Posted:
Hello everyone,
I know the forum has been in quite a bit of turmoil since the last couple of episodes and rightfully so. I've been reading through a lot of posts analyzing and dissecting the scenario and I thought I should jump into the discussion with my own two cents.
Let me tell you, right from the outset, that I do not intend to bash any of the characters. In fact, I personally think both the characters are right in their own respect. And since most of the posts I saw were pro-Aru, I wanted to give my perspective on why I feel Mukhi is also right in his own respect.
To me, honestly, the most heartbreaking but beautiful part of this track is the fact that both of them are right and wrong. Just the other day, I was watching the launch press conference video of the show and the maker of the show, Saba, was asked to comment on the characters and her response included, "..they are both a bit of fools too." And I agree, they are fools in love.
Looking at it from Mukhi's perspective:
He never did really want to get married. He did all this just for his Dhingli. And then comes the replacement bride fiasco - Aru is now his wife. But no, neither of them accept or acknowledge this relationship and keep reminding each other about it. Khair, destiny played its tricks, and no matter how hard she tried to leave, Aru ended up having to stay back. And there was a shift in their relationship dynamics. Nothing earth shattering, but a gradual progression that they were both comfortable with.
What needs to be pointed out here though is that in all his interactions with Aru, right from the start, she has always impressed upon him what achieving her dreams mean to her, that her dreams were the sole purpose of her life. Be it when he jokingly asked her (when they go to get Chammo, I think) whether she'd work with him in the Panchayat, or when he took her to that tree where she could get network to talk to her parents, or the night of Mishri's wedding when she thanks him for not tying her in this marriage and letting her free to pursue her dreams, she always lets him know that she wants to leave. That her dreams are too big to be fulfilled, living in Amboli, being with him. In fact, even in yesterday's episode, she says, "I'm here for just 5 more days. Dum ghuttha hai mera yahan (I feel suffocated here)."
I agree, she has done more than her fair share for him - be it ensuring Mishri gets to leave in peace, taking care of him, exposing the wrongdoings happening in his village. But all of that has always been punctuated with her reminder that she would be gone soon. When he thanks her for all she did for Mishri at the wedding, her response is, "You can thank me when I leave. Its Mishri's bidaai today, not mine." We get a little bit of insight into what he thinks of her when he makes a wish before blowing out the candles. He says, "Meri Gaurani ko hamesha khush rakhna Bhagwan. Thodi daffod hai lekin dil ki bahut achchi hai." He sees it as the goodness of her heart, everything she has done for him. But he always has it in the back of his mind that she wants to leave, which is why the moment she asks him how he is feeling, he thinks its because she wants to leave and agrees to get her ticket done.
Now Aru has realized that she has feelings for him beyond the platonic, nameless relationship they share. But he has no clue. Aru has said a couple of times, "Patni hoon main aapki," lekin way many more times, she's told him, "Pati banne ki koshish mat kijiye." Even when she tells him, "Main aapke liye, aapke hisaab se taiyaar hui," his response starts off as, "Ab tu aise kyun taiyyar hui hai, mujhe nahi patha." He does not know of her changed feelings.
Now, here is a man, 42 years old, who has never had the freedom to just be himself - who has always had to be the rule maker and the one everyone looked up to. I don't know if anyone else has noticed, but every single time someone addresses him as their God, there is a subtle change in expression on his face - as if its a burden too heavy for him to carry or he considers himself unworthy of carrying. He has always put or had to put others before himself and now its second nature to him. Saanvi, Uma and Mishri keep saying, "Kabhi tho apne baare mein soch."
Undeniably, he has feelings for Aru. He doesn't shy away from agreeing that Aru was perfect for him, when Saanvi tells him so the night of Mishri's wedding when she overhears Aru's plans to leave. He doesn't shy away from hugging her, holding her, touching her. But he has always put others before himself. And for Aru, the one he has begun to love, there is no way he could crush her dreams and tie her to him especially when he thinks she is waiting to get away.
In his perspective, she has been waiting to get away, she does not believe in this marriage and then today she says, "I want you to come to Ahmedabad with me because my family is waiting for their damaad." For someone who has never acknowledged their relationship, her behavior is completely confusing. Especially to a man like Mukhi who is simple and straightforward. To him, instead of prolonging this charade, it would be better to end it as soon as possible. We also get a sneak peek into how hurt he actually is when he says, "We shouldn't give them hopes. Because when your hopes crash, it hurts a lot." Maybe somewhere in a corner of his heart, he had hoped she wouldn't leave. And his hurt from hsi dashed hopes came out as anger. But at the end of the day, we do know he is going to go drop her off no matter what it entails, even if he is hurt and angry with her for whatever reason.
Coming to Saanvi and Mukhi's friendship with her, I know there have been discussions and dissections on friendships after marriage. My take on that is each couple is different - the dynamics of their relationship are different. There cannot be one rule about friendships outside of marriage that fit all. In the case of Aru and Mukhi, their marriage is not a solid one. They both have denied the relationship furiously. They respect each other, care for each other and have developed a certain level of physical and emotional comfort with each other. But they still don't have the kind of bond, understanding and communication that a husband and wife share. The one person, who is Mukhi's confidant in these turbulent times he is going through with Aru and their relationship is Saanvi.
Aru doesn't know Mukhi as a person. I don't think she knows him as well as he knows her at least (lets set aside his constant comments of her being childish and not being able to draw parallels between her and the diary girl). He knows her hopes, dreams and aspirations, he knows her love for her family, he knows her love for laddoos and also her favorite namkeen. On the other hand, Aru knows the village loves and respects their Mukhi and he would do anything for his village and family, he is a man of his word, simple and real. That's about it. A lot of Aru's insecurity stems from not knowing the real Mukhi. And possibly the only person who knows the real Mukhi (not the Mukhi who is the head of the village or a responsible, loving elder brother, but just the person Raidhan Raj Katara) is Saanvi. He is much more comfortable, hence, reading out the diary to Saanvi, telling her that though he knows Aru is perfect for him, he can't ask her to stay. I find nothing wrong in Mukhi's comfort level with Saanvi and how Aru is not a part of that equation. They haven't given each other the rights to share that kind of an equation.
As far as Mukhi is concerned, like he explains to Aru today, he does not want to tie her in this unwanted relationship between them. Involving her more and more in his life, discussing matters with her, would only entangle them further. I also think its his way of trying to distance himself from her to save himself some heartache when she leaves. Again, his comment about giving hopes and crashing them strengthens my belief that this is the case. So instead of focusing on Aru who is about to leave him the next day, he immerses himself in doing something else - like taking care of his pregnant friend who needs help. How right or wrong that is, is debatable, but it is for sure human tendency.
Just like Aru, who is flawed in her sudden outburst of jealousy and insecurity, Mukhi is flawed too. Aru has her reasons, and that coupled with her age and this being her very first tryst with the emotions of love, her outburst is in the form of jealousy and demanding love and attention, throwing a tantrum of sorts when she doesn't get it. Mukhi has his reasons, the love he has for her despite all the reasons they can't be together, his understanding of what her hopes and dreams mean to her and his not understanding that her changed behavior is a reflection of her changed feelings.
I'll end it with what I quoted in the beginning, "They are two fools." Fools in love. Both equally right and wrong in their own respects. And they will figure this out in their own way too.
Till then, we can only keep watching and loving both these fools!
Cheers,
Neet
Pati Patni Aur Panga
Jaane Anjaane Hum Mile
Tum Se Tum Tak
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Mannat Har Khushi Paane Ki
Vasudha
