the corridor and out the main door, he could feel her eyes on his back.
Questioning, burning eyes...
_____
The memory of those eyes gave him no peace, not even when he was back home in Shantivan. They had eaten dinner in an atmosphere of forced cordiality, since he still wasn't comfortable enough with this entire situation and the fact that he was living with his family again.
Akash had retired to bed, and Arnav was sitting on the recliner in the garden, the only place that gave him a measure of peace in this whole house.
"Chotey..."
He turned to face Nani, as the demons of the past came back to haunt him once more.
"How many times have I told you, don't call me that!"
Nani stared at him for a moment, then nodded reluctantly.
"Arnav bitwa, I heard about what happened in the office today. And part of it is my fault, I did not realize that she was part of the staff..."
He waved a dismissive hand, the turned back towards the plants.
"It doesn't matter, what's done is done. I don't want to talk about it anymore."
"Maybe you should talk about it. You cannot run away forever..."
"What makes you think I'm running away? I've made a good life for myself back in the States, and I have a successful career. And when this stint in politics is done, I'll go back to..."
"...an empty apartment with no one to come home to each night? Tons of money, but no one to spend it on? That isn't a life, bitwa. That is merely an existence. I'm afraid that you are letting the past cloud your present, and that's why I hope that coming back to your own country might open your eyes to all the possibilities..."
He stood up, suddenly restless.
"Stop it, Nani. I came back only because Akash isn't ready, and I'll leave when he finally is. That's all there is to it, and I hope that you aren't dreaming of more. Because if you are, you're bound to be disappointed. I love my work in the US, and I cannot imagine living without it. The atmosphere here stifles me, and I could never even think about staying here for one moment longer than necessary."
"What if Akash is never ready?"
"What?!"
Nani sighed, then looked up at him once again.
"I'm beginning to think that Akash may never be ready to take over from you. He's been the chair of the youth committee of our party for years now, and he still feels that he doesn't have enough experience! To me, that sounds like he is just trying to put things off. He might never..."
"He will have to, Nani. Because I'm not staying here forever, let me tell you that right now. So if you fail to persuade Akash, then you might as well give up all hopes of continuing your reign over the party."
"Arnav, you are..."
The shrill ring of his phone was never more welcome to him,and he quickly answered.
"Hello? Yes, I'm fine. Give me one minute."
He looked at Nani, then pointed to his phone.
"It's an important call, I'll have to take it."
Nani stared at him for a long moment, then finally nodded and turned away.
He waited until she was out of sight before speaking again.
"Hi Sheetal. How are things at A.R?"
A few minutes later, he put the phone down,feeling better already.
That talk with Nani had threatened to shatter his composure again, but discussing the business side of things with Sheetal had definitely put him in a good frame of mind. A.R always had that effect on him, it was his ambition, love and livelihood, all rolled into one.
He had made a good decision by leaving the business in Sheetal's hands, she had proved her worth as A.R's COO for the last two years and she had been the perfect choice to take over when he left for India.
He sighed.
That situation wasn't uncomplicated either.
Sheetal had given him numerous hints that she was interested in him on a personal level, but he had always held back. Mixing his business and private life had never seemed like a good idea back then, and he hadn't changed his mind about that even now.
He hadn't failed to notice the carefully hidden emotions behind Sheetal's questions about his well-being, and had tactfully deflected her laughing comment about coming to India to check up on him.
He wondered if he was doing the wrong thing by not taking her up on her offer. After all, she was sophisticated, successful , and ambitious, just the kind of woman he usually dated.
She was definitely not an opinionated spitfire who dressed in muted sarees and never accepted her mistakes...
Wait.
Where had that thought come from?
He turned away from the garden and headed for his room, determined to put all thoughts of her away from his mind.
He'd never be able to sleep otherwise.
________
Khushi tossed and turned in her bed, unable to sleep although it was well past her usual bedtime.
She sat up, tossing the blanket away as she reached for the lamp on the night-stand.
She knew why she had suddenly turned into an insomniac , of course.
Today had been the most unsettling day of her life, and she still hadn't come to terms with all that had happened.
