“I feel like I have lost myself. I want to find the “Me” that went away with you. The part of me that loved so unceasingly without condition. The part of me that loved the way you taught me how to love. The part of me that felt more real than I ever felt before. No one seems to find that “Me” and I can’t find Me either.”
― Kate McGahan, Only Gone From Your Sight: Jack McAfghan's Little Guide to Pet Loss and Grief
The real Abir Rajvansh was lost somewhere. After being shown the mirror the fog in his brain is finally beginning to clear up. He remembers all the times Mishti tried to talk to him after that fateful night and he laments the fact how he didn’t give her a chance to explain. He was so blinded by rage after hearing a half-said conversation that he thought Mishti did all that just for the sake of it. He failed to read someone he used to read even without her speaking. Abir 1.0 understood Mishti predicament with her father even without her telling him. At one point they actually discuss this both are surprised by the fact that how well he knows her.
“Abir mujhat toh pata nahi tha tum meray baaray main itna sab jaantay ho”
“Hah mujhe bhi nahi pata tha”
But now things are not the same anymore. Weary and tired from finally realizing the folly of his actions Abir sits down on the bench. Then his inner conscience in the form of Mishti further makes him realize his mistake. The people you witness here aren’t MishBir 2.0 they are actually MishBir 1.0 because they are finally having a meaningful conversation.
His thoughts are convoluted when he hears his voice of reason.
“Abir..
He removes his shades. Today he doesn’t feel like hiding his eyes from here. Today he wants her to see the real him.
“Mishti main woh…” words fail Abir here how does he talk to her after what he has done.
“Kia main car main baitnay say pehaly window seat kay liay jagha karti hu apana WIFI password share karnay say man karti hu chocolate ka ahkari piece khudi kha layti hu. Nahi toh phir tum nay mujay selfish kaisay keh diya Abir tum toh meray dil ki baat kahay begair hi samaj laytay thay na toh phir tum nay yay kaisay samaj liya kay main tumhay aur tumhari family ko hurt karnay kay liay Kunal ko itni badhi baat keh sakti hu. Kia do mahniay main itni badal gayi hu Abir kia tum bhi badal gaye ho” She asks him that has she ever been selfish before then how did he think that she was being selfish now. Before all this mess he used to understand her without her saying a word he used to trust her beyond measure. In all this time have they both changed so much that they don’t even know each other anymore. MishBir 1.0 had this beautiful bond of trust that was somewhat severed when they broke up. But the way his conscious has conjured up an image of Mishti asking him these questions shows that deep down underneath all his 2.0 façade is the real Abir 1.0 who is finally coming to the surface. Why would Mishti tell Kunal the truth just for the heck of it why didn’t he think like this before.
One of my favorite characters from DC comics Batman once said:
“You wear a mask for so long that you forget who you are underneath it” Abir has been living under the guise of “Everything is awesome” for so long that he lost his ability to critically analyze situations. Today his conscience is mocking him and nods his head in defeat and listens. He knows he made a mistake. Rhea’s voice is almost choking as she speaks and Shaheer just emotes how defeated Abir is how dejected he feels. Some brilliant acting by both of them.
“Nahi, Mishti mujhse galti hui mujhse aik nahi doh nahi bohot saari galtiyan hui” Abir admits that he is at fault. He made a mistake again and again.
“Nahi ,Abir tumsay bas aik galti hui kay tumnay aankh band kar kay apnay bhai par bharosa kia. Har chotay bhai ko protect karna aik bade bhai ki duty hoti hain aur har chotay bhai ki duty hoti hain kay who sara sach apnay bade bhai ko bataya Kunal nay tumhay sach batana zaroori nahi samjha aur na tumnay saach janay ki koshish ki Abir, Galti ki Kunal nay aur saza mili mujay” Mishti, however sets him straight Abir’s only fault was that when it comes to Kunal he has a blind spot for him. He always made excuses for Kunal’s actions. Abir never saw the real Kunal he always deemed him to be immature. While Abir Rajvansh did his job all too well being Kunal’s big brother , Kunal as a little bro failed as he withheld the truth from Abir. In his quest to protect his brother he hurt someone else who was very dear to him. Mishti had to bear the brunt of Kunal;s mistakes and now as the truth dawns on Abir he is filled with nothing but regret. Just like that Mishti vanishes leaving behind a broken Abir who doesn’t realize who he is anymore. Does he even have a family?
