It was a beautiful day. Rare and quiet, and maybe that’s what makes it even more beautiful.
They don’t really get peaceful time such as this up here- 18000ft above the ground, very close to a ongoing battlefield between Indian army and the neighboring one. Their days are usually filled with looking after wounded soldiers, taking care of supplies and requesting help from senior army personnel. And the nights? Those were horrible- screaming, groaning people carried in with pain, long hours of surgery, death and amputation on table, taking shelters from gunfights and rocket launchers, handling fellow staffers and patients.
Monami felt tired at times. But then she remembered she always wanted it, and feels somewhat better. Proud even - her Mother served this country and she is doing the same. All her life decisions led her up here, in this battlefield with no civiliazation in sight.
“Dr sahiba!” Her head whipped at the call, forcing herself not to wince at that nickname. After a while from the boulders emerged her old batchmate and new confidante.
“Sumanji ne kitna dhunda apko, but Dr Monami mili hi nahi. Idhar baithi hai aap.” Panting, she slumped next to her, “How do you climb so far up here? One day of quiet and you do trekking, Sumanji thinks we all should just sleep in.” On a cue, a yawn escaped her.
“Today has been so quiet, thought to enjoy these hills.” Sumanji huffed at that, “Isn’t it strange, that tourists come for sightseeing, and we are here for months now and could not enjoy them.” Monami’s eyes lit up, “These are the uncharted territory, nobody can come here. But accessible for us, free for us to see. Beautiful place.”
“Hah, beautiful! Sumanji likes ocean. My husband and I went to Pondicherry for honeymoon, you know?” The Dr. Knew that, she listened to this a hundred times, “These manhoos pahadein! Sumanji don’t like hills. The oxygen shortage, the cold…and the stupid tanks and siren of rocket launchers. Uff!”
Then there was a silence, and the women looked at each other with a flash of fear. Monami chanted to herself, Today was supposed to be quiet, as her heart chest hammered.
She woke up in cold sweat, all alone in her empty bed.
Sumanji don’t call her Dr. Sahiba anymore.
Sanjana ran a finger over the envelope addressed to her, then turned to see her reflection in mirror. This uniform has been her life for years, only changes are the additional badges she achieves every year. She always felt she was born to do this, always looked at mirror and saw herself standing tall and proud. Confident.
Today, she was anything but that. There was a time Parakram was her home, more so than the native place where she was born. The people there were family, she felt safe and comfortable there. But things happened, and her one home was replaced by another. Parakram now brings a lot of bittersweet memory for her, and a part of her almost wish to go back in time.
It’s selfish to think when she was the one who came out of it all with minimal damage.
She jumped at the sudden entrance in the room, her panicked eyes flashing in mirror. Sid entered, took his clothes and disappeared to change, not even looking or acknowledging her presence. He has been distant in last few days, since she received this envelope. He did not fight, he did not try to change her mind- he always thrived in that. Probably the look in her eyes told him her decision. She will always go back to that place, no questions asked.
Col Batra is going to retire in next few months, and before that he had a mission to complete. Sanjana did not know who else the senior had asked for, and part of her hoped to see the old people back. But she would not hold her breath for that- things did not end swiftly all those years ago. Time won’t be enough to heal those wounds.
Sid came out, and she tried to clear her head. She was almost ready, just the watch . . .
His fingers curled around her wrist and fixed it for her. Sanjana’s surprised eyes looked at him who was stubbornly looking at her hand. Just as quickly he came closer, he moved away, ran a hand through those unruly hair and picked up car keys.
“Main chali jaoongi.”
“I will drop you.” He said before she finished, and she had enough of this limbo. She almost wished he would look at her or even say his mind, however cruel that is. This disappointment is hard to stand- one of Sid’s annoying quality was how he would always look at her as if she hung the moon.
“You don’t need to.”
“I am doing it for myself.” Sid replied, then met her eyes for a moment, “Grab your things.”
“I know it’s hard for you . . . “
“I don’t think you do.” He shook head, “But this is not your burden to bear. I will handle it myself.”
“If you did not want this . . . “
“If?” He laughed, the sound horribly bitter “You know I won’t like this. Not that you told me anything anyway.”
Sanjana took a step back, trying to defend herself, “It’s a surprise for me too. And it’s my job.”
“I know, stupid civilian namoona and all.” She flinched at the old taunt, “It doesn’t matter.” Her hand tried to reach him but he won’t let it linger other than a quick squeeze of fingers, “Anyways, your work, your life, your choice. Not my place to say anything.”
With that, he walked out of their room.
Anupamaa
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