Before this day,she had been under the impression that she had made peace with all that had happened ten years ago..but he had proven her wrong. The past still troubled her, and colored her reactions, she knew that now.
How was she supposed to keep working with him after all that had happened, all that he had reminded her of?
She stood up, unable to stay still any longer.
As she walked to the window, her eyes fell on her phone, and she impulsively picked it up and dialed a number.
"Hello? Khushi. why are you up so late?"
"I'm so sorry,Lavanya, I didn't realize that it was after midnight! I shouldn't have called you..."
"Shut up, Khushi. You know you can call me anytime, right? We were best friends before I married your brother, have you forgotten that?"
Khushi smiled as he tension dissipated almost immediately.
"I know that, La. How is N.K bhai?"
"Your brother is fast asleep, he has an early morning meeting. But I was unable to sleep, so I was working on an assignment."
"Assignment? You're still a newlywed, La. Can't you give the studies a break?"
Lavanya's tinkling laughter soothed her further, and Khushi sat down at her desk.
"I've been married for a little over a month, Khushi. That's hardly the honeymoon phase! But that's enough about me. How are you? And why haven't you called me lately? I've been hearing about you from your Amma and Bauji, they tell me that you've become very busy..."
"La...there's something I have to tell you..."
Moments later, she waited for her words to sink in. She had just told Lavanya about her new boss, and she wanted to know what she thought about her situation.
"Khushi...does your family know about this?"
"I don't know, La. They might have read about his election in the papers and connected the dots, but no one has said anything to me yet..."
"I don't know why I didn't think of this until now! And no, I don't think your brother knows. He's hardly interested in politics, so he might have missed the news. If he knew, then he would have been on the first plane from Bangalore to Delhi, asking you to resign..."
"Is that what you think I should do?"
"The question is, what do you want, Khushi? I admit, it must be difficult to face him again after all that has occurred...but I also know how hard you've worked to get this far, and I don't think it's fair to give all that up. But in the end, it's your decision..."
"I'm not quitting, La. I'd already decided on that. And towards the end of the day, he did surprise me by saying that about a fresh start. So I think I'm just going to grit my teeth and take whatever comes my way. If things get too bad, then I'll see what should be done."
"I'm proud of you, Khushi. You're not a quitter, I always knew that. And I'm going to make sure that your brother knows nothing about this..."
"We can't keep it from him forever, La. And I feel guilty about asking you to keep secrets from your own husband..."
"Let me worry about that, okay? Now take a deep breath, relax, and look at the stars for a few minutes, then try to sleep."
Placing the phone down, Khushi opened the curtains and did exactly that.
But tonight, there was no solace for her in the stars.
She sat there for hours, until she finally lost the battle against sleep .
But there was no peace for her there, either.
_________
Arnav stepped out of the white car, and flicked back his sleeve to look at his Rolex.
He knew it was too early, the driver had been taken aback when he had asked to be driven to his office at eight.
It was now nine a.m, but he wasn't expected here until eleven. That was when the parliamentary session started, and it would mark his debut on the floor of the Lok Sabha.
He knew all that, and yet, he hadn't been able to help himself. After a restless night's sleep, he had woken up very early and gone out for a morning run. The restlessness hadn't abated, so he had taken a quick shower and left immediately after breakfast.
He had had a stilted conversation with Nani, where he had informed her that he wold be moving to the official ministerial residence in a few days.
Shantivan wasn't nearly as bad as Sheesh Mahal, but it still brought back memories of happier times and he couldn't handle that.
Shifting to the official residence was a good move on all counts, and he couldn't wait to get back to his solitary lifestyle that he was used to now.
He walked into his office, ignoring the startled looks of his staff-members.
What was their problem, anyway?
Couldn't a man come in to work early if he wanted to?
He sighed, and sat down at his desk. There were a couple of files on it, and he picked them up, eager to get a head-start on his day.
But after a few minutes, he realized that he had a number of questions about what he was reading, and sighed again as he came to the inevitable conclusion.
It was time to call her.
He had been putting this moment off ever since he had walked in, but now there was no avoiding her.
