Chapter 4
I'm excited to share this with you all, my awesome partner-in-crime Semanti has just posted the prologue of her brand-new ArHi FF.
Here's the link, enjoy! The Same Coin
3) Hai dhoop sa woh agar, woh chandni raat si hai...
Arnav leaned back against the recliner, his head still pounding with the remnants of the headache he had been suffering from earlier.
It had become his constant companion now, ever since the dreaded nightmare had made a comeback one week ago.
One week...
It had been one of the most stressful periods of his life, for various reasons.
First, there were the sleepless nights that left him feeling exhausted before he even had the chance to begin his day. His nights had been haunted by visions of that remembered horror, and sleep had become a foreign entity to him.
Everyday, he walked into work with red eyes and a tired mind, and he was barely able to focus on everything that needed his attention.
Work had been stressful too, as they attempted to restructure one of their committees without causing undue alarm in the party ranks. They had finally decided to take on one committee at a time, and he had chosen the Department of Health as that was something that needed immediate action. Once they had transferred the aging chairperson, he had asked for a list of the chiefs of medical staff at the various Delhi Hospitals. After interviewing a few, a suitable candidate was chosen after Khushi had ascertained his loyalty to the party. Apparently, that was as important as his qualification, if not more.
She had then wasted no time in calling a meeting of the new committee, and that was his first appointment the next day.
Apart from that, there had been the routine social appearances and parliament sessions, and he had gotten through most of them with her advice.
With his eyes closed, a small smile broke across his lips.
Just a week ago, had he really been thinking about firing her?
He couldn't believe just how dependent he was on her right now, how much her advice and opinions had come to mean to him.
She was rapidly becoming indispensable.
Indispensable.
That word bothered him, more than he cared to admit.
Of course, he could easily replace her in a few months' time, just like he had originally planned.
But as he got to know more about the political scenario, he somehow doubted that he would find someone who had her particular combination of honesty and intelligence, all backed by an exhaustive knowledge of his ministry.
As he had suspected, she was the perfect aide.
This job may not be the one he wanted to be doing, but if he was stuck doing it, then he couldn't have picked anyone better than her.
And if he was honest, he had to admit that work had suddenly become infinitely more interesting since he now had their daily battles to look forward to. No matter how much he valued her expertise, he always found something to disagree with. And in doing so, he felt that rush that he was now becoming addicted to.
And therein lay the crux of the problem.
At this point, respect, admiration, and anticipation were the things he felt when he walked in to work everyday and saw her in his office.
When all he wanted to feel, all he should be feeling...was hatred.
Hatred for everything that she had done all those years ago.
Hatred for making him suffer through all that...
He sat up suddenly, alarmed to realize that he was now almost forcing himself to recall the past, just to keep the embers alive.
How could this have happened?
Guilt swept through him as he stood up abruptly, unable to stay still for another moment.
No.
He wouldn't allow himself to forget the past.
He couldn't.
He valued her work, and that's where it would end.
He would become indifferent to all the rest.
What if that wasn't possible anymore?
He ran a tired hand across his eyes and turned towards the bed, tired of the inner conflict that raged within.
The vibration of the phone drew his attention, and he picked it up and answered when he saw who the caller was.
"Hello? Nani? Is everything alright?"
He put the phone on the speaker mode, and sat back on the recliner.
"Everything is fine, bitwa. I was just...calling to ask you how you are settling into your new residence."
"I'm fine, Nani. And you can just skip the pleasantries and get to the point."
There was silence for a moment, then Nani sighed.
"You know what I want to talk about, bitwa. "
"If this is about the party you want me to host at Sheesh Mahal, the answer is still a No."
He heard another sigh come down the line.
"Bitwa, we've gone over this again and again! Do you want me to repeat exactly how important this occasion would be?
Your election and nomination to the ministry has only been possible because of our loyalists, and we need to show them our gratitude. And since most of them are in your constituency, Sheesh Mahal would be the perfect place to..."
"No. I didn't go there when I was campaigning, and I'm not going there now. No matter what. Lucknow has many five-star hotels, you can pick one of them and..."