On the other end Kunal finally finds out that BB knew all along that Nishant was an addict yet she still send him to spike Nish’s drink. BB tries to explain by giving the same old reason of protecting her “pariavar ki ekta” which is butt load of BS tbh. Kunal has had enough.
“Bas… main abb aap ki baat nahi sun sakta “ he tells BB to shut up. BB threatens him that will he now go off running to complain to Abir the fact of the matter is that he is weak just like his mother and for the first time Kunal looks at woman who raised him and doesn’t recognize her at all.
“Lies and secrets, Tessa, they are like a cancer in the soul. They eat away what is good and leave only destruction behind.”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince
Immersed in the shadows Abir waits for his little bro to show up. Gone is the protective big bro demeanor Abir is now a man on a mission to find out the truth. He is eerily calm as he sits on the sofa one leg on top of the other resting his back but when Kunal shows he moves forward and sits up. I don’t think any words can do justice to Abir’s gestures in this scene. The way he looks at Kunal that penetrating gaze trying to decipher the truth. Kunal asks him where he was.
“Toh tujhay batana chaiyay tha” Abir asks in an understated menacing tone
“Nahi I mean main itna worried tha aap kay liay” Kunal tells him he was worried
“Abb aha gaya hain baith” Abir gestures him to sit down.
“Bhai, is everything okay?” Abir’s tone and mannerisms put Kunal on high alert something is wrong.
“Pata nahi Nanko kuch sawal hain jinho nay mujhay ghera hua hain shahid tu meri kuch madad kar payay. So, tell me tum mujh say kitna pyaar karta hain” Abir explains how is embroiled in a web of questions but he hopes Kunal can help him unravel it. So, he asks him a simple question how much does Nanko love him?
“Yay woh sawaal hain jis nay aap ko ghera hua tha” Kunal scoffs in return
“Jawab day” Abir now asks a bit more seriously he needs an answer
“Bohot zyada khudsay zyada sab say zyada” Kunal is confused now what’s wrong with his bhai but he answers that he loves Abir beyond measure
“Aur agar main tujh say kuch kaho toh” Abir asks that would K be willing to do something for him.
“Toh main karun ga in fact aap ko puchnay ki bhi zarorat nahi hain” K replies in resolute tone that he will do it no questions asked
“Waisay hi jaisay tunay meray kehnay par Kuhu say shaadi ki thi” Abir is baiting Kunal here he reminds Kunal how in the past he did something wrong because Abir asked him too
“Who bohot galat tha” Kunal confesses that what he did was very wrong
“Lakin phir bhi tunay kiya meray liay aur aghay chal kar phir say aisa koi mauqa ahay ga toh tu phir say aisa karega” Abir baits him further and reminds Kunal that he still did it and if he gets another chance he might do something drastic again.
“Nahi main nahi karun ga” Kunal says he won’t do anything wrong
“Sure” Abir again gives him an out and ask Kunal if he is exactly sure
“I know very clearly who bohot galat tha aur abb main phir say aisa koi galat kaam nahi karun ga” Kunal states firmly that he knows what he did as wrong and he I not going to repeat his mistake
“Matlab tunay uss din kay baad say koi galat kaam nahi kiya” Abir tries to coax him further by asking if after that mistake did he do another one
“Bhai who…” Words fail Kunal he doesn’t know what to say
“Hah ya Nah.. Hah ya Nah… HAH YA NAH NANKO” Abir’s patience is wearing thin now he asks him twice but then he legit shouts and asks Kunal that did he do anything wrong.