He sighed again, and tried to remind himself of his resolution from last night.
Despite everything, he would try to treat her just like any other employee. With politeness, courtesy and distance.
He wouldn't let the past guide his actions, he had that much self-control, didn't he?
With that thought in mind, he picked up the phone and called her extension.
When the phone rang and rang with no answer, he slammed it down and cursed under his breath.
Why wasn't she answering her phone?
He stood up suddenly, and walked to the door, intent on seeing if she was even in the office yet.
Despite his resolution, he couldn't help but wish that he would catch her coming in late.
He hurried to her cabin, once again ignoring the other members of his staff who looked up as he strode past them.
He knocked once on her door, but there was no answer.
Now he was almost sure that she wasn't in yet, but he still wanted proof.
He pushed the door open, then took one step inside.
And froze.
She was there, alright.
Dressed in an all-white salwar kameez with the dupatta covering her head, she sat there, her head bowed in prayer.
His eyes immediately went to the object on her desk, and his hands clenched of their own accord.
He opened his mouth, intent on giving vent to his rage.
But something about the scene in front of him gave him pause.
He didn't believe in God, and never had.
Not for the past ten years.
But there was just something about the serenity in her expression that made him think twice before interrupting her.
And so he waited, angry with her for doing this.
Angry with himself for waiting for her to finish.
A moment later, she she looked up at him, apparently done with her ritual.
She stood up slowly, and he spoke before she could.
"If you are done with wasting your time and mine, could you come to my office so we could get started with the day's work? If I'm not mistaken, that is what you are being paid for, right? I'm sure the Government doesn't give you a salary to sit here , engrossed in a meaningless ritual."
Her eyes turned cold, and she turned back to her desk and began clearing it.
When she was finally done, she faced him again.
"Good Morning to you too, Sir."
The jibe was deliberate,and he couldn't come up with a suitable reply immediately.
Meanwhile, she gathered up her files and walked out of her cabin, leaving him with no choice but to follow.
When they reached his office, she entered first, and walked over to seat herself in the chair before his desk, and started speaking before he could sit down as well.
"The parliament session starts at eleven, and I assumed that you would be here then. If I had been informed about your early arrival, I would have made it a point to finish my prayer before that time."
"It doesn't matter if I was here or not. This is an office, not your home or a place of worship. I don't think it's very...professional to bring in...all that stuff and indulge in all these rituals while there's work to be done."
"With all due respect, Sir...the Indian constitution gives us the right to practice our religion whenever and wherever we see fit. And I would take your complaint very seriously if my prayer was interfering with my work. Since I did not even know that you were here, I don't think you can accuse me of negligence."
"So now it's all my fault? I'm sorry, Ms.Gupta. From next time, I'll make sure to send out a press release before I turn up at the office."
"That won't be necessary. A phone call would suffice, I think. And now, can we get down to work?In this first session, you won't have to do much because there are no issues pertinent to our ministry that are being tabled today. All you have to do is become familiar with the details of parliamentary procedure, and this is..."
But Arnav was no longer listening.
His mind was occupied with a very startling revelation.
When he participated in all those sports, he knew that he did it for a specific reason.
He did it for the rush, the adrenaline-fueled thrill that swept over him whenever he bungee-jumped from a cliff, or rowed over treacherous white-waters.
He did it because he liked to flirt with danger, because he was addicted to that feeling.
So why the hell did he feel the same rush when he had just verbally sparred with the woman in front of him?
The realization left him unsettled, and he barely heard a word that she said through the next half hour.
When she was finally done, he snapped out of his introspection when she asked him if he had any questions for her before leaving.
"Questions? No...I don't think so."
He stared at her as she stood up, his mind whirling as he tried to come to terms with what he had just realized.
And then, anger took over again.
How could he find anything pleasurable about interacting with this particular woman?
He lashed out, unable to do anything else at the moment.
"I do have one suggestion, though. I think you should leave the fragile-looking salwars to the college girls, and dress according to your age and position."
She stiffened immediately, and he noticed that her hazel eyes turned a deeper shade with her anger.