"Bitwa, that's exactly what I want to avoid. The only problem I have faced while trying to gain acceptance for you within the party ranks is the fact that you are an outsider, and hosting a cocktail party at a hotel would only reinforce the image of a westernized man who cares nothing for the traditions of Lucknow. On the other hand, if you were to host this at Sheesh Mahal, a place that embodies centuries of Raizada heritage, your image would be that of a man who values his past, his family and..."
"Family? Nani, stop right there. You, of all people know exactly what has happened at that place, and I don't know how you can even ask me to...never mind. I'm not having this discussion with you, Nani. The party will be held at a hotel, or there will be none."
"But Arnav..."
"Goodnight."
He cut the call and threw himself across the bed, willing himself to sleep.
Wishing that he was miles away from this place, where there were only painful memories, haunted pasts and tortured presents.
And one complicated, enigmatic woman whom he wanted to hate.
He did hate her.
He wouldn't allow himself to think otherwise.
________
Khushi took the dupatta off her head and draped it around her neck as she looked at the wall clock.
He would be here any moment now, and she knew that she wouldn't have a minute to herself after that.
He was like a whirlwind, sweeping through the office with his endless commands, instructions and questions.
And to her horror, she found herself looking forward to it, despite the continued arguments and thinly-veiled insults.
She stood up from her desk and gathered her files, desperate to focus on something else.
But it was a futile exercise, because the sight of the very first file reminded her of everything she was trying to forget. It contained the details about their newly appointed chairman of the Health committee, Dr.Shyam Manohar Jha.
The name reminded her of the person who had been responsible for the selection and appointment.
Her boss, Arnav Singh Raizada.
The man who was single-handedly trying to accomplish what his predecessors hadn't.
What she had always dreamed of, but had been unable to carry out on her own.
When she had first joined the civil service, she had been fresh out of academics, and had been idealistic to a fault. Like many other young people who joined the bureaucracy, she had hoped to make a mark in some way, and help take the Government out of the quagmire it found itself in.
But it had only taken a few weeks for reality to hit her, and it had hit hard. She had realized that red tape, corruption and general apathy were the norm, and one single person who was a subordinate, couldn't really move mountains when it came to making changes.
Since then, she had tried to adapt herself to her environment, and make changes where she could. She had advised, cajoled, and sometimes used subterfuge to get her way, but she had succeeded in improving things within the department to an extent.
But all that was just a drop in the ocean compared to what he was trying to accomplish.
She admired his objectives, and had thrown herself into doing everything she could to pave the way for him. Over the past one week, she had worked past her normal hours, and driven herself to ridiculous extremes, and now the result was before them.
One whole committee had been restructured in just one week, and the other secretaries looked upon her with surprise and respect.
Increasingly, she felt herself returning to the ideals with which she had started out initially.
And it was all because of one man, who insisted on running a ministry like a business.
A smile threatened to break out on her lips, but she schooled her face as she left her cabin.
Every single day now brought with it a sense of accomplishment that had been missing before.
How ironic that it should happen because of him,a man who hated her above all else.
She thought about this incessantly, wondering about the twist of fate that had brought them together again.
And she also found herself wondering...
What would this have felt like if the past had never occurred?
She shook her head to clear it, worried about the direction of her thoughts.
He was her boss, that's all.
The fact that they had a past was irrelevant.
Everything else was irrelevant.
She had to make herself believe that.
Her muddled thoughts came to a standstill when she realized that she was now standing in front of his office door.
She knocked quickly, and entered when she heard his voice.
He was standing in front of the window, his favorite spot by far.
He wasn't even looking at her, his eyes were busy perusing the morning's paper.
She took the opportunity to stare at him, something that was rapidly becoming a terrible habit.
He had entered this place like the rays of sunshine behind him, dispelling the gloom of neglect and apathy that she had been trying to fight for years...
She shook her head again, wondering when she had become so fanciful.
This wasn't like her, not at all...
At that moment, he looked up at her.
"Ms.Gupta, I..."
He stopped abruptly, and stared right back at her for a moment.
She had no idea what was happening here.
All she knew was that there was something new, something dangerous in the air right now.
And it scared her.
She looked away immediately, and was appalled to find that her heart was racing as if she had just run through the corridor.
Her eyes fell on the file in her hands, and she launched into speech quickly.