“Nahi mainay aisay koi bewaqoofi nahi ki” Kunal lies again and says he hasn’t done anything foolish. Something breaks in Abir as Kunal is still lying to him he tries to probe him further this time he doesn’t skirt around the bush he asks head on that what happened that night.
“Jab party wali raat ko main tujh say Mahs house kay bhair mila ta tab tu bohot pareshaan lag raha tha” Kunal was tensed when Abir met him what had gotten him so worked up
“Kyun pareshaan that tu”
“Main pareshaan tha” Kunal replies that he was worried but doesn’t state the reason. Abir asks that was he aware that Kunal;s wife stayed over at her parent’s place as her brother was seriously ill.
…..
“Uss ki bhai ki tabiyat bohot kharab thi tujhay yay bbat bhi pata nahi thi.Meri taraf dekh Nanko”
“Nahi” Kunal sas he was unaware.
“Nahi! The emphasis on Nahi is heartbreaking here as Abir finally loses it. He gave Kunal so many chances to come clean yet he is still lying to his face. A dam breaks as tonight a big brother has failed. He marches up to Parul Maasi and tells her that Kunal is not related to either her or him he is only Meenakshi Rajvansh’s son through and through. Ages ago Mishti had said the same thing to Kunal its nice to see that how in sync MishBir’s thoughts our.
“ Maasi yay aap ka kuch nahi hain koi nahi hain yay aap ka yay mera bhi koi nahi hain yay sirf Meenakshi RV ka beta hain”
“Bhai…” Kunal tries to pacify him but its all in vain. Abir is now a ferocious injured tiger he won’t listen anymore.
“Jo insaan apni biwi kay bhaai ki drink main sharaap mila day yay bhi na sochay uss kay consequences kia hogay who insaan mera bhai nahi ho sakta” Abir goes on to say that a person who spkies his own brother in law’s drink cannot be his brother
“Abir kia bol raha tu” The elders are witnessing the scene and this is the first time Nanu speaks up. How could Kunal do something like this
“Nanko tu Mishti say nafrat karta hain yay baat meri samaj main ahati hain oar tunay kisi aur ki jaan khatary main daali Nanko. Dunya main konsa aisa strong reason ho sakta hain ji ki wajah say tu kisi ki jaan laina chaiyay” Abir again confronts Kunal. He tells him that he gets his hatred for Mishti but what compelled him to out someone’s life at risk
“.. Kunal jo kuch bhi karta hain tumharay liay…” BB tries to intervene by saying that Kunal does everything for Abir but Abir has had enough. He tells BB how Kunal is merely her paen who only does her bidding blindly. Abir says how a erson who learns from another person’s mistake is intelligent the one who learns from his/her own mistake is a human being but the one who keeps on committing the same mistake again and again is dumb and today he feels he is the biggest dummy ever. Its because he trusts his love ones blindly just like he trusted his Baba who betrayed his trust now Kunal has done the same.
“Woh meray liay kuch nahi karta who jo karta hain aap kay liay karta hain who aap par aankh band kar kay bharosa karta hain. Jo doosro ki galti say seekhay who samejdaar jo galti kar kay seekhay who insaan aur jo baar baar aik hi galti karay who bewaqoof hota hain aur iss ghar main sab say bada bewaqoof main hi hu. Pehalu mainay abab par bharosa kiya unho nay mera bharosa toda mujhay use kiya aur ab wohi tu kar raha hain Kunal.”
“Nahi bhai main un kay jaisa nahin hu” Kunal tells Abir that he is not like their father
“Hah tu un kay jaisa nahi hain tu apni Maa kay jaisa hain uss Maa jaisa jis nay tujhay pala. Tunay mera bharosa todha hain Kunal aaj teri wajah say MERAY PAAS KUCH BHI NAHI HAIN” Abir tells him he is like the one who raised him he is like BB. What hurts his that due to Kunal he now has nothing that makes him happy. This was the most heartbreaking line ever. Months ago Abir left everything for Kunal he left the love of his life for what a brother who was not even worthy. Today Abir feekl cheated.
