What is khuddari? - Page 2

I am also not married But I understand Khuddari is not seeking acceptance or validation from a woman who time n again have insulted your Mother parents n your own self Khuddari is understanding n staying away from a person who don't even respect her own bio grandchild n his late mother How will she respect her grand d-i-l Some boundaries are necessary Someone like KP do not deserve anyone's energy because then she'll try to Control them too much

Leave Prenup KP don't even allow other Poddar's their basic rights Of Right to Choose (e.g. their Careers) Right to Freedom Everyone has to be under her Control specially her d-i-l's n grand d-i-l's What use is raising voice when that person didn't change her treatment for her own grandchild what will happen by taking stand except wasting energy

All this Abhira knew before her falling in Love She should have already known what all she had to face n is it worth it Maybe she should have already peacefully married Armaan w/o KP n left back then itself If Other Poddar's want to come they would have Otherwise they wouldn't have Doesn't matter Didn't SRK Kajol's character leave because AB's character didn't accept Kajol's character as their d-i-l in K3G Didn't they live happily There toh Kajol's character didn't even experience much of her f-i-l anger n hate here Abhira has first hand experience with KP why didn't she leave

Staying at a place where she n her family has been constantly disrespected seeking acceptance from a egoistic matriarch who don't even consider her bf as a family I don't think that is Khuddari

Beautiful post! Nothing against this show in particular as almost every show shows the entire set of in laws against bahu or too powerless to stop injustice if they are secretly in favor.

In this show, apart from the constant belittling of Abhira and her heritage, we had the sindoor wiping, mangalsutra breaking incident which is cruelty for cruelty sake and efforts to get Abhira's license cancelled, which is extremely mean spirited and criminal. I don't know why Abhira's efforts to win these people over / respect their wishes should be hailed and her strong words (without any attempt to actually break free) be called khuddari. If she was my friend I would kidnap her to keep her away from that family.

Apart from financial dependency, I am appalled at the level of emotional dependency. Why don't FLs have have more rounded lives - family, career, friends, colleagues, everything should have its place?

Khuddari is basically refuse to get ill treated by anybody , not seeking validation from those who ill treat you.

If abhira was self respecting , she would refuse to live in the out house , rent out a place (she can right if she can take loan , afterall she's a lawyer ) , she could tell arman blatantly that she won't live in that house and if they were to live together , he'll have find suitable arrangement wherein there is no interference from his family's side. Pl dont tell me this is itv & girl has to stay close ..accept it ,itv mei the girl cannot have self respect . Either have in laws or have self respect .

If abhira was self respecting she wouldn't have second thoughts on temple wedding , she could still go ahead with it after arman was insulted so much , called ganda khoon n stuff , and refuse to have a grand wedding ..

Now that abhira wants this same family and man where she faced tons of humiliations , she can be a little tactful & think about how to go ahead with this coz she will have a difference of opinion on basically , everything, coz the family is too conservative , weird ,biased & unlawful for her liking, she has experienced it.

Toh telling stuff like "ill be your best bahu" negates her core personality . Bahu toh dadisa ki hi banegi ke nai? That's why all these issues r cropping up...

her man is set..let him handle the difficult issues and i think shes capable of looking after minor ones ..but there also she disappoints.... dadisa ko khush karna hai plus zid bhi nahi chodni , both won't go together...top of it she's supposed to be a lawyer. If she can't handle issues at home, how will she do it at work ? She's been in deer in a headlight kind of predicament since forever

Originally posted by: Rishma1

I am also not married But I understand Khuddari is not seeking acceptance or validation from a woman who time n again have insulted your Mother parents n your own self Khuddari is understanding n staying away from a person who don't even respect her own bio grandchild n his late mother How will she respect her grand d-i-l Some boundaries are necessary Someone like KP do not deserve anyone's energy because then she'll try to Control them too much

Leave Prenup KP don't even allow other Poddar's their basic rights Of Right to Choose (e.g. their Careers) Right to Freedom Everyone has to be under her Control specially her d-i-l's n grand d-i-l's What use is raising voice when that person didn't change her treatment for her own grandchild what will happen by taking stand except wasting energy

All this Abhira knew before her falling in Love She should have already known what all she had to face n is it worth it Maybe she should have already peacefully married Armaan w/o KP n left back then itself If Other Poddar's want to come they would have Otherwise they wouldn't have Doesn't matter Didn't SRK Kajol's character leave because AB's character didn't accept Kajol's character as their d-i-l in K3G Didn't they live happily There toh Kajol's character didn't even experience much of her f-i-l anger n hate here Abhira has first hand experience with KP why didn't she leave

Staying at a place where she n her family has been constantly disrespected seeking acceptance from a egoistic matriarch who don't even consider her bf as a family I don't think that is Khuddari

Originally posted by: fantasyshowfan

Beautiful post! Nothing against this show in particular as almost every show shows the entire set of in laws against bahu or too powerless to stop injustice if they are secretly in favor.

