What is....'a SANSKAARI BAHU ? ' - Page 2

Sanskari Bahu Dino Daddo ke palloo ka maan rakhti hai kyon ke Daddo ko ladkiyon ke lambe baalon se alergy hai

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i guess that rules me out!

Originally posted by: aksharanaitik

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i guess that rules me out!

y shanta ?....which of the conditions do u not fulfill?..... 🤣 ....the eloping part ????? 🤣 🤣

Originally posted by: rsk2fan-renu-

seriously, nishi....i have always maintained that.......in-laws kitne bhi mental or unsupportive ho...the undying support of the hubby can tide u thru.......but if the husband is only a gone case...like in akshi's case.....what does a bahu do ??????????

Renu, u bring up a very interesting topic...I think the present track on the show has highlighted a few key issues when it comes to sanskaars & the double standards regarding them even within a family...

On the one hand, we have robotic, "sanskaari" Akshara who is trying to follow the mentals' dictates to a T, but stumbles from time to time (going to her mayka, supporting a romance, albeit her own s-i-l's, putting too much mirchi in the food); on the other hand, u have her husband, who was brought up by a supposedly "sanskaari" bahu, Gma...this is a man, not a boy now, who is impetuous, impulsive, has to have everything his way...he values traditions-'parampara' when it is ok by him; he respects others when it is convenient for him...who, in the recent weeks, has berated his own wife not only in front of his own immediate family, but extended family as well. For being from such a "sanskaari" family, is munna a shining example of how sanskaars are passed on from one generation to the next? Is this something to be proud of? Is this a pat on the back for the so- called "sanskaari" bahu who raised this man?


I think the Maheshwaris have a much better handle on sanskaars & practicing the same...does the fact that Varsha does not wear a pallu, make her less sanskaari? Does Shaurya's suggesting he take Varsha out for a movie make him less sanskaari? Of course not. It just goes to show that while sanskaars are an essential part of our culture, having certain freedoms like going to u r mayka, or not wearing a pallu, or being educated, does not change one's values, one's upbringing...

In fact, as YR has shown us, families like the mental Singhanias will always have to contend with rebellion from generation to generation because their expectations r too unrealistic & there is no latitude for living within the modern times. Case in point here is Nandini. As Nishi mentioned, she was completely aware of her family's views on illicit romance & relationships yet she did not stop herself or warn Akshara about the consequences of her moving forward with Mohit. In my view, this is a form of rebellion on Nandini's part. Had she had the freedom to talk openly to anyone in her family with who she was supposedly so close to (Gma being the closest confidant to her), she could have told them about her feelings. Instead, she clung to the newcomer in the family, who was as helpless as she was in this situation.

There has to be a happy medium between traditions, values & morals within the context of society at large. This is absolutely true for the bahu who will one day have her children & bring up those children to carry on the family name & impart "sanskaars" to them. In my opinion, Gma has failed in this regard, both when it comes to herself & her son...I would be embarrassed if my son behaved the way Naitik did with his own wife, FOR ANY REASON. Her supporting Naitik & turning her back on Akshara just goes to show that even as an elder, the very essence of being "sanskaari"- of having values, of being honest, of being respectful-is only in words, not in deed...practicing what u preach is dead here!

Originally posted by: FAMS

Seriously guys I want an answer to this question of |Renu, what should a girl do if the husband is unsupportive & mad?

FAMS, u raise a very important point, & I think u will get varying answers here. I can only give you my opinion. First, the girl should try to talk about her concerns with her spouse; there are times when the husband is unaware of his behavior because no one has ever called him on it. Even after this discussion, if there is a pattern of unsupportive, abusive behavior (& this can be emotional & mental abuse), it is best for the girl to leave. Distance herself from the situation and assess the situation; talk it over with family & close confidantes...get support. Try to seek counseling together if thats a possibility (I know in most parts of India &in the East this is frowned upon, but I know plenty of couples for whom therapy has worked wonders & saved their marriage.) Ultimately, I personally don't think anyone (male or female) should live with someone, even if its their own spouse, if waking up everyday makes them feel burdened & frightened. Frankly, life is too damn short for that...just my 2 cents, yaar...

I wasn't a big fan of the character Naitik but after Friday's episode I seriously lost the little bit of sympathy I had for the guy. He not only insults Akshara but went on bad mouthing her entire maayka. I would say Akshara shouldn't have married Naitik in the first place, he is really not worthy of her.

The show is giving us an entirely new definition of the word "sanskaar"

Originally posted by: Nandalala

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FAMS, u raise a very important point, & I think u will get varying answers here. I can only give you my opinion. First, the girl should try to talk about her concerns with her spouse; there are times when the husband is unaware of his behavior because no one has ever called him on it. Even after this discussion, if there is a pattern of unsupportive, abusive behavior (& this can be emotional & mental abuse), it is best for the girl to leave. Distance herself from the situation and assess the situation; talk it over with family & close confidantes...get support. Try to seek counseling together if thats a possibility (I know in most parts of India &in the East this is frowned upon, but I know plenty of couples for whom therapy has worked wonders & saved their marriage.) Ultimately, I personally don't think anyone (male or female) should live with someone, even if its their own spouse, if waking up everyday makes them feel burdened & frightened. Frankly, life is too damn short for that...just my 2 cents, yaar...

Originally posted by: FAMS

Seriously guys I want an answer to this question of |Renu, what should a girl do if the husband is unsupportive & mad?

i dun think therez any point in staying with such a person but sorry to say, Akshara didn't leave the house bec. of her self respect or she thought she was being abused (what I expected) but bec. Naitik wanted and also said tht she'll be back when he calls her back..

nyways "sanskars" themselves r dfifferent for different ppl. so how can one say so n so person is sanskari or not...for few, taking pallu is good sanskar, for few, not taking pallu doesn't make a difference to any sanskaars....it's a very individualistic point of view...for me, wearing westerns is fine but for majority of population in India, it's too "advanced" and "westernized" ......those who live in US might believe in frivilous relationships, live in relationships and Indians r copying tht..very soon it might become a way of our life......but that doesn't mean those who don't follow it are "backward"

therez nothing wrong in sanskaars of naitik or akshara...they r so young and they are shouldering tons of responsibilities...every person learns by making mistakes...mistakes make you, you don't make mistakes...the only thing is you must have the pinch of tht mistakes in you bec. tht will stop u frm repeating the mistake again...akshara and naitik's approach of handling any problem is 🤢 bec. both r sentimental fools...and therez nothing wrong in that...we also made a lot of mistakes and learnt..we weren't perfect either when we got married...one must know how to change things around you if they're not according to ur wish...

Originally posted by: FAMS

Thanks Anjali, a very nice take on this question, but I would like to have answer from opthers also lets see what different opinions others have about it. . .

Welcome yaar...Fouzia, if u want to get a variety of opinions, probably best to make it a discussion topic...it is a very valid one in context of what happened on Friday on the show...😊