"My attire is perfectly suitable for this office, Sir. It is an acceptable Indian dress, and I've worn it on many occasions. You, on the other hand..."
Immediately on the defensive, he stiffened as well.
"Me? What about me, Ms.Gupta?"
She looked him up and down before answering, and he suppressed the urge to look down at his formal white shirt and dark trousers.
"You're wearing formal Western attire, for your very first appearance in Parliament. Given that most of your peers will already be biased against you because of your status as a foreigner, the least you could have done was wear an Indian kurta. Blending in with everyone else wold be a first step to..."
"That's enough."
He hadn't raised his voice, but his low, cold words had the desired affect as she stopped speaking abruptly.
He rose from his chair and circled around his desk to stand in front of her, and stared at her for a moment longer before speaking.
"Your job is to guide and help me in my daily duties. It is not part of your job description to become my fashion advisor. It would be best if you would stay within your limits, Ms.Gupta."
She sucked in a sharp breath, but said nothing.
He savored the small victory as she turned and headed for the door.
Just before leaving, she turned back to him again.
"I will come here to your office after lunch, just before your meeting with all the chair-persons of the sub-committees."
He said nothing, alarmed to feel a twinge of regret that she was giving up so easily.
But he was even more alarmed when his heart raced at her softly-spoken last words.
"And I do hope that you will stay within your limits, when you are faced with all the subtle jabs and insults about your outsider status. Oh, and one more thing...Sir..."
He found himself holding his breath, and cursing himself for doing so.
"Rituals are not meaningless. Some people just like to think so, because it makes it easier for them to reject the idea of a God."
And with that, she was gone.
But her words stayed with him for a long time, even as his anger mounted at not being able to wipe them from his mind.
_________
Khushi stared at the man before her, and wondered what had set him off now.
The meeting with the sub-committee members was just winding down, and she could feel the cold vibes coming off him.
He was hardly saying a word, even as all the others did their best to impress him,and ingratiate themselves with him.
She had no idea about why exactly he was angry now.
It couldn't be about the earlier parliamentary session, she was almost sure about that. She had heard through the grapevine that he had fit in really well, despite his attire and different behavior. Apparently, most of the others were willing to give him a chance to prove himself, and the fact that he was Devyani Raizada's grandson had contributed greatly to that fact.
If it wasn't that, then what was it?
Even as they concluded the meeting and walked back to his office, she still had no clue.
She didn't have to wait for too long, though.
The moment the office door was closed behind him,he flung his phone onto his desk and turned on her, his eyes glinting with anger and disbelief.
"Just what the hell was that?"
"I don't know what you're talking about..."
He stabbed one hand in the direction of the conference room.
"That ,was a joke! All those members who head the committees, they know nothing about their supposed area of expertise! All they were interested in was making sure that their positions were protected by ingratiating themselves with me! And why the hell were most of them old enough to be my grandfather? How the heck am I supposed to discuss the latest medical technology with someone who isn't even sure what M.R.I stands for? And then..."
"Mr.Raizada."
She kept her voice low, but her use of his name was effective in stopping his tirade.
She hurried into speech, taking advantage of his momentary surprise.
"I think it's time you had a reality check."
He just stared at her, and she sighed.
Moving to the chair in front of his desk, she seated herself, and waited until he did so.
"Sir...I can understand why you would be surprised by all this, but it's fairly common here. Let me try to explain. Most of the members who are chosen to head prestigious committees such as these are being rewarded for their years of service to the party, so they are not going to be young. Their expertise in this field has nothing to so with their selection either. With all due respect, Sir, by that criteria, the ministry of health and family welfare should be headed by a Doctor, and not by someone who jumps off cliffs for a living."
He ignored that last jab, but she noticed the slight stiffening of his posture that told her that she had hit her mark.
"Are you saying that I should just sit back and watch these old men blow up all the funds allocated for my department? And what about you, Ms.Gupta? Are you okay with this state of affairs?"
"I would be lying if I said I was. But over the years, I have learned to work with what I have, and not complain about what I am never going to get."