In this show, apart from the constant belittling of Abhira and her heritage, we had the sindoor wiping, mangalsutra breaking incident which is cruelty for cruelty sake and efforts to get Abhira's license cancelled, which is extremely mean spirited and criminal. I don't know why Abhira's efforts to win these people over / respect their wishes should be hailed and her strong words (without any attempt to actually break free) be called khuddari. If she was my friend I would kidnap her to keep her away from that family.

Apart from financial dependency, I am appalled at the level of emotional dependency. Why don't FLs have have more rounded lives - family, career, friends, colleagues, everything should have its place?

Yessss💯 that's the word..emotional dependency.

Originally posted by: Krinya

Khuddari is basically refuse to get ill treated by anybody , not seeking validation from those who ill treat you.

If abhira was self respecting , she would refuse to live in the out house , rent out a place (she can right if she can take loan , afterall she's a lawyer ) , she could tell arman blatantly that she won't live in that house and if they were to live together , he'll have find suitable arrangement wherein there is no interference from his family's side. Pl dont tell me this is itv & girl has to stay close ..accept it ,itv mei the girl cannot have self respect . Either have in laws or have self respect .

If abhira was self respecting she wouldn't have second thoughts on temple wedding , she could still go ahead with it after arman was insulted so much , called ganda khoon n stuff , and refuse to have a grand wedding ..

Now that abhira wants this same family and man where she faced tons of humiliations , she can be a little tactful & think about how to go ahead with this coz she will have a difference of opinion on basically , everything, coz the family is too conservative , weird ,biased & unlawful for her liking, she has experienced it.

Toh telling stuff like "ill be your best bahu" negates her core personality . Bahu toh dadisa ki hi banegi ke nai? That's why all these issues r cropping up...

her man is set..let him handle the difficult issues and i think shes capable of looking after minor ones ..but there also she disappoints.... dadisa ko khush karna hai plus zid bhi nahi chodni , both won't go together...

Originally posted by: Aashiqanafan

You should never take any ill-treatment from anyone including inlaws.

In the very initial days it makes sense to observe and be open minded but if the mistreatment is obvious then voice it out to husband first. If the man is good then your work gets easier. If not then you have to stand up for yourself. If a girl is working that gives them a very big strength so that you do not feel that you are at the mercy of husband/in laws. And if you are not working then you should let ur parents/siblings know and tell them how you want to approach them if things are going out of hand.

I seriously cannot relate to the illtreatment that this Hindi serials give to the FLs. No swabhimani woman should ever stay in any of these sasurals. But again how I think depends upon how was I brought up and what I saw growing up. In many parts of India, girls learn from he childhood that in laws are Gods and you have to listen to whatever they say and that is what they blindly follow. But that never should be the case. And that's why education and self dependency is a must for any girl so you know not to stay in an oppressed household.

Originally posted by: Aashiqanafan

I seriously cannot relate to the illtreatment that this Hindi serials give to the FLs. No swabhimani woman should ever stay in any of these sasurals. But again how I think depends upon how was I brought up and what I saw growing up. In many parts of India, girls learn from he childhood that in laws are Gods and you have to listen to whatever they say and that is what they blindly follow. But that never should be the case. And that's why education and self dependency is a must for any girl so you know not to stay in an oppressed household.

I dunno what day , age and parts of India we are talking about ..coz modern India is changing fast..this issue of dependency on in laws and the husband stems mainly from socio economic condition of the girls ..it's changing fast as the girls are getting educated & financially independent ..even in remote areas when I visit , I see women of the household taking care of the small businesses and shops which is revolutionary in itself ..

Oppression however still remains an issue ..but with changing scenario , the parents Never insist on taking any crap in sasural..if the couple is not compatible, separation is an easy way out....problem arises when there isn't any issue with the husband but with the in laws & husband is not ready to move out , or it's not an option for many ..

I'm sorry but even the concept of families shown on itv is outdated . In the cities which they base their stories on , udaipur and all, they are not villages , they r modern cities .

Originally posted by: Debospeaks

Today a lot of discussion is going on regarding #khuddari in the EDT. There I just don't want to argue with anyone anymore, so asking you all a genuine question, if somebody raises her voice in her inlaws house over any sort of ill- treatment with her, irrespective of the fact that whether she is working or a homemaker. Is it not unfair to say she can't do the same because the ones on whom she is raising her voice is feeding her food and giving her a shelter to stay?

Bandi kare toh kare kya? Doormat bane ya bagawat kare? Ab agar bagawat kare toh zaruri toh nahi ki pati ko chor de, woh us ghar me apne pati ke saath rehte hue bhi galat ko galat keh sakti hai ya nahi?

I genuinely want to know as I'm not married yet.

What a girl want to do should be her decision , she want t be a home maker or a working woman should be decision and not the decision of husband and in laws. But the problem is in India everything comes of a girl after marriage, it is the expected duty of the DIL to take care of family and husband and work too.

Originally posted by: Sneha.Narayanan

How come dadisa and the great lawyer poddar family doesn't know that prenup in india stands void and invalid in court