"I've got the...background report on Dr.Jha. Everything seems to be in order. There is nothing objectionable in his history, no malpractice suits or cases of negligence. On paper, he seems perfect."
"But?"
She forced herself to meet his eyes, and her heart lurched again at what she saw there.
Over the past few days, she had become used to seeing antagonism there, among other, equally disturbing things.
But this was the first time she was seeing a lightness in his expression, almost as if he was amused by her words in some way.
"But...what?"
He laughed, and she found herself staring once again.
But then he walked over to his desk, and the spell was broken. She sat down across from him, and looked at him as he spoke.
"Your face is an open book, Ms.Gupta. I know that you have some doubts about Dr.Jha, even though you seem to be hesitant about voicing them."
The fact that he could seemingly read her mind was disturbing, to say the least.
She gathered her composure and steeled herself , trying to remain professional.
"He is the perfect choice for the position, Sir."
"Is he? Then why is there always this..note in your voice when you talk about him?"
She shifted in her chair, wondering when exactly he had started observing her so closely.
"I don't know what you mean. He has everything we were looking for, and..."
"Ms. Gupta, I'm not a man who has a lot of patience. Just spit it out!"
She looked down at her hands, wondering just how she was going to explain this.
"There's nothing I can say. Nothing concrete, I mean. It's just that I get this vibe..."
"Vibe?"
He threw his head back and laughed out loud, and she felt herself turning red with embarrassment.
"I'm glad you found that amusing."
Her voice was icy, but he didn't seem to notice.
"It is amusing. Do you also believe in negative energies and feng-shui? What about auras? And..."
She stood up abruptly, her own patience coming to an end now.
"If there's nothing else, we should get going now."
He leaned back in his chair, apparently in no hurry to move.
"Bring me something concrete against him, and I'll stop laughing."
"If I do find something against him , you'll be the first to know."
"Oh, I'm sure I will. I know you'll take great pleasure in throwing that in my face."
"This is nothing personal, Sir. And of course, I might be completely wrong."
"Are you sure you're alright, Ms.Gupta?"
"What?"
"I hope you aren't ill, or something."
"I'm sorry, I don't..."
"This is the first time that you've ever admitted that you might be wrong, about anything. So naturally I wondered if there was something off..."
"I can accept my mistakes, Mr.Raizada. My ego doesn't get in my way."
"Even the ones you've made ten years ago?"
She stilled, taken aback by this reference to their past.
This was the first time he'd talked about it in days, and she couldn't stop the shiver that went through her.
"I thought we agreed not to make this personal. In any way."
He stared at her for a long moment, then stood up and walked around his desk towards the door.
"Let's go."
He was gone before she could say anything.
But she took a moment before she could follow, still feeling shaken by his sudden change in demeanor.
His mercurial mood swings were something that she was trying to get accustomed to, but to no avail. He had done this often through the past one week. He could be talking seriously about work one moment, and suddenly toss a casual insult at her the next. She never knew where he was coming from, and it kept her constantly on edge.
But through it all, they were getting a lot accomplished, and only that thought kept her going.
She took a deep breath and stepped out, heading for the conference room.
Trying to still her racing heart.
Trying to ignore the one thing that refused to be put aside as irrelevant.
The fact that some of her reactions might be due to physical attraction was something that she had pushed to the furthest recesses of her mind.
She couldn't think of him that way.
Ever.
_______
For the fourth time in an hour, Arnav had to ask Shyam Jha to repeat himself.
His attention had wandered yet again, and he knew just who was to blame for his uncharacteristic lapse.
The woman in pale yellow, who was even now frowning at her phone, ignoring him completely.
He couldn't believe this.
When the hell had she developed this allure for him?
He had known her in the past, and he had been working with her for days...but he had never felt this way before.
And now it was distracting him from his work, and he couldn't have that.
He turned away deliberately, and shrugged off the attraction.
It was physical, that's all. He had felt it before, for others.
There was nothing new there. With time, she would lose all novelty for him, and he could ignore her, just like all the others.
"I was just saying that the shortage of junior doctors is a huge issue. I think that should be given top priority. "
Shyam Jha's voice was a welcome distraction, and he utilized the opportunity to look around him at the hospital.
