ok so am back from the vacay and here is the next part ..
and a big Thank you to Chandrima and Vaishali . I came across those beautiful lines from the Gardener because of them...I just knew that one day I will be using it in my story ..though did not know where as I saved those lines.
XXX
Chapter -4 The Storm Clouds
Over the past two weeks , life had fallen into a melancholic routine , that created an outward semblance of normalcy , hiding the deep abyss that Shaurya could see his life slide into .
He had almost turned into an automaton , sometimes using nothing but muscle memory to eat , to jog , to go to work .
He had an able set of professionals that helped him build his empire , for there was no clever and successful businessman who could not recognize and nurture talent . That careful picking up of talent stood him in good stead today else he did not have his regular focus these days ,and that could have costed him millions but for his team.
His heart bled for Mehak . Everyday he died a thousand deaths to see her walk around like a zombie , the living dead.
She responded if spoken to, but was otherwise silent . He never saw her eat , Ma said Dolly Maasi somehow made her eat , either in the name of rituals or channelizing the Bahu in her who liked to obey elders. He would wake up at night and see her lying on the couch, next to the bed, staring at the ceiling emptily.
So many times he had wanted to get up and go to her , to envelope her in a hug and tell her all will be ok .
So many times he had stopped his hands from reaching out to her , to tuck behind her errant locks , to wipe the tears that would be lying on her lashes like dew drops , to iron out the furrows in her brow .
He wanted his Mehak back. He sometimes wondered had it been easier for him if she was not around him.
His being able to see her constantly and yet not touch her , this ceasing of conversation , this silence that spread between them was killing him more than probably the distance would have.
He knew begging her would be of no consequence .She had been clear to KK . It was not about she being able to forgive him .It was about she being able to forgive herself. The Mehak he knew was always soft on others but hardest on herself.
She will never forgive herself for falling in love with her parents' killer. She might still as a wife , support him to go through his penance , go through what the law and life had in store for him . He knew the two months or so , that were left, for the court hearing were going to be the hardest .
He had been very unhappy with his lawyer that he had not been able to get a much closer hearing date , but Lawyer Verma had shared his helplessness in this matter . The courts were full , a testimony to the creaking Indian Judicial system.
This morning was no different than the other such mornings . He had finished his run and headed to his room to get his shower .
He had a morning meeting that started in another hour . He needed to be out in the next 15 minutes , if he had any chance of making to the meeting on time , inspite of the Delhi traffic.
Mehak would be in the kitchen supervising breakfast preparations. He had no intention of having breakfast . He just did not feel strong enough today to go through the torture of looking through her empty stare and pretend that this was a normal family breakfast.
He had already divested himself of his T-shirt, that was clinging to his sweaty body , by the time he reached inside the room, and was in the process of kicking off his shoes , when he noticed the dressing room door half ajar .
A pretty shimmery pink piece of cloth was visible and soon he became aware of the soft tinkling of the bangles .
Mehak was inside , yet .!! Did she, unlike herself ,get up late??
"Masi it would have been easier for me to wear the salwar kurta ..it is easier to move around the kitchen and also do the puja preparation .
"I find it difficult to keep the saree pallu on the head as you want me ...
"Oh yes Bahu rani , but special occasions demand a saree ..and look at blouses you girls get stitched these days ... nothing but these threads at the back ..ofcourse you need the pallu on the head ..
"So then let me change the saree , "
"Oh no , you are going to get further delayed "
"Masi was sounding agitated ..
He suddenly heard Nani calling out to Masi . The normally silent house was indeed an activity beehive today.
"Yes Amma, just a minute .
Shaurya , swiftly moved behind the balcony door ..he just felt too embarrassed to have Masi see him shirtless..
Masi exited the room in a hurry
"Maasi .. Mehak followed her from the dressing area inside the main room ...atleast help me with the thre...I mean the blouse...
She did look pretty ..the soft pastel shimmery pink sat well with the silver whitish blouse , giving her face a glow that and been missing for days.. The crystal bindi and matching danglers in her ears were adding to her festive look.
He stepped back into the room.
She stilled seeing him .
"I..I...I did not realize you were back...
Shaurya folded his hands in front of him and raised his one eyebrow , " I did not realize you were up for celebrations these days ...