"That's very magnanimous of you, but I can't deal with all this. Here's what I want you to do: By tomorrow morning, I want a detailed list of all these members and everything they have accomplished on these committees over the years. "
She stared at him, then took out her notepad and started writing all that down.
"But...what will you do with all this information?"
"Well, I'll start off by firing those members who have done nothing, and then I'll...why are you looking at me like that?"
She shook her head, amused despite everything.
"This isn't your company, Mr.Raizada. You aren't the boss here, you can't just fire someone because they are inefficient. If you do take someone off the committee and they are a member of the inner circle, they will go running to the party leaders, and you will be forced to take them back within days. You will lose face in front of the party members, and..."
"Dammit!"
He stood up suddenly, and whirled away towards the window.
"I can't believe this ! Are you telling me that I can't even fire someone who is totally inefficient without creating a scandal within the party? Do I even have any power as a minister?"
"Of course you do, but there is a time and place to use it."
He turned back to face her. and raised a questioning eyebrow.
"And I suppose you will tell me when..."
"I can only advise you, Sir. The rest is in your hands."
"So don't make me wait, tell me this precious advice..."
She ignored his sarcasm, and looked down at her notes.
"It's simple.I will make this list for you, but we will take action on it very slowly, over the next few weeks. If we do it that way, we won't draw the attention of everyone else. Also, if the inefficient member happens to be a close loyalist, then you don't fire him."
"What the hell do we do with him, then?"
She almost smiled at the 'we', but caught herself in time.
"We transfer him, of course."
"What do you mean?"
"We make him the chair of an useless committee, one that isn't actively involved in what we are trying to achieve at the moment. That way, you aren't the bad guy, the member keeps his position, and we are able to move forward with our plans by replacing him with someone of your choice."
She waited for his response, but all he did was stare at her for a moment.
And as he stood there with the last rays of the sun streaming behind him , a wayward thought caught her unawares.
He wasn't that bad-looking, even in his incongruous western attire...
She stood up abruptly, appalled at the direction of her thoughts.
How could she even think of something like that, about this man, of all people?
She hoped she wasn't blushing, and was thankful when he finally broke his silence.
"I know one person who isn't getting fired anytime soon."
"Sir?"
He smiled, and she realized that it was the first time she had seen him do that.
With her, at least.
"You, Ms.Gupta."
_______
Hours later, as he lay in his bed in Shantivan, he wondered why he had given her that assurance.
If he was honest with himself, he knew the answer to that.
She was good at what she did, and she had a better, more thorough knowledge of the political landscape when compared to him.
She was shrewd, yet straight-forward. Idealistic, yet pragmatic.
In short, she would be the perfect advisor, if only...
He turned around and punched his pillow, angry that he had forgotten the past, even for a few moments.
And in that second, he knew that he would never be able to sleep peacefully tonight.
Just like last night.
________
The melodious tunes of the shehnai filled the hallways of Sheesh Mahal, and he walked towards the poolside, which was decorated with flowers.
He was heading for the room which opened out to the poolside, and as he walked, he smiled in anticipation.
He knew that his gift would be well-received, he had chosen it well.
He looked down at the object in his hand, and touched it gently...
...just as he heard the shout go up, echoed by others through the Mahal.
"She's missing!"
"Where is she?"
Minutes later, they were all gathered in the courtyard, tired after a fruitless search.
His eyes scanned through the crowd, then focused on someone who had just entered.
And when his eyes dropped down to what was in his hands, he collapsed on the floor.
His entire world had been shattered, in one instant.
His scream rent through the night...
_____
Arnav sat up in bed, sweat streaming down his forehead as he registered just what had happened just now.
The old , familiar nightmare had returned, after many years.
And he knew just what had brought it on.
Her.
He stepped out of bed, his heart still racing with remembered terror.
He walked over to the window, taking in deep gulps of the cool night air in an attempt to escape from the clutches of the nightmare.
Why?
Why did she have to come back into his life, her very presence reminding him of...
************************
A/N: I know that there are many unanswered questions, especially about their shared past. I will answer them all in my story when the time is right, I hope that you will stay with me until then!
Thank you for your response to this story, it has truly humbled me.
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