After the initial meeting of the health committee, Shyam Jha had suggested that they could begin by making a surprise visit to the largest Government hospital in Delhi, and he had agreed to accompany the other members.
But this visit had been a rude awakening for him.
The dismal shortage of supplies, the absence of the regular staff,and the general air of negligence which pervaded the hospital had come as a shock, and he still couldn't digest the fact that apparently, this was a fairly common scenario.
But Shyam Jha had taken it all in his stride and made many suggestions, this being the latest.
Arnav didn't hesitate before agreeing.
"If you think so, Dr Jha, then go ahead and do everything you can to actively recruit as many doctors as it takes to..."
"They won't come."
Khushi's voice cut across what he had been going to say, and he looked up at her.
And once more, he felt that...tug.
Dammit, this could not be happening!
Disbelief made him snap at her, making everyone on the committee stare at him in surprise.
"And what makes you so sure, Ms.Gupta?"
She didn't bat an eyelid, although he did notice a tell-tale nervous clasping of both hands.
"Junior doctors are the ones who are just starting out on their career, and their sole focus is their salary. With the current monthly pay scale here, they would never think twice before opting for a corporate hospital. So unless that is fixed, there is no question of recruitment drives being remotely successful."
"Then fix it."
"I beg your pardon?"
"If you think that raising the salary is what it will take , then do it. Immediately."
She stared at him for a moment, then looked away.
His jaw clenched at the clear evidence of her hidden laughter.
But before he could say anything, she turned back to him again.
"I'm sorry, Sir. It's just that...it isn't that easy. If it was, then it would have been done ages ago. We have to first take a recommendation to the Pay commission, get it sanctioned from the Medical Council, and then..."
"Then get started on it, dammit! Doesn't anything in this country move fast enough without getting caught in red-tape?"
"I'm afraid it doesn't, Sir. The trick is to make sure that the red-tape doesn't end up strangling the life out of every project."
"Fine. Then do it. I want this to be given top priority, along with any other recommendations made by Dr.Jha . And I want you to handle this, personally."
He knew he was being entirely irrational, but he couldn't help it.
There was an entire committee at Jha's disposal, and he didn't really need Khushi to get things moving in the right direction.
But there was an ungovernable urge inside him to punish her for making him want her...and he was giving in to it.
And hating himself while doing it.
Her eyes widened, and she looked at Jha before responding.
"But Sir, Dr.Jha has his team..."
"I'm sure he could use all the help he can get."
"But...I'm already handling all these other..."
"Are you saying that you can't handle your current workload, Ms.Gupta?"
It was an unreasonable question, and they both knew it. She was already working overtime everyday, and he knew that too.
But he just couldn't stop himself from completing what he had begun.
"I didn't say that,Sir. I can handle everything just fine."
He noted the stubborn set of her jaw, and the determination in her eyes.
Despite everything, he couldn't quite extinguish the flicker of respect that flared to life again.
"I want results, Ms.Gupta. That's all I care about."
He turned around, and started walking towards the exit.
Moments later, he was in his car. being driven back to the office.
Once he was there, he went straight to his office for an interview with a leading daily, followed by another with a news channel.
But through it all, he couldn't stop himself from thinking about her.
He couldn't stop hating her for invading his thoughts.
And he couldn't stop hating himself, for losing control like this.
______
Later that evening, he was still thinking about her while he walked towards his car, aware that he hadn't seen her even once since their return from the hospital.
A light rain had started falling earlier, but it had now intensified to a significant downpour.
His driver , Mohan, held open the car door for him. He was about to step into the car when a flash of yellow caught his eye, and he turned his head to see that Khushi was standing beside her car, her slim form now getting completely drenched in the rain.
"Ms.Gupta! What are you doing there?"
She looked up at him, startled.
After one last look at her car, she walked up to him where he was standing under the shelter of the balcony ledge.
"My car...the tire is punctured. I...I'll just call a taxi..."
"Madamji, there's a taxi strike today. And I don't think you will find any autos in this rain, either."
She stared at Mohan, then turned to look at the main road.
He sighed inwardly, knowing what he had to do.
And hating the fact that he had to do it.
"We'll drop you home."
She turned abruptly to face him, her eyes widening at his words.
"What? No, I can't impose..."
"Where do you live, Madamji?"