Shaurya kicked himself the moment he said those cutting words .. but he did not know what else to say ...to avoid his complementing her ...to telling her that she looked absolutely ethereal , to pulling her in his embrace and stealing a kiss ...
Her face turned ashen ..and he kicked himself again ...just when ...he had seen that glow return a bit ..he had turned it off ...
"It is a puja ..that Maasi insisted I did ..it is called Vat Savitri ...
She turned and attempted to move out of the room ...
"Mehak ...Just a minute ...
He unfolded his hands and moved towards her , surprisingly brushing past her and going towards the door..
He closed the door and then turned towards her ...
"There is absolutely no way , my wife can go out like this . "
He used his eyes to indicate her pallu that was slipping off her shoulders and blouse threads that were going awry.
She went back to the dressing area and started fiddling with her attire again.
Shaurya decided not to deprive himself of this small pleasure and he leaned on the dressing room door , arms folded , shamelessly and thirstily drinking in the scene in front of his eyes .
His Mehak , who was always so klutzy , that he used to call her a mini earthquake , was struggling with the dainty threads and the soft slippery saree material .
He let her struggle for about 5 minutes
She turned to him irritated . almost her old self ...
"that is all you are good for ..makisng nasty comments and enjoying my distress "
His one eyebrow again shot up ...Do you need help Mrs Khanna ?
"I ..I...I ...yes...
His heart stopped for a second at that yes ...this was the closest she had come to relenting in these two weeks .
He slowly straightened himself from his reclining position and walked upto her , gently turning her back ,
Her eyes met his for a second and then they were down cast.
He slowly tied all the threads that crisscrossed her back .The touch of her warm , silky skin ignited little sparks for desire in him, but he knew better than to act on them.
It was the ultimate irony , karma getting better of him , that his own wife had become his unattainable love.
Once he was done with the threads , he used a safety pin to tuck her pallu on her shoulder and then slowly brought up on her head . There eyes met once again in the mirror .
He was amazed to see longing in her eyes when all he had expected was loathing .His fingers digged into her shoulder of their own accord.
Ahh ..her soft whimper brought him back to his senses ..he quickly moved away from her
"Now if you are done with your dressing up ..I have a business to run ...I am getting late for my meeting ...
So May I have my room for sometime to myself ...
Her face has almost turned to stone, from where it was soft just a few seconds ago , at his curt tone
..She nodded and left the room.
He showered and got dressed as soon as he could . He was definitely going to be late and rushed outside towards his car .
"Ohh Shaurya Beta ..where are you going ...??
Maasi caught him at the main door ..
"Maasi I have a meeting " ...SHaurya was getting irritated ...
His eyes scanned the sky , Storm clouds were gathering ...this was not good ...If it starts raining , the morning traffic was going to be even worse.
"I need to leave now , before it starts raining ..
He told Maasi , trying to be as firm as possible without sounding rude ...
But Maasi was having none of it ..
"No way ..there is no way you can leave today before the puja is over "
"Maasi ... Shaurya was positively close to losing his temper , when his phone rang ...
It was his Executive assistant ...
"Yes Ruchi ...
"Sir unfortunately Mr Sahay is stuck in Shimla , due to bad weather neither he , nor our clients could reach Delhi on time . Their flight has not yet taken off ...
Mr Sahay was his CFO , accompanying the client delegation to Delhi for further negotiations , once they had inspected their property in Mashobra.
Shaurya did not know whether this was good news or bad news ...
Should he be happy that he now need not worry about the meeting or should be worry that now he had to go through the entire morning of facing Mehak.
Tell Me Msasi ...what is it that you need me for ?? He finally relented to Dolly
So beta you know this is Vat Savitri puja
Mehak had by then joined them on the main door , with a huge plate filled with multiple items required for the puja rituals .
"Bahu here would be doing puja of the banyan tree..
Shaurya smirked ...
"Really Mehak ...now you expect me to join you for worshipping trees...
He directed the question to Mehak , knowing fully well it was unfair of him .
She was being as much pushed into this as was he ...but his need for establishing a dialogue with her , just listening to her voice , made him make those comments to her ...
Unfortunately it was Maasi again who replied ,...
"Oh come on Beta , you need to respect traditions.