“I am really sorry bhair par aap yay Kunal Kunal kyun kar rahay hain” Kunal tries to apoligise but this time the wound is too deep , he asks why Abir is not addressing him by his nickname.
“Kyun kay tun Kunal hi hain tu mera Nanko nahi ho sakta Maasi jaanti hain iss nay aik crime kiya hain yay qanoonon jurm hain aur iss say bhi bada jurm yay kia kay iss nay yay baat chupai chup raha humay kuch nahi ka. Ak ex addict ki drink spike ki tumany aur issay koi pashtwa bhi nahi hain. Tujhay idea bhi hain Kunal yay uss kay liay kitna dangerous ho saktha tha” A resigned Abir tells him that he is not his little bro what he did was actually a crime and the bigger crime was that he didn’t tell them the truth or apologized to Nishant.
“Kunal tumnay kyun” Nanu is at a loss of words as he asks Kun al why he did it
“Kyun mat poochay Nanu kab tak poochiay issay yay kab tak yay baat humsay chupana wala tha kyun kay na hi Kunal nay humsay kuch kaha aur nah hi yay socha kay issay Nishant say ja kar maaf maangni chaiyay. Aik aisa insaan jo family kay naam par crime karay, apni galti chupay aur baat manay say inkaar bhi kar day who mera bhai nahi ho sakta abb tu kon hain tu khudi soch” Abir tells Nanu not to ask K why but to ask him how long for how long was K going to keep the truth. A person who commits a crime under the name of love for family, the one who covers up his mistake and doesn’t confess it cannot be his brother. He doesn’t recognize the person in front of him anymore. Now its up for K to decide who he really is. Abir has had enough today he failed because his bro did something that was unfathomable and despicable .The sad version of YRHPK plays in its wake our two men who are at a crossroads both have done something they regret and it remains to be seen if both will recover. Abir walks off as Kunal looks on. He is guilty as he bents his head and walks off in the opposite direction.
On the other side Abir walks alone. With a defeated gait he remembers all that he did for Kunal how he tore up his wedding card how he snatched away the pendant from Mishti’s neck and how he refused to listen to her side of the story. He then remembers how he saw her on the bus for the first time and that memory makes him sit down. He is so tired his entire world is crumbing around him. He further remembers how on that awful day Bade Papa forcefully took away Mishti from his place and he buries his head in his hand, He hates himself for what he has done for all the pain he has put her through and it was all for nothing. Today he is neither a lover or a brother. Today Abir is alone he is just Abir. His eyes fall on scarps of burnt paper and he pick up the one piece that is still salvageable.
“Tumhari Mishti…aadhi raat main Mishti mujhay yay batanay ahayi thi who meri hain” Shah’s voice modulation here is top notch. The way Abir enunciates every word as if to make himself believe that she really did come in the middle of the night all the way just for him. He remembers how she asked him if he read her letter but the letter, he read was written by someone else. After a pause Abir realizes that the only person capable of doing such a vile thing is his mother. It means there is still hope perhaps. All of nature’s elements are MishBir shipper especially fire how ironic is it that the only part that is unburnt is the way she signed of the letter. Two words that give him immense hope. Two words that will propel Abir to fight. His bro might have betrayed him, his mother had changed the letter and had burnt it but the one thing that can never change is that Abir Rajvansh is still deeply and irrevocably in love with Mishti Aggarwal and now he will fight for her and that will be interesting to see I am sure.
Stray thoughts
• BM and Mishti scene was nice too.”Yay chidya toh pehlay hi apnay ghonsaly sa gir gaye thi” was so deep because Mishti’s parent did toss her to the side like trash. Loved how BM referred to both Akshara and Naira and told Mish how they also faced a lot of hurdles in life but were able to over come them. She is scared that Mish is not ready to face her problems but Mish reassures her that she can face her problems head on
• How good were Rhea,Shaheer and Ritvik in the whol episode
• BTS and precap look so interesting
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