She hesitated, then told Mohan the address.
"It's a little out of our way, but it still comes before Sir's house. We can drop you. You can leave you car here, I'll tell the watchman on the way out..."
She bit her lip, then turned to look at the road again.
"Get in, Ms.Gupta. I don't have all day."
Without waiting for a reply, he got inside the car.
Moments later, she got in as well.
He felt a surge of anger at the fact that she chose to sit in front beside Mohan, but forced himself to ignore her entirely during the fifteen minute drive to her house.
When they finally pulled to a stop, he looked out at the grey block of apartments curiously. With even his limited knowledge, he knew that this was a safe, middle-class area of Delhi.
That thought gave him pause, although he didn't quite know why.
Before he could examine his train of thought any further, she had stepped out of the car and come up to his side. He powered down the window, and gestured at the darkening night sky.
"It's raining! Get inside, quickly!"
"I just wanted to...thank you for bringing me home."
She was leaning towards the window, and he suddenly felt as if he was seeing her for the first time.
Her hair had started escaping her tight braid, and wet tendrils now framed a pale, damp countenance. Droplets of water trickled down over her eyes, down her cheeks and onto her neck...he found himself following the path of one lucky drop that now stained the top of her dress.
A pale crescent moon had risen in the sky behind her, and he thought about how similar they were.
She was cool, calm and collected, and always brought a serenity with her.
She was also distant, in many ways. Remote...
"I...I'll see you tomorrow at the office, Sir."
Her voice and her words brought him back to reality with a crash, and he only managed a nod before she turned around and ran into the lobby.
The moment she was out of sight, he realized what he had been doing.
He had been weaving poetry about a woman who shouldn't even exist in his thoughts.
"Mohan, let's leave."
As the driver turned the car around, a flash of lightning lit the sky.
In an instant, his mind conjured up the image of Sheesh Mahal...
The courtyard lit up by lightning, even while his world plunged into darkness.
He forced himself to come back to the present, appalled to realize that he had forgotten the past for an instant.
Appalled to realize that he was lusting after a woman who was responsible for destroying his past, and tainting his present.
He clenched his fist, and punched the seat in front of him.
What the hell was happening with him?
__________
Khushi closed her eyes in prayer, asking the Almighty to give her strength to get through this day.
After spending a largely sleepless night, she had woken up with a new resolve.
She was going to be strong, and ignore the strange new sensations that were intent on overwhelming her.
And after last night, she really needed God on her side, if she was to be successful with this.
She could still remember that moment when she had stood by his car window in the rain. His eyes had caressed her, there was no other way to put it.
She had felt it like a touch, and a slow burn had banished the chill of the rain from her body.
Until she had turned away, trembling with apprehension about everything that was happening.
She had thought about it all night, wondering just why she was being punished like this.
Through the years, she had met many men in the course of her work. But none of them had ever affected her like this.
And now, it had to be him who was arousing these awareness, and eliciting this response from her...
Destiny was playing a cruel trick indeed.
She stood up slowly, and began clearing her desk in preparation for the day's work.
Her eyes snapped up and her entire body stiffened as her door burst open suddenly.
"What the hell is this, Ms.Gupta?"
His eyes were burning with anger, and she quickly looked down at his hand for the source.
"That is your travel itinerary for next week..."
"I know what it is, Ms. Gupta. What I can't understand is why the hell am I suddenly flying to the States, dammit?"
She took a deep breath, and gestured to the papers again.
"If you had read those papers, you would have your answer already. "
"Don't mess with me, Ms.Gupta."
"It's very simple, really. Your predecessor, the previous Minister , had confirmed these plans to attend the Sixth World Conference of Health Ministers in San Francisco. And that was to be followed by..."
"A week-long tour of the California Hospitals to learn about their health-care delivery system? Are you kidding me?"
She clasped her hands together, glad that her desk helped to cover her nervousness.
"That is the plan, yes."
He threw the papers on her desk, and slammed his hands down on it for good measure.
"That is such a blatant misuse of department funds, I don't even know what to say! Why didn't you do something about this?!"
"Unfortunately, I don't wield that much power, Sir. And these kind of foreign sojourns are very common, all ministers do this every so often..."