So Shaurya Khanna respected traditions that day . More than respecting he was thankful for traditions , because they ensured he held his wife hands and walked around the Banyan tree in their garden seven times , holding a piece of long yarn of cotton thread that got wrapped around the trunk of the tree.
He was also thankful for them as it ensured , he could save Mehak from a fall as she almost slipped in the slush created by the light drizzle that had started as they were finishing the puja.
The clouds were dark enough for a hurricane , but the drizzle thankfully was very light.
He cherished those moments , because he knew , they were few and far between ,but his need of being close to her had not allowed him the strength to walk away from her forever.
He shuddered thinking of the day , he might end up in a cell for a few years ..how would he get through that phase ..but he told himself he will cross that bridge when he came to it .
For now he wanted to fill his eyes and heart with her .
Once they were done , Maasi asked them to touch feet of all elders .
Ma smiled and blessed them both for eternal happiness .
Nani seemed a little lost that day keeping silent as they both touched her feet . Maasi prodded her to bless them.
Karuna looked with positive hatred at Nani . Mehak always found it difficult to show respect to that woman , now that she knew through Ma , her true colors , but she was reluctant to open another battlefront with Shaurya .
She also thought that this was best between Ma, Nani and Shaurya ,and it was Ma's call when she would want to tell Shaurya.
Shaurya seemed to have noticed nothing .
He simply said to Nani ...
"I need your blessings..
"Of course my dear Grandson...May all your wishes come true ...
Nani blessed them in her saccharine laced voice.
"Ok Bahu , now you have some of the prashaad and then go, rest in your room.
Maasi told Mehak.
Mehak felt exhausted ...not so much from the fasting and rituals but from facing Shaurya at such close proximity for such a long time.
This morning had been so different form others , where normally they both had devised a routine that kept them away from each other, with minimum interaction.
Shaurya ,when he chose to interact with her, always seemed cold , distant ..
She knew he loved his image and ego , and maybe it was important for him that his newlywed wife was seen in his house , but his actions sometimes belied the coldness he projected or maybe it was her longing, that wished those actions to be more than what they were.
He had so tenderly put her attire together this morning and then when she had almost slipped , he had held her firmly. She had seen into his eyes then. They almost held a promise ..of never letting her go , but it was far off promise ,,,,possibly reserved for a tomorrow , that was yet to dawn .
Her today was mired in a dilemma, in heartbreak , in circumstances that sometimes still made it difficult for her to breathe.
She reached the room to find him sitting near his study table, busy on his phone.
He did not notice her .
She quietly laid down on the bed .
Her phone dinged .
That made Shaurya look up . He had a strange expression on his face for a fleeting moment . Then it was gone , as Vicky entered the room at the same time, with his laptop asking him to check a proposal.
She felt as if he had been shocked by her presence, but she shrugged off that niggle.
She checked her phone ..it was from KK...
"You know we have been talking about shapeshifters .. how sometimes truth shifts shape so that it is not what we are seeing is false , but we still are not seeing the truth ...
I just came across this beautiful text from Rabindra Nath Tagore's The Gardner ..thought of sharing it with you
"I long to speak the deepest words I have to say to you; but I dare not, for fear you should laugh. That is why I laugh at myself and shatter my secret in jest. I make light of my pain, afraid you should do so. I long to tell you the truest words I have to say to you; but I dare not, being afraid that you would not believe them. That is why I disguise them in untruth, saying the contrary of what I mean. I make my pain appear absurd, afraid that you should do so. I long to use the most precious words I have for you; but I dare not, fearing I should not be paid with like value. That is why I gave you hard names and boast of my callous strength. I hurt you, for fear you should never know any pain. I long to sit silent by you; but I dare not lest my heart come out at my lips. That is why I prattle and chatter lightly and hide my heart behind words. I rudely handle my pain, for fear you should do so. I long to go away from your side; but I dare not, for fear my cowardice should become known to you. That is why I hold my head high and carelessly come into your presence. Constant thrusts from your eyes keep my pain fresh for ever".
Think about it MS ...truth has many forms...
Take care "
Mehak sat staring at the message for ever ..How does he even know what I am going through ...who was this slice of rainbow in her otherwise dark life.
"You have an excellent choice in Literature
She replied back.
Shaurya's phone on the study table , that he had left as he had gone out with Vicky ,dinged.
Edited by tibs09 - 8 years ago