"Not this minister. I'm not going to waste all that money on a stupid trip, when those funds could very well be used elsewhere. Cancel the whole thing. Now!"
"I'm afraid that isn't possible."
"What? Why not?"
"Because India had already confirmed it's participation in the conference, and we cannot back out at this late stage. Plus, you are also scheduled to address the gathering on the second day and..."
"Dammit all to hell!"
He turned away from her, and raked his hands through his hair in apparent frustration.
"So there's nothing that can be done?"
"No, Sir. You and a member of the health committee will be flying out at the end of next week."
He walked over to her window, and stared out at the lawn for a few moments.
She stared at his back, and wondered at his reticence.
Before she could stop herself, the words burst from her lips.
"I would have thought that you would be happy to go there, even if it was just for a week. Isn't that where your flagship store is located?"
He turned back to face her, his eyes glinting with a cold, icy rage.
"Don't presume to know what I'm thinking, or feeling, Ms.Gupta."
She looked away, then faced him again when he came up to her desk.
"Incidentally, what would you do if I refused to go?"
She had no idea where he was going with this, but felt compelled to reply.
"I would...have to apologize to the Cabinet secretary for the change in plans, and also to the organizers of the conference, as well as the hospitals who have granted us access..."
"So, in short, it would be a diplomatic nightmare."
"I suppose you could put it that way."
"And you would have to handle the fallout, wouldn't you?"
"Obviously. Why would anyone question the great Minister himself?"
He smiled, a strange twist of his lips that left her feeling unsettled.
"That's what I thought."
He pulled out a chair, and sat down on it before he continued.
"I refuse to go."
"What?! You can't do that!"
"Why not? It's my prerogative."
She saw the look in his eyes, and knew just why he was doing this.
He was baiting her, and she had no other option but to play along with his weird game.
"But it would cause major problems for..."
"...you, Ms.Gupta. That can't be helped, I'm afraid."
"Why are you doing this?"
"Why do you think?"
"If this is some sort of twisted revenge, then let me tell you, you can just..."
He laughed abruptly, and she stiffened further, if that was even possible.
"Revenge? I don't think so. If it was, then why would I offer you a way out?"
"A way out? "
"Yes, Ms.Gupta. I will go on this trip, but only under one condition."
She held her breath, feeling suddenly afraid of what he was going to say.
*************
A/N: Thank you for your continued patience with the story-line. I truly appreciate your support!
Also, I will send out PMs for Chapter Three and Four together on that day.
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Comments (280)
Juhi, ive read this story fron start to finish, at first i thought the political story was not my cup of tea, but I stuck with it. The story is amazing, I cried for Anjali, smiled at Arnav flirting fealt for Khushi when she was at her lowest.only a great writer can do that. A completely original and utmost brilliant story, making a statement that love should conquer all. Having had a sister marry out of our religion, whom we have had no contact for over 24 years makes me think of her, what she must be going through. Maybe one day my family will see his too... so I can feel the truth in this story for more than its surface. THANK YOU, your time and effort go post. XXX
10 years ago
Nice concept . Like it
10 years ago
Read all in a go and simply loved it...amazing writing...
10 years ago
A wonderful tale, I seriously have no words to describe how awesome your stories are.
10 years ago
I'm loving this SS so far!.can't wait to know about their past
10 years ago
what will be her decision about going with arnava❓now moving to the next thread😊
10 years ago
wowthat's really unique and totally different conceptvery nice titles ...amazing story..👏just read three chapters..ten years before something happened in arshi life..& the suspense u have maintain through out in the starting chapters is awesome..& i must say i'm dying with curiosity.story is getting more & more interesting...
10 years ago
great start!!omg khushi caught arnav with sheetal..😲what gonna happen next..really interesting..poor khushi..😭
10 years ago
^^^Ummm speaking of Shattered M thinking whether it is a good spot to start a new petition! A petition for J, she must not deprive us of her great writing skills, she must not deprive us of reading more of her FF's/SS/TS!Yeh dil wants more of her writingFor it will make IF a little more exciting
11 years ago
[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctwqa3QCwMw[/YOUTUBE]Heard this and the first thought I had was to remember Shattered. No relevance to the words, but just the name... vandana.sagar2013-09-19 22:34:17
